Yo. Jewfag here, who wants to talk?

Yo. Jewfag here, who wants to talk?

define jew

not me

Formerly religious, made a couple of threads here answering questions about Judaism, Israel.
Seeya.

Obvious VPN. GET OUT
REEE

>VPN
Wait, those work? I tried VPN to get around a constant 'Connection Error'.

>'Hola does not work on Sup Forums, fuck you faggot'
mfw

What's it like being a part of the scum of the earth?

please stop ruining the world, thank you.

my point was what do you consider "a jew"

you're saying being "jewish" is not the same as being "a jew"

opinion on palestinians?

Askenaz/Sephardi

Don't you dare besmirch Count Von Count's name like that.

Kinda boring atm.

Talk to my cousins in the States, it's their fault.

>my point was what do you consider "a jew"
>you're saying being "jewish" is not the same as being "a jew"
Hm. Good point. Well, there's ethnic Jews and there's 'someone who worships and believes in Judaism.' I'm the former, and used to be the latter.

>opinion on palestinians?
Please turn off the propaganda, play nice, don't try to abort the Jewish Right of Return, don't fight us, agree to the principles of democracy, and we'll give you your One-State or Two-State Solution, whichever one you prefer.

See, the problem is, Most Israelis don't actually believe that the Palestinians ever actually want to stop fighting. The whole Palestinian thing was created when many of the Arabs attacked the Jews. We didn't want this war. (Well, some of us did, some of us wanted Greater Israel. The less ideological of us didn't, though.)

>Don't you dare besmirch Count Von Count's name like that.
I dunno, big nose, drinks the blood of innocent children...

Pretty hilarious to see an Israeli openly joke about Blood Libel.

W H Y
A R E
Y O U
D O I N G
I T

Ashkenaz. Family on my dad's side came from Germany.

>Pretty hilarious to see an Israeli openly joke about Blood Libel.
It's Sup Forums, buddy.

If we convince the Jews in Murica to leave....will you guys take them all?

We really want the jews to leave

Yeah it's just, for being so self-promoted for "Comedy", American Jews are such pussies about that shit. And everything in general.

They have to go back.

OK thanks don't know what else to ask bye

Yep. The more Jews in Israel, the merrier. You know, Hitler wanted to send the Jews to Israel? The fucking British Mandate wouldn't accept them.

How do I convert?

Sup, gentile here. Do you believe Jews to be the scum that everyone here perceives them to be?

Do you Israelis laugh or worry at us Europeans for the mess we made?

more hating muslims is more supporting israel

Is it true about the sex through a sheet thing ?

Do you shot web?

Really?

>agrees with hitler on the jewish problem
>feels most strongly connected to his people because of ethnicity
so you're basically a national socialist then

Why did you get them into our continent YOU KNEW THEY WERE APES

I think it would be great. Nobody gets shoa'd, no fighting, no blood spilled....lets just get the Murican Jews to go to Israel and leave us alone.

That's all anybody ever wanted in the over 100 instances the jews got kicked out . I don't blame the Israeli nationals for what our homegrown kikes do in the banks and media but we sure appreciate your willingness to take them off of our hands.

Now we just have to persuade them to leave. Any thoughts on propaganda that would be effective on them? I think with the right persuasive techniques and enough dank memes it could be done.

yes
i'm not saying "hating muslims is wrong", i'm just saying it's a good reason to flood your only allies (the west) with muslims they are not going to like, if you wanted to increase support for israel

Convince them Israel is a SJW paradise.

Why cant you just leave us in peace?

i see this idea bounced around here all the time but it really doesn't make any sense. the current demographic trends mean that western democracies are going to have to cater more and more to their growing muslim minority simply because they are democratic. how does it benefit israel to have rich, modern, nuclear armed western countries increasingly beholden to uncompromising israel/jew-hating muslims? because the some of the relatively few jews left in europe will have to leave for israel? that doesn't seem like a good tradeoff at all.

has israel seen an increase in "support" because of the ongoing invasion of europe? materially or otherwise? the jews egging the invasion on are largely ideologically opposed to nationalistic israel.

>Yeah it's just, for being so self-promoted for "Comedy", American Jews are such pussies about that shit. And everything in general.
>They have to go back.
It's the fucking Leftists. 'You hurt my feelings! You're evil!'

What happens when everything is offensive?

Bye.

>How do I convert?
Talk to a rabbi, convince them that you're for real, learn the laws, convert. (This is Orthodox. For all I know, the Reform and Conservatives would say 'If you're Jewish in your heart, you're Jewish. Yaaaaaay!~'

>Sup, gentile here. Do you believe Jews to be the scum that everyone here perceives them to be?
Nope. I think there are some weird conspiracy theories about leftist globalist Jews, but I don't care, because I'm not a leftist globalist Jew.

>Do you Israelis laugh or worry at us Europeans for the mess we made?
Both. Seriously, you guys are a bit fucked, and I hope that you manage to unfuck yourselves.

>Is it true about the sex through a sheet thing ?
Oh, haha. I don't think so. If you're married, you're allowed to touch... as long as she's not on her period or the week after.

On the other hand, I literally served with a guy with problems. He put duct tape on the inside of his sunglasses , leaving only a sliver of vision so he could see the ground, so he wouldn't be seen as rude for not looking at women. Seriously, some ultra-religious people are driving themselves insane with how far they're taking it. It's awful.

>so you're basically a national socialist then
I don't really know their philosohpy.

>Why did you get them into our continent YOU KNEW THEY WERE APES
We Israelis didn't do it. But hey, now you guys know that for some reason, just wanting really hard to get along on one side DOESN'T WORK.

How do you shot web?

How do I make shekels?

>le proxy vpn
When will this meme end?

what's the difference between ashkenazi and sephardi jews

>Any thoughts on propaganda that would be effective on them?
Quit trying to force Israel's hand in the peace talks. The Palestinians will want peace when they're ready. They aren't ready yet.

Once Israel is seen as safe, more Jews will come.

>That's all anybody ever wanted in the over 100 instances the jews got kicked out .
And that's bullshit. The Christians hated the Jews for all sorts of reasons, and there were financial incentives for kicking out the rich Jews and taking all their shit.

imo they are yet to reap the rewards of the hatred

likely in the form of coalition wars and deportation / criminalizing some muslim beliefs

tldr: it needs to get worse before it can get better

>what's the difference between ashkenazi and sephardi jews
When they got kicked out of Israel, the Jews spread to different places. The Ashkenazis went to the west, the Sephardis went to Spain, Middle East. They have slightly different traditions. Sup Forums says that they are different races, I'm not sure I believe that, a couple thousand years living with different amounts of sun will change your skin.

sephardic = spanish / latin jews
ashkenazi = other european jews
(including khazars)
there are several more, etheopian being black jews

A question for you, greatest ally, as your people are master manipulators but appear to have some deficiencies in long-term planning (not uncommon in the greedy).

You want to destroy the white race, yet white people, being naturally trustworthy (hello, fellow white man!), individualistic (no gibs here please), and shame-able (muh six billion), allow you to exist in our societies and gain undue wealth and influence. It would seem to me that, if we are replaced by some combination of Chinese and/or mud races, that they would basically take your ill-gotten wealth by force or legislation, or otherwise not allow themselves to be shamed by the holocaust myth, or otherwise, at the very least, be highly suspicious of your motives, possibly expelling you from many places. How do your people plan to maintain influence, considering these factors that separate whites and others?

i think in DNA tests there's a "unique gene" difference

>ashkenazi = other european jews
(including khazars)

if they exist, the descendants of khazar jews would be georgian jews, bukharan jews, or krymchaks. all of which are distinct from ashkenazi jews.

A lot of people don't know/bother to look up/want to admit that Jews were forced into banking to begin with so that the Kings of Europe could get loans.

But your chosen people did advocate for it.
Ashkenazi jews are super intelligent they must have known

Web, do you shot it?

>The count
One bajillion, two bajillion, three bajillion, four bajillion, five bajillion, six bajillion. Six bajillion HA HA HA HA

Is Asa a jew name

Jew girls have nice titties but that's it, otherwise they're ugly af and look inbred

Do you eat herring in Israel?

I think israel should just take the gaza strip and the west bank and tell the palestinians to fuck off personally.

I ultimately don't care if you guys make peace or blow each other up....I just want the Jews to move from here to there

Can I convert without the circumcision and marrying a chinese girl?

That's called counterfeiting, user.

So, I want to address the whole 'Jews flooded Europe with refugees!' meme. It's inaccurate. It's the globalist liberal Jews who did it. (Probably.) Don't blame us Israelis, or us religious Jews.>A question for you, greatest ally, as your people are master manipulators but appear to have some deficiencies in long-term planning (not uncommon in the greedy).
Deficiencies in long-term planning is the curse of all humans.

>You want to destroy the white race
Globalist liberal Jews want everyone to be equal. I think the white race is a casualty of that.

>yet white people, being naturally trustworthy (hello, fellow white man! individualistic (no gibs here please), and shame-able (muh six billion), allow you to exist in our societies and gain undue wealth and influence. It would seem to me that, if we are replaced by some combination of Chinese and/or mud races, that they would basically take your ill-gotten wealth by force or legislation, or otherwise not allow themselves to be shamed by the holocaust myth, or otherwise, at the very least, be highly suspicious of your motives, possibly expelling you from many places. How do your people plan to maintain influence, considering these factors that separate whites and others?

Yep, that's a good question. Which is a reason why I don't ascribe to your religion. I think people are trying to do what they think is right.

No, I don't think their ideas of 'what is right' is the same as mine.

>Web, do you shot it?
No, I exclusively shoot Palestinian children.

bleh, I forget how to signify laughter here.

>Is Asa a jew name
Nope. Asahel, maybe?

>Do you eat herring in Israel?
Yep.

>Jew girls have nice titties but that's it, otherwise they're ugly af and look inbred
I think they look cute.

How hated are Aryan looking americans over there

also middle eastern jew girls are hot and i went to a bah mitzvah and some pale girl had nice jew tits here

stay safe jew user

...

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>I think israel should just take the gaza strip and the west bank and tell the palestinians to fuck off personally.
Can't do that. Immoral, and the world would yell at us.
>I ultimately don't care if you guys make peace or blow each other up....I just want the Jews to move from here to there
Yeah, good luck with not denying anyone human rights.
>Can I convert without the circumcision and marrying a chinese girl?
Talk to a Reform Rabbi. Maybe a Deconstructionist. (No, I won't consider you Jewish, but they will.)

>How hated are Aryan looking americans over there
They aren't. My big sister has blue eyes and blonde hair, everyone thought she was Russian. I have blue eyes and look blond with short hair.

>also middle eastern jew girls are hot and i went to a bah mitzvah and some pale girl had nice jew tits here
>stay safe jew user
Nice. Thanks, bud.

Cute.

Do I have to get a circumcision and marry a jew to become accepted in a synogouge.

I have a jewy name for USA (English), and I like your guy's attitude towards business.

If I have a Jewish grand-grand-grandmother on my mothers side, am I a kike now?

>Do I have to get a circumcision and marry a jew to become accepted in a synogouge.
>I have a jewy name for USA (English), and I like your guy's attitude towards business.
Depends on the synagogue. Orthodox requires more effort.

Yep. I'm sorry, you're evil now. At least now you get all the Jew Privelege.

What are the advantages of orthodox over normal jew?

Welp, time to chop off my foreskin and learn about compound interest.

Seriously though, could I actually become an Israeli citizen with that much actual Jew blood?

1/2 my friends did birthright, and said it was a bit of a sales schpeel, for military "civil service".

What is your opinion of it?
What is with Kibitz (communal farms)? A lot of jewish/israeli stuff seems to be focused on communism, government crap, why?
Arn't jews supposed to despise government, and love business/entrepreneurship?
Indians in America seem to be the superior jews no offence....

birth right dude...

How is Israel at gun control?
What are the cap rates on multifamily units?
Is it just a country wear every one bets on speculation, instead of cash flow (asian instead of western)?

Orthodox is normal Jew.

t. former Orthodox.

Advantages? More educated about Judaism, smug superiority. Belief in law over feelings.

Seriously? Yes. You are Jewish according to Orthodox Jewish law.

>1/2 my friends did birthright, and said it was a bit of a sales schpeel, for military "civil service".
>What is your opinion of it?
I like the kids who come for Birthright. So American, though...

Is it a sales shpiel? Yeah. They could use less tourism, more brass tacks.>What is with Kibitz (communal farms)? A lot of jewish/israeli stuff seems to be focused on communism, government crap, why?
The early settlers were socialist. Also, because it worked. There wasn't enough money to go around, there wasn't enough ready land. Kibbutzim were the only way to get the land ready for use. They sacrificed personal freedoms and money for the sake of work, and I respect that. Same for the government-funded, building, roads, insurance, medical stuff. There wasn't enough money to do it normally. Now, the crisis is over, and that's why the kibbutzim are breaking up.
>Arn't jews supposed to despise government, and love business/entrepreneurship?
Depends on the Jew.

>Indians in America seem to be the superior jews no offence....
Meh.

>How is Israel at gun control?
If you're in a place with terrorism, you're allowed to have a gun. You try to run around stabbing people? You get capped.

>What are the cap rates on multifamily units?
>Is it just a country wear every one bets on speculation, instead of cash flow (asian instead of western)?
I'm sorry, I don't know. Money scares me.

if you can prove it, yes
do a dna test (23andme or something)

you may want to contact your local israeli embassy

So can i claim Im jewish if my last name ends with "man" and maybe has "gold, silver, green, or spell" in front of it?

>How is Israel at gun control?
from what i hear, jews who live in settlements are basically expected to own guns

also military service is p much mandatory, so that prob makes it easyer to acquire them

Shit. Well I think I can. Does anybody know if Käufl is a Jewish surname?

I did 23andme and I'm like 10% Ashkenazim...

No it has to be 1/4th to qualify and you aint a jew unless on your mothers side is an unbroken female succession to your mother to that great great great grandmother. Faggit

>Money scares me.
you lied a bit toooo much there bud.

good try shekelstein.

jews are literally just white people with big noses that we somehow think are a diffirent race even though they look just like slavs and armenians

>10% Ashkenazim
p sure that's considered very high

>jews are literally just white people with big noses that we somehow think are a diffirent race

Why are the blue and white flag the best?

>Israel jews everyone
>greece is jewed by everyone
blue/white is the alpha and omega of finance.

How do you define unbroken female succession?

we also have funland and somalia in the club desu

>So can i claim Im jewish if my last name ends with "man" and maybe has "gold, silver, green, or spell" in front of it?
Dunno. Maybe they'll believe you.

>from what i hear, jews who live in settlements are basically expected to own guns
>also military service is p much mandatory, so that prob makes it easyer to acquire them
Basically.

>you lied a bit toooo much there bud.
>good try shekelstein.
Not lying. I put off opening my letters from National Insurance for so long...

>Why are the blue and white flag the best?
Blue is the best color, and the color of divinity, and white is pure.

>How do you define unbroken female succession?
Mom's mom's mom's mom's mom's....

How are the girls in Israel?

How do American Jewish girls act? Are they gf material?

IS IT TRUE THAT YOU KEK GOYS ON THE DAILY SENPAI?

Oh well, then I'm technically Jewish I guess.

Are Ashkenazim looked down upon in Israel?

Hey, wanna hear a rare Jewish joke?

So, in Poland, the Jews were huddled and barricaded in the synagogue. A girl in the city had been murdered, and they were bracing for the inevitable pogrom.

Suddenly! A crashing at the door! "Let me in!"

"It's the Rabbi," they cried, "Let him in!"

The man rushes in through the doors, with a huge grin on his face. "Wonderful news, Rabbosai!"

"The murdered girl was Jewish!"
Check 'em.

National Insurance?
What is this?

What is your favorite tourist city to go to in Israel?

How is the cost of living compared to the average salary?
Is it easy to get welfare like on a scale from China (hard) to Norway (easy)?

Do you have a homeless bum problem, like we do in California?

>How do American Jewish girls act? Are they gf material?
vary like any other group but the stereotype of spoiled JAP exists for a reason

Is Israeli food basically arab food?
No such thing as jew food, except the holiday stuff?

Shalom brother

Is there a english speaking goy brigade in the IDF I can join to help fight terrorism? Pretty keen to do a tour.

*an

Shalom, /ourrabbi/!

What do you think of Torah observant followers of Yeshua?
We fight in the IDF right next to you, protecting Israel from enemies.

>How are the girls in Israel?
A bit arrogant. Judgemental. Nice, though, once you get past that.

>Are Ashkenazim looked down upon in Israel?
Nope. Mizrachim think that they're being discriminated against by them, though.

Upon consideration, yeah, a bit. Ashkenazi Jews are considered rich and stuffy, not emotional and not open. Think of city folk stereotypes.

>National Insurance?
>What is this?
Um. You ask tough questions. You have to pay them and sometimes they pay you back?

>What is your favorite tourist city to go to in Israel?
I like Haifa. There's a wonderful breeze, and the sea is so pretty.

>How is the cost of living compared to the average salary?
Bleh. It's kind of bad. Education is about a fifth of what it's like in the States, though.

>Is it easy to get welfare like on a scale from China (hard) to Norway (easy)?
It's not really easy, but it's relatively easy. (Of course, since it's easy, you hear horror stories about awful people staffing the Welfare Offices, disregarding people with no reason, hostile.)

>Do you have a homeless bum problem, like we do in California?
I think so. In the city, you tend to see beggars. Poor guys...

>Is Israeli food basically arab food?
Oh, we happily steal any food culture from anywhere. (We've not had much luck on the Mexican food front, more's the pity.)

But yes. Ashkenazi Jewish food, Mizrachi Jewish food, Arabic food, American food.

You should try Cholent if you get the chance. You put in beans, maybe wheat, meat, maybe corn, carrots, potatos, ketchup, honey. Leave it to simmer for a day. Delicious and meaty.

>Is there a english speaking goy brigade in the IDF I can join to help fight terrorism? Pretty keen to do a tour.
We don't segregate much according to religion, I'm pretty sure you could join whatever brigade you pass the tests for.

Ahalan.

>Shalom, /ourrabbi/!
Hey, buddy.

lol. How do you feel about the super based Haredim NEETS who cuck you out of your tax money?

>We fight in the IDF right next to you, protecting Israel from enemies.
I will call you a brother.

>What do you think of Torah observant followers of Yeshua?
This is going to be upsetting, but I don't think that Messianic Jews really observe the Torah. My uncle's one, you know? And he does good deeds, and he will go to heaven, because trying to do the right thing counts.

But I don't think he understands the Torah all that well, he hasn't studied the laws.

If you're an Orthodox Jew who believes that Jesus was the Messiah, that's fine, if you still keep the traditions and Torah. But Jesus changed things.

Why is everyone so rude in Isreal?

>lol. How do you feel about the super based Haredim NEETS who cuck you out of your tax money?
I feel so sorry for them. They're taught that it's so hard to avoid sin, they build their own neuroses. I'd love to teach them that it's okay to interact with the wider world. Consider them uneducated hikkineets, terrified that the world is out to get them. Pitiful, so very literally.