Cashing in while the iron’s hot, Verne “Mini-Me” Troyer’s ex-girlfriend and sex tape co-star Ranae Shrider sat down for an interview with News of the World to openly discuss the couple’s sex life. I will never, ever in my entire life write anything as funny as the unintentional hilarity that comes out of Ranae’s mouth. This chick should do Vegas:
On sex in general with a midget: “So I’d lie on the bed and Verne would crawl up my legs to have sex with me. And as he did it his feet would be tickling my knees! It wasn’t quite as passionate as sex with a normal-sized man but he did his best. He didn’t wear a condom. There was no point, they’re all too big. On the whole though, he wasn’t short of sexy skills and tried his hardest to make up in technique what he lacked in size.”
On their first time and the Mini-Me’s magical rebound skills: “I had no complaints. But the whole thing was over in three minutes. It was strange having sex with someone who couldn’t reach to kiss me at the same time, except for my tummy that is! I was so relieved it was over. But minutes later Verne was ready to go again. That night we made love three times in 20 minutes, which most bigger men only dream about doing.”
On why midget’s prefer sex on dry land: “I thought it would be fun to do it in the tub,” she said. “Sadly I almost killed him. While Verne was watching TV I ran the bath, emptied a bottle of bubbles in it and called him in. But the bubbles were so thick and high that once he climbed in he got lost under the water and I couldn’t see him.”
Mini-Me almost drowns trying to do his girlfriend in a bubble bath. Jesus. *hangs up keyboard* Sorry, guys, you just can’t follow something like that. I’ll be simultaneously laughing/crying/inhaling White-Out in the supply closet until the next post. Hold my calls.
>“I thought it would be fun to do it in the tub,” she said. “Sadly I almost killed him. While Verne was watching TV I ran the bath, emptied a bottle of bubbles in it and called him in. But the bubbles were so thick and high that once he climbed in he got lost under the water and I couldn’t see him.”
Whenever I see this picture, knowing nothing about whoever this is, I think, "Goddamn, fuck, I hope it's a friend of his who took this picture. I hope someone didn't do a double-take, stop, and whip out their phone to snap pics of this poor dude trying to go about his business and make him feel like a circus attraction. Fuck, I'm glad I was born completely healthy. I hope wherever that dude is that he's living well."
James Carter
She looks like a jew
Ryder Bell
>That night we made love three times in 20 minutes, which most bigger men only dream about doing.”
I bet he fisted her.
John Edwards
he has fucked hotter women than most of Sup Forums so he could have it worse
Jaxon Morgan
Maybe that's where this pic came from.
Chase Walker
I bet he literally jumped in with both feet
The dirty little cunt
Isaiah Thomas
>“I thought it would be fun to do it in the tub,” she said. “Sadly I almost killed him. While Verne was watching TV I ran the bath, emptied a bottle of bubbles in it and called him in. But the bubbles were so thick and high that once he climbed in he got lost under the water and I couldn’t see him.”
holy shit I'm dying.
Kayden King
that is nearly as big as my dick........... fuck
Ryder Rogers
wtf
Still though, that's a pretty big benis
Jordan Bailey
>that dick
Jackson King
jesus his dick is bigger than mine
Colton James
He's not even hard...
Zachary Turner
Bitch got Verned
Thomas Gray
>Lacked in size Wtf is this bitch mental This guy is average length. And way above average T H I C C. Look how his dick fills out her hand. Hes fucking bigger than most normal men Sizequeens reeeeeeeeeee
Liam Ortiz
I'm not sure. Is there a picture with it next to a coke can for comparison?
Jack Cruz
That's not the same dude, Wolfgang.
Eli Carter
and im like 6'4" too.... what the fuck mom and dad
Alexander Clark
An interesting question for Sup Forums: Would you accept a hundred million dollars, if it meant you had to become a midget?
Adam Baker
CHECK YOUR HEIGHT PRIVILEGE, user!
Joseph Anderson
fuck no.
Ryan Clark
It's not funny. He's a nice guy. This is a pretty trashy betrayal on her part.
Wyatt Ross
Seems like she's just talking shit. That dick is big, not long, but it's fucking thick.
Jackson Ross
If i had kids already, yes
I wouldn't care how i look if it made my kids safe in life
Charles Ortiz
This, but the bitch looks like a kike, so I'm not shocked
Brody Lewis
That's not him. That guy is way to talk to be vern
Jackson Thompson
Yes.
Id smoke weed all day, go to tijuana for whores, actually fuck that ill just emigrate to europe and get the finest eastern european sloots every single day, probably donate some money to assad, invest in russian infrastructure companies, and mooch off life until 95. easy choice mate, next question
Jose Price
Don't you think you should ask for more than a hundred million dollars? A hundred million dollars isn't exactly a lot of money these days. Virtucon alone makes over 9 billion dollars a year!
Noah Bennett
I'm sorry but I fucking lost it here too.
Camden White
agree. but he is at fault too for not realizing she is a cunt. guy could have just bought a hooker.
Jason Baker
TRIPOD R I P O D
Jace Long
>sitting in the loo with the underwear on
Anthony Brown
No. I would rather die poor than live that way, having already experienced a proper human body.
Jacob Ramirez
This Sup Forums is dumb as fuck
LOOK HOW TALL THAT MIDGET IS
Er look how big its dick i-
You know what
FUCK you guys idk why I even clicked this thread
OUT
William Richardson
>benis
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....BEPNIS...
Adrian Lee
my sides. i'm going to samefag you a hundred million (YOU)s.
Carter Myers
Shut the fuck up you autistic retarded bitch.
Xavier Martinez
>putinandturkey.jpg
Samuel Gonzalez
Is this Sup Forums?
Andrew Jackson
HE KINDA LOOKS LIKE A BABY....
Kevin Morales
Hahahahahahahaha
John Gray
I literally just rolled out of my bed laughing, and woke my gf up. I read it to her and she told me to shut the fuck up and sleep on the couch.
