Nigger Hate/Nigger Joke Thread

ITT: Nigger Hate/Jokes
A man goes into an antique store to look around when he spots a hand carved antique wooden rat.
The man asks the shop owner, "how much for the rat?"
The store owner says, "the rat is one hundred dollars, and the instructions cost an additional hundred dollars."
The man says, "I'll take the carving but I don't see the need for instructions."
The man leaves the store with the carved rat and a dozen rats appear at his feet. As he's walking down the street more and more rats begin to follow him.
The further he walks more and more rats start following him. As he gets down by the ocean there are tens of thousands of rats behind him, so he throws the wooden rat into the ocean and all ten thousand rats jump into the water and drown.
The man returns to the antique store, the owner asks, "have you come back for the instructions?"
The man says, "no, I've come back to see if you have any carved wooden niggers."

A White man is the only survivor of a plane crash in Africa. He's stumbling through
the desert, hopelessly lost, no water or ANYTHING.
He kicks a lamp buried in the sand. Just for the hell of it, he rubs the lamp and
*POOF* a genie appears...A NIGGER GENIE! The White says to himself
"Oh, great, nigger genie...!" The nigger genie pouts,
"Oh great, a White man," but the genie continues "Alright, I'm honor-bound to grant
you three wishes, but since you're White, EVERYTHING you wish for, I'm going to
give TWICE as much to every 'Black' within a 100-mile radius of here."
The White figures that this is still a pretty good deal.
"Okay, I want 1,000,000 dollars."
"Done! In your bank account at home you have a million dollars. But now
every black within 100 miles of here has TWO million dollars...!"
"Damn it! Okay, I want a 40 foot yacht."
"Done! But now every black within 100 miles of here has an 80 foot yacht!"
"Shit!" The White man thinks about it for a second, then says, "QUICK---scare me
half to death!"

keep em comin pls

...

Most of you are well aware that NASA sent several chimps into orbit before they risked a human. But did you know that NASA actually sent a nigger into orbit with a chimpanzee once? Of course, NASA will deny it - and for good reason because here is what happened.

Once the capsule was in orbit, the nigger watched the chimp like a hawk to see what it would do. It wasn't long before the chimp reached up and flipped a toggle switch on the panel directly over its head. The nigger then did exactly the same thing with the toggle switch on the panel over his head.

A little later, the chimp reached forward and made a minor adjustment to one of the rotary knobs directly in front of it. Once again, the nigger saw what the chimp did and did exactly the same thing with the rotary knob in front of him.

After several orbits, the chimp reached into a zippered pocket on its left sleeve and removed a small piece of paper. The chimp looked at the paper, folded it carefully, and returned it to the pocket.

Once again, carefully emulating the chimp, the nigger unzipped the pocket on the left sleeve of his spacesuit to learn the contents of the paper. Much to the nigger's dismay, there was no paper in the pocket. The nigger then feverishly searched every pocket of his spacesuit looking for the paper, but to no avail. There was no paper.

When the chimp was occupied elsewhere, the nigger carefully reached over and removed the paper from the chimp's pocket. Turning away from the chimp so that the chimp couldn't see, the nigger unfolded the paper. Here is what it said:

"Feed the nigger at noon."

Nigger Toby and Tyrone are beggars. They both beg in different areas of town for the same amount of time. Toby collects only eight or nine dollars every day. Tyrone brings home a suitcase of ten-dollar bills every day. He drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house, and has a lot of money to spend.
'Hey, homie,' Toby says to Tyrone, 'I beg just as long and hard as you do, so how come you bring home a suitcase full of ten-dollar bills every day?"
Tyrone says, "Look at your sign, what does it say"?
Toby's sign reads: "I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support."
"What's wrong with that?" Tyrone asks him.
Tyrone says, "No wonder you only get eight or nine dollars!"
Toby says, "All right, so what does your sign say?"
Tyrone shows Toby his sign. It reads,
"I only need another ten dollars to move back to Africa"

Two niggers walking down the street see a sign that says, "Turn White for $15." The two groids turn their pockets inside out only to discover that one has a 20 dollar bill and the other one has a 10 dollar bill. Since neither one of them has exactly $15, they can't figure out how they can both get turned White.....Finally one of them has a stroke of genius. "You take $20 and go in there and get turned White, then when you come out you can give me your $5 change and then I will have $15 and I can get turned white, too!" "Bet, dog," says the other boot-lip, and he goes inside. 10 minutes later, you wouldn't believe it. That nigger was blond haired, blue eyed, and even had on a suit and a tie. The first nigger says, "Man, holy shit, I can't believe it, you are really White! Hurry up and give me that $5 so I can do it too!" "Fuck you, nigger, get a job!"

Billy a Klansman, was driving down the road when he spotted his preacher standing by his car on the side of the road with a gas can. Of course he pulled over and let the reverend in to give him a ride to the gas station about 5 miles up the road.
A little ways down the road Billy sees a nigger walking. Now Billy disliked niggers so much he would swerve over on them when he got the chance. Billy said to himself, "Oh Lord, I can't hit this nigger with my preacher in the car."
But then he thought, "I know what I'll do. I'll just pretend I fell asleep at the wheel and swerve over to get him."
As he approached the nigger he closed his eyes and swerved over....BAM!
Billy pretended to shake himself awake and look startled, "Oh no! Did I hit that poor nigger?"
The preacher looked at Billy and calmly said, "No, but you got close enough that I could smack him with the gas can."

holy shit these are great

Contribute a bit.


Three guys escaped from prison: a white, a Mexican, and a nigger. They had been running for hours and came across a farm. Very hungry, the White guy headed for the peanut patch and began to steal and eat peanuts by the handful. He heard the distinct sound of a shotgun round being chambered, turned around and saw he was confronted by a farmer.
While aiming the 12-gauge in his direction, the farmer said, "Stealing my crops, huh? ...Tell ya what. You bend over and shove them peanuts up your ass& I'll let you live." The guy did as instructed, and the farmer let him go.
A minute later the Mexican was confronted by the farmer, in the cucumber patch. "...You shove that cucumber up your ass, and I'll let you go." The Mexican began to insert the cucumber up his ass and laughed.
Perplexed, the farmer asked, "What the hell's so funny?"
The Mexican answered, "I'm thinking about the nigger in the watermelon patch."

Two black garbage men were hauling a load of trash to the dump in their open-bed garbage truck when a huge windstorm started. Their load included of a lot of light stuff that started blowing out of the back of the truck. They decided that they'd better do something about it, so one of them climbed in to the back of the truck and lay down on top of the load to keep it from blowing away. A couple of white guys pulled into the traffic lane directly behind them and one of them said to the other, "Look! Somebody threw away a perfectly good nigger!"

When hunting deer in the south you can shoot a nigger on the last day of the season, if you have the right tag. This happened to a friend of mine. He hunted all day every day and never saw anything, it came down to the last day and was getting dark. He went over a rise and in the valley, and below he saw a Nigger sitting at a picnic table. It was eating chittlins, KFC, watermelon, and drinking a glass of vintage Mad Dog 20\20. He thought, "well it's the last day and I haven't seen a deer. I guess I'll have to shoot this Nigger." He put the cross-hairs on him and was just about to pull the trigger when he felt a tap on his shoulder. "What the hell ya doing?", the person behind him said. He responded, "Well, I haven't seen a deer and it's the last day of season so I thought I'd shoot that nigger down there." "Not off of my feeder your not!!!!"

One day God decides he's fed up with dumb world and kills everyone and starts over with cockroaches. He's dividing up the good and bad and the faithful and the sinners, when he realizes there are too many niggers. So he makes a deal with Satan to take approximately half of the nigger load off his hands and the deal is done.
Two weeks later God and Satan are having lunch and Satan asks: "How's it going?"
God puts face into his hands and says, "I don't know what I was thinking. The niggers are running amok. The pearly gates have been stolen. They're pulling the gold bricks out of the street and melting them down for teeth. Someone gave St. Peter a buckwheat. (That's a low caliber bullet up the ass in case you were wondering.) The white girls have all been raped at least three times each. The angels won't even come out of their houses, the clouds are all yellow because they piss just any place that suits them. And worst of all, THEY FOUND SOME WAY TO BRING THEIR FOOD STAMPS AND WIC VOUCHERS WITH THEM!!! I don't know what I'm going to do."
The Devil rolls his eyes, grabs God and says, "You think you've got it bad? The stupid, lazy niggers down in Hell let the fucking fire go out!"

A midget walks in to a bar, takes a few shots of whiskey, jumps up on the bar stool and said, "Hey, any of you motherfuckers want to fight me?" A guy 6 feet two inches tall and weighing 253 lbs stood up and said, "I'll fight you!" That little midget jumped on him and beat the shit out of him. Next night the midget walked in and took a few shots, jumped on his bar stool and said, "Hey, any of you motherfuckers want to fight me?" This time an even bigger guy stood up. He was about 6 foot 5 inches and weighed 348 lbs. The midget jumped on him and beat the shit out of him, too. So the bar owner went out and bought a gorilla and locked it in the bathroom. Later that night the midget walked in, took a few shots of whiskey and jumped on the bar stool and asked if there were any sons of bitches that want to fight. This time no one stood up. The bar owner said, "There's a guy in the bathroom that wants to kick your ass." Now the gorilla was in the bathroom for about 6 hours and was really pissed off. That midget walked into the bathroom and there was all kinds of noise for about 2 hours. Finally that midget walked out, sat down all out of breath, looked at the bar owner and said, "Tell that damn nigger his fur coat is in the toilet."

One day a white farmer and an ANC Zuma nigger were having a big fight! Just before it got out of hand, God decided it was enough, and a loud voice came out of the heavens.
"I will give each one of you a wish", the voice thundered. "You, Zuma will wish first".
Zuma said, "now I will get rid of all you white people! I wish that ALL black people be in Africa ,and all white people be in other countries. Also I wish for a BIG high wall around Africa so no white people can come in."
"So be it" God said, and POOF, a big high wall reaching above the highest mountains appeared around the African continent, and all the niggers from around the world appeared in Africa.
God looked at the white farmer, and asked "What do you want my son?"
The farmer looked around, and sked, "God, the wall around Africa... no one can get in or out?"
"Yes", God said.
"Well then", the white guy said, "I want just a six pack of beer, a chair, and Africa to be filled with water."

What do you call three niggers sitting in a sauna?
Gorillas in the mist.

A woman had just given birth and was waiting to get her baby from the midwife. She walks in and says, "I've got some good news and some bad news". "What's the bad news?" the mother asks. "The baby's black", the Midwife answers. "So what's the good news then", asks the mom. "It's dead.", the Midwife replies!

A cowboy, an Indian, and a nigger are standing on a tall mountain looking down on the United States. The Indian says, "once we were many, but now we are few." Then the nigger says, "once we was few, but now weez be many." The cowboy says, "that's because we haven't played cowboys and niggers yet."

A young nigger walked into the local welfare office, marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi, I'm tired of handouts, I want a job."
The man behind the counter replied, "Your timing is amazing. We've just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nympho daughter. You'll have to drive around in a big white Mercedes, but the suits, shirts, and ties are provided. Because of the long hours of this job, meals will also be provided and you will also be required to escort the young lady on her overseas holidays. The salary package is $200,000 a year."
The nigger said, "Ah c'mon, you're bullshitting me!"
The man behind the counter said, "Well, you started it."

A Chinese man was skipping rocks across a lake one day. A Coon comes by and asks, "Wat yo doin?"
The Chinaman replied, "You skip rock across water, and it tell you your ancestors."
"Watch", he continues. The Chinaman skips the rock across the water, with the sound, "Ching, Chang, Chong!"
Ching is my Mother's name, Chang is my Father's name, and I am Chong," the Chinaman finishes.
The Coon says, "Lit mah ty dat."
He picks up a rock, and he skips it across the water with the sound, "Chim-Pan-Zee!" Then the nigger gets mad, and throws a great big rock into the water, "Bab-boon!"

...

A white guy, an Asian and a nigger are on the observation deck of the Empire State Building. The White guy says to the nigger, "if you catch the wind just right, you can jump off of this building and float safely to the ground." The nigger says, "Come on maing! You is bullshittin' Dere's no way anyones kins do dats." "No", said the white guy, "it's absolutely true! I'll prove it to you." So the white guy jumps off the side, and sure enough, he floats safely to the ground. He came back up to the deck a few minutes later and said to the nigger, "See, I told you!" The nigger says, "Wow! Dats amazin' an sheeit! I gots ta try me dat!" The nigger then climbed over the safety barrier and the jumped off the side. "SPLAT!!!" The nigger ended up as a red stain on the sidewalk below. The Asian guy then turned to the white guy and said, "I don't know about you sometimes Superman!"

...

kek

keep em coming OP. wish I had something funny to contribute

Google isn't just a name for niggers

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