Time to convert to Judaism

I'm sure most of you have seen the post, we were told by those repeating integers to convert for 2016, there's still time to join the chosen people.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=n04EBjwPULE
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Six-Day_War
m.youtube.com/channel/UCThF4tdbpELy8bNy40BOQhw
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

Converts aren't real Jews, and would never get invited to the world domination meetings.

If I convert, can I claim my free Jew Shekels?

Have you even read the story of Ruth? Its good goy becomes jew. The jewish equivalent of imbred rednecks might not want to intermarry but they will all accept a genuine convert

Why?
How?
Will my nose grow from it?

This is just wrong. The Talmud says we must accept converts, and that it is a sin to even remind a convert that they used to be a goy.

Jesus died for you, he is the messiah

Shut up ur mouth Obama

what the fuck do jews believe in anyways???

>Why?
Some person posted "What should Sup Forums's new ideology be and I think someone got septs saying Judaism
>How?
Go to a rabbi (preferably Orthodox) and express intrest in conversion. He may spurn you at first but then you will be a convert in progress. After studying Torah and learning some basic hebrew you will go before a council of Jews, get circumcised or your penis pricked, and then submerged into a a bath.

youtube.com/watch?v=n04EBjwPULE

they don't allow conversions, it's a hereditary cult and if you don't have a large Jewish family you won't get the nepotism benefits, nor the bloodlust that can only be fixed by lots and lots of shekels.

This seems accurate based on what Luke Ford says. He says that there's reluctance, but that they will accept you if you persist, although you may never be fully one of them.

cont
He converted to Orthodoxy. I would guess Reform is more lax.

I just stole the hat.

Airforce?

>the messiah
>died
Not in my book

Wat

هل تتحدث العربية

Jews are based. Sup Forums is a Jewish board

To be quiet honest he didn't meet all of the old testament requirements, especially since he isn't patrilineally descended from David (through Joseph)

If you like being a cuck, reform is for you.
I can't stand the liberalism and "it's the year 2016" perversion of a 4000 year old culture.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Six-Day_War

If I was a Jew I would go Orthodox, why bother at all if you don't follow the word of God?

I find Orthodoxy more compelling, although I don't think I'll convert in the near future.
Are you Orthodox or secular?

m.youtube.com/channel/UCThF4tdbpELy8bNy40BOQhw

This channel will get you on the path to righteousness.

Jews forgot about God, they worship Baal now.

WAT THE FUCK R U JEWISH FUCK FUCK FUCK JEW ISRAEL FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not. I was just joshing you.
I don't know a lot about Egypt.

FUCK ISRAEL I KILL ISRAEL I KILL JEW

Suprised you guys haven't converted since you've seen that God still protects his chosen.

Thank you, brother and we will do our best to bring peace and prosperity to the White and Jewish people in the world. Together, we shall secure a world free from the terror of the oppressive Muslims that have plagued us both for so long.

Hopefully this union will help shed some truth and light onto the disposition of President Elect Trump to help clear his good name. He is not a racist but a friend to Israel and the Jewish and White people.

FUCK AMERICA FUCK AMERICA FUCK ISRAEL

Exactly.

Stay mad Pharaoh

Well see, if the messiah comes and it turns out to be Jesus, again, then mazzeltov!

I'm Christian.
So according to stormfaggot canon law I'm already a dirty kike worshipping jew.
Bow to me goyim!

They're not looking for converts. They're a tribe. If you can get in, they'll let you know

They aren't looking for converts, but they will accept the willing, true believers as Jews.

Obey your pimp ruler.

this. judaism is the only religion that was SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN.

but Sup Forums doesn't believe it because in it they are not ubermensch

nice videos, I enjoyed them

Can a goy who converted marry a jew?

yes, unless she is a kohen (of a priestly line)

Shabbat Shalom

Shabbat Shalom, I'm still a goy tho (my dad is Jewish by blood not religion)

>Your dad not your mum

>Judaism is matrilineal
>Find out dad is Jew
>Research Judaism find out its super cool, but I would have to go a through a lengthy conversion to be a real jew
FeelsBadMan

nah jesus was a pretty cool guy aye

He was a cool guy, but not the Messiah

I value my foreskin too much. Why adopt a life near devoid of sexual pleasure through choice? No amount of shekels could make up for it.

> sexual pleasure
> Australia

You speak of the curse yes, but there was no patrilenial requirement. People forget that God respects women far more than they realize. All that matters is he was of the line of David.

...

is i stopped believing in god i would not stop calling myself christian, i would not stop calling myself christian if faced with death.

He was the lamb, but he is returning as a lion.

Goyim only have to follow the seven laws of Noah
>Do not deny God.
>Do not blaspheme God.
>Do not murder.
>Do not engage in illicit sexual relations.
>Do not steal.
>Do not eat from a live animal.
>Establish courts/legal system to ensure obedience to the law.
If you do all that you're a righteous gentile
literal nonsense
It wasn't the only requirement he missed out on
Nice trips, and I can respect that. I am not a Christian. If anything I would describe my self a Noahide Deist
Whatever you say user

Yeah but it also says all these other things.

where do I find a Jewish waifu?

It's old testament Law not Talmud. I also think the Talmud is comparable to the Hadiths or apocrypha, a good reference but not really Cannon.
Practicing Israel or NYC. Non practicing would add California and South Florida to that List

for me it is more about his message, the way he taught us to live is definitly more ethical/moral then jewish teachings, we are all seen as equal under jesus and anybody can seek redemption. jesus was a real person, he gave his life to show his devotion to his message, his death is the only reason our countries are not some fucked pagan madness.

I'm exhausted so good night, and lilah tov to the Israel bro

Honestly Paganism gets a bad rap IMO but I still think you can do whatever you want dude, if it gives you happiness and fills that void thats in all of us that's all that matters. Also don't kill for your god that shits crazy

gd night user remember that jesus is why your life is better then the middle east. i have no dislike of jews just love of teachings of jesus.

what would give the impression i would ever kill in the name of religion

I like his teachings but don't believe in his divinity. That's why I'm not christian

Nothing gave me that impression, its just good advice in general

>It's old testament law
Not what I posted?

Also lol the Talmud not being canon meme. Listen my dude it literally says in the Talmud to lie about what's in the Talmud and tell goyim they don't believe it so idk if you're trying to pull that meme on me right now ironically or what.

YO! WE WAZ KIKES N SHEEEEIIIIT MOFUKKA!! WE WAS SHOVIN MENORAHS UP OUR ASSES AND PRETENDING WE WAS KEKSERVATIVES G MAC DADDY PIMP DAWGS!

i dont beleive in his divinity just in god, i think his teachings are in line with what god would want but not that he is divine. for context i have never gone to church regularly just for advice in hard times.

have a goodnight user its late here too

"Anyone who complains about refugees or illegal immigrant's MUST be some anti-semetic liberal!!" Durrrrr! Time 4 me 2 virtue signal just like I complain about my opponents doing, I staaaaand with Israel!!! Please take my jobs, kikes, take my kids and screw my YF, just don't call me anit-semetic! -- Average Cuckservative right-wing commie basement dweller online

>i have no dislike of jews just love of teachings of jesus.
Well Jesus "dislikes" jews.

Jews don't fucking believe in their religion, it's just for show to confuse the goyim. How many times have you heard "He's not Jewish, he's Catholic"? It's psyops dude. Get woke and merry christmas.

I thought "Who the fuck would eat a live animal?"
Then I remembered Japan.

Then why is it required to have Jewish heritage to move to Israel?

It's not. You'd be surprised at how many Afrikaners converted to Judaism and then moved to Israel in the last 20-30 years. Google it, its fucking strange.

>who the fuck would a live animal
There's nothing wrong with it though.

Anything to get out of a nigger infested shithole. Also Jewberb (Johannesburg) has always been infested with kikes.

Parasites

This. Judaism is the final redpill