No skills

>no skills
>no job prospects
>economy is total shit
>social life dead, all friends and women are degenerates

Is dedicating your life to the army the way to go? I mean, 3 square meals and a mattress, right?

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Yeah mate, blasting muzzies in infantry is probably based.

If you're autistic/good at games take a look at the drone programs. It's best suited for emotionless spergs who don't care about blowing up a kid or 2.

Live by the Jew, die by the Jew

Remember that goyim don't go to Abraham's عليه السلام bosom

You have to physically train. You're kinda screwed there.

losing weight for it now, I really want a 35Q contract but I cant due to a misdemeanor 4 on my record, so I cant get any contract that requires security clearance.

I wont be able to get any gunnery, like an avenger, either because my eyes are fucked (lazy eye).

I dont want to be an armorer because I heard its like playing accountant, but for bullets and you spend more time doing that than actually cleaning and fixing shit.

Fuck me, dunno what i'll do, combat engineer if I can swing it.

You could end up on a isis torture .webm when donald trumps ships you over to iraq.

why would you do it unless it's your life calling?

>104505367
>>no skills
>>no job prospects
>>economy is total shit
>>social life dead, all friends and women are degenerates

Might as well kill yourself.

I've been thinking about the army as well. How long would it take to get in satisfactory physical shape (am hungry skeleton, not morbid whale)?

The army has always been the way to go to everyone that was clueless or didnt know what the fuck to do.

Here we're all full and it's quite hard to get accepted.

>Might as well kill yourself.
Yes, that is why he is asking about the army.

>Sure, son, you can be a drone pilot. Army recruiters never lie about these things.

Why the fuck are you asking Sup Forums for advice on this topic?

Why the fuck are you looking so hard for something to dedicate your life to? And that's a pretty low standard.

Now, being a careerist supply sergeant or something isn't the worst idea in the world, or, say something that gets you job skills or trade skills, but your'e smart enough to get here and post.

he is a good goy....
youtube.com/watch?v=iHM_PHKpKyU

I am a 35n and a sergeant. Ask me questions

Basic will take care of the strength, just start the process and get as much running in beforehand as you can.

>35N
Fucking nerds. 35M master race here.

I wanna be spesial ops like in muh jewish movies

wat do?

Yeah, go for being an officer.
Free education, and you get a comfier life than the average grunt.

How many slimes have you tortured?

Army PT is a joke, and I'm in the infantry where it's supposed to be hard. The hardest thing we do is run 5 miles at an 8 minute mile pace, and it's only hard for me because I'm shitty at running in general.

None, that's not a real thing.
We don't do that.

Joining the army has to be one of the best ways to get in shape. Regular schedules, food, exercise and general training. Also builds character. Most people I've met who are or was in the army are pretty based and don't fuck around.

>The hardest thing we do is run 5 miles at an 8 minute mile pace
Is that in basic or just infantry training?

Says it on your MOS description, fag.

>Difficult interrogations

Do you just pull your undies down and let them fuck your ass? Reaching money agreements and shit?

Fuck the Army, go Marine Core you pussy

Ok pfc slicksleeve

You have to do it once in OSUT to graduate. My unit does it every Monday as a detox run, sweat out all the weekend alcohol.

5 miles in 40 minutes is the standard.

The Army is an easy way to jump from the lower class into the middle class. Here is a way to do it. There are many.

Join the army. Any MOS will do. You dont even need to score high on the asvab, just get your foot in the door (the asvab is easy unless you are retarded though). Once you do your 4 years, get out and go to college. Once you have a degree, join the Reserves under a 09S contract (OCS), and use your officer comission to land any job you want without actually having to do very much.

Being an officer after you have been enlisted is pretty cool. You can fuck with the senior enlisted soldiers with no recourse.

Sure...

Interrogations=/=Torture
You'll get way more from giving a dude some tea and a cig than you ever would water boarding him.
Woah there sarnt I think that's senior sham shield to you.

Prior USAF EMT here. ANG to be exact. 6 weeks of BMT which was pretty easy, followed by job training for 9 months. I went in to get training that could be applied in the civilian world because I knew I didn't want to make a career out of it. Once training was complete I used the GIMB and a bonus I received fo college. It was a great way to get job training and money for college. I have no regrets.

On a side note, I'm really glad I didn't sign up for active duty.

>You can fuck with the senior enlisted soldiers with no recourse.

youtube.com/watch?v=hoUkh1wpxxg

>all friends and women are degenerates

That will not change in the army fyi

With the way the US is aggravating Russia into starting WW3, I don't think now is the time to join the army.

If you do decide to join, make sure you have a plan or gain skills that can be used for civilian life afterwards as well. A lot of people who join the military end up leaving without being able to find a job, or still not knowing what to do with their life.

You can absolutely fuck with senior enlisted soldiers. Only ROTC LTs get wonky around senior enlisted Soldiers.

To me they are just funny.

That's awesome. My biggest concern is the running. I've been improving but I afraid I'm going to get to basic and be a total shit show.

Basic is a yellier version of summer camp.
If you're a functional human being you'll be fine. I though it was fun as fuck tbqh.
We had kids running 22 minute 2 miles when I went through.

Most of what you say is true Hanz.

But this part ...
>and use your officer comission to land any job you want without actually having to do very much.
mmmm not so much.

Was a nine year enlisted that earned a direct commission in the AF Reserve. Then about fourteen more as a zero.

Enlisted to officer career has some advantages.
I was able to beat topping out in either enlisted or officer at the 'up or out' point. There was policy at the time I was in that stipulated that if you didn't promote, you'd be separated.

> Three hots and a cot.

Nope...you have to pay rent for a room in the barracks and each meal in the chow hall.

> Everything you know is wrong.
> Go back and star again.

Yeah, that's still around. RCP.
It came down too, so it's a quicker out now.

It doesn't matter, I went to OSUT in terrible shape and still made it. It's a joke and you're gonna get fucked with and yelled at no matter what because that's just the show the drill sergeants have to put on every cycle.

>stupid
>retarded
>blames economy for two points above
>Autistic

Yup, the army is for you.

Why arent you 18F

Your movies tell me anything else is for faggots

>22 minute 2 miles
W-where the fuck did you do basic. Of we were anywhere under 16 MSGT kicked our asses

Up an out isnt really a thing in the Army Reserves. Its not that hard to be a reservist after you have been enlisted.

Your commission looks good for the civilian market. You will nearly always get a call back as long as your resume doesnt look like it was put together with a potato.

Being an officer in the AD military is stupid.

Ft. Sill.
We were half intel, then half bullshit MOS's like veterinarian food specialists, they they just didn't give a single fuck.
Uh, well, I don't wanna?

>joining before trump brings back massive bonuses
it's like you want to stay poor

What I mean to say is, as log as you are not a complete and total retard, you will promote.

Most units will hold on the the worst of the worst because pushing them out will hurt their UMR or is too difficult of a process.

Its not really a thing.

>OP) #

This is a good point.

This. I'm considering going back into the ANG for added retirement for my wife and I. But only if the money is right. I'm hoping the president elect will make it worth it to reenlist.

You lucky fuck, Fort Jackson was hell on Earth

Honestly I just miss Monterey. That was the most fun I think I've ever had in one single location in my life.
Korea is a close second tho.
If anyone in this thread is considering joining, do everything you can to get a language so you have a chance to chill at DLI for a year.

this sounds like fun

where do i sign up?

>join army
>get sent to korea
>enjoy waifus
do it

If you're going to join, don't be a pussy and do a combat related MOS. Anyone can do the other jobs outside of the Army, plus you can talk shit about all the fat POGs who do PT with their 10lb rucks filled with pillows in the morning.

t. 11B

I bet 100 bucks this guy is a tabless piece of shit.

This. Alot of women and minorities are POGs

Japan is a much better station
as long a you're not a minority you'll be appreciated and respected
Especially when China is chimping out

Ranger tab?

>Implying the Imperial Guard won't massacre ISIS like a steamroller

Don't pick a stupid job like infantry.

Make sure you score high on the ASVAB and pick a job that will translate into the civilian world when you are done.

You are a bit old, talk to a recruiter but it sucks that you didn't go in earlier since you could have done GI bill or an officers program

So long as you can pass the entry tests and physical. Sure!

Proud of you, user!

>britshit
>military

>Most units will hold on the the worst of the worst because pushing them out will hurt their UMR or is too difficult of a process.

My units were different. We pushed out the dead weight and non-performers. Got the authorizations and maintained about 110% manpower. We had our NCOs scouting for talent constantly, referring people they liked to work with to us for consideration.

Finance officer branches are hard to get.

You might be able to do it via ROTC, but it will likely increase the amount of time you have to stay in college. You will need to take some military science courses and then go to the field. The Army may not even pay for your entire grad program. It depends on the needs of the army.

OCS is an option. It is more physical than ROTC and it is shorter. They will treat you like crap and you will have to go to Basic Training first.

I think a lot of you guys aren't hard enough for the armed forces.
There is no real point in explaining that you will be bullied into oblivion.
Military is a chance for alphas to show how hard they can go.
If you are to afraid to ask out a girl in public, how the fuck are you going to survive years between ballshard sexually frustrated motherfuckers ?

That is a well functioning unit. My experience has been different so far.

Being in the Army Reserves in Germany is pretty much scrapping from the bottom of the barrel though.

IF you go in do it because you want to not because you feel like you have no choice. I fucking love guns working out and camping and whinny bitches that join because of COD or college money ruin it for everyone like me that geuniley wants to fuck shit up and be badass

Infantry is fun tough, you will be so depressed that you end up laughing about seagul noises and do 150 push up as punishment. Wish i was back

Been thinking about the ANG military police while im in college then USAF officers commision when I graqduate and making a career out of it, is it really that bad? and only 6 weeks of training? are you fucking seriosu?

Get paid less than minimum wage? dont do it

There is no reason to join the reserve before you get a degree. It may even make things harder for you, especially if try to go from the Army to the Air Force.

Just do your ROTC program and earn a comission.

being military police we had a the luxury of lots of local law enforcement to recruit from.
sheriff deputies, city cops, state troopers etc.
extremely professional people to work with.

we'd get young non prior service that couldn't hack the job once in a while, and for the most part we tried to get people like that reassigned to another career field to retain people.

That sounds pretty good.

>chill at DLI

Very few people I know we're chilling there, and the ones that were failed out. My time there was the most stressful 7 months of my life

Advice:

Go on Amazon and order an ASVAB prep book maybe $10. Go to Starbucks for 2 or 3 days, studying the living cr*p out of that thing.

Your score on that ~ 2 hr test has a HUUUGE influence on the type of jobs the Army will offer you.

I got the highest possible score and I had a totally open choice of jobs.

STRANGE: When sitting down for the digital PRE-TEST SIMULATION, deliberately screw up answering the questions --after your 3rd screw up an assistant comes over and does some stuff (they rig your test machine to give you the easy questions FIRST, which helps you in case u are the type to run out of time.

They'll be clear when you are sitting for the real test. Then, pull out all the stops and go nutso, answering for real.

I had other unfair advantages, like having made a very long hobby of collecting rare/weird vocabulary. I was also sort of a natural at math.

STUDY FOR IT --it helps a lot, even if you're a genius.

Meh didn't study for it. Hadn't been in college for 2 years. Got a 96. The asvab is retard proof