I am not even joking.
The Year of the Monkey ends January 27th and the Year of the Cock starts January 28th, 2017.
>tfw born between both years on the different calendars.
Good times are coming! Happy New Year!
Oh, and CNY AMA. If you know your animal and can tell me a little about yourself, I'll fortune tell for you, because I'm awesome at that shit.
What a great fucking 2016, and monkey year's not even done yet! What's next? Year of The Cock!
Other urls found in this thread:
chinesenewyears.info
youtu.be
twitter.com
Here are the Chinese zodiac animals broken down by year on the western calendar, but you need to check whether your birthday was before or after that year's Chinese New Year.
Lunar and Greggorian calendars you understand. It will totally fuck up your reading.
Some CNY birthdays. If you're outside this, you can check here: chinesenewyears.info
Monkey here. 2016 sucked for me personally. Horoscopes are bullshit
You take the ups with the downs. What do you want to know?
Except there were no ups last year. Maxbe if I was American or a Brit
Rabbit here
rabbit rabbit
tell me more chinaman
>People born in the Year of the Monkey are the erratic geniuses of the cycle. Clever, skilful, and flexible, they are remarkably inventive and original and can solve the most difficult problems with ease. There are few fields in which Monkey people wouldn't be successful but they have a disconcerting habit of being too agreeable. They want to do things now, and if they cannot get started immediately, they become discouraged and sometimes leave their projects. Although good at making decisions, they tend to look down on others. Having common sense, Monkey people have a deep desire for knowledge and have excellent memories. Monkey people are strong willed but their anger cools quickly. They are most compatible with the Dragon and Rat.
>People born in the Year of the Rabbit are articulate, talented, and ambitious. They are virtuous, reserved, and have excellent taste. Rabbit people are admired, trusted, and are often financially lucky. They are fond of gossip but are tactful and generally kind. Rabbit people seldom lose their temper. They are clever at business and being conscientious, never back out of a contract. They would make good gamblers for they have the uncanny gift of choosing the right thing. However, they seldom gamble, as they are conservative and wise. They are most compatible with those born in the years of the Sheep, Pig, and Dog.
>No ups last year
>Trump
>Rousey
Germanbro, what more could a monkey ask for?
Trump would be great for me if I was American. Now I'm happy for all the burgers but Germany is still fucked
year of the cock?
more like year of the cuck
haha lol
epic
trolled hard
Pig here
White guy, tall, trying to join air force
Plz tell me fortune
Will people finally accept race realism? btw what are your country's views on race?
Trump will Make Germany Great Again, just hopefully not so great you make the world an enemy again and it's a pretty close fight.
When you take on the whole world and it's a pretty close fight, it doesn't matter how based you are, you're going to lose.
When Trump makes you great again, hide your power level please.
Alright I'll bite. I'm a fire rabbit. Pretty introverted. Love animals. Recently stopped eating them. I really really really seriously love rice. It's the best food. My hair is dreadlocks and I am white. I haven't had sex in years and am pretty solitary which people seem to think is depressing but I'm actually pretty content for the most part. I just need a better job because tossing freight at shelves is keeping me in shape but I barely make enough to survive and can't have a life outside of work. My new years resolution is to either get a promotion to work days or find a new job so I can start participating in SCA events again. How's 2017 looking for me?
what is the fate of doggos?
If you're over 6 feet, you're not getting pilot if that's what you want. Score well in final selection, and you could get air navigator, unless you're already a licensed pilot with over 150 hours of flight time.
If not and you want it, work your ass off for navigator. If you don't make it to final selection and still want to join air force, your easy choices are Electrician (POET) or Military Police (MP).
You might want to consider other positions in the military, depending on how hard you want to push yourself. Search and Rescue maybe, but don't stay in till retirement.
I'm a boar/pig, I'm quiet and calculating, but when it comes to my mother my real self comes out and I tend to get mad/rash.
Other than that, like I said, I'm able to handle just about anything with a "smile" on my face.
You have to start getting serious. Man up.
Take it easy on the soy. You're probably substituting meat with tofu and that is a bad idea.
Get off the soy and get onto some white meats, pork or chicken. Fish and seafood are great too if you don't like red meat, but do go full soy.
Otherwise before you know it, we'll have to use special pronouns for you.
Clean yourself up with some new clothes before the end of this month, a clean shave and a nice clean haircut, and many doors will open for you.
As a rabbit you have unlimited potential, you just need to light that fire.
All the best. If you listen, you're going to do well I think.
>96
El Rato!
ty based fortune teller
Cock a doodle damn
Snake here. Am I a bottom dwelling piece of shit?
Water Rooster here. Aside from Trump and Brexit, I had a miserable 2016. Will things get better?
Ox me, sifu
>People born in the Year of the Pig are chivalrous and gallant. Whatever they do, they do with all their strength. For Boar Year people, there is no left or right and there is no retreat. They have tremendous fortitude and great honesty. They don’t make many friends but they make them for life, and anyone having a Boar Year friend is fortunate for they are extremely loyal. They don’t talk much but have a great thirst for knowledge. They study a great deal and are generally well informed. Boar people are quick tempered, yet they hate arguments and quarrelling. They are kind to their loved ones. No matter how bad problems seem to be, Boar people try to work them out, honestly if sometimes impulsively. They are most compatible with Rabbits and Sheep.
Hm. Very neat. Peace and love, user.
Goat here wanting to join the army and have a relationship with the Aryan qt I've been talking to what's up ?
Hit me up with a reading, 5'6", speak German, mostly German ethnically. Moved to a big city last week, taking online college classes.
I'm a fire tiger white brazilian, tell me my future oh great chink magician.
Water monkey. Worst year of my life. Mom died. Have a lot of responsibilities i am unsure i can manage. Taking care of my little sister and my own future as well as the whole asian family spiel. What do i dk xi fu?
forgot the personal details. Femanon, recent college graduate. Really want to quit going through the motions at my shitty millennial job soon and start a family. Feel trapped in loveless relationship. Have lots of good qualities, but have forgotten how to tap into them as of late.
>tfw no rabbit gf
c-can i have a lunar rabbit gf?
Sheep here. Born May 10, 1991.
I have an engineering degree and a wife with one daughter. My wife paid for me to get through college and now I am doing the same for her. I woke at a good company and make a good salary for my area. But as a level 1 engineer we are having trouble keeping afloat financially, we have no debt yet but I worry about skirting the edge of pay check to pay check. I also LOVE guns and am sad that I can only afford two...
Hit me with your best shot.
Fire ox here, just got done celebrating my birthday.
Birthday is much more important than year. Make sure you match up, yours needs to be after February 19th. If you were born earlier, you're a pig.
>People born in the Year of the Rat are noted for their charm and attraction for the opposite sex. They work hard to achieve their goals, acquire possessions, and are likely to be perfectionists. They are basically thrifty with money. Rat people are easily angered and love to gossip. Their ambitions are big, and they are usually very successful. They are most compatible with people born in the years of the Dragon, Monkey, and Ox.
Give me a sham marriage so I can move to Vermont and build an off the grid homestead. Or hook me up with an American girl that will.
>femanon
Ficki ficki tits for tots or gtfo
Wtf, I believe in the Chinese zodiac now
I do what I can. Good luck man. Are you looking for planes or a trade?
Officer or NCO?
Yeah, born after February
>charm with opposite sex
Nope
>thrifty with money
Checked, basically a Jew
>easily angered and love to gossip
Nope
>ambitions are big and usually very successful
I hope so
>tfw between the tora and the dora
Love you too man. Enjoy your rice, eat lots of veggies for sure, but sneak in a little meat here and there. You're going to need the energy.
I am betting you like seafood. Enjoy your vegetables, but eat things that had parents once in a while - birds and creatures from the sea are your best bet, but don't be afraid of a little ham, pork, or bacon once in a while to regain your energy.
Oh, and carrots. They're good for your eyes.
You sure you're rooster? I thought I was rooster for years, but then I found out I was monkey, born before Chinese New Year my year.
>People born in the Year of the Rooster are deep thinkers, capable, and talented. They like to be busy and are devoted beyond their capabilities and are deeply disappointed if they fail. People born in the Rooster Year are often a bit eccentric, and often have rather difficult relationship with others. They always think they are right and usually are! They frequently are loners and though they give the outward impression of being adventurous, they are timid. Rooster people’s emotions are like their fortunes, swing very high to very low. They can be selfish and too outspoken, but are always interesting and can be extremely brave. They are most compatible with Ox, Snake, and Dragon.
Alright then what can you tell me about next year?
>monkey
>tall
>few friends
>work here and there but make most of my money with burglaries and such
Well, Gee. Um, Golly. Some snakes are good people I guess? Play to your strengths bro. Play to your strengths.
>People born in the Year of the Snake are deep. They say little and possess great wisdom. They never have to worry about money; they are financially fortunate. Snake people are often quite vain, selfish, and a bit stingy. Yet they have tremendous sympathy for others and try to help those less fortunate. Snake people tend to overdo, since they have doubts about other people's judgment and prefer to rely on themselves. They are determined in whatever they do and hate to fail. Although calm on the surface, they are intense and passionate. Snake people are usually good-looking and sometimes have marital problems because they are fickle. They are most compatible with the Ox and Rooster.
It is your year coming. That could be fantastic or terrible. It really depends on your attitude.
With you saying 'Aside from Trump and Brexit' you had a miserable 2016, you really need to change your attitude.
Those were two of the most amazing things that will ever happen in your lifetime. If that doesn't do it for you, nothing will.
Take the good with the bad and be sure to have a positive attitude toward the future by the 27th of this month, which is when we come into your year.
Make The Year Of the Cock Great Again!
Do that and you'll be fine.
You sound like you're doing pretty damn well for yourself and don't need my help. Sick. Maybe you can do this next year.
>People born in the Year of Ram are elegant and highly accomplished in the arts. They seem to be, at first glance, better off than those born in the zodiac's other years. But ram year people are often shy, pessimistic, and puzzled about life. They are usually deeply religious, yet timid by nature. Sometimes clumsy in speech, they are always passionate about what they do and what they believe in. Ram people never have to worry about having the best in life for their abilities make money for them, and they are able to enjoy the creature comforts that they like. Ram people are wise, gentle, and compassionate. They are compatible with Rabbits, Pigs, and Horses.
>>tfw born between both years on the different calendars.
Same here. (Monkey/Rooster)
>Good times are coming!
I hope you're right...
This one's easy, you're short. If you ever learn what CNY animal your are, it won't make you taller unless you're too young to be on this board.
Danke
Be strong bro. Things are going to get a lot better. A lot better. Muito Bom!
>Tiger people are sensitive, given to deep thinking, capable of great sympathy. They can be extremely short-tempered, however. Other people have great respect for them, but sometimes tiger people come into conflict with older people or those in authority. Sometimes Tiger people cannot make up their minds, which can result in a poor, hasty decision or a sound decision arrived at too late. They are suspicious of others, but they are courageous and powerful. Tigers are most compatible with Horses, Dragons, and Dogs.
I thought the year of the monkey ended January 20th?
Dog here, whats my future like?
More info:
Early February. Designer by trade. Highly perverted. Sycophantic but at the same time huge fucking creative ego.
pls gib future ;_;
That's exactly why I made this thread.
Obama's done on the the 20th. Trump starts on the 20th.
The Year of the Monkey ends on the 28th. The Year of the Cock starts on the 28th.
This year of the cock is going to be sick! Pure fucking cock bro. Pure fucking cock.
>People born in the Year of the Dog possess the best traits of human nature. They have a deep sense of loyalty, are honest, and inspire other people’s confidence because they know how to keep secrets. But Dog People are somewhat selfish, terribly stubborn, and eccentric. They care little for wealth, yet somehow always seem to have money. They can be cold emotionally and sometimes distant at parties. They can find fault with many things and are noted for their sharp tongues. Dog people make good leaders. They are compatible with those born in the Years of the Horse, Tiger, and Rabbit.
>mfw monkeys are my favorite animals
>mfw 2016 is the best year ever
>mfw
it all makes sense
Exactly the same as me. I'm right.
Believe me. Believe me.
Dragon reporting in
get out
You're not out of the woods yet, and things will probably get worse before they get better. I'm sorry bro.
On the bright side, tough it out for a couple of years and you're going to meet your soul mate and have some of the best times of your life, in every way possible.
Remember these times when those times happen. Don't let it go to your head. What goes up must come down and vice versa.
Sorry man, and look forward to good things to come. That's going to happen almost for sure, beyond that is how you handle the ups and downs.
The downs are now, and the ups are coming. Keep a cool head.
Nice to get a dragon in here before I pass out. I fucking married one! Dragons and monkeys get on very well. Find a fucking monkey and you'll be happy for life.
>People born in the Year of the Dragon are healthy, energetic, excitable, short-tempered, and stubborn. They are also honest, sensitive, brave, and they inspire confidence and trust. Dragon people are the most eccentric of any in the eastern zodiac. They neither borrow money nor make flowery speeches, but they tend to be soft-hearted which sometimes gives others an advantage over them. They are compatible with Rats, Snakes, Monkeys, and Roosters.
I am dating a monkey!
Thank you, magic man. Looking forward to the Cockening. I'll put on a happy face for you and your wise words
My daughter falls into that territory. I wrote you a big long response but it was all warnings, because of the conflict of interest.
I can't give a clear reading on this, but I wish you luck, unless it's with my daughter.
Let's just say that would be front page bad news and why I didn't send the last message.
Kek. Best of luck, just don't touch my daughter.
>mfw snake
aww yisssss
As long as you're not in Ontario or British Columbia and you're serious, I think you're in for a very very good time.
You lucky bastard. Nice one.
What's wrong with Ontario and BC?
Water cock. Do i meet my financial goals?
Monkeys and dragons don't mix well there usually, especially if you both grew up in the same place.
Pay attention to the vibe if you were both born and bred in British Columbia or Ontario.
Dragons and Monkeys should be a match made in heaven. If there's conflict, tread carefully.
If things are going well, don't be afraid to jump ship. Follow your gut on this one.