How to use a Trump Hat

>start going to Mexican restaurants wearing a trump hat ~June 2016
>sit down and order like I'm going to eat there
>see contempt on the face of the staff and yet sit there defiantly
>every time the food comes to my table, I ask for a takeout box without eating a thing
>mail each takeout box to my older brother, who is a homicide forensics scientist
>after 3 months, a takeout box finally tests positive for saliva
>he sends it back to me
>cut up the food and spit on it a little and make it look like I ate some of it.
>send the takeout box to local health department with a letter detailing my suspicions
>health department asks if ate it any of it and then asks for a DNA swab after I say yes
>I give them my DNA
>health department closes down the restaurant about two months later
>health department issue subpoenas for DNA samples of everyone
>Health department DNA test results confirm that my saliva is on the food
>Health department DNA test results confirm that the OWNER'S saliva is on the food
>Health department DNA test results confirm that a shift manager's saliva is on the food
>Health department DNA test results confirm that two of the cooks and three of the waiters spit on it.
>sue the owner for $5,000,000
>owner settled out of court for $1,000,000 Wednesday in exchange for a non-disclosure agreement
>my fucking lawyer takes nearly half
>$582,463 deposited into my banking account

I'm only 18 and I'm pretty much set for life already.
I don't understand why you morons have such a difficult time moving out of your parents house. It's super easy.
Get on my level faggots.

Here's the proof you niggers.

>$582,463
>set for life

Probably shouldn't admit to it online tho m8, nicely done all the same

Nice blogpost you fucking drumpfshit.

Also, stop spamming this shit or post it on r the donald. You might get few upvotes.

I love how investing it never even crosses you mind
>he's probably going to blow it on Mountain Dew and strippers cause that's what I would do.
I haven't mentioned any names.

fucking hell mate, nice

also I need money to marry and start a family with my white gf. Do you need any novels ghost written?

437734896912

Nice try op

XoXo

>thinks investing $500k automatically means he's set for life
>keeps $500k in a single checking account

>I haven't mentioned any names.
you got specific enough to not need to

would you perhaps consider sparing a poor gyronigger in need of a computer 1000 bucks?

Did you ever think this was the reason your country has so much debt?

BTFO
T
F
O

>underaged larper gets exposed
>thinks health department is going to launch a full-scale investigation including swabbing, DNA tests, and on-site personnel because some spic spit in your 3 month old nachos

I like how he even tried to crumble the paper to make it look legit

I'm visiting LA in July. Should I wear a MAGA hat?

Very nimble!

I think the reason I am asking for money on a Hawaiian palm tree scripture board is exactly BECAUSE my country has so much debt.

They can urinate in your food like Taylor from Fight Club.

be VERY smart with that money OP. I came into money when I was 18 because my dad died. Got around 300k. Now there is only about 120k left. Good chunk is in investments but you would be surprised how life can catch you by surprise and suddenty you have fucktons of bills.

...

Do you lie because you think it's funny or because you want to impress strangers?

You could buy a flat in London and live there. The UK is a nice country.

>gets $500k
>brags about it on Sup Forums

yep looks legit.

I'm more impressed with the goy who shorted all that Chipotle stock after introducing e-coli at their Washington restaurant.

you're my hero. i would suck you right off

There's always that one Asperger's faggot who can't refrain from correcting everyone while he's at a party

i read the other posts. you're not my hero and i wouldn't touch your penis with a stick

Originally i was just gonna post the card # or what have you. But then got curious and googled the supposed bank. Step your game up casual.

Tata

hahaha the clever neet, congratulations, you baited them hard!!!

>Faggot LARPer gets BTFO
>God why can't you guys let me have my power fantasy >:^(

I love copy pasta.

The reason I love copy pasta is because posting it makes you mad. You. Yeah, that's right. You. You're my target. Your rage fulfils me. Yes, I've posted this before, and I'm going to post it again. And there is nothing you can do to stop me.

Not only am I going to post this over and over and over again, but other anons, seeing the rage posting this produces, are also going to post this. Especially our newfriends. Right now, newfriends are realizing that this actually does make you angry. They realize, like I do, that you think of Sup Forums as your own private little utopia that gets ruined when the common class stumbles upon it like oblivious tourists.

Well it isn't, you pretentious fuck. This forum is open to the public. It isn't yours. You're nothing special for frequently visiting this place. No one gives a shit that you've seen this before and in fact, they laugh at your grandiose opinion of what this place is. It's just a stupid image board. It's not even the first. Chris Poole originally created this place after frequently visiting Something Awful and consciously decided to make an English Futaba Channel. So basically, this entire image board is copypasta and you're just a whiny little faggot fuckwit for actually getting angry at complete strangers for failing to entertain you. Go fuck yourself. Then go give your mom another hug to compensate for her fat ass not getting any. It's the only way you know how to pay rent.