I saw Donald Trump at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any fake news infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
As he was getting ready to pay he made a big show about going through his wallet before he dramatically pulled out a wad of 100-dollar bills and flipped each individual bill back, sucking his teeth in an exasperated way and sighing really loud for each 100 until he came across a 20 and used it to pay. He then walked outside and did a little spin turn at the door he's a model or something, stepped into his limo and sat next to Melania. The last I saw was him snapping his fingers at Melania and motioning down to his crotch, her head lowering down and disappearing out of view as the limo sped off.
Christopher Gutierrez
>leaf
Sebastian Campbell
>leaf
Owen Martin
go write fan fiction for southpark you leaf fag canadian cuck
Dylan Bell
This was written by an American.
Asher Gray
I read this the other day here.
Jason Harris
You did indeed. It is a "copypasta"
Caleb Jenkins
ITT newfags
Josiah Rodriguez
Post this on Reddit they will upboat it to the top
Samuel Sanders
I know it's old pasta, still posted by a stupid leaf though.
Adrian Murphy
Somebody post the keanu reeves 9/11 survivor one
Luke Carter
In October 2001, Keanu Reeves met with the families of 9/11 victims. After a brief interview in which he expressed his condolences and hope for closure, he reportedly burst out laughing and made airplane noises and mimicked two planes crashing. He then picked up the child of a deceased victim and whispered into her ear "Your dad's dead, bitch", and proceeded to put on a pair of sunglasses and unleash a barrage of martial arts attack on the small child. She was rushed to the hospital where she was pronounced dead due to extreme trauma. When asked later about the incident, Reeves became visibly sexually aroused and repeated the same attack on the reporter.
Ethan Thomas
After completing the movie 'Speed', Reeves disappeared from public view for 6 months to complete a project he called his "life's calling". In August of 1995, Reeves gained notoriety for hijacking a school bus in Los Angeles and leading police on a 10 hour chase, ending in tragedy. Reeves, who appeared mentally disturbed and sporting a full beard, reportedly spent 6 months planning the hijacking. Due to the nature of the hijacking, police assumed it filming for a sequel to the Speed movie, and didn't respond until Reeves drove through a crowded marketplace, killing 16 and injuring over 100. Despite their best efforts, police were not able to stop Reeves, who drove the bus full of 44 elementary school children off the Santa Monica Pier. All the children died, and autopsies showed that all 44 had been molested by Reeves during the chase.
In 1991 during the filming for 'Point Break' Keanu Reeves (whose role involved playing rookie FBI agent 'Johnny Utah') was surfing with co-stars when a small child was dragged under the waves and began to struggle to stay above surface. As his co-stars rushed to help, Reeves held out an arm in front of them, stopping them and was reported saying by Lori Petty (who played the character Tyler Endicott in the film) "The waves have claimed her, let her fight for her own life". The crew, dumbfounded, proceeded to watch her struggle until her body disappeared beneath the waves, lifeless. He was later spotted outside the child's house, making drowning gestures and thanking the family for their child's sacrifice to the great ocean.
Ayden Flores
That's where he got it
Matthew Brooks
These posts slay me every time I see them. Now I know what you're thinking, that these are fucked up. Don't worry though, Sup Forums hates many things, but Keanu is not one of them. This is just done in good fun.
Levi Hill
of all the things that didn't happen, this is the one that didn't happen the most
Zachary Cooper
...
Aaron Edwards
Okay I admit it. This didn't happen.
Liam Cruz
>all these newfags coming out of the woodworks
Luis Nelson
leaf faggot
Sebastian Hill
That was hicock45 you dip
Alexander Williams
Gotta tell buzzfeed about thiis!!
Luke Carter
Obviously it was the same day you came here for the first time as well. >Faggotry of the new variety
Jacob Stewart
>I'm totally not a n-newfriend g-guise. Y-you believe me r-right guise?
Noah Moore
The fact that Trump goes himself to buy milky ways instead of letting his chaffer or some other guy buy for him is enough to tell you that this is 'real' news.
Jayden Peterson
It's not news.
Cameron Morales
really made me think
Joseph Cox
>Leaf posting this stale ass pasta
I preferred the one with Ian from Forgotten Weapons.