>Masturbating at work is a doctor-approved stress reliever
>Dr. Cliff Arnall agreed. “I would expect a masturbation policy to result in more focus, less aggression, higher productivity, and more smiling,”
> a recent survey by Time Out New York found 39 percent of male readers reported masturbating in the office
O.k. pervs, own up. Who here tosses one out during work?
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strawpoll.me
youtube.com
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>work
Uhhhh
We actually have Muslim prayer breaks (by law) here in Canada
So if you're a Muslim here, you get so many more free breaks and they can't fire you.
I work at an Amazon sort center. Too busy to far and if I were to...
ENERGY DEPLETED
>TO BUSY TO FAP CAN'T FAP NO FAP LIFE ESSENTIAL FLEETING.
I should go to bed.
I would fire anyone who was caught masturbating in the office.
Do that shit at home or on the lunchbreak, not when you're paid to work.
>Current year +2
>Not using your break to masturbate
This is why you didn't get that last promotion
Enjoy having unproductive employees.
You'll be out completed my company which has installed fully private toilet cubicles to encourage masturbation.
dude if your pulling it in the bathroom during lunch break i would still fire you.
You better believe it.
Already get paid to shit on company time, just go one step further and fake some bowel problems to take more frequent breaks and jerk off too.
Literally there is only two prayers during the day time, each take around 5 minutes to do. You can even combine the noon and afternoon prayers and literally bang them both out in like 7-8 minutes. By law you get more and longer breaks than that.
t. A Shia Muslim
I wish circumcisions were illegal. Be honest with me. How hot does it seem to think about uncut bros doing this. It's probably the first thing we think of. And then the cutlets just dribble out some shitty thick ejaculate on their fingers
>Someone saying to his colleague "Welp, I'm off to take a wank."
>lunchbreak
That wouldn't work out for me. I fap in the morning before going to work. But I'm not quite due for another fap by noon yet. But by 2PM I really am and have a hard time concentrating because of it. I guess I could force a fap at noon but it would take longer.
>private
You're doing it wrong, woman
This. I'm restoring
Why is it okay for doctors to come out with this degenerate bullshit
Yet it's not okay for doctors to admit simple facts about racial differences?
I wonder (((who))) could be behind this
>1 post by this ID
I know who we pissed off but this spam is getting really fucking annoying. sage this shit thread.
These posts prove why numerology is a sin and why the frog is shitty
>39 percent of male readers reported masturbating in the office
i take long breaks in the bathroom where i do a shit and some sudoku and stuff like that
do my co-workers think im masturbating?
Nobody cares. We're men. Do it at your desk and I'll blow ya. strawpoll.me
I did one time cause I kept popping boners all day and enough was enough
Hey tell me more about your prayers.
Do you guys say and chant the same shit each time? Why does it take so long? Is it like 50 Hail Marys where you just repeat the same shit over and over?
Hnng. How big are you?
ask your mom fag
i have never jerked off at work in 13 years of being in the work force. i've gone grocery shopping, gotten a haircut, had sex and my favorite, saw a movie on the clock while working at a pizza place. but never jerked off
Aaand you have been relegated to flicking the bean status. You wanna talk about yourself and then go all womany and hetero on me you closet fag? Cut it off.
New a janitor who would fap in the girls bathroom
ok fine ask your dad, he knows too
I have mega, body shivvering, quantum orgasms exvlosively during the Jewish Sabbath so by the time Monday rolls around I already have some of that nofap energy and the stress relief benefits were so intense that I only bother with the R&R once a week.
I have long transcended my sexual fetishes away from normie tastes. I cant get a boner from the bitches you see on pornhub. No, I have a rule that nothing can be 3DPD, and even typical hentai treads to close.
I have masterbated exclusively to furry porn for almost a decade now and successfully quarantined my former bicuriosity into impossible fantasy races of fuzzy femboys and silky smooth baras alongsidr scalie seductresses and cougar cougars.
At this rate I may ascend even further, gaining control over my sexual drive like a key in an ignition: never to be distraced by more puriant intrests clouding my judgrment in my social and work life.
Why, because you hoped my post would get the blessings of kek?
I hope that's what you mean
Ya I rub one out at work at least twice a day. I work in sales so it takes the edge off. I also wait to shit until I get to work.
I do this but I have wanked a couple times too
Yup exactly, I've only done it when I felt there was no alternative 2bh
sounds like a great way to catch a sexual harassment suit from some skeeved out office chick.
Academics have zero common sese, this is why we do't let them decide policy.
You're a fucking weirdo. Take your clit dick and go
>I have masterbated exclusively to furry porn for almost a decade now and successfully quarantined my former bicuriosity into impossible fantasy races of fuzzy femboys and silky smooth baras alongsidr scalie seductresses and cougar cougars.
kek is the god of chaos. what did you expect him to be reasonable
And wait for jizz leaking out of your dick? No thanks
>that soldier
>he's actually dying in the infirmary from head trauma
>this is just a dream, he's being pumped with morphine
>his thoughts in the dream:
"what the hell did you put in that morphine Jenkins?!"
fuck this gay world.
I can't fap if I know someone else knows I'm doing it. No way in hell I could rub one out at work.
canadians are weird
Nobody answered my penis poll. That is more important right now. I love hearing UK guys say "wank". It just SOUNDS like an uncutter fapping. Uncut makes noises. Without lube. Unlike cutlets. But I need a visual confirmation of the kinds of stories we're talking about here. Also. Cock sounds like circumcision. Dick like foreskin
At work? Isn't that, among other things, ILLEGAL?
Seriously though, why would you jerk off in a work bathroom? Or is this supposed to be the new watercooler activity?
"Hey Jim, how's it going? Me? Oh I'm just rubbing one out here."
These are more weird
What do you mean? Also
>he doesn't pressure wash the ceiling
Best goy
It's illegal to try and spy on people doing literally whatever they want in any bathrooms. Prudes are shit
When I was pulling 10 hour days during my grad school lab stuff, if I was in late, I'd knock a good one off and eat some buffalo wild wings ~11 p.m.
no. they think youre just fucking around on your phone.
he means that it takes a while for the last couple drops of cum to drip out your dick.
most guys squeeze their dick like a tube of toothpaste when there done to hurry it along but it still takes like 10 minutes
>chant the same shit each time
This is your answer.
>I need a visual confirmation of the kinds of stories we're talking about here. Also. Cock sounds like circumcision. Dick like foreskin
British "manly man" detected, where do I d/l the canadian vpl?
>girlish squealing by Britcuck pussies erupts
What a nightmare. No wonder some death grip and require face creams made out of foreskins. What is your excuse for not restoring? It should shoot out of you like a 19 year old. If you're too lazy to restore at least use a bathmate or do the grail of cum
Go to the soft dick thread on /soc/. I haven't posted myself in that one as I have once before already. And you can add me to kik
All. The. Time.
restoring? what is that?
One time during many circle jerks this one guy tried to block himself with toilet paper and blew the fuck right through it anyways
wait what am i doing this whole thread is gay. fuck you guys im leaving
"TLC tugger". "Canister foreskin restoration method". Those are the two best devices for this. It is an ancient practice. The foreskin has ability to regenerate itself if you do it a certain way
Hawt
Suit yourself. Cripes. For all the things people say about fearful "womany" fags; look at this shit. You'd rather have a wood cock than improve your own masculinity? Women fucked us all over
>tfw have my own office
heh
Wtf is with all those private life regulations? Cant i fcking do what i want without people fcking telling me what to do? Fcking shit dude i dont know why this is triggering me so mich but man that guy has some nervs
>originally posted by news.com.au
good try aussie, move along.
What is this shit?
I've done it a few times, but it's not a habit.
I work with children....
At a school.
Yeah....
Can you imagine if I fapped during my break.
This Dr. is an idiot.
Fapping is to be done in the privacy of your home.
Bottom line.
Checked
>not fapping on the children
What kind of teacher are you?
Am I the only one offended at the thought of having to clean up a non-white's fap mess when it's my turn to take a break? They aren't known for cleanliness or attention to detail.
you need to leave
>prayer break
>smoke break
>food break
>jerk break
>break break
Sounds like no work and more money
>Do you guys say and chant the same shit each time?
yes
No you don't you shitposting lying piece of fucking trash
Someone get the rake
work places would never allow it because women wouldn't be able to use that break. They would abuse it by taking too long to climax or be unable to climax at all and want it banned for being unfair to women. In addition, women don't even like having sex.
Toronto?
can i get a doctor's order to have that redhead from accounting bend over and stretch to help me relieve stress?
Women don't cum they piss
I just realized I haven't jacked off in exactly two weeks.
Which porn shall I explode to, lads?
Not even close. Also; where is the breast-sizes city?
>Some guy jerks off at work
>Gets really pissed off and runs outsie
>Finds a turtle and throws it against the wall
>Comes back in
It does not make people less aggressive.
"Public empty lot" on pornhub. "Two drunk french straight guys" on pornhub. There is also a noice video of a cutlet doing exactly what we are talking about but I can't find it
Ive slammed the sausage at work off the clock
You need to quit for a while you've become too desensitized
Lolis
tubgirl get
>"Dr. Cliff Arnall agreed. “I would expect a masturbation policy to result in more focus, less aggression, higher productivity, and more smiling,”
Dude what, who the fuck gets "less aggressive" and "More smiling" after jerking it off?
I just return to my usual fucking self right after, there's literally no difference. I'm still the same unhappy low energy cunt i was before.
You don't have foreskin do you. And think about it. We're not talking about fat neets. Work is stressful. I dont advocate this but I also don't care like a woman would. If this were ok at work it would really change our days. People accept all sorts of new ideas for work productivity. But dont you dare be a man and enjoy maleness
(((who))) could be behind this degenerate bullshit ?
You are crazy.
It's bad enough being a white male as a teacher (because 98% of my co-workers are women, including the Teacher's aides).
As it is, the other women give me questionable looks like if they don't trust me.
I am literally one of the only males to work with Early Childhood children.
The other one is the Director of the School.
That's it.
Go with trannies.
Oy vey goyim, yes! Masturbate at work! Be a good goy and watch porn with nice white girls being fucked by Mexicans and blacks! Look at that big black cock, goyim. Don't you wish you could please women like that? Heh, shame you're just a schmuck, goy. The only thing you have left is to look at superior black cocks pleasing women like you never will because you're stuck in this wagecuck job. Don't take too long though, you still have to make me some shekels you silly goy
I did once when I was 15, working at a department store and I couldn't get rid of my boner. Felt too gross/guilty, didn't do it again
Office workers are degenerates
Tradie master race.
This board's number one speciality is killing and destroying men and masculinity. Nofap gives you cancer. Hating on weed that is found in ALL breastmilk? Cancer. Hating on nicotine? A vitamin? Cancer. Endorsing zionist pissbeds? Cancer. Endorsing the "Shekinah hoax"? Cancer. Endorsing "Platonic Complementarity"? Cancer. Wake up from your Eve spells. NOW!
i knew i heard this somewhere before
youtube.com
fuckin jews
>psykikes pushing even more degeneracy making people think it's an essential need for MUH DICK MUH CUM
fuck off
This is going to be big
>more focus
>higher productivity
>from fapping
Is this a joke? You get mellow as fuck afterwards.
Yeah I know man, I get it. I understand how stacked the public schooling system is against males, White males at that. I'm just joshing you.
Fuck off
Hot
>the stink
I'm looking at you, Stacey
Mellow>stressbag