PRODUCER FOR FOX NEWS HERE / AMA

Hey guys, I just got on duty for the overnight desk at Fox News in NYC. I basically am in charge of the font and overlay on the news' channel. The stuff you see on your television sets.

Basically, I am sort of tired of this job and can't wait to quit soon for another job. I want to add something funny to the ticker below that scrolls across the screen.

Give me something to post on there and I'll edit the ticker feeds around 1:28AM EST, after the 3rd commercial break of the hour. Nothing obscene or incredibly racist, otherwise they'll call the desk and figure out who edited it via our credentials. By that I mean don't have me edit in "42 niggers shot and killed in Chicago today" instead word it as "42 Afrikan Amerikans began a shooting spree wounding each other, white people are to blame for not stepping in and saving the minorities from self-extinction"

Not sure if you want to do a trips method, or whatever, but anything juicy and I'll throw it in. If there is tons of funnies I'll just run it continuously until the real Fox News ticker feed hits it.

Give me your best.

nothing wrong with a classic

gas the bikes, race war now

"Will Trump and Putin start the next crusade? You decide! Visit Sup Forums.org/pol/

This one I'll add toward the end, as a finale
I'll throw this in, and edit the ending as 'visit the Chonz via politically incorrect for the daily redpill"

Have you ever danced with the devil by the pale moonlight?

You absolutely have to screencap it, I need to go to bed soon

Also, how about this quote?

I'd like to see some bare chick feet.....maybe do flip flop fridays

Kek sighting panics 700 students in Toronto

Local man gets trips, Sup Forums goes nuts!

Mexican bisexual Jewish barista attacked by white supremacists in NYC

International leaders to vote on the state of Israel this coming week... Deus Vult intensifies

do you ever get physically close to Rupert Murdoch? Could you stab him in the heart with a steak knife for me? It would really be doing the country a great service to rid us all of this degenerate pervert and enemy of humanity and democracy. That he should die a peaceful death after all the hatred he has sown is a crime against nature.

Drumpf BTFO, How will he ever recover?

Chicken that escaped from KFC, saved after it swam into the middle of a body of water.

Find a way to phrase it better if you'd like to. You're the one with the fancy pants word editing job.

I'll keep an eye out on TV for your edit.

4channers ask themselves "Who is Benjamin Fischbein?"

local man gets repeating integers

Local fish in great mood today

>The day of the rake draws near
Or something similar please

"Blame Canada", claims Trump

"Doland Trump: WHITES ARE THE BESTS"

More fake news, after these messages...

Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Heres Tom with the Weather.

"VA accepts applications from veterans of the Great Meme War."

>Visit Sup Forums.org/pol/

Fucking Kike

Veterans of the Great Meme War 2016 will be granted veterans benefits, according to Trump

Is there a stream?

"Poon fetish on the rise as the demand for latex gloves increases"

wasted digits

He cant do 'Fucking Kike'

Berenstain?

Don't do that, instead just drop a redpill

heres one, "m-Seq"

Kek is love kek is life

Maybe something like

Breaking News: Trump, Putin and Farage sign groundbreaking treaty to remove all kebab, Full story at boards.Sup Forums.org/pol/

scrappy doo found dead in miami

where's your Proof. We had too many larpers

What does Megyn's pussy smell like?

This just in, donald drumpf seen squatting in a full adidas jumpsuit outside of moscow screaming CYKA BLYAT

>
>scrappy doo found dead in miami
Yaaaassss

RIGHT? You hate em too right?

You newfags know this is a pasta right? This same shit was done throughout the year with people LARPing as that one girl from fox 10 pheonix or some shit

sage

"chicago police force cracked down on nut busting gangs, 4 arrested"

WINAR

Active manhunt underway for the notorious Sam Hyde. How does he keep getting away with this?

JEWS CONTROL ISRAEL

I don't care what you type, user, as long as you can work in the phrase "the elite hacker known as 4 Chang" or something to that effect.

Who is this four-chan? Infamous hacker from the deep web said to be behind Russian hacking of 2016 elections

>I want Kimberly Guilfoyle to dominate me :3

>777777777777 Shadilay
do it and I'll lick Kimberly Guilfoyle's butthole.

And if she wants I'll just lick her clit during makeup, just because.

Trump planning to sue CNN over "pissgate" scandal

shhhh, dont tell them! you'll ruin the Christmas spirit!

why does billy o'rally see at two different directions at the same time?

Breaking now: All mainstream media is Fake News! Courtesy of SHADILAY

If the thread doesn't 404 by that time then I will link one of the YouTube channels that streams us (lmao by the way the executives HATE those YT channels that do because it takes $ away from them, git gud) here. I will keep your quote on standby.

I'll throw this in
kek, this goes in
ehh
He has never bothered to ever ask the night crews working whether we are happy or not with our jobs, hence why I'm doing this for the lulz
"Chicken that escaped KFC rescued heroically by African Americans in the area, no word as of yet on the condition of the chicken as of yet, feared missing"
this for sure
Right before going to commercial I'll throw in those BOLD LETTERS on the main screen
"The day of the rake is near, Tredeau blames Trump ... Trump blames Canada
"DJT on color "I think white is the purest colors, I choose black on my aircraft because its simply a workhorse""
this made me laugh, it's certainly going up front
lol this is getting entered
checked and some dudes have told me when they've cleaned her studio after her show that her seat smells like moldy cheese and fish, really makes you think but I'll add that in, of course I'll word pussy as cat
it's fake news
not larping, later on I'll post a few pics of some of the night hosts for coffee
JEWS CONTROL THE US
she's hot, but I can't name any current hosts who are working or may be awake since they'd recognize their name
He wears contacts since he's cockeyed

Fun to come up with news bar headlines anyways desu senpai

an oldie but a goodie

sick git

Hey Rabbi....Watcha Doin????"

We are of one mind

Huge explosion in Chicago. Nothing of value was lost.

Please be real here is my quote.
"Local kebab salesman gets his repeating integers stolen by an Israeli in Tel Aviv. More on this will be reported by our new anchor chaos frog god kek, creater of controversy online meme pepe the frog."

"Hillary Clinton declares that she will run in 2020. Trump responds with hearty laughter."

>"BREAKING: 9/11 Caused by Islamaphobia"

That would make me short a fuse.

quote from man stabbed
"what are you gonna do, stab me?"

OP here by the way I am going to do this on my black coworkers computer if time allows me to do so since the idiot is a coffee addict and secretly doesn't like Trump

Why are all people and liberals in NY coffee addicts?

this may get entered
this is gonna get entered but I feel as if we may have to vote on the best entries soon since the ticker and everything added may run for 6 minutes at this rate

Has to be under 7 minutes - unless everyone is willing to wait and let it go into the next segment after the 4th commercial break of the hour

"millions of middle class white americans begin riding the neon tiger, RWDS eminent"

Just write
Pepeeeeeeee!

we all knew she had to have a stinky vag

It Has Been 205,854 Days Since the Fall of Constantinople

Deus Vult

Local man: Pope Urban II clearly did nothing wrong

use something from the fashy threads.

"8 years of good memes ahead of us, praise kek."

Seen this exact thread before

Sage this shit

hehe you may have to check the channel for this one, I like it
the security at the facility caught her scissoring a guest in the bathroom, she smelled TERRIBLE - one of the main reasons she is leaving Fox for another organization

It isn't sage worthy when I can provide proof, later in the thread and as zero hour closes in I'll throw up my press credentials

amy schumer arrested trying to illegally cross into Canada, just kidding she is still here and fat as ever.

Please start with this one, it really deserves to be shown and you might get taken out before you are able to deliver it otherwise, it is funny as fuck biting social commentary / 10

way ahead of you, I know the goys here will blow a fuse but I'm going to do all this without breaking rules 1 & 2

green text?

i want a stink vag story

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

I call bullshit. I've seen this exact same thread before
>I'm from Fox
>I hate my job, so rather than quit I want to get fired and ruin my chances at getting another job with a recommendation
>I'm going to post something on national television that might get me a fine from the FCC

Bullshit. Sage

Still taking suggestions?
Praise Kek

This is happening at half past six in the morning for me, will try to find it on youtube after, too bad lad, DELIVER

Alec Baldwin announces plans to adopt 100 refugees and will allow them to live at his mansion and sleep with his wife.

Your crazy scheme to get more viewers worked. I just recorded it.
Your promotion is in the bag.

Hope you deliver but I am not holding my breath

Tfw all these headlines will get on the buzzfeed desk as "dossiers".

Chlorine in drinking water causes obesity.

Michael Brown "dindu nuffin" thousands protest

Just put something simple "".

Nuclear missiles launched by Iran heading for Israel!

"new study in Nigeria finds soda cures leukemia, other cancers studied"

>show ends
>a staff member needs her credentials to log into their PC
>no one can find her - SHE WAS JUST HERE
>place a call to security on the ground floor to ensure she doesn't leave
>security hasn't seen her
>security does a sweep of the bathrooms
>she is in a green room with her previous guest she had on the show
>lipstick everywhere / bodily fluids on the sofas
>security goes WTF
>security loses his job after writing a report about it
>Megyn forever BTFO
>Bill learned about it and keks while drinking with his friends and producers from show

Kill yourself idiot, first I'm hearing about someone impersonating my job, who would want to do that

Checking my own digits

...

"Katherine Timpf sex tape leaked"

I'm all ears

Most of the livestreams on YouTube are linked to the channels streaming them

Wouldn't expect anyone to hold their breathe, as they may die without breathing
This is my goal
Ooo a good one
KEK how did I miss this one

super yeet street

Kill myself? Edgy. You have a lot of free time to be dicking around on Sup Forums for someone at work.

>who would want to do that?
Methinks the lady doth protest too much

Its reel palendrome hours niggas