Be American under Trump presidency

>Be American under Trump presidency
>Newly married to perfect conservative waifu
>Have morning coffee and turn on non-kike-infested news
>"BREAKING: PRESIDENT TRUMP SIGNS EXECUTIVE ORDER ESTABLISHING PRESIDENTIAL PRIMA NOCTA POLICY EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY"
>Hear knock at door
>Answer door with wife to find The Donald himself, flanked by secret service, at your door
>He unzips his fly
>"I hear a recent wedding needs my official blessing. Are you ready to do your patriotic duty?" He says to your wife

What do?

>Conservative
>feeds you caffeine
Your wife is trying to kill you

>Autistic screeching

hilarious op this better not be copy pasta

JUS
PRIMAE
NOCTIS
fuck you now I want to watch braveheart again

Caffeine increases lifespan silly leaf

Caffeine is a drug
Go to bed naturally at 10pm
And wake up naturally at 5am
That's how the white man does it

The white man literally conquered the world to get cheap, easy access to caffeine. Their conquest was fueled by tea and coffee.

Tea isn't caffeine

Let him fuck my wife while I toss his salad

>Tea
A leaf talking about leaves.
Tea contains decent amounts of caffeine.

It's no Red Bull, but it's there.

Tea is like half the caffeine of coffee who cares?
I drink about 8 cups of tea a day don't tell me I don't know about tea nigger

So you drink four cups of coffee worth of caffeine?

You and wife both say....I guess so...he tells you "Good. Bend over."

Shoot him dead
Texas says hi
Pence will be a fine president

>Not consecrating on your wedding night

witnessed.

No I was making up numbers it's more like 1 cup but I need it to support Canadian culture becuase euro niggers and chinaman drink coffee

I am literally shaking right now.

Not to mention spices. Makes you wonder of the power of food.

I hope he appreciates my wife's penis as much as I do.

Black tea most certainly does
You think Europeans cranks that shit regularly for the taste?

I don't care about Euro homos I'm an Anglo

Power of consumerism, first just for nobles who own resources and fleets, then for the masses who discovered their own power in numbers only to give it up for that sweet sugar, caffeine and seasoned food

I accept the piss of my God-Emperor Amen
In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti

The English count as Anglos, yes?

English aren't Euro homos

>Open robe
>Unzip dick
>Shower him in asparagus stank pee

>Prima nocta is getting pissed on
Oh, user...

Wait so my wife gets to fuck the president and I get to use that as argument leverage for eternity.

Bad leverage, she was serving her country

tell bill clinton he finally got the costume down

>using how big of a cuck you are as leverage
wew lad

"Tfw no gf"