Politically incorrect jokes

How do you get a gay man to have sex with a woman?
[spoiler]shit in her cunt.[/spoiler]

Gimme your best, anons.
While there's still time, cause we all know many comedians are getting more and more cucked by the day, and people these days seem to be more sensitive than ever.

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tinychat
twitter.com/AnonBabble

how long does it take for a black woman to take a shit?
9 months

Where's the best place to hide something from a nigger?
In their work boots!
>tfw I saw that on Sup Forums a decade ago

How many Jews can you fit into the car?

Five: Two in the front, three in the back, and none in the ash tray because the Holocaust never happened.

Similar to a favorite of mine
>How do you starve a nigger?
>Hide his food stamps under his work boots

how does a gay man remove his condom
he farts

I like it.

The most common version I hear is "How do you starve a nigger to death? Put his food stamps in his workboots."

What's the difference between a nigger and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

How do you know a black woman is pregnant? The tampon comes out picked clean.

Why is aspirin white?
It fucking works.

How do you get 50 Jews in a Volkswagen?
Put 'em in the ashtray.

How do you start a parade in Harlem?
Roll a 40 down the street.

What do you call a bunch of niggers buried up to their necks?
Afroturf.

What do you call a black woman that gets an abortion?
A crimestopper.

An indian on the side of the road looks across the street where he sees this white guy.

Every time the white guy sees a hot girl walking by he goes up to her and whispers something in her ear, and she either walks away smiling or she goes into the bushes with him for 20 minutes or so.

After a couple of times, the indian has just got to know what is going on so he goes across and asks the white guy what's up.

Whitey replies "Whenever I see a good-looking girl, I lean in and whisper in her ear 'Tickle your pussy with a feather'. If she likes it, off we go. If she gets offended, and demands an explanation, I reply 'Particularly nice weather' and she walks away smiling".

"Fuck that's easy I can do that," said the indian.

So off he went until he saw a hot girl, he walked up to her and said, "Poke your pussy with a stick?"

"WHAT?!?" she yelled.

He replied, "Looks like rain..."

Damn I remember most of these from when I was a late 2000s Sup Forumstard edgelord too.
It was a simpler time.

Did you know copper wire was invented by the jews?
It began in a fight over a penny....

A man walks into a doctors office
>doctor, I would like some birth control pills for my six year old daughter
The doctor replies
>your six year old daughter is sexually active!?!
The man answers
>Active?!? Hell no, she just lays there and cries.

holy crap i wish i was in the UK so i could trigger some dudes.

What's purple, orange, blue and hanging from a tree?

It's my nigger I'll paint it whatever colour I want.

A plane is flying over the ocean when it starts having engine problems. The pilots decide they have to jettison the cargo. They keep losing altitude. So they decide some passengers are going to have to be dropped over the ocean to reduce weight. They decide to go alphabetically when choosing who gets kicked off. The captain gets on the intercom and says
"African Americans, any African Americans?"
No answer
"Black's, do we have any blacks?"
Nothing
"Coloreds, any coloreds?"
A little black girl says "mommy I thought we were supposed to be proud of our heritage" mom says "fuck that we're niggers today!"

Whats the difference between rape and extortion?

The way you spell "mail"

What do you do with 6 dead niggers in your backyard?
>stop laughing and reload

Difference between a nigger and a tire?
>tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it

What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
>I don't cum in a sandwich before I eat it

I hate myself for knowing the last one.

what runs faster than a gypsy with a tv ?
>his brother with the PS4

I was walking down the street when I saw a nigger carrying a large TV. I thought to myself "that looks a lot like mine!" But I realized that mine was actually at home...shining my shoes

I like the cut of your jib user.

I like this one

los simuladores papaaaaaa

>How do you keep niggers away from your house?
Hang one from the tree in your front yard

>Why don't blacks celebrate Thanksgiving?
KFC isn't open on the holidays

>Why do niggers smell so bad?
So blind people can hate them too

>A Mexican, a nigger, and a Jew all jump off a bridge. Who wins?
Society

>How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?
Zero

>What do you call a black priest?
Holy shit

I chinese man walks into a bar. He goes to sit down and notices a very drunk jewish man making a ruckus. The jewish man approaches the chinese man and instantly punches him in the face.
The chinese man asks, "hey, what the hell what was that for?"
The jewish man says, "That was for pearl harbor."
The chinese guy, confused, says, "what? That was the japanese."
"Japanese, chinese, koreanese, it's all the same to me," says the jewish man before walking away.
The chinese guy drinks more and more that night and eventually finds himself drunk. He sees the very same jewish man from earlier across the bar and decides to approach him and punches him in the face.
The jewish man exclaims, "ow, what the hell was that for?"
The chinese man says, "that was for the titanic."
"The titanic?" the jewish man asks. "That was an iceberg."
"Iceberg, bloomberg, goldberg, it's all the same to me.

COME UP WITH YOUR OWN SHIT FAGGOT

upper percentile kek lad

Some WalMarts here have a halal section. The stores in the Detroit area almost all have halal products. fucking ragheads.

...

Trips of Truth

Why aren't their any Puerto Ricans in Star Trek? Because they don't work in the future either.

>how do you make a little boy cry twice?
Wipe your bloody dick on his teddy bear
>who are the fastest readers in the world?
The 9/11 jumpers, they went through 110 stories in 5 seconds
>what's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair
>what's the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in

Pickup line
>ayy girl, are you and elementary school? Cuz I wanna shoot kids inside you

What's the difference between Batman and a black man?

Sometimes Batman goes out at night without Robin.

fucking kek

Itt: retards remember what they saw on sickipedia and niggermania


How quaint.

My flatmate is with me reading this. He's said he'd love to see you say these jokes out loud in his presence. To be fair, he's got fuckin big arms and doesn't even lift. Good genes in that nigg

Nice.

>Did you hear about the rabbi who got a job circumsizing elephants?

The pay was terrible but he got some big tips.

>To be fair, he's got fuckin big arms and doesn't even lift. Good genes in that nigg

Your wife must love him what's the prep work like on that bull?

Did you hear about the short sighted Rabbi?

He got the sack!

Tell him from us he's a worthless nigger and if it wasn't for the white man he'd be slurping water from a muddy puddle and eating bugs back in Africa... and he knows it.

how do you get a fat bird into bed?

piece of cake!

How do kikes celebrate Christmas?

They put a parking meter on the roof.

I don't actually get this joke.

how do you get 4 puffs on a stool?
turn it upside down
how do you get a gay guy to sleep with your wife?
shit in her cunt

...

That's cos it got lost in translation

A Canadian walks into a pet shop to buy a dog. The shopkeeper rings it through the till and says 'don't forget to use a condom'.

when is a white NBA point guard a good Idea

when your sister says she's dating a point guard

whats black and brown and looks good on a nigger? A rottweiler
whats yellow and red and looks good on a nigger?
Fire

I'm pretty sure beastiality is only legal if the dog is doing the fucking. I remember reading somewhere that a human penetrating an animal isn't legal.

Jesus Christ, are these jokes edgy now? Are our children so sheltered they don't see this shit anymore?

That said

What do apples and niggers have in common?
>both look good hangin' from a tree

What do you say if you see your TV lift up and start floating away in the middle of the night?
>"DROP IT NIGGER!"

What do you call a group of white people runing down a hill?
>Avalanche

What do you call a group of Mexicans running down a hill?
>Mudslide

What do you call a group of Black people running down a hill?
>Jailbreak

What did God say when he made the first nigger?
>SHIT! I burnt one!

How do you get a nigger to commit suicide?
>Have him stick his head out the window of a moving car so he's beaten to death by his lips.

How do you get a one-armed Polack out of a tree? You wave at him.

A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain in his anus. After the examination the doctor asks if he's gay, he says no but my room mate is.

A man goes to the doctor to get a cat removed from his anus. The doctor asks him why there's a cat in his anus. He says to get the hamster out.

A couple goes to a fancy Asian diner. They're one of those couples who bring their fancy poodle dog everywhere. They ask the waitress if she can take it to the back room while they eat. Later the waitress brings them their dinner and it's absolutely delicious. The husband is about to go pay the check when the waitress brings him the collar.

> what's left of a Nigger if you burn him?
The chains.

>a Jew, Muslim and nigger walk into a bar

>the bar Man says "get the fuck out"

what?

this one is much better told in person

The USA is a Jew friendly country except some loonies who are scapegoating them.

lol fuck off kike

It's 3:40 in London, why don't you sleep, chav?

I'm a good goy, I tell my Jewish masters to punish you.

its 3.45 in monmouth and im in work

Reminds me of this one

>a man walks into an Asian restaurant and yells "Hey you!"

>Half the people turn around and look at him.

>Another man then yells "Who me?"

>the other half of the restaurant turns around

damn, reminds me of old school Sup Forums about 8/9 y/a

underrated as fuck

Statistically speaking 9/10 people enjoy gang rape

I glad to read that you historically don't like faggots. I don't understand how come you became so brainwashed that you started tolerate faggotry even on Sup Forums. Faggots are disease.

I was hanging with my boss earlier today and he said he saw a meme like this and thought of me: funny because I would do shit like this to fuck with kebabs and for no rEason we get along pretty well.

Q: what is the difference between a faggot and a fridge?

A: The fridge doesn't fart when you pull the meat out

Perhaps this thread was, in part, was meant as social commentary on the rapid decline of sexism and racism in comedy in favor of more politically correct "jokes" and ethical rants so nobody's feelings get hurt.

Q:What do Nike and the KKK have in common?

A:They both make niggers run faster

...

A black woman has 5 sons
She names all her sons Tyrone. How does she tell them apart?

Calls them by their last name

>implying she knows their respective fathers

Nice

A nigger wants to get surgery to become white, he finds a ghetto doc and proceeds to the surgery.
Doc : sorry mate the surgery went wrong, I mistakenly shortened you by a foot, cut your penis in half , is that ok ?
Nigger : si

What do you call a black priest?

Holy shit

...

...

Why doesn't Algeria have a swim team?

Because everyone who could swim made it to France.

Me: Can I smell your pussy...?

Woman: NO

Me: Oh, it must be your feet then...

What is the easiest way to get to a baby's heart?
>Raping him
Wew, le edge XD!!1!

Why did Jews wondered in the desert for 40 years. One of them lost some change.

What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe?

A Canoe might tip.

3 squaws are picking carrots in the Garden.

1st one pulls out a 5 inch carrot. "this is just like my husbands cock" They all giggle

2nd one pulls a 7" carrot out "this one is just like my husbands cock" they giggle again

3rd one pulls out a 12" carrot "this is just like my husbands cock"
the other one exclaims "that big?!"

"no, that dirty"

why are niggers palms so light

from being on the police car so often

What's the difference between a nigger and a dog turd?

After a while the dog turd turns white and stops stinking.

What do you call a five-person black gangbang?
>a threesome

What's white on top and black on the bottom?
>society

How do you sit indian style?
>facedown in the gutter

Why don't Mexicans and black people have kids?
>they're afraid their kids will be too lazy to steal

What's the difference between a black man and a couch?
>a couch can support a family

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
>AIDS

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
>trick question, feminists can't change anything

Why are there only two pallbearers at a black persons funeral?
>there are only 2 handles on a trash can

What's the difference between a jew and a boy scout?
>a boy scout returns from camp

What's the difference between a jew and Santa?
>Santa goes *down* the chimney

So a pedophile and a small boy walk into the woods. It's the dead of night, and the woods are dense and dark. As they walk further the woods get denser and darker, terrifying the boy. Eventually, the boy turns to the pedophile and says "gee, these woods sure are scary, aren't they mister?"

To which the pedophile replies "You're telling me, I've got to walk back alone."

You realize it's definitely a store employee doing it to get free food to take home, right?

What's the difference between Andrew Jackson and Jack Daniels?
>Jack Daniels is still killing Indians

tinychat com/gushy30190

HWNDU chat, need more anons

>What do you call a five-person black gangbang?
>>a threesome

I like the cut of your hair

Sup Forums ate my damn image

This is the first time I literally lol'd an off color joke in years.

>my flatmate
Cake boy.

Plot twist, boy rapes him

...

(you)

m8 I told the chinese man jewish man joke at 2 parties this weekend and got tons of laughs

hey guys look, it's an internet tough guy.

Why do niggers always have sex on their minds?

Because they've got pubes on their heads!

What do niggers do after sex?

Fifteen to life!

Why do niggers cry during sex?

The mace!