A Day in the Life of a Libertarian

>Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first swallow of water, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to ensure their safety and that they work as advertised.

>All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance -- now Joe gets it, too.

>He prepares his morning breakfast: bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

>In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.

>Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for the laws to stop industries from polluting our air.

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>He walks on the government-provided sidewalk to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

>Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe's employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to call the union.

>If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get a worker compensation or unemployment checks because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

>It is noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.

>Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime. Joe also forgets that in addition to his federally subsidized student loans, he attended a state funded university.

joe doesn't exist

>Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards to go along with the taxpayer funded roads.

>He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans.

>The house didn't have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.

>He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to.

>Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that the beloved conservatives have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day.

>Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have."

sage
ultimate strawman
or should I say leafman

why is Joe wearing his suit in the pool?

>when you have no counter argument and run away
>oh wait you can't run burgerclap

>(((Coffee)))
>(((medications)))
>american meat is safe and healthy
>using shampoo without testing it on fish first to see if they turn gay
>trusting anything you get through money vs basic human goodness
>northern hemisphere air choc full of ozone, sulphates and nitrates
>"clean enough hurr hurr"

where do you pull this crap from?


listen to your parents kids, don't chase the red leaf or you gon get trolled

>when your entire argument is a logical fallacy
>when you are and always will be a leaf

>commute
>work
>"I deserve compensatory mechanisms"
>usury
>inflation

yuck

>commute
>no free time
>living on old money in addition to job, still complains about power bill prices
>only the old and infirm deserve free time
>joe doesn't even take care of him
>more commute, what a fucking retard spending his whole day in his car so unhealthy
>he'll probably get cancer from exhaust fumes
>he prattles about how wagecuck=love while simultaneously blaming goverment for various intangible problems

double yuck. wtf I hate Joe now.

Sounds nice but Joe is kind of a dick

>live in libertarian utopia
>wake up
>no internet because DARPA was never funded and it wasn't developed
>eat my breakfast
>hope i don't die of heavy metal poisoning because there are no regulations regarding food safety
>walk outside
>get into my car
>hope i don't get hit because there are no regulations regarding seat belts or air bags
>driving along the dirt path to my job at megacorp because there are no roads
>work for 10 hours with a 15 minute break to eat my hopefully toxin free food
>go out to parking lot
>car's not there
>call up the private police corporation
>"please note you will be charged $19.95 for this call"
>they give me a quote of $1000 to investigate my car being stolen
>only make $800 a month because no labour laws
>politely decline
>walking home
>get stabbed for my shoes
>nearby private police contractor can't interfere because i don't have coverage with their company
>die of internal bleeding
>megacorp inherits my house because that's what my employment contract said in the fine print

Such is life in libertarian paradise

>>using shampoo without testing it on fish first to see if they turn gay
I fukin died

>die


Oops, that doesn't happen to (You). Just other people.
You will be the ghost of this dead planet for eternity.

...

>Makes his own coffee instead of going to starbucks

Fake news

>leaf
every time, without fail.

Abbos > leafs

Yes leafs

that sounds like india and they doing ok, they put some stuff up into space

Quality leafpost

>Responding to a leaf
I'll make this mistake so you don't have to.

Pure ancap is pretty stupid but it's not for the reasons leftards think it is.

DotR when?

Fuck it's so awesome seeing leftist memes start rolling in

I voted Trump but fuck the circle jerk in this place has gotten very tiresome

no one gives a shit about your blog fuck off retard

Fuck, the abbo has spoken. I almost got tricked into chasing leaves.

what is it with you fucking leafs?

Dear God the self-delusion is unreal.

When I heard trump said he would cut regulation by 75% but "probably more" I shook my head.
I don't know why republicans meme this narrative of regulations getting in the way. They usually exist for a good reason and because someone fucked something up making it necessary to be spelled out for future assholes.

How would you feel, lying in bed night after night with a child, teaching her recipes and how to cook, teaching her about the world, sleeping next to the dear thing, waiting, waiting for the night she finally has a sexual thought, grabs your dick and goes for a teenage joyride.

She proceeds to drain your balls like a pro for a few months, then a concerning thing happens. Her vagina becomes expansive, wider than your dick, and aubergines begin to go missing from the kitchen. One night getting home from work, you even see her flash her pussy at the dog.

Now.... you are at the stage of your marriage where you will have to bruise a thirteen year old girl to keep her pussy tight, and you've invested so much into her at this point. You know it's for her own good. You think you love her but you can't be sure she's just a kid after all.

Your task: Teach a thirteen year old girl (whom you fuck) about fetishism, gynecology, self-control and love. Investment Level: she is your forever wife if you divorce her village will cannibalise you. Hardmode: not allowed to stab her in the cunt.

>live your life this way or else
Go fuck yourself dude.

If someone makes shitty decisions there are natural mechanisms that stop them from being replicated. Instead you want to take my money and pay a bunch of absolute retard bureaucrats to tour around and fine businesses who don't conform to their arbitrary shit criteria and *forcibly shut them down with violence* should they not submit to their random shitty rulings.

Why then? Really curious about economic issues.

Antebellum America was pretty much libertarian and as libertarian as most libertarians want. I don't recall massive issues of people in early America dying from bad medicines or poisoned water--maybe because there existed such things as scientific standards, market competition, and townspeople with guns.

Really activated the almond electrons.

Is Joe listening to ghost

>If someone makes shitty decisions there are natural mechanisms that stop them from being replicated.

What the flying fuck does this even mean?

youtube.com/watch?v=Of-q6kFVbeg

If I sell poisoned bread I won't be making a living as a baker very long.

I'll probably be looking at cell bars.

And the faggot commie OP fags all over our shit because of some greedy capitalist who made his computer.

It's the old
>you are a hypocrite for criticizing big government and the IRS while using government services such as this list of a bunch of things that are paid for by local property taxes

Guess what? That's a regulation. Fucking retard

>Having regulations means ur a commie

You're a trump supporter aren't you

Other people not going to my bakery because I poisoned someone is not a regulation.

Other people beating the shit out of me and throwing me in a sell for poisoning their children is not a regulation.

You mad bro?

Goddamnit don't post shit this funny Im in public

Yeah and if it was someone else who poisoned the bread they'll go after you anyways in your fantasy mob paradise

Why the fuck would you want that instead of a regulation

lmao he got reck-it-ralphed, am I right my fellow north american of questionable lineage?

A Day in the Life of Joe Leaf

>Joe Leaf gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot that he was able to buy for under $20 because it was invented, patented, manufactured, and refined by market testing and analysis of results.
>The water is clean and good because the government was able to apply the billions of dollars of research done by the market in other areas that translated into the
>He takes his daily medications, safe to take because of the same aforementioned billions and billions of dollars done by the market to develop these cheap drugs so they can sell as many as possible.
>All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's plan because an insurance company was able to survive for the last 120 years and insure a metric shit ton of people to insure.
>Joe's bacon and eggs are safe to eat because of centuries upon centuries of knowledge passed down from father to son and yet this "dumb hick hillbilly" farmer still went to the best agriculture university in the entire midwest that has helped develop and teach modern farming techniques and technologies to satisfy the demands of the fucktarded liberal plan of propping up third world countries with aid for their population that refuses to stop fucking for 2 god damn seconds.
>In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to God knows whatever the fuck we need this ridiculous horseshit for because we've known how to make soap and bathe ourselves for fucking thousands upon thousands of years.
>Joes walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because the market was able to continue to improve on their technology with the money they made when the market reacted and decided it disagreed with the industry's direction.

>finally, for the first time in years and years, leafs are shitposting

...

...

this. leaf go to be. no yous for you and sage.

>teach about fetishism

what does this even mean?

it means u gotta teach her how to stretch that pee hole open because her ass and pussy are prolapsed from large item insertion

If I do harm to someone I'm accountable without some bureaucratic nobody telling me he's gonna shut me down if I have dust in my fucking utility shed.

He adds no value to anything. He is an annoying, useless parasite.

it means "Don't put a flute in ur pussy or use teeth in a blowjob"

it's true, my item is large.

okay- well i'd better not catch you around here or i will fucking kill you.

...

1. Joe would have clean water if he lived away from liberals in the city who taint their water with (((fluoride))) and other shit you don't find tainting water elsewhere.

2. Joe, being the good Libertarian he is, would never fucking work for the state or be part of a union, so his health insurance is a private plan either covered by himself or through a willing employer, of which there are many if you don't work shit-tier jobs.

3. Joe isn't dumb enough to believe that liberals are the only ones who want to know what's in the products they use, so he laughs off the retarded notion that leftists seem to claim responsibility for everything they deem good.

4. Joe breathes clean air because, again, he refuses to live in shitty liberal-infested cities like NYC, LA, and such where the air is filthy and will eventually degrade your body over time no matter what regulations are put in place, as Joe realizes that the liberal pipe dream of carbon credits and over-regulation doesn't un-fuck the current air in cities from over-congestion and massive traffic combined with industrial pollution

What did Joe teach us?

Don't live in big cities.

Don't be a retarded liberal.

nice.