Get time machine

>get time machine
>travel back to 1000AD with apache helicopter
>fly low over towns and cities
what would happen?

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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cargo_cult
youtube.com/watch?v=WYyfA_MRtfY
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you invariably run out of fuel and they burn you at the stake and drag your bird into the sea.

fpbp

first arrow/rock that enters the rotors would ruin them, plus the gas thing already mentioned. Good luck finding JP8

>fishing for salmon to trade for bread
>see this
What do?

>implying it didn't happen before

you would either get added to the peoples religious texts as some kind of message from God, or it would spawn some new kind of religion altogether

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cargo_cult

well after you phase a few with your pocket beam cannon to prove youre a god i imagine you could lay with all the women

>People would hide until you leave
>You'd run out of gas
>You'd have to land and get out
>You'd be butchered
>Your plane would be picked apart

helicopter rather

...

>Call him God
>write stories about him in a book
>laugh my ass off with the realization that in a 1017 years an orange retarded clown will take the oath of office with his hand on my book

>what would happen?
You'd get a ballista bolt in your metal dragon's face.

I wouldn't even be able to fly it.

Well played.

>implying they would not worship it as a god

cmon now

You'll run out of gas.

You will eventually run out of fuel.

You run out of gas, but your pdw allows you (if you're smart) allows you to become headman of a village.

damn.. deep

>get time machine
>travel back to 1000AD with apache helicopter
>fly low over towns and cities
Fortunate son starts playing

They hit you with a catapult, bringing you down.

The parts will be melted down to make the best swords in the world.

> Desu Vult, y'all!

Paint the copter to either look like a dragon or a deity of some sort. Then step out of it wearing fancy-ish clothing and enjoy being worshiped. Make sure you bring a gun tho, for any nonbelievers

You become the origin of the myth of dragons.

>what would happen?
Some one would make a painting of it and then 1000 years later some one would share that pic on a Mongolian throat singing board and be called a retard

Stories of dragons increase 1000x fold.

Haha
Retard

Retard

...

He flew on the wings on an eagle I tell thee

Retard

crash because I don't know how to operate an apache helicopter

The hell...

>hide the helicopter
>find the wealthiest, power hungry, and in need of soldiers noble
>offer mercenary services in exchange for title, lands, noble wife, and gold.
>destroy enemy castle
>drop enemy king from helicopter into town square.
???
PROFIT!

>Just flying over a village
>Not rallying Christendom beneath the banner of glorious Apache.
>Not leading a crusade into the Holy Land.

Imagine this playing as you blow up Saracen shits.

youtube.com/watch?v=WYyfA_MRtfY

>acquire time machine
>acquire a10 warthog
>find the 300 Spartans
>brrrrt the Persians

What do you think they would do?

A better question

You are transported to the year 1000AD to the place of your choice with an apache. Bear in mind that your bird has 16 hellfire missiles and 1200 high explosive rounds, and has an endurance of 2.5 hours. Where do you go and who do you fuck up?

>Where do you go and who do you fuck up?
Evil wasn't centralised in 1000AD so there isn't much good that can be done in 2,5 hours.

>What do you think they would do?
The Persians would probably shit themselves and run seeing as they just got fucked by Zeus thunder wagon.

The spartans would probably celebrate their victory and Leonidas would claim to be in the gods favor.

Even better idea.

>1453, Siege of Constantinople
>Mehmed II overlooks the city he is about to conquer as his turkroach forces siege the walls
>SUDDENLY from the skies, a strange noise and then shape appears, hovering above the city.
>Both defenders and attackers are stunned and frantic
>One Apache, then two, then three appear, with all three hovering for a few more moments
>All three suddenly unleash their cannons upon the Turks and traitorous Balkan-shits
>Missiles slam into masses of Ottoman troops rendering thousands dead instantly
>Instant rout of Ottoman forces, Mehmed is turned into a red mist by one hellfire missile
>A10 Warthog BRRRRRRRRRTS hundreds of fleeing ottomans

AVE MARIA!

>fly low over towns and cities

considering you'd only get 2.5 hours max run time, you would probably end up only being able to fly over 1 or 2 cities before running out of gas.

you'd need military grade diesel fuel, which means you'd end up with a grounded heli.

if the year is 1000 AD, unfortunately you are too early to partake in any kind of crusading or meaningful conflicts and you're right in the middle of the islamic golden age. The most advanced civilizations are in the middle east and asia, but you don't speak their language and are likely to be killed if caught. Much of Northern Europe is not christian yet and if you only speak english, the closest you could get would be the old english spoken by anglo-saxons and germanic tribes. Most likely, you wouldn't be able to communicate and they would kill you too.

I keked heartily at that wiki link

Personally, I would wait until ramadan and blow up mecca

Ayy lmao

The Catholics would think God was angry with them, and burn Jews at the stake.

Again.

>all those fucking weapons
how does any A-10 pilot not grab his own joystick while in combat?

mecca is not really the center of the islamic world at this time and had been declining in importance. furthermore, islamic scholars are setting the stage for many important scientific, cultural, and economic advancements utilized by European powers. 200 years later, the Mongols would come invading and sack Baghdad, effectively ending them anyway.