I have Jehovah's Witnesses coming regularly to my house, how do I get rid of them without being rude?

I have Jehovah's Witnesses coming regularly to my house, how do I get rid of them without being rude?

Other urls found in this thread:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jehovah's_Witnesses
youtube.com/watch?v=Ru3GbBB_pIs
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tetragrammaton#Pronunciation
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tetragrammaton#Vowel_points
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jehovah
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

Invite them in to talk about your beliefs first.

>they're not allowed to discuss other views

say: please don't come anymore
If they came again call the police

>supposed to go door knocking and convert people to your faith
>not allowed to listen to your potential converts talking about faith
How the fuck does this ever work?

Tell them the mormons are winning.

a prominent boner

Lecture them about the Demiurge

Do what we do here: put a sticker near to your doorbell saying "Jehovah's witnesses are not welcome", or something like that.

just tell them, they will mark it down and probably won't come back

If they persist tell them you've been disfellowshipped, then they will want to avoid you.

just answer the door naked and tell them sorry you were expecting your boyfriend and his pillipino lover and akwardly stare at them in the eyes until they walk away

You have Jehova's WInesses in Italy? I never really thought about it but I guess I just assumed it was an American thing

Put a rainbow or pentagram on your door

Tell them you are Catholic. They will scurry away.

Jehovah

My wife was raised as a witness.

Had to go door to door as a kid, didn't have a choice.

Flashing little kids is sick, might end up in jail.

We have those in Hungary too, I told them I am Satan, and they never came back, even thought I asked them

Answer the door wearing only a diaper and then ask the mormons which brand of diapers they prefer.

This. This works so well. It works for Mormons and christians too.

You have to know what your talking about though. I talked down one group and destroyed their faith, they even brought their pastor back a few weeks later and I shot him down in nothing but shorts while I was fixing my car. He finally left when the women started getting rowdy because they didn't like what I said and he told them to shutup basically and I laughed and said something about the rules that make that law in their religion. Haven't been bothered since.

Redpill them

Convert

Put on your yamaka and say that you are Jewish

this. JW are generally decent people. mormons on the other hand....

Just politely ask them to stop coming to your house.
Then whip out your cock, start huffing like a bull and repeatedly hit yourself in the orbital bone.

roleplay a little bit
I've never had Witnesses come to my house, but if I get some, I'm gonna act like a fucking crusader and ask them if their souls are ready for the coming holy war.

shouting Allahu Akbar

Attach a mezuzah to your door frame. It really works.

I tell them I'm catholic and I don't wish to speak about their translation.

Idk, its the 7th day adventists around here that are decent. They never go door to door trying to convert people, they only go around when they're doing something for the community to invite people to help and for help.

Tell them their entire religion is a Ponzi scheme

underrated

Don't do that if you are not jewish. You will be marked as a jew, and you will be exterminated in the race war

Invite them in and give them the BogPill

I had my first ever Jehovah's witnesses, sitcoms had prepared me for them to be very persistent and obnoxious, but they didn't even try to talk to me, they just gave me a leaflet and asked me to check the website

moving with the times I guess

Nice! Red pill them with gnosis:) I did this once - I told the guy that as much as he is going to try and change me - I would be trying to change him...in the end I won -- he brought an incoherent old Betty -that rambled on and on - until I cracked his faith open like an oyster.lolol

this

Proximity mine outside your door.

I had this problem once, they would come by my house every couple weeks no matters how many times I said no.

What I did was answer the door in a ratty old pair of tightly whiteys, with a raging boner, holding a frozen chicken, and barry white blasting in the background.

Needless to say it was awkward for everyone involved, and they never came back again.

dont answer the door.

just like when telemarketers call. just hang up. why is this so hard to figure out?

they address this on their site: they keep coming back because you might have moved and someone else lives there, you might have changed your mind, or someone else in the house might want to listen to their drivel.

I went to their site after my mexican neighbor explained that he can't vote because he's a jehovah's witness and they do not recognize earthly rulers, and I was interested in what other whacked out shit they teach. they don't accept blood transfusions, but apparently with modern tech and them bending their rules they can have heart surgery.

so we need to convert all the libtards to jehovah's witness so they stop voting.

Put a star of David on your front door.

Put up a sign that says: "Danger! Mines." Then have an alarm that screams "WE ARE MORMONS!"

'No solicitors' sign next to your doorbell usually takes care of it.

Tell them to send sexy young girls

knock, knock

What do you do.......what do you do?

They keep coming back because you invite them to discussion. They have hope to convert you. You're on their list of folks who are likely to convert or someshit. Tell them straight up or be rude. I started being rude to them probably a decade ago and haven't been bothered by them in at least five years. They do not talk to me or my family ever.

This. Tell them they are heathens and need to join the one holy catholic and apostolic church

Also don't say catholic, say roman catholic

Start taking about how the 144,000 is a pretty good get.
Talk about Kek over and over
If they stay then THEY will soon be paying YOU tithes.

Praise Kek!

Last time JW's came to my house I asked them if they were aware of the trials and tribulations of our great brother L. Ron Hubbard. They had surprisingly never heard of him nor Scientology. I preached the gospel of Dianetics for at least an hour and even brought up Xenu. They never came back.

Tell them to please put you on their do not call list.
That should cover you for 7 years unless there is a clerical error.

Asking them to stop only makes them stop coming for a week or two, then they send new knockers, who then have to be told to stop, who then stop for a week or two, then new knockers again etc etc

a sign on my gate to my gated yard saying clearly and boldy NO RELIGION please has no effect, I guess thats fucking BLIND faith for ya

so now I just dont answer, I let them waste their time and tuck their leaflet into my door crack, which i promptly trash

So whats your discourse?

>They do not talk to me or my family ever.

well, to be honest you should let them talk to your wife's son.

That is horseshit.
You can discuss other people's beliefs.

See, one of the foundations the witnesses base their "belief" on is that they are told they know God's "real" name, being Jehova. They even have a bullshit story how dunno their founder discovered this sekrit name in ancient scriptures or some temple whatever (they tried to "convert" me countless times at home or in the train station, repeating that silly story).

Now... thing is, I've studied ancient Hebrew for a couple years (don't ask why), and can easily refute this: God's name is spelled JHWH/JHVH in consonants, standing for Jahwe, in the old scriptures. But, you're never supposed to actually speak out this name loud when reciting the scriptures because humility and so on. So the Hebrews added the vocals from the word Adonai/Adonaj (meaning Lord) to the word JHVH as a visual clue that you're supposed to replace Jahve with Adonai during recitation. Which, if you can read Hebrew without knowing the real backstory, reads as Jehova. Meaning their "secret real name of God" is actually just a blunt linguistic failure.

I've broken so many of their minds with this simple explanation, I don't even know if that's hilarious or sad. But after a while the witnesses living in our town knew me and started avoiding me like some sort of Antichrist.

>about 5 years ago, around 16 years old
>have my wisdom teeth taken out, dad drives me home
>sitting on recliner in living room in a daze with bloody gauze in my mouth
>doorbell rings, stumble over to answer it
>it's jehova's witnesses
>they see me in my zombified state and apologize for bothering me before moving on to the next house
That's how it's done, boys

Helicopter dick

What happens when (or if) they manage to recruit more than 144000 members? How does that fit into their beliefs?

wow dude, there are no "stories of finding his name in some temple", you're thinking of mormons or something

the whole "don't say the name" was a meme from the pharisees. we know it's nothing special, we just use the actual name. in other languages, it's translated into the most accurate phonetic equivalent.

just say "please don't come back". that's called a DNC- Do Not Call. we won't come back unless it's obvious the owner or resident has changed.

or this, that'd do it

i am one, AMA i guess

let's just get it over with, sure, it's a cult, you were brainwashed, you escaped, it's the reason your life sucks, not that you're just generally useless, all congregations are bad, your single, subjective case is a perfect example, also the stories from your idiot stoner friend are fact too, now the adults are going to talk

i meant this guy

you, you there

Rake yourself

Convert.

Wiki says they currently have 20 million members.
Anyone else got information about these fellows? Never read cared enough to figure out what they believed. Only thing that really sticks out is that they believe in a soul, but not in an immortal soul. Which is a fallacy.
>Object that transcends time
>Bound by time

Funnily enough, they believe the end of the world began 1914 and Satan is now ruling, which lines up fairly close with the current inauguration of the fed and the global elite, with ww1 shortly following.

Even if you are not, say "I'm Catholic, Apostolic, Roman." It works everytime.

How does it feel to be a Mormon without any of the benefits of being Mormon? Fucking cuck.

Well what can I say, that's exactly the story the Jehovas here were trying to tell me. Something about "our research uncovered God's real name yadda yadda". See also en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jehovah's_Witnesses
> They consider use of the name Jehovah vital for proper worship.

Mormons are a whole other kind of crazy, but pretty nice folks. (And I've read the Book of Mormon, there's nothing about God's real name in there, as far as I remember).

Try to convert them to Eastern Orthodoxy.

youtube.com/watch?v=Ru3GbBB_pIs

I found this to be helpful.

>tfw want to be Mormon but not crazy enough
Nice people.

Be rude. You did not invite them over.

Tell them you have zero respect for people who cannot tell the difference between Jesus and Michael the Archangel.

Telling them there is no "J" sound in Hebrew is fun too.

no, the word Ne'phesh is applied to both humans & animals on occasion. so we are considered souls, but the soul is not immortal. "all these poor soups died on the titanic", that sort of thing. pic related. what do you want to know?

so good, senpai. so good.

we just use the real name. there is no argument or story, it's just what we do.

also i don't need to reference wikipedia for our beliefs dude

They're everywhere, senpai, even Brazil. Allegedly they're also a pain in the ass here, but I don't recall ever having them knocking over.

Come to think of it, saying you're Jewish might do it. If they continue just call them anti-semites.

This actually does work. I just tell them I'd like to listen, but the Pope says I'll burn in eternal damnation if I listen to their heresy. They evidently keep records as I haven't been bothered in years.

I had the same problem, so I answered my door with my pistol in my waist band and a bong in one hand while holding the back of the collar on my pitbull, they never came back

JEHOVA IS NOT THE REAL NAME YOU FUCKING IDIOT. JEHOVA IS A MIX OF JAHWE AND ADONAI.

>Not only are souls not immortal but animals have them too
Either that or you're trying to quibble and say a word doesn't mean what it literally means. Stop role-playing.

My Dad used to turn the garden hose on them, soaked them good
They call the police, they show up, say too bad, trespassing
Dad has a 4 foot chainlink fence with a gate, fence is posted with No Trespassing signs
Religious nuts always open the gate and trespass, claim it doesn't apply, not legal, 1st amendment stuff, religious freedom
They kept coming, almost everyday, Dad would sit on the porch, as soon as the came in the gate he let them have it
Eventually he got a restraining order against the local Kingdom Hall and the whole group of cultists
He complains about not having fun anymore
The Mormans are building a Tabernacle/Church/Cult Den a couple blocks away
Dad just got a new sprayer for his hose
Gonna be a fun spring/summer, hope it gets hot

You invite them and start to talk to them.
Begin with: 'Let me tell you about the jews...'

They won't bother you anymore afterwards.

Second this, Jehovah's Witnesses are so goddamned annoying, holy fucking Christ.

Mormons are somewhat bro-tier though, at least as much as you can be while still being a Mormon.

My dad uses to say this any time they came to the door.
"I didn't know they still do door to door escorts, How much?"

These cunts go around bothering people all over the world, sadly.

revelation 11:15- gods kingdom is handed to Jesus
12:7 shows Michael leading heavenly armies, singularly
revelation 19 says Jesus is leading them
WHOOOOK COULD IT BEEEEEEEE?

we don't care. Jehovah is the English translation.

English translation, uses the original consonants.

genesis 1:20 uses nephesh to talk any animals.
gen 2:7 uses the same word to describe Adam being created.

sorry man, just tell us to never come back

>I have Jehovah's Witnesses coming regularly to my house, how do I get rid of them without being rude?

drug them silly

be overly friendly, far too friendly; invite them in; turn the key on the lock, and offer them cofee

they never came back again

I like it.

>Mistranslated words in a language I don't speak determines my life
Pls stop

>Come to think of it, saying you're Jewish might do it.

this is actually true
they don't like them, but they aren't supposed to convert them ether

If you don't want us to come back, all you have to do is say so. We're just trying to bring the word of God to people's homes. It's up to you to decide whether or not to accept it, we're just doing what Jesus ordered and trying to fulfill the remaining biblical prophecies

Be upfront

the earliest Hebrew translations have the four consonants YHWH
the Codex Leningrad of the 11th century translates it as 'Yehwah & 'Yehowah
several other sources offer similar translations, Jehovah is a perfectly acceptable English translation, it's not even the important thing

also i have a life, it's autonomous, & its better than yours man

For God's sake, educate yourself.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tetragrammaton#Pronunciation
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tetragrammaton#Vowel_points
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jehovah

> The consensus among scholars is that the historical vocalization of the Tetragrammaton at the time of the redaction of the Torah (6th century BCE) is most likely Yahweh.
> The historical vocalization was lost because in Second Temple Judaism, during the 3rd to 2nd centuries BCE, the pronunciation of the Tetragrammaton came to be avoided, being substituted with Adonai ("my Lord").
> The Hebrew vowel points of Adonai were added to the Tetragrammaton by the Masoretes, and the resulting form was transliterated around the 12th century as Yehowah.
> The derived forms Iehouah and Jehovah first appeared in the 16th century.

> "Jehovah" was popularized in the English-speaking world by William Tyndale and other pioneer English Protestant translations such as the Geneva Bible and the King James Version.
> It is still used in some translations, such as the New World Translation and Young's Literal Translation, but it is does not appear in most mainstream English translations, as the terms "Lord" or "LORD": used instead, generally indicating that the corresponding Hebrew is Yahweh or YHWH.

>open door
>do a 180
>yell "honey, wait with sacrificing the lamb there are some people here"

They usually leave after that

I'm the soul guy, not the jeovah guy. You're retarded on both counts, though.

Just tell them to stop bothering you.

How hard can it be? If they keep coming back you don't have to be nice about it.

Well it seems he's given up. :^)

>88 999
Truly blessed by kek

No you don't
Nice try
Sage this thread

Take 1 minute out of your day to say you're not interested.