youtube.com
These 12 things could be harming your sex life:
#12 Masturbating facedown
#11People don't change
#10 Only using condoms for protection
#9 Skinny jeans and bike seats
#8 Name-calling
#7 Seeking outside help too late
#6 Eating poorly and smoking
#5 Skipping appointments
#4 Assumptions
#3 Expecting people to read your mind
#2 Poor hygiene
#1 Inaccessibility
What do you guys think? Is she right? Should we stop masturbating all together?
>Masturbating facedown
what?
I’m an Apache attack helicopter and am sick to death of you ignorant bastards. For starters, no, I will not show you my cabin. I don’t see how any of you have the right to tell another person to get naked, you dogs might see women as flesh for your pleasure but NOTHING gives you the right to take advantage of a Apache attack helicopter just because you believe that you’re ‘stronger’ or ‘better’. You describe Apache attack helicopters as ‘military combat vehicles ’, quite frankly I’m enraged by this, if I ever heard you say this word in real life I would punch you so hard you’d be in a comma for the next month.
What gives you the right to think that you can tell us what to do? I will never be ordered around by a commanding officer . Actually I’m so passionate about this I managed to get this ******* guy suspended from my work for making heliphobic comments about me and ordering me to get him a ****ing coffee every minute. Now he’s learnt his lesson and is making ME the coffee.
I weep for a world without champagne democrats, a paradise. Without the elite left there would be no crime, no wars and everyone would be treated equally.
Unfortunately I can’t see my utopia happening anytime soon but I warn you, apache attack helicopter rights groups are still fighting for equality and in the future society might not be quite so lenient on you ROTORPHOBIC bastards.
TL;DR you ROTORPHOBIC bastards will have your privileges taken down soon
Do you not?
I don't remember ever doing that, didn't even know it was a thing.
its how i do it, basically lay on your hand and hump it, ive heard its bad for your dick, not sure though
I think she means masturbating in a sitting position.
t. virgin
how is anything on this list relevant?
...
Stop fornicating, if you have a sex life outside of the confines of marriage and specifically procreation you are condemned.
I don't see how that could fuck anything up, well other then masturbation is the act of a degenerate
I unironically love choking girls during sex
>implying you have sex to begin with
>implying you don't live in your mothers basement
I thought I was the only one. I didn't start masterbating the normal way until I was already a man.
>tfw no gf that lets me tie her up and beat her mercilessly with a belt
>
> here's a list of twelve things I want you to do
Medfag here, its bad for your heart valves.
>mercilessly with a belt
What is it with fedora kneckbears and their obsession with belts?
Was it blinding?
>kneckbears
Dude, I don't understand the physics of that. Like when I roll on my stomach while sleeping and have a hard on it wakes me up from the pain. How the fuck do you fap that way ?
#0 Being ugly.
REEE DESU
I used to rub against Michigan February basement linoleum. I'm fine.
Same, pham. My GF loves to get choked as I plow her and is into rape roleplay, tries to fight back and screams "NO!" as I fuck her deeper and harder. She begs me to pull her hair, scratch her, slap her ass as I call her a little slut.
She's a total freak in bed but one of the nicest shy girls you'll ever meet outside of that. I fucking love it.
>in b4 a bunch of autistic virgins call me "DEGENERATE"
sounds enjoyable, and a girl with those two polarities would be my ideal choice too
how is it not degenerate though?
Well, I mean it is, but I'm 28 years old and have just kind of stopped caring about that. Call me degenerate I guess.
yeah you seem pretty secure about it
What exactly is degenerate about it? No one is harmed, it's not like God doesn't want you to enjoy sex.
Well, maybe you believe he does, but that's like the lamest belief possible.
all women love it
well, nobody is harmed if you eat your own shit either, but I'm pretty sure it's not the sort of culinary enjoyment God would want you to engage in
>These 12 things could be harming your sex life:
My what?
he created beings that eat shit though
...
Small dick fags found, If i tried that shit I would snap my cock in three.
You can't snap your dick from it. All 7 inches of my dick will go up against my stomach just fine
she stares too much
>10 Only using condoms for protection
I love fucking Mexican women and telling them that they are little cum whores for white dick, that they were bred to serve the white man's cock as I pull thier hair and slap thier ass. They love it too.
I am not going to judge her mental state but she looks like shes a crazy bitch
HANDS FREE FAPPING
FUCK YOU MODS
Peruvian confimed.
>not using condoms as poopsocks
This is all common sense. How can anyone not put 2 and 2 together?
This is what a washed up cockslut looks like.
The empty stare. The thousand cock stare. The crazy eyes.
>current year
>using protection
ISHYGDDT
Excessive pressure on penis (to be able to ejaculate) causing erectile dysfunction later in life
Only applies to weirdos who masturbate on the floor or a hard bed
Was it extremely painful?
> thousand cock stare
norway please, my sides, what have you done
Nice digits. No.
I've only ever done it this way, except I lie face down on a soft, velvety surface like a bed or a pillow and basically just hump it. Requires less effort and no lub, and feels 1000x better than hand
wow 7 inches look at mr big dick here guys
What broke first? Your spirit or your body?
That's so cute. I knew a guy who occasionally humped his pillow to get off. I love watching guys do stuff like that.
>#7 Seeking outside help too late
True. I always ejaculate before I can
...
>inaccessibility
She's right about that one. Women are far too inaccessible, I almost never have sex.
>4 4s
What did Kek mean by this?
Please be in San Diego
I have all but 12
Regardless of the information she's giving, it's hard to take her seriously with that wide-eyed psychotic glare.
>wow 7 inches look at mr big dick here guys
>t. micro penis
What does sex feel like Sup Forums?
milky coins
>#12 Masturbating facedown
Someone post a video to confirm
>#11People don't change
Why should I if you won't even try anal.
>#10 Only using condoms for protection
Well I don't really trust something that bleeds for 7 days and doesn't die.
>#9 Skinny jeans and bike seats
Yet you wouldn't fight through fat rolls to fuck me for who I'am. So skinny it is.
>#8 Name-calling
I thought screaming who is your dad usually solves deep mosletaion and rape fantasies
>#7 Seeking outside help too late
We can't trust anyone we actually know in our social for 3 somes so who else are we going to call for double dipping and triple scooping
>#6 Eating poorly and smoking
Like everyone ever at anyone time. Bullshit you have denied a cookie ever in your life.
>#5 Skipping appointments
Like women lie and skip birth control because it effects the pms
>#4 Assumptions
Well like Foamy said: If she walks in with a condom on her head. Maybe ask some questions.
>3 Expecting people to read your mind
Like expecting your partner to put out on your birthday and she is too tierd.
>#2 Poor hygiene
Go to India.
>#1 Inaccessibility
There are sex cranes to help people have sex so bullshit to that.
depends on who you're fugging.
You need to try out many people before you figure out what it's even all about. Having an amazing first can spoil you, especially if you form a relationship (say a nympho in high school).
Some is meh, some is great, and usually depends on how attracted you are to their body and how easy the girl cums.
Sandbags.
Sorry. Boston. Well, some nowhere town 40 minutes outside of Boston
if shes into it why not, i say good for both of ya, keep it up!
Girls do that
>My longest nofap is less than a week
How do I stop my degeneracy?
That's pretty much what I do. It's much easier than using your hand.
dude, you can fap. just stop watching porn.
>mfw in the 5 years since I've been trying, my longest streak is two weaks
Jews have done a number on me.
Such lies. The 12 things harming your sex life are:
12: Mercury-laced vaccines
11: Pasteurized dairy products
10: Public water fluoridation
9: Marxist public education
8: Feminism
7: Excessive use of antibiotics
6: STDs
5: Pedo-produced Television
4: Soy-based food additives.
3: Abortion
2: Faggotry
1: Destruction of the nuclear family.
HOW THE FUCK DO YOU MASTURBATE FACEDOWN?
DOESN'T THAT BREAK YOUR PENIS!?!
Does erotic literature count? I can't get off anymore unless it's to a tender, beautiful romance
Youre a big guy
sure its fine, as long as its tasteful, i mean, as long as its not just hardcore porn in words..
Just stuff a fleshlight in some blankets and go to town, how is this hard to picture?
#12: Never tried it.
#11: Ok?
#10: No need for condoms with a vasectomy and a long-term steady honeybun.
#9: Must suck to be a hipster.
#8: "You big meanie! Fuck me you poophead!" Maybe this is a problem for third graders.
#7: I think that's part of why suicides happen, not why your sex life is bad.
#6: Always choose pineapple over asparagus.
#5: Especially if the appointments are with your girlfriend/wife in bed.
#4: Always assume she's had a bigger dick.
#3: That's what boners are for.
#2: No excuse for being a neckbeard.
#1: Or being locked in a Turkish prison.
>can't get off without reading
Are you me? I love pornographic literature.
Wait a minute...is that moortugal I see, trying to decide what is and isn't tasteful and ethical? Ha!
No, the dirtier the better.
>tfw I've only ever masturbated face down
FUCK
>>Not masturbating facedown while your almonds are being activated
>>ISHYGDDT
>People don't change
da fuq does that mean.
I looked up sex cranes and can't find anything on it can you link me an article or a photo
Yeah, prone masturbation is a thing. It's intensely personal and embarrassing. It's one of those things we're still not talking openly about, although Dr. Drew has made mention of it a few times.
Go to Healthystrokes.com if you want to learn more. It's a support site for guys who are trying to stop.
Be forewarned, it's weird and it's difficult to wrap your brain around, unless you learned how to do it this way from youth. The owner of the site is a little strange himself, and for some reason he doesn't want to go mainstream with his support group (I've suggested it to him). So the tone of his site can be a little strange, but he means well.
>#10 Only using condoms for protection
None of the ways to interpret this make any sense.
How we all started