>Mexican gf gave me a bag of Jack Links original beef jerky for valentines
>Open bag today, very excited to eat the jerky after hearing rave reviews about the stuff
>Begin eating the jerky
>Not too dry, not too tough, I liked it
>Half way through the bag i grab the oxygen absorber by mistake and start chewing it
>Freak the fuk out as i swallowed some of it
>Mouth, throat, stomach on fire right now
Am i going to be OK?? Its been about an hour 15 minutes since i ate the oxygen absorber and my stomach is on fire...
Beef jerky
Jace Ramirez
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Jose Hill
It's too late, you'll die of eternal bleeding
Connor James
nah you'll be fine. they wouldn't put it in the bag if you weren't supposed to eat it.
but seriously, we can't let this guy get the nuclear codes.
Ryder Ward
Btw my face looks like bill's. Feels like i ate a spicy jalepeno
Grayson Miller
it helps to deactivate the neutrons
Luis Edwards
What?
Benjamin Green
They will slowly suck the oxygen out of your cells from the inside out. it says dont eat for a reason reatrd. its honestly too late. you will either die within 24 hours or 6 months depending on how many you ate. go to hospital ASAP retard
Tyler Moore
Top tier shitpost senpai
Nathan Foster
Can I have your Mexican gf when you die, user?
Nathaniel Watson
>>Mexican gf
I think I found the problem, white man.
Carson Davis
Fuck off we're full
Zachary Ward
You found the jerky mint. Congrats!
Justin Thompson
this really
Jaxson Rogers
I'm always fascinated by posts like this. Why would you write your whole crisis story on Sup Forums and then waiting for a response instead of just googling the problem and reading literally the first response in 30 seconds??
Oh wait its fake. Carry on.
Jaxon Campbell
No, it's an alternative post.
Mason Bell
I can't have a back and forth dialogue with Google u twerp
Eli Campbell
>eating Jack's Shit Links
The Target brand jerky is much higher quality and it costs less.
Lucas Lopez
Vomit it my dude. Drink lots of water to dilute it.
Brody Murphy
Protein (protons) are positively charged. To neutralize this you need (obviously) neutrons. I swear this is biology of the seventh grade
Henry Campbell
RIP OP
Logan Wilson
fucking KEK
Elijah Thomas
...
Jackson Ward
>want to know if they are dangerous
>I google it
>turns out its not dangerous at all unless you're a baby who ate the whole pack
Caleb Robinson
shop.realmeatpet.com
You'll be fine faggot
Logan Diaz
>mindlessly shoveling food into mouth
>flag
oh okay
Nathan Evans
I'm alive but my stomach feels like it has a ball of hot lead sitting at the bottom.
Btw wtf man this stuff tastes like a thousand lemons at once
Gabriel Smith
It's literally just iron
Bentley Murphy
...
Hunter Bailey
why does this gif piss me off so badly
I fucking hate this gook cunt
Joseph Garcia
umad?
Connor Reyes
Dude iron lmao
Grayson Turner
kek
What a doomed people are we
Ian Sullivan
Actually you know what? It will kill you. Enjoy your turbo aids you faggot.
Joshua Carter
Autism.
She's cute.
Austin Roberts
No it won't FUKN dummASS i already googled it ROFL
Juan Ross
See? The turbo aids is already affecting you because you are talking like a faggot.
Gabriel Brown
Holy fuck
Gabriel Green
...
William Myers
>not politics or news
Back to Sup Forums you shit
Chase Nelson
That's what she said to mexicants.
Michael Long
Shes fifteen thousand times more tolerable than white weebsgirls pulling ahego aghoe ageeho whatever fuck it - those stupid fucking dumb cunt anime sex faces, when they arent even taking a cock in their asshole for fucks sake.
Damn I didnt cap, captcha was a neat pic of Darryl & his crossbow. Choose 'crossbow'. Google planning a zombie apocalypse now?
Eli Sanders
BEEF'd
Noah Powell
Fuck have you done to Edgar Allen Poe you fucking reprobate?