These seem useful, why haven't they become standard here in the US? Redpill me on bidets

These seem useful, why haven't they become standard here in the US? Redpill me on bidets.

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amazon.com/Clean-Sense-dib-1500-Bidet-Elongated/dp/B00A8FP9D0
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The french are into scat so they made this things so they can shove their faces into it.

used one on a trip to england. feels god tier on your asshole, especially when the waters warm with a nice constant pressure

because you are all savages?

Where the fuck did you find a bidet in England?

because you guys are dirty as fuck

I use baby wipes

i've grown up with a bidet in my bathroom, not once i turned it on, don't even know if it was functional

clerkenwell in london. best shit ever

the funny thing is that you dont grab shit with your hands (I want to believe) but you use hot water and soup to wash your hands but not your ass.

>Like I said. Savages.

My fucking nigga. I thought I was alone with that

red pill me on squat toilets, why do the mussies and slopes use them

Those things can clog up your pipes.

Having bidets is a lot more environmentally friendly.

...

Damnit you're supposed to face that way? Looks like I've been ac slatering by accident since I've been using these things.

GTFO MEXINIGGER

YOU HAVE TO GO BACK PACO

It's degenerate

would a bidet make life comforting in venzuezla or did they have water shortages too?

Took me a bit to realize that you meant "soap." I was picturing some weird shit up to that point.

Prep H wipes is god tier. But it's not always available

PREPARATION HNNNNNNNNNG

A lot of older homes are really small and often have only one tiny bathroom. People back in the day didn't shit as often.

Sitting is not good for shitting. Most westerners actually have hemorrhoids thanks to the extra pressure required to force out shit while not squatting.

Squatting is the natural way to defecate and your lower intestines are designed with squatting in mind.
You dont need a squatting toilet per-se but you can buy stools to put your feet on to achieve the squatting position on a normal toilet

The western toilet hasn't colonized the rest of the world's bathrooms.

>but muscle-wise it's a better position for you

idgaf. I have plumbing skills

what did I wrote? let me see....ooooooh, yea I can see.
My bad dog.

seeing as thats a woman in the drawing she is obviously doing it wrong, also you have to go back

>not just dabbing the tissue paper under the sink water for a split second

why pay extra for baby wipes?

they are a godsend.

they leave your anus sparkling clean

Nigga you just put a trash can in your bathroom and toss them in the bin.

>putting baby wipes in the toilet
You idiot. You wipe a couple times with regular toilet paper and flush it. Then finish off with baby wipes and then put them in the garbage. How dumb are you?

Arnold used to put a wooden block under his heels while he squatted. May be a helpful tip for anyone having trouble getting into the nice derp squat position.

btw why buy stools to put your feet on when you can just pump out some of your own?

then the toilet paper breaks apart and leaves bits on your ass

Gays in the US are more practical and just use a dildo

I've had one for about 2 years
Best $35 I've ever spent. I could never live without one again.
Just the thought of smearing shit on my ass crack makes me cringe

Americans are savage 60% niggers that mutilate children and never shower. Why do you think we don't use bidets?

Because butt fresh smell

>People back in the day didn't shit as often.
Is this true?

Who puts a drinking fountain in a bathroom?

I do a lot of shitting in the woods, as I work in the bush and hunt a lot, and my shit comes out quicker when I squat, but I enjoy a real toilet when I am in civilization.

Closest fags are scared to be outed

...

Squatting is legit the best way to poo in a loo. I tried it one time for a laugh and it felt amazing. Shit just slid out of my asshole like nobody's business.

Try it. I guarantee you'll never shit any other way.

>Taking a diarreah
>Walk out from bathroom with your asshole fresher and cleaner than before

If you don't have a bidet you're not even white.

I fail to see how this pertains to politics. I expect better from fellow Americans. Shame! Shame! Shame!

Baller or folder? I'm a folding man myself.

>not sitting prone

Ducking embarrassing

>not trimming your asshole hair

seriously trimming your ass hair solves alot of problems

Why is that sink so low to the ground, is it for the vertically challenged?

amazon.com/Clean-Sense-dib-1500-Bidet-Elongated/dp/B00A8FP9D0

they dont cost much.

baller? do people do this?

If you ever come across one, dont drink from it please.

That is not a drinking fountain, it is an emergency brown eyewash station.

>Not shitting in the shower, waffle stomping, then cleaning your asshole with soap and water

ISHYGDDT

You'd be surprised. There are some savages out there.

Messy eater = messy shitter. Now you know more about people than you ever wished to know.

...

you close the lid, it's got everybody's poop hands on the plastic. you keep the lid open, the wipes become dry and useless. haram.

word

Okay, Sup Forums. Don't be embarrassed, but who amongst us actually does this? We need an AMA.

mmmm I would have to say that doesnt look like it offers enough water pressure and pressure is important.

I thirst.

I wash my hands before touching the lid again and I don't share.

I have to clean my own bathroom and dont think anyone who has to clean its own bathroom would be this repugnant.

>btw why buy stools to put your feet on when you can just pump out some of your own?

Do you mean creating from scratch? Thats fine too.
I only mentioned the stool because some people teach the (pic related) squatting technique which leads to the "wtf theres shit on the walls" outcome.

If you ever wonder why public toilets are covered in shit sometimes, its because they squatted like (pic related).

I have been incredibly crook with food poisoning, and laid in the tub/shower with the shower on and shit and spewed as my body pleased. not my proudest moment

>not using the whole box in one shitting
savages, savages, barely even hyoooman

Japanese bidet/toilet combos are the ultimate shitting experience.

Nothing like a heated seat, a bidet spray and a quick wipe to leave your bung hole feeling clean and pristine.

Kek! It's not as funny when it's a one off and not a habit, but that's for that!

I agree. It'd be rank. You'd have to kill the plumber afterward he fixes it since you know he's telling everyone he meets.

would love a model with artificial tentacles in the bowl that thrash and suction away the little rests of poo as they develop. If it can respond to voice commands even cooler - make it flush with "klaatu barada nikto".

I just shower after I shit. Beat that you fucking lemon.

you can get a washlet seat for like 200 bucks, less than 100 if you don't get a water heater (you want one). you are walking around with a dirty asshole all day every day until you get one.

Yeah, I don't know. I would imagine there's less risk of making your asshole bleed by wiping too much and I always wash my asshole with the handheld shower head anyway, so make it happen, America.

>Literally shit rags in your garbage can

Are you black?

And they give spics heat for this. Whenever I see an anglo balk at the bathroom bin I'm reminded that they use dry ass thin faggot toilet paper to """clean""" their shit.

No, lots of westerners have hemorrhoids because they're fat and they don't drink enough fluids and they eat no dietary fiber ever. Shit angle is a fucking meme

Jesus fuck I've met Jews less frugal than you.

>everybody's
>not living alone to enjoy the majesty of your manor in peace
shiggy

bought one from Amazon. Quick and easy to install. Hate traveling and shitting at work now. Sparkling ass is best ass.

I'm glad that I live in the US so I get to use toilet paper, not some type of Muslim origin anal machine.

>Spray water on my poop stained butthole
>Okay I'm good to go
And you guys make fun of Hindus?

Oh it feels great, yanks. Will you ever be like civilized people?

>Psyllium Husk daily
>Squatty Potty
>Ghost wipe every time

This is all you need

They make wipes you can flush, you know.

Don't forget buggering. No amount of fiber and dehydration will defend against a dick or other large object such as a baseball bat rapidly and violently entering and exiting the anus for fun.

My dear Amerifags if you still have doubts about the usefulness of Bidets please imagine your asshole is a mud/shit covered truck ¿right?

Now what would you use to wash it: a piece of paper or a pressure washer?

American asses would break them

Those aren't common anywhere that's not a public place simply because in private, in their own home' bathrooms people can use a regular toilet seat for both number one and number two without blocking a line of people who also want to use the "facilities".

do you need a instruction manual for the entire process man?

I didn't know we had Milo on this thread.

it's like a power wash, faggot

>Implying your average american will understand how to use a bidet

>you use hot water and soup to wash your hands

Bidet's are nice. Married into a family in Europe and it is extremely convenient and nice to be able to just go wash your junk or wash properly after a shit. Wish we had them over here. Plus having one over there meant my wife always has a nice clean pussy ready because she uses it any time she goes into the bathroom.

Bidet's are 10/10 and everyone should have one.

That's not a urinal, you uncultured swine.

I wonder that too.

>> hot water and soup

1. How do you dry off your soppy loins after using one? If it requires a communal rag COUNT ME OUT.

2. What happens if some clingcorn falls into the bidet basin? Does it flush like a toilet too? Or will someone else discover your delightful remnants?

Asking for a friend

They're everywhere here. I personally dont use them too much, maybe for cleaning my feet or giving my dogo some water.
You gotta be dripping shit if you need to clean your ass that much.