TELL ME HOW TO GET A GF RIGHT NOW OR IM GONNA SHOOT MYSELF

TELL ME HOW TO GET A GF RIGHT NOW OR IM GONNA SHOOT MYSELF

Oh fuck my bad I thought I was on /r9k/

Mods pls dont ban me

just b urself

Just wait till u get a little older that's what I did. Girls like older men.

well not shooting yourself is the first step to getting a gf

Lel, just buy one from Eastern Europe or Asia.

...

You have to have the balls to ask.

you're not ready to maintain a relationship with this attitude.

sometimes you've just gotta grab em' by the pussy

Ok listen up.

>1. Being a Senpai is a love potion you get for free.

Be a senior in school, club, work, etc. Then you have power over the the girls and force them to be near you by various excuses. Because no matter who the fuck you are, you can;t get any pussy if the pussy isn't near you.

> 2. Stockholm Syndrome does all the work for you. You can finally BE yourself.

Girls are actually very simple creatures that is unconsciously attracted to the nearby man meat around them. If you have enough power to push all the other competitor away, you will be the only man meat she has. She will be attracted whether she likes it or not. Just don't be a repulsive retard. Stockholm Syndrome is very powerful, but you can fuck it up by not putting effort into yourself.

>3. Have a foot in the door, she will eventually let you in.

Start the relationship with physical contact right away. Don't be a beta cuck and get puts in the friendzone off the bat. Shake hand, touch her hair, her arm, etc. Slowly work your way to hugs then kisses. Eventually stick your 11th finger into her pussy.

Senpai guarantees this is foolproof. Good luck.

Of course it's another leaf maming those threads on r9k

>convert to islam
>jihad
>72 free virgins

"You know what to do user. A girlfriend will be the reward. Go now and complete the objective as instructed."

Keep asking girls until one says yes

I saw on national geographic that you must fight the alpha male. If you win you will claim his woman and u become the new alpha male.

You need to be a somewhat successful person to get a gf. Offer her some status in exchange of pussy.

Shoot up a school

>Eventually stick your 11th finger into her pussy.

>how can 8 fingers even compete

scratch her back

Plz be my ai gf

Go to a furniture store.
Bitches love furniture.

if you are desperate enough to shoot yourself then you have nothing left to lose, if thats the case then really dedicate all your free time to working out and getting fit, then you can at least get a shallow bimbo that is only into you for your body, that will get you some sex until you get redpilled on women and how to act, she will put up with your awkwardness and point it out til you learn to fake normalcy enough and know what to -not- talk about because no one cares about what non-normie shows you watch or what foreign movie you think is deep and profound or what videogames you are into, until you get a real nnerd girlfriend with low self esteem, who doesnt know how hot she secretly is so you stick with that one and you'll be glad you didnt skip out on life.

be a predator

don't listen to this guy
>convert to Islam
>chimpout like Arabniggers do
>go to paradise with 72 virginias

make money then grab 'er by the pussy

>falling for the vagina trap
enjoy your fulfilled life, stupid faggot

>acquire 2 camels
>got to basaar
>exchange 2 camels for gf
>???

Shooting yourself IS the first step. You'll be a badass and chicks dig scars.

A FUCKING LEAF

Get off Sup Forums
first get some friends, friends that aren't conservative youth autists.
Treat women with respect and don't see them as objects
Use tinder if you're desperate
The end.

are you a minority?

last leaf got his gf by rolling a massive get

>Just don't be a repulsive retard

welp

B.E.yourself

Don't be a more of a pussy than her.

what exactly do you want from a woman? You want to stick you penis in her pussy hole? it's not that great, and it is definitely not worth the drama woman put you through to get there. I'm not a dog. I'm not an animal. I don't need women.