Becoming Christian

Local Church told me to fuck off, now what do I do

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abc.net.au/news/2017-02-28/beaconsfield-mosque-plans-church-offers-land/8312112
youtube.com/watch?v=FaCHBmGWcBc
youtu.be/7MU2md_FP8k
archive.org/stream/WhitePower_189/White_Power#page/n0/mode/2up
jrbooksonline.com/PDF_Books/This_Time_the_World.pdf
youtube.com/watch?v=KVv0xAcQkzw&t=0s
youtube.com/watch?v=uNLTbPy0idg
twitter.com/AnonBabble

I have a confession to make. I have a strong desire to shit in another woman's bung hole...what can I do to remove this sin from my body

Just do it, then the urge will be gone and you can repent

Start your own church. Church of Cuntology where shitposting isn't just a pastime, it is sacred.

But where can he find a woman to fulfill that desire?

>Local Church told me to fuck off
Did you ask to receive gay wedding..?

Nah they said I "wasn't suited" to worship there and I should try somewhere else

So have you planned the bombing yet

It's cute the prison guards let you browse Sup Forums on deathrow, Dylann.

Dylan is a rural and suburban retard who probably voted for drumpfts huge rumpfts ass

Did they really? I find that hard to believe. Try going to a Catholic one. They're alot more open.

Should I set up an appointment? I just walked into the Church last time and they seemed annoyed

A lot more open to beaners slopping their beans all over the god damn chalice and putting cash in the body of christ

Cheese dip I mean not cash

>cheese dip
Whut?

W-why?
What denomination?
What did you say?
What did they say?

CASO

What does that even mean? What kind of a church was it? Mormon?

They must have been busy at the time. Now probably wouldn't be the best because tomorrow is Ash Wednesday which is a super busy church day. The day after tomorrow go into the rectory or whatever office and tell them you want to convert and ask them how. Either that or go on the church's website find when a bible study or any conversion classes are and go to them. The preist or nun will probably ask you if you're new and just tell them you're interested in converting. They should be happy to hear it.
>le beaners
XD to you my friend
>putting cash in the body of christ
Litterally no idea what you're talking about.

Anglican. I think I offended the Priest because I sperged out and made a joke while he was talking I said "Jesus? Who the hell is that!" but he didn't laugh he just got offended

Were you being annoying? Give us a quick rundown on what kind of guy you are lol

Grow up.

Yeah don't do that. Go to a different one.

BEANER ALERT BEANER ALERT BEANER ALERT

EHHH ESSE U DONT MIND IF MI AND MI AMIGO BUTT FUCK IN DIS SHED AND EET SUM CHEESE DIP OMBRÉ

REPENT

Aha, see what he meant was, "I'm just not interested in putting up with your immature bullshit, now leave."

>I said "Jesus? Who the hell is that!"

Im white and you're retarded

DAS RIGHT WE WUZ SPANIARDS

You mean a church of esoteric Kekism?

Im Irish/German/Greek

>tfw you're so autistic even a Christian priest desperate for converts doesn't want you
Yeah I fucked up, social awkwardness and all that. I'll be serious next time

lmao what church? Was it Anglican?

>now what do I do
Stop thinking about joining a cuck cult

Ask yourself, is this politics?

Yeah, you gotta realize that religion is very serious business to believers as it's the end game in life. Only joke after you're friends, not acquaintances, with people and only if it's a good one in good taste. Muslims would kill you for saying what you did

With open defined as openly bending op over and violating his bum, then yeah I suppose the Catholic Church would be open. See? Catholic priest joke, I'm like so civilized and cool now.

We don't have a religion board and so most discussion ends up here.

Dude yeah they're my favorite xddddd it makes me rly smart edgy and original

Craigslist

So I was lightly raised Catholic, and I got a King James bible for Christmas because I asked for it and I've been unironically enjoying it. I would love to start going to church, but other than Catholic I have no idea about the other denominations. If the Pope wasn't such a cuck I wouldn't even be asking, I would just go to the church I went to growing up and not think twice

If you have Christian friends, and a good friend among them that is willing to be your godfather, ask him to christen you.
When you show up with someone willing to be your godfather priest will take you much more seriously.
Do not talk to much, if you are not capable of containing your spaghetti.

Op you have the aurtism

Did you remember to wear clothes?

Hey guys, former atheist, now agnostic here.

I'm planning on buying a bible. What is the best kind/translation to get?

Burn it down.

Got a King James for Christmas since that's what got the most recommendations when I made a thread about it on here. Been slowly reading it and it's actually bready good. Been unironically enjoying it.

>Catholic

Only acceptable answer besides maybe Orthodox or Nestorian. Protestant anything is heresy-tier garbage.

>t. Agnostic with open eyes.

There all bullshit so just pick your poison. I personally had the NIV, KJV, HCSB and NLT

t. Former christfag

Go to a Catholic Church. We are open to all. Except faggots, if that's why they turned you down try an Anglican Church.

Yeah, I was thinking either that or the New International version. Any thoughts on why King James might be better?

>There
>They're

Ya i caught it after i posted it but im pretty fucked up rn so screw it

>they said I "wasn't suited" to worship there
>while he was talking I said "Jesus? Who the hell is that!"

no idea bud, first time reading it in any meaningful way so.

Then explain why Anglos have been Protestant and managed to conquered the world? No to mention how pretty much all the US presidents have been Protestant, most of those where Presbyterian

Upside-down Satan digits confirm!

Burn them all!

Christ-noob here.
Why is it heresy-tier compared to Catholocism?

Dat image

LEL

>former

le why mannn

>Then explain why Anglos have been Protestant and managed to conquered the world? No to mention how pretty much all the US presidents have been Protestant, most of those where Presbyterian

Flash in the pan. The most successful forms of Protestantism have evolved to be closer to the Mother Church.

Catholic here, that's fucking brilliant.

COMMUNIST SHILL

Well user id rather not go into detail because its a long fucking story. Lets just say i came to realize over the years that its all ridiculous and that when you pray its nothing more than talking to your fucking ceiling.

But i wouldnt consider myself an atheist, im agnostic but if someone were to ask me what i believe in i usually just say "i dont really fucking know."

>flash in the pan
Trump is Presbyterian. So was the most bad ass President ever Andrew Jackson. Seems like it breeds based men bud.

I hate communism mate, im a natsoc polfag with vices im trying to fix.

If any human was ever worthy of worship or if there was really any "savior" type person to have existed it would be Adolf Hitler.

Why did you quit? I've been an atheist all my life in a non-religious family and it hasn't made me happier. From my perspective Christianity offers a lot of things. Getting to go to Church, feeling comfy doing some praying, getting to help out the community, seems like a sweet deal

Popes change the faith stays the same. Don't be a faggot. Hopefully he'll be gone sooner rather than later.

I will admit that one day i may go back to church BUT that's only because i miss the sense of community, not the ridiculous stories they tell you to believe in.

A major thing that had me have a change of heart was when my mother died from cancer, that wasnt the only reason tho

Becareful tho m8, christianity atleast in the US is bluepilled cuckoldry

>Worshiping Adolf Hitler
>Not taking the GLR pill yet

George Lincoln Rockwell was/is better than Hitler would ever be. Hitler might've actually got somewhere, but that's just because (((they))) knew what would happen if they let Commander Rockwell continue.

wew lad

>nothing more than talking to your fucking ceiling

As someone who was an agnostic until the last 6 months when I've been trying to find the right home for me, I've always felt there was "something" more than just nothing and chaos with in the nothing. You've taken too many blackpills desu.

Could you direct me to some material/vids/books to look into about based GLR? I've heard some about him but honestly i just never tried to look into it

abc.net.au/news/2017-02-28/beaconsfield-mosque-plans-church-offers-land/8312112
Don't become a cuck mate

>George Lincoln Rockwell was/is better than Hitler would ever be.

I'm sorry, GLR was stage 10 redpilled and based as fuck, inspiring and smart honest man but he is not better than Hitler. Hitler was possibly the greatest man to ever live, maybe if GLR didn't get taken out he could have achieved more than Hitler.

I know user. I wish everyday i wasnt such a fucking pussy so i could put my .45 in my mouth and pull the trigger.

But at the same time i know my dad would be fucking devastated and i feel that id be betraying my race.

This video is going to change your life, brother. I still have to get his books, but after watching this I binged all the speeches I could find. He could've been /ourguy/ in the states.

youtube.com/watch?v=FaCHBmGWcBc

>maybe if GLR didn't get taken out he could have achieved more than Hitler.
there is no maybe. He would have done what we are trying to achieve right now and we wouldn't be dealingabout all this shit.

ohhh, user
come back when you're out of your teens

What video in post below. I was suicidally depressed too before Trump won. He gave me hope. But that video and that man has given me purpose in life user. I wish you the best of luck.

>Local Church told me to fuck off

Things that never happened.

Most modern Christians aren't cool. They buy into the pacifist bullshit and think they should lay down like a bitch all the time.
I'm having trouble finding my own Church, too.
I'd like something more honest to who Christ was. Not some Marxist woman's interpretation of him.

>Could you direct me to some material/vids/books to look into about based GLR?

Watch this before anything, one of his greatest speeches

youtu.be/7MU2md_FP8k

Books

>George Lincoln Rockwell - White Power
archive.org/stream/WhitePower_189/White_Power#page/n0/mode/2up

>George Lincoln Rockwell - This Time The World
jrbooksonline.com/PDF_Books/This_Time_the_World.pdf


Finally a redpilled quote

“Life is a struggle. Even to stand up is a struggle against the law of gravity, and I think that the joy of life is in the struggle itself – not the victory – because if it were, we’d all lose. We’re all gonna croak. We all lose the battle of life, so if you can’t find fun in the fight to live, and to live to the fullest then you’re a failure already before you even start.”

He would have prevented all the kikery that is true

Good Lord lad...

KJV. It's pure poetry.

Bet the only thing you read these days is your Grindr notifications, huh /reddit?

Thanks user, especially for that quote.

Like i said the struggle for our race's existence i guess is really one of the only reasons im still here. I know i have to continue on, because i want to see my race continue to live on. I know that might sound cringey as fuck but i dont have much else.

...

Good one ahmed.

>Australians have to shitpost in church for God to hear their prayers

It might sound cringey now, but in the future, it will be our battle cry.

(If I had some kind of mantra for the cause this would be were I would put it), Brother!

>when pol goes outside

It's not cringy, one of the greatest things Hitler preached was the Law of eternal Struggle, Hitler was depressed full of anger and sorrow, but he but himself aside to birth a new nation dedicated to his race.


youtube.com/watch?v=KVv0xAcQkzw&t=0s


youtube.com/watch?v=uNLTbPy0idg

I'd buy you a beer if i could lad. Thanks for the motivation/inspiration.

>"Jesus? Who the hell is that!"
>Crickets.

Take their advice.

What flavor? Look up LifeChurch. Might not be redpilled enough for you but it's a good starting place.

Quit being such a normie. Worship Satan instead.

No