*teleports in front of you*

*teleports in front of you*
*blocks your path*
"Hello there, Christian sheeple"

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=oZ8-ETHE9AI
youtube.com/watch?v=F0OHHdxqgi8
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

>immediately suffers a fatal heart attack
And I continue on my day

That will be styx when he returns from his heartbroken runescape grind

Jeeez you can make dresses for entire Africa with that black fabric

Is this the leader of Antifa?

Greetings, my lord.

Lucifer Morningstar is no match for the power of Travis the Moonstar
youtube.com/watch?v=oZ8-ETHE9AI

...

I shall put this picture as my wallpaper!! This should be my diet/no fap motivation!

I don't want to end up like this low test fat fuck

>tfw too intelegent for testosterone

>Let him know I'm atheist
>Give him a high five and keep walking

men are more intelligent than women. women just have i tighter distributeion around the average.

>"Yo bro cool robe, want to come play some D&D 4th Edition with me and these chicks?"

nice shoes hahahah

*stress sigh*

What's going on here? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?

Wow a teleportin talking tree.

4th edition? you fucking monster

It's the hacker known as Sup Forums.

Lucifer is a boy's name.

That is clearly a woman.

daily reminder that Jack Chick was right

Oh, let's be honest here. If a guy claiming to be a satanist TELEPORTED in front of you, would that not give some leverage to his argument? I mean, the ability to fucking teleport. That's pretty cool.

>Pull katana out of my arse.
>Perform seppuku.

my god this thread is comfy
well done uberdeutsch
someone archive plox

so good so good

Nice cosplay. What is your character?

>Oh heavens above! What time do you call this my pretty?
>What's that you say? A protest?
>Why of course my dear. One must fight for what is right.
>To think that this protest involved a throng of radiant young ladies, all with bounteous bosoms bared?
>And my dear, I do indeed chuckle heartily, for it is clear to me that your own bazoomas place first in the gallery of magnificent milkpuffles
>For, m'lady, were a young man to lay eyes upon you and not immediately remark on the potency of your heavenly orbs, one might safely assume that this man is indeed, a boob!
>Yes m'lady, a pun. Occasionally I simply must indulge. Chortle!
>Come closer to your valiant protector. Oh my goodness gracious, you truly are in fine fettle.
>I simply must encounter these blessed globes once more.
>Oooh the feeling through me, like electricity as I glance upon these pink tips, awaiting touch of a chivalrous hand.
>I must return to these givers of life, m'lady. Every man must know his roots, if he is to be any kind of man at all.
>*Gently nibbles on nipples*
>M'lady, why do you shudder at my touch?
>Why, each lick of these rosy jumperbuttocks is like a tender caress with Athene herself.
>*Slurps spittle over breasts*
>The taste, my God, the taste. M'lady, I fear you may find me a terrible beast, but I simply must beg. Wouldst thou proffer a drop of nectar?
>*Sucks drop of milk from breast*
>As sweet as a Summer Dahlia housing a bumblebee. I truly am alive.
>*Snorsh sluuuurp nyom sllllrp*
>M'lady. m'lady, I live for this.
>*Begins to ejaculate in pants*
>Oh, my own fleshrod. It's pulsating prowess silences all! The force of this is enough to make a kind sir void his bowels! >M'lady, m'lady. Prepare! Prepare I say. For the harvest has failed and God yet might make his response be known! Ooh GRRP UUMP
>*BRAAAAAAAP PFNAAAAAR BOWLLLLLT POOOOOOOOOFFFAAAAAARRP CRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPOWPOWPOW SQUUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOORP BRRRRP PFNARSCH PFNARP BRRAAAAP BOOOOOOOOORPP*

...

I fucking love these

he is the smartest men left. everything he says make sense. a normal man usefull more the a million atheist cuck.

What is it about autism and unawareness of shoes? Is that why Stacies are obsessed with shoes, because they are completely unautistic?

Jeezus Christ that's a big fat fuck!

He's dead.

Reminds me of highschool

he teleported to the 4th reich
he done his duty

medieval faires are comfy as heck desu

400 pound hackers

*HNNNNNNGGGG*
>slight turd protuberates from anus through leggings
*HHHHNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG*
>turd pushes against leggings, forming a slight but erotic tent
*HHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGG*
>turd pushes even further
>something has to give, it's either gonna be the turd or the leggings
*HHHHHHHNNNNNNNNGGGGG*
-Omg user, I think I'm having a type 2 on the Bristol scale, it's lumpy and sausage like. I feel slightly constipated but I think I can push it out through my leggings.
*takes big breath*
*HHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG*
>turd won't budge, the tensile strength of the leggings won't allow it to push any further
*HHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGG*
>turd refuses to go any further
*exhales*
>turd painfully retracts into anus
-Omg user, it went back in. I think I'm gonna need your help to get this one out. Can you spot me :^)
*winks and farts*
>BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAP

The Lord of Fatness has arrived

I doubt an ugly fat-ass man can tempt me away from my faith.

I remember seeing these kind of people in high school and college.

My friends and I used call the university 'gaming room' The Special Education department or the planetarium (because all the tables were full of huge fat guys orbiting around an attention whore) We laughed but these people seemed to be genuinely content and having fun, unlike us.

I know a few people like this too. They work a simple job like Walmart or something and are autistic about a particular hobby such as LARPing, vidya, Anime, D&D, etc. They spend all their money on it and are perfectly content.

At first I laughed at them, but now I envy them a bit. I have a good paying job, fucking beautiful women, and I should be living the weeb fantasy right now except I just can't watch anime anymore. I can't really enjoy vidya either. I'm too busy being a normie and even when I have time I'm not interested like I used to be.

Sometimes I wish my life simply revolved around Mtn. Dew, WoW, and Naruto again

I've played enough RPGs. Sell me rare shit senpai

Because women are whores with no honor or souls and they've destroyed yours in your pursuit to obtain self worth from sleeping with them. You should have disassociated your emotions when dealing with such creatures, my son.

leave fatwizard alone. he's clearly just in character at a ren faire.

>Nothing personal

Heh, you're a dark magician.
Pfft, pathetic.
Guess you never met a Ronin before.
*Unsheathes katana*
THIS IS FOR MY BROTHEEEEEEERRRR
*Jpop begins blasting as I decapitate the wizard.
Heh good night wizard.

youtube.com/watch?v=F0OHHdxqgi8

But you're friends would probabably be envious of you're situation as well. That's the human condition for you; you always long for what you don't or can't have.

>You should have disassociated your emotions when dealing with such creatures, my son.
But muh dick

...

Super ultra mega edgy.

Why is fp always bp?

Eh? You've never seen a pair of breasts before? And you're HOW old?! J-Jeez! Ahahahah! W-Well, we'd better fix that, then! Just close your eyes for a sec, aaaaaaand…

HERE! BOING!

AHAHAHAHA! You should have seen the look on your face! J-Jeez, user! Th-Th-They're just sacks of fat on my chest, ya know! Do they really excite you THAT much?! G-Get a look at this, then! See how they bounce up and down! Jiggle jiggle! I-I bet you want to squeeze them too, don't you, Mr. Perverted Virginboy user?! G-Go right ahead! Honk these honkin' honkers as much as you want! Take your time! Heck, s-suck on 'em too! I know you really want to~! Just be careful; my nipples are super hard right now! C-Can't imagine whyyyy…~!

I-I-I-I-I-I bet you wanna see my vagina too! You pervert! W-W-Well, we're already this far! Might as well! I'm not wearing p-panties anyway!

S-S-S-So, what do you think? …Well, I guess that ragin' 'rection in your pants answers THAT question! HAHAHAHAHA! Y-Y-You're such a pathetic pervert, user! I-I-I-I bet it's the first one you've seen since you slid out of your mother's! L-L-Look how wet it is, too! Jeezums fucking Crikes, it's so fucking wet! I-I've never seen it this wet before! Look what you're doing to me, you freaking pervert! Y-You sure know how to make a girl all hot and bothered! Oh, lordy! Christ-on-a-stick! You'd better take some responsibility for this! A-After all, when it's this wet, it's much easier to cram something up there! And I'm leaking like a freaking sieve here! You'd better p-p-p-plug it up RIGHT NOW!

Czech yourself before you wreck yourself

Don't post this guy. He is pretty cool, just fat.

Adapting that Australian shitpasta i see...

>be atheist
>first thing you tell someone is "i'm atheist"
Jesus Christ. An atheist simply cannot change his ways.

>Teleports behind you
>Sprouts wings & unsheathes sword

DEUS VULT!

In what world is the first post ALWAYS the best post?

Newfag bitch

*meld into the shadows and come out behind you*
"heh.. nothin personnel.. kid.."
*one winged angel wing sprouts from back*
*sephiroth theme starts playing*
*unsheaths muramasa katana folded 100000 times in the fires of mt. fuji*
"this is where it ends for you.. baka.."
*environment turns into blackness, representing the unending sorrow of my soul*
*cuts you in pieces so fast it's like i'm standing still*
*sheath katana at the exact moment blood bursts out of all the cuts i made in your body*
"tsh, i guess it couldn't be helped.."
*summon meteor that is way more powerful then anything danny can do fuck you danny give me back my gta san andreas*
*teleport away before meteor strikes completely destroying your remains*

>Is wearing the upturned pentacle of the fey
>Lucifer
This motherfucker~

But a right-side-up pentagram is a holy christian/pagan symbol symbol for the five senses, or of the five wounds of Christ. It has to be upside-down or inverted for it to be unholy/evil.

Why not just be content with what you have then ?
If you really want something find a way to achieve/obtain it little by little.. Its clear you can't have all that you want at once.

I channel the thundrous might of Mike Pence, patron saint of Smiting Lightning, to smite him where he stands.

>*teleports in front of you*
>*blocks your path*
>"Hello there, Christian sheeple"

>I roll a natural 20
>he clutches his chest

"heh, nothin' personal kid"

"Nobody expects the Spanish Inq..."
No, wait. That's a fat repulsive heretic, not a hot female one.
I can't work with this.

...

there is something about this face, that just scream fedora tipping.

Heh... hello again my arch nemesis...
I won't be going on you easy this time, kid. *Scoffs*

Prepare to face the wrath of 同性愛..
*blocks your path*
*teleports behind you*
*blocks your path*
*teleports in front of you*
*blocks your path*
*teleports on your left*
*blocks your path*
*teleports on your right*
*blocks your path*

Looks like you're surrounded.. kiddo..

Build a wall

wtf is a "natural 20" communist puerto rico?

...

but that means women are smarter than men on average because of testosterone.

Not like I needed my sides today. Toppest of keks Aussie!

kek'd

>ant-image
My bad yo

>4th Edition
>With girls
Why would you even try?

More like "Greetings, my lard."

Well, heck, I'd be glad to sign up for any religion where you learn how to teleport.

>tips over

Except he's a Christian
But also a feminist who dated a trap for a long time

Fuck this guy is pathetic

he does as thou wilt at the buffet table

maybe the dick was feminine (so that would be ok).

>wields arcane power
>doesn't use it to fix his appearance

20 on a 20 sided die without modifiers

They have an averaging effect applied to their IQ because they have two X chromosomes, whereas men have an X and a Y chromosome. The two X's average out each other.