NUKES ITS HAPPENING

100% serious question here..
Is there a known way to survive a nuke head on?

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youtube.com/watch?v=6kOU0uusKPE
youtube.com/watch?v=aVx4h-yZZ5U
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HeadOn
noradshelters.com/radiation-doses-overhead/
noradshelters.com/nuclear-weapons-effects/
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

Be Turkish

Are you fucking autistic?

Hop in a fridge dumb ass

Smashcut

Fist yourself in the ass with one hand, and stick the other in your mouth. The moment the shockwave is about to hit you, switch hands. You'll be fine

Depends on a few factors. How big the bomb is, how many, how far away you are from ground zero, landscape, etc.

A bomb in the kilotons from like DPRK or Iran or some shit will be a lot more survivable than a Chinese MIRV.

So depending on that stuff, the goofy duck and cover advice from the 50s and 60s can actually make a difference. Same kind of shit you would do for any disaster, like get in the bathtub or the middle of the house, away from windows, a basement would be best.

The radiation might still fuck you, though.

youtube.com/watch?v=6kOU0uusKPE

Atomic bombs are a lie

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legit

yeah i know but what if?

Roach armor

DUCK AND COVER

only katana

Dis be best advise. TOP SHELF.

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Just pretend it's not happening, you know just like you pretend you have a girlfriend

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Detonate a -1000 degree nuke to counter the 1000 degree one

the initial blast, sure.

None.
- The air pressure from the explosion would kill you
- The extreme heat caused by the explosion would kill you
- The nuclear fallout would kill you

I've read something about it, but how can we be sure? Many countries around the world have performed nuclear tests, so there is a lot of evidence against that.

Move to yukon

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I kekd

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You cant kill someone who is already dead

This is how

youtube.com/watch?v=aVx4h-yZZ5U

if really necessary just dig or find a hole, a good hat, a blanket some cans and water
and get in the lower you are the more earth is protecting you from radiation then you just have to worry about fallout

you need a ring of evasion

And hope to god you roll a 20 on reflex

please leave.

didn't some nippon jump into a pond and survive?

STOP, DROP, AND ROLL.

>Hide in a fridge

Take off all your armor so that you have more iframes, then dodge right when it hits.
You have to time it just right though.

water is non compressible the blast wave would burst you lungs if your not careful
don't know if recommend or not

A bunch of them survived the blast
Most were permanently disfigured and/or developed cancers
Look on the bright side, you could act as a fallout ghoul for a decade or two if you were young and lucky

Headbutt it full force, send the explosion back to the incoming direction.

Go into your personal tornado shelter.

WHO'S LAUGHING NOW?

Make sure you have some potassium iodide on hand. I do. Bonus points if you have enough for some hot babes too.

You have to work your way up, it's called Weapons Immunity Training (WIT). Start with stab wounds, then move up to gunshots to the face. Seals can take a tactical nuke head-on.

Up, up, right trigger, down, left trigger, up down, right

I also have a cold war era radiation detector. Take the prepper pill bro.

That only works for iodine isotopes, and only saves your thyroid
A nuke would be uranium or plutonium in most cases, and the fallout wouod be a danger to all organs

Swallow it you ginormous faggot.

Can attest.

I'm now immune to bullets up to .45s!

Fpbp

Just acclimated to hand grenades up my nose and started stuffing plastic explosive up my ass and so far i just have a rashy poop chute. I figure another week of that and I can upgrade to Patriot missiles in my pee hole.

Live in America and live knowing that we will never be hit (and in fact, we will be the perpetrators to other countries).

CASTLE OF STONE !

Lmao

Bitch we live in Canada. And no you can't survive one head on unless you're either not there or deep underground

Lost

America has nuked itself more times than it has nuked other countries.

beware the Ides of march

Hide in a fridgerator.

(Fuck that movie)

use smaller explosion to build up immunity, id recommend starting with firecrackers and working your way up to dynamite

My grandpa used to say, "Get under the table, put your arms over your head, bend over, and kiss your ass goodbye."

how to survive a "nuculuer" blast
im only half interested in existence as it is, add a bomb and surviving is the last thing i want to do, live in a nuclear wasteland and have to pick up body parts off the street with this clown while i fall apart from radiation, no thanks

You stayed too long in that gulag, Captain Price

wheter or not there is radiation depend on the bombs dropped. 99% chances are we get hit by hydrogen bombs and the radiation is normalized in most areas after a week. if you live in the mountains you will have less radiation for less time.

Lol

fucking KEK thats an awesome grandpa

Didnt somebody already show all you have to do is get inside your fridge? I saw that in a movie. Im sure of it.

Apply Directly to Forehead

I haven't seen that since I was a kid. What is it?

this, also, checked

Try applying it directly to your forehead.

Oh jesus christ you just triggered my ptsd from this.

Climb down a manhole or a storm drain.

No guarantees but its your best bet.

The question is, “How deep must a bunker be to survive a 100 KT surface burst .9 mi. from ground zero?” It is not just a matter of feet. The shelter must be able to withstand the soil weight, overpressure, ground shock and radiation. “15 feet” has no meaning unless we say where it is measured from and the type of blast: 0.9 miles from a 100 KT nuclear surface burst with 6 ft soil overhead.

At 0.5 mi from a 100 KT surface burst you will experience 30 psi overpressure. This is not a lethal pressure but it’s not fun, either.

Initial gamma rems at .5 mi is 25,000. That’s going to kill you. Fallout gamma at 9,554 and neutron rems at 80,000 will all kill you.

So let’s see what happens as we go underground. With 5.5 inches of cover, the combined gamma and neutron dose at .5 mi from ground zero is 57,277. Lethal. Put 44 inches of earth overhead. Combined rems is 291. Lethal.

At 49.5 inches underground, the combined rems of 145 will cause radiation sickness which would probably prove to be lethal. Radiation sickness will also occur at 55 and 60.5 inches underground.

At 66 inches underground, .5 mi from the 100 KT blast, the combined radiation will subject you to 18 rems. That’s safe enough. 71.5 inches is better, subjecting you to 6 rems.

At 0.9 mi. from a 100 KT surface burst, if you are buried 71.5 inches underground, your total exposure will be 1 rem.

Nuclear Weapon Effects on the Human Body

At 0.9 mi from a 100 kt surface burst — on the earth surface — you will be subjected to 3rd degree burns, 280 mph wind and over 14,000 rems.

That’s the difference between being on the surface and 72 inches of earth overhead in an underground shelter when you are 0.9 miles from a 100 KT surface burst

Some headache crap...

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HeadOn

HeadOn is the brand name of a topical product claimed to relieve headaches. It achieved widespread notoriety in 2006 as a result of a repetitive commercial, consisting only of the tagline "HeadOn. Apply directly to the forehead", stated three times in succession.

noradshelters.com/radiation-doses-overhead/

That sounds right. It was a meme before the Internet took off. thanks user

Came here to read this

Effects on human body:

noradshelters.com/nuclear-weapons-effects/

If by head on you mean you're at or below the fireball then obviously no, there is no chance.

If you just mean there's a ground burst or you're within the affected area, you'd need to be outside the kill-everybody radius of the shockwave and underground, or someplace surrounded by at least six feet of dirt that won't be ripped apart and blown away by the winds. And then you'll need to stay down there for at least two weeks.

f;b but posting this anyway. Quality post.

>hide under a bunch of niggers..works every time.

Seriously, are all 60 million of you newfags 14 years old or what?

Best laugh i've had all day.

Turkroaches BTFO

Probably the only reason I'm glad I'm in Arkansas.

Living underground.

The sands will turn to glass and be born again.

As KEK wills it, so it shall be.

Squats and oats, faggot.

72 inches
6 feet under
Dig your own grave and save!

Have 18+ CON
It'll be the day when using CHA and WIS as dump stats finally pays off

try riding the blast wave, if you can compress yourself into a small tight ball and find a way to jump when the wave hits you, you could ride it. then from this point, consider getting up and pretend you are surfing on the wave. ride the wave until it's over.

>open thread
>sees flag

Don't know why I would have expected anything else

Caveat: depending on how close to the blast you are you might have to roll a natural 20 on the saving throw

Can anyone school me on how destructive the UK nukes are?

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Unless you're under 1 km underground with a lead roof, no.

hop in a fridge made in 1950-1960 too bad it will latch closed and you will suffocate, sure you will survive the atomic blast.

I know what you are making a reference too

But on the serious side, I would highly doubt you would survive a nuclear explosion when in a fridge cause you would get tossed around and probably break your neck in the process, even if you did put pillows and soft shit to soften the blow you would still feel the impact and can still break your neck depending how you land on it

put one of these in the fridge and you'll be 100% safe, no atomic blast may ever touch out

Stare it down, nukes are more afraid of you than you are of them.

Because the atomic blast will be touching in unf

Super Male Vitality