Going to Brazil to see my family soon and my mom is throwing a fit and telling me that Fortaleza is worse than Syria...

Going to Brazil to see my family soon and my mom is throwing a fit and telling me that Fortaleza is worse than Syria. Can any of my fellow Macacos confirm?

too many niggers there

I am a macaco and I confirm.

Don't come.

We will mug you, force cuck you and then kill you.

Also, you'll have to bring home a couple of macacos to enrich Canada.

It is the new tax.

If you don't, don't even waste your time.

Also, beware that if you speak english in public, people will kidnap you.

So bring a spare wallet with free gibs from Mr. Trudeau so you can throw wallet and distract the monkeys as you run away from the murder district.

If everything else fails and rape and robbery are a certainty, don't resist. Let them take all your clothes, spread the Zika and leave you stirred on the ground. If you resist, the chances that they kill you grow.

Your best bet is to show as much pleasure as possible in situation of rape so it will upset the rapist and they will let you go earlier.

your family?

Also don't pick up trannies on the street. They will overpower you and then steal your wallet and shoes.

That is if they don't rape you before.

Right. I'm sure Trudeau can do all the cucking for me.

Most important is to have a constant line with the embassy so they pay your return in case of kidnap and rape.

There will be pollution
There will be favelas
There will be niggers
There will be corrupt police officers
Keep your valuables at home
Have 20 Reais on you in case you get robbed
Do not go out at night
Do not give money to begging favela monkeys
Do not get kidnapped
Do not show any sign of wealth
Try to blend in
Do not speak English out loud in public


Good luck user

My homossexual brother lives in Italy because our prostitute mother did not use any birth control and he came to Brazil last summer. Even though he wasn't that white, he was kidnapped and forced to give blowjobs to kidnapper rapists in Salvador.

He was kidnapped in thunder kidnapping in front of good restaurant. He is traumatized and go to therapy for four years straight because rape. We had to pay 20 thousand reais (that is 3 years of Bolsa Senpaiília welfare gibs) so rapist would let him go.

We still in debt to this day.

nah man... it's totally bullshit
go have fun! don't worry about nothing
Diversity is our strength

nossa que porra, voce esta serio?

>thunder kidnapping

i went to brazil for work once. got into a conversation with a guy who eventually said there are too many brownies thrre

From what I understand
>Don't dress flashy
>Buy a throwaway phone
>Buy a second wallet that you can give to thieves
If you're staying in the bad part of town or near it, make sure the place you're staying is fortified.

Wait so he came to Brazil last summer which got him raped and he has now been in therapy for 4 years. Nigga explain this math.

What the fuck are you...

He came last summer AGAIN after four years because trauma.

My english is not very good.

>He was kidnapped in thunder kidnapping in front of good restaurant.

HAHAHAHAHA

I am 41 years old and I have survived Brazil. I was mugged more than 100 times. I lived in Fortaleza, Salvador, Aracaju, São Luís and Rio de Janeiro because I worked selling stuff so i had to move around a lot when we opened new shop that sold fully complete completão PCs to poor people with carnê of the chest. I worked for Silvio Santos, famous millionaire.

Now I'm unemployed because I stole stock but if you want to hire me, I'd be happy to seek job. I can make expendable email so you can contact me with job information if you decide to start business with your mom.

Fug, they made him swallow, didn't they?

Wtf man, I'm never visiting Brazil.

Fake, I've struggled to remember but I've been mugged only 38 times.

Sorry for the drama

She is right though.

I do not know but I could contact my homossexual brother and ask. But I think he just want to get over this as he is planning to move in with his croatian boyfriend.

I have other brother from mom side and must be four (five if you take consideration siblings) on father side. I can ask them if you really want to know but it is too late today. We have no other experience with rape and a kidnap but someone once broke into our house and stole our PS2.

I'm just trying to be helpful.

Nah, I think I'll pass on the details.

All of you niggers are an embarrassment!
As a white southerner brazilian, I demand you go back to 55chan now!

>carnê of the chest

You're fucking killing me you fag

>We will mug you, force cuck you and then kill you.
Isn't that just how Brazilians say "hello".

I've seen this same copy paste so many times in Sup Forums that I just wonder why people even bother in saving this shit

If you see one of these, run!