Meanwhile on medieval Sup Forums

daily reminder that you don't need military grade crossbows to defend your hut
>inb4 king becomes a tyrant
your crossbows wont save you from heavy cavalry and trebuchets

Maybe, but this will...

Ye hebrew hath not tricked me. POGROM DURING DAWN!

come and take it from me then, traitorous swine

That thing will probably explode in your face. Gunpowder-based hand weapons have no future, man.

Teutonic Order sure is helpful and I bet they'll never do anything wrong to us

when will you faggots stop larping and finally free our land from islam?

>looks at flag
>a fucking tree
look its the cucks of Saladins empire

>daily reminder that you don't need military grade crossbows to defend your hut

>implying you can ban the creation of crossbows

Are you going to burn all the forests? Ban animal sinew?

If there's wood and guts people will make bows and crossbows.

>lebanese christian phalangist militiamen murder 2000 palestinians in their refugee camps in cold blood
>get called cucks
special k.

>Owning a hut
>Not handing out crossbows to your favorite peasants
>Thinking my cousins, the counts of the Oppenweiler land and Pattstetten will just sit still
>My uncle the abbot of Maulbronn will just keep making Maultaschen
>probably even Freiherr vom Dinkelberg, this fucking moron, whom I'm arguing with who owns the hamlet of Patten for six generations will be scared to be the next
Peasant.

tfw lady stacia gives her favour to lord bruce of chaddia instead of you before the crusade but the pope says 12 year old muslim maidens are fair game and birth control and aids havn't been invented by the government yet

>hre
when will the german fags become based and leave the pope satelite empire

Chief Redbear, the light skins from a land beyond the sea have come to treat from their dragon ships. They say they need wood for their "Cucksheds"!

oh please, do try not getting us to crown your "emperor"

come and try to make us christcucks

knock knock

Ugabuga

*gains privilige over your heathen shrine*
shhhhhh, nothing personel...

what dothst thou propose to absolve wenches of the west?

>1236
>1260
>1410
how many times do we have to BTFO you cucks

Life was better before all these normans came over, now it's not even another anglo-saxon administering my lands. Fucks Williamph and fuck norman people

hearty jej

tell me, which god does your nation worship?
you don't need to answer this

England will be a superpower by 1520 just you wait

>which god
who cares, it's a false god!

>a fucking tree
holy shit anons

where is Urban when you need him damn it

Pastor Gabriel told me that wenches are to be burned with blessed oil for the whole village to see. This ritual will extort all the demons.

>a fucking tree

>tfw no ethnically attractive waifu like Marco Polo did have

Time for you goys to pay your tithes to Rome

all you retards think making fun of a cedar tree is fucking hilarious for some reason.
well let me tell you cuntsucking clods something. it's the same fucking tree thats lumber was used to mason the Temple of Solomon.
it's the same tree that was used to build the most prestigious fleets in Antiquity.
It's THAT tree that stands hundreds of years without being unearthed
It is the symbol of the greatest merchants and arguably one of the most prestigious civilizations to have flourished in the Mediterranean basin.
It is the symbol of the Glorious Phoenician Race.
It pleases me when you snowniggers, anglo turbokikes, and fat american blobs of le 60% genetic trash can have a chuckle as you witness this great tree before you while typing with your fat sausage fingers, while your women are coerced into worshipping our superior Phoenician cock, you absolute wastes of genetic material.
>"A FUCKING TREE"
>"fucking hilarious. Upboated xDDD include me in screep kapp amirite :DD?? epic win."
No, I'm not gonna take this from you greasy circlejerking faggots.
Filthy niggers.

crossbows are gonna make things like heavy cavalry obsolete i tells ya

When will you faggots learn Islam is not the problem just like America isn't the problem. It's the fucking cucks who are in the MSM and in positions of power in intelligence, military, and religion that are distorting everything.
LITERALLY ITS THE DEVIL.

>mfw some of the punics survived in their native land

Damm trees

the jews killed all the based germans long ago
now they are a nation of poop sex and merkelism.

Garm budrijji gurruba mugi denburrri Kwanaha "white people fighting each other really makes you think"

this guy blowing up anyone else's phone?

How did a FUCKING TREE devolve in to a FUCKING LEAF. Evolution took a wild turn I guess...

this triggers the sandnigger leaf

Who Dost Thou Root For In Ye Olde Tournement?

Sir Ivanhoe The Based Is My Choice. Set My Watch and Warrant On It.

These French fags are annoying af tbqh

>England
>Superpower
I haven't laughed so hard since Nils Fugger helped me financing to build a bridge on von Altensteigs land (and I got the stone for a tower for free!)
You'll get concubined by the Hansa forever.

>*ritualistic gibberish chanting and spastic dancing intensifies*

WE FIGHT SIOUX TONIGHT, RAID CAMP, KILL ALL FOR ENCROACHING ON HUNTING GROUNDS

anybody heard that last germanic stunt?
get this
>holy
>roman
>empire
all of my papal laughs

REEEE FRANCE GET OUT... GANDAE IS THE RICHEST CITY IN FLANDERS, WE DON'T NEED YOU REEEEEEE

Fucks Williamph and fuck norman people
>williamph

Hah

HMMMMM

Away with you, vile Moor

>flag

We all know your "empire" is a fake Hans. You don't even control Rome. You think crusading against slavs is an accomplishment?

MMMH

You're right of course, thing is since they opened the valves we still have to deal with islam. It is just a symptom, but it will have to be dealt with eventually.

>England

>Bubonic Plague on the Saxons
>Family War Presently

What didst he mean by thus?

>daily reminder that you don't need military grade crossbows to defend your hut
>mfw the church actually tried to pull this shit

your flag is literally like some Sub-Saharan shithole's

the problem was with carthage not with other punic colonies and from those colonies, came out roman emperors, look it out

sorry but you arent related to phoenicians, you are arab and mixed with other people

stop wewuzzing

>hut
STFU you steppe nigger.
Who else comfy cottage here?

*Replaces you*
#notmypope

Just looked up your country on Wikipedia. Looks quite comfy. I always thought you were just another Islamic desert shithole tbqh.

>mfw battle of zama

The Pope was the one who crowned Charlemagne Holy Roman Emperor, you mong. Also, it's Holy Roman, Empire, not Holy, Roman, Empire.

...

going to rid the Saracens of the holy land Who wants to go with me

A little fast-forward after Scipio Africanus was done BTFO'ing Mago in Spain.

a catapult cannot rend your door and search your hut for contraband
a catapult cannot enforce no assembly decrees
a catapult cannot maintain a tyrannical kingdom

What say ye kings cucks

wy gean jimme ingelske doarpen platbranden en jimme froulju verkrachten, steltsje monikken en skyt christenen. Kanker op mei dyn Bonifatius. Wodan net Jesus ok.

oh hans, please

>Reminder Charlemagne was black
>WE WUZ FRANKS

>England will unite with Scotland and Ireland
*hysterical laughter*
>We will create the largest empire in human history
*French people point and laugh
J-just wait and s-see

*excomunicates you*
not my emperor

No, the church tried to ban them completely, including in actual warfare.

Telling the housing councelour of Lübeck (cousin 5th grade) what kind of cunt your kin are will be enough of an accomplishment for the next two years!

Day of the axe when?

fucking lul

>flag
whatever you say Tyrone.

Get this hun onto my court!

>1104
>not being Catholic
Explain yourself heathens!

Honestly we should start excommunicating large numbers of people again.

DO ANY OF YOU FAGGOTS HAVE A CHARGER? I NEED TO CHARGE MY PHONE I ONLY HAVE 10% LEFT

JESUS CHRIST HAVE YOU ASSHOLES NEVER HEARD OF A SHOWER???

FUCK THIS IMMA GO SMOKE.. WAIT WHAT IM A HERETIC? MAGIC? ITS A FUCKING LIGTHER YOU PLEBS

i was later sent to the inqusition where i confessed to the crime of heresy after a few hours of "interregation"
but ofc they could not accept a confession given under duress so they kept interregating me for a few weeks

TL:DR dont go to the dark ages, it sucks

>your crossbows wont save you from heavy cavalry and trebuchets

The main reason pope Innocent II tried to outlaw crossbows was because every peasant with one day of training could shoot down a trained knight, knights who were always nobles and aristocrats.

>Tfw you see many comrades already working on taking back the holy land for the pope and you have just arrived to join the fight

i have the list ready

WE WUZ PHOENIX AND SHIET

The pope doesn't even have the balls to say atheists won't go to heaven.

>tfw won an independence from ((HRE))
1000 year Bohemian Impérium incoming.
Spread your butcheeks, cucks.

>77444
Deus Vult

That was the media being retarded. What he said was atheists can still convert to Catholicism and be saved.

Daily reminder never live on the border if you can.

Filthy Muscovite cossack subhumans, with their funny face whiskers always come for a raid.
The fucking knyaz doesn't give a shit too, who the FUCK WILL COMPENSATE ME MY TWO COWS AND DAUGHTER?!

REEEEEEEEEEEE

is it time for the next crusade already?

Okey you won't believe this.
So the duke of Saxony owes me big time because I won at arm wrestling (one would think such a guy is strong but he isn't).
Anyways, I just won his vote on who should be the next Emperor.
Any ideas?

Charles I, he pays good money

I'm so sick of these threads.

>Shalt
>Not
>Be
>Infringed

These fucking peasant SJW who keeps revolting are getting very annoying

William the Bastard? Kek

And when he washed the feet of Muslims? Or when that lesbian bishop decided crosses in a church was offensive to Islam?

Were these the media being retarded as well?

Oh, I know, right? Next they demand we don't take their family when they can't pay up... The west is going to fall soon.

the lesbian bishop was protestard