OFFENSIVE JOKE THREAD

OFFENSIVE JOKE THREAD


Post your best offensive jokes in here, im talking the ones that will get you fired from work.

Show us what you've got.

>that pic

Medievil was a fun game

SIR DANIEL FORTESQUE
BACK FROM THE DEAD ONCE AGAIN

When Amy Schumer was a little girl, she told everyone she wanted to be a comedian when she grew up, but everyone just laughed at her.

Well, no one's laughing now.

Why dont Jews eat pussy?
Its too close to the gas chamber.

I dont know what to think about abortion, I like killing babies, but I dont like giving women a choice.

What has 3 arms, 2 legs, and 1 foot? The Boston marathon finish line

Priest, Nun, and Rabbi are supervising a school field trip, and the group has to take a ferry to cross a river. Suddenly the ferry starts sinking.

The nun screams "We have to save the children!"

The Rabbi responds "Fuck the children!"

The priest asks "Do we have time?"

I added Paul Walker on Xbox live the other day, but he spends all his time on the dashboard.

Why is there no Jewish Santa?

He went up the chimney.

So my wife walked in on me fucking my daughter the other night, and naturally she was furious, I wasnt sure what she was more surprised by though, the fact that I was fucking my daughter, or the fact that the abortion clinic let me keep her.

God's a cruel asshole sometimes.

Sweden is a vibrant country worth emulating.

Why does NASA drink sprite?

Because they couldnt get 7up.

What do Jewish people hate most about the Holocaust?

The caust.

what do you call a bus full of niggers going off a cliff, with one seat empty? a damn shame (my grandpa told me this one as a kid)

...

9 out of 10 people like gang rape.

Whats black, has 8 legs, and makes a woman scream?

Gang rape

We can finally put the controversy to bed.

The Arbiter was black all along

>A shabbos goy lawyer and a jew lawyer see a really hot blond wearing old cutoff jeans and riding an old rickety bicycle:
Shabbos Goy Lawyer: "Man I'd love to fuck her!"
Jew Lawyer: "Fuck her out of what? She doesn't have anything worth stealing."

>Whats the best to come out of Ausschwitz?
An empty train.

>Whats the worst thingabout the holocaust?
It never happened.

Thats my ticket to Tolerancegulag

What do you get when a Taig racemixes with a nigger?

A lepracoon.

This one actually made me laugh out loud. Thank you, user.

ANd my all time favorite, wich made me stay on Sup Forums was

How to get the number of a jewish girl?

Roll up her sleeve.

god damn it, kek

...

How do you kill 7 flies with one hit?

By kicking a somali child on the face.

Why are jews noses so big?

The air is free

Topkek lad

How was copper wire invented?
2 Jews fighting over a penny.

I loved that new Doom game

feckin lel

Why are there no black people in the game Clue? Because then it would be called solved.

Why do Jewish women circumcise their boys?

They love ripping men off

Why do Jewish men circumcise their boys?

Jewish women can't resist anything 10% off

How do you make a somali loose their teeth? By painting a cookie on a rock.

...

What do you get when you cross a nigger with an octopus?

8 row cotton picker

...

I love you both because I came here to medievil post.

damn

...

Checked

...

What do you call 1000 drowned racists on the bottom of the sea?

A good start.

Too far, too fucking far

Get the fuck out of here

What do you call a woman with one leg?

Eileen.

>blacks are more racist that whites and openly at that
I agree. A good start.

What has 100 legs and 30 teeth?

The front row at a Trump rally.

good one

My girlfriend said she wanted to be treated like a princess, so I threw her in the back of my mercedes and drove us into a wall.

How did Rihanna first know that Chris Brown was cheating on her?
She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.

Did you ever hear about Ku Klux Kinevil ?
He once tried to jump 40 niggers with a steamroller.

What's the last thing that went through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.

butthurt detected

What's white with 12 inch dick?

Nothing.

Why do so many blacks believe in God?

He's the only father they'll ever have.

kekkeru

Largest dick in the world is from a white guy. kys nigger

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing, you already told her twice

Reminds me of the bucket head girl.

At least you understand there are biological differences between races.

How do parents in africa celebrate their kid's first birthday?
They bring flowers to his grave.

What's the difference between HIV and a black guy?

HIV stays with the kid after birth.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich? I don't fuck a sandwich before I eat it.

Why do Jews watch porn in reverse? So they can see the hooker give the money back.

What's worse than 20 dead babies stapled to a tree? 1 dead baby stapled to 20 trees.

Why doesn't Japan have any fat people? Because they still allow whaling! Hahaha!

Also radiation poisoning

Where would you see a white man trying to break up a fight with black men?

On the ground, unconscious.

This joke fails on so many levels. Why can't lefty into humour? Do you have a select few to repackage to not offend the wrong people like hipster carlos mencia?

Sad attempt at humour, you pathetic sack of shit

Why is there cotton in pill bottles?

To remind black people that they used to pick it before they became drug dealers.

God tier game

...

How does every black joke start?

With a scared white guy looking over his shoulder.

>German ancestry detected

Not even close, poo.

What's the worst thing about the Holocaust?

It didn't happen.

...

shit tier bait

How do you get an Abo pregnant?
Cum on a rock and let the flies deliver it to her.

I recently started studying Jewish history. You know my favorite part was the holocaust just kidding that never happened.

What's the worst part about being a black Jew?

They always make you sit at the back of the oven

Projecting much? You're the butthurt one for being unable to take a joke that rustles your political jimmies

The irony is that you responded....dude who wrote this got what he wanted lol

(You)

it's actually a mexican

Triggered??

...

What do you call a retarded jew?
>Auschwistic

Jesus said my faith can move mountains.
>And mohommed said my faith can move skyscrapers.

What did the rapist say to his victim?
>Go ahead and call the police, we'll see who comes first.

What are moslems proof of?
>That niggers fuck camels.

What's the hardest part about shooting an unarmed black man?
>The recoil.

Why can't niggers get PhDs?
>Because they can't get past their masters.

What is a difference between a leech and an iraqi asylum seeker?

Leech eventually detaches from his host.

DIS NIGGA LOOKIN' LIKE MONSTRO

AH HA THESE NIGGAS AINT EVEN WASHIN THEY TEETH

“What’s the difference between Donald Trump’s hair and a wet raccoon? A wet raccoon doesn’t have seven fucking billion dollars in the bank”
-Donald J. Trump

Why did the Nazis dig those enormous pits for Jews?
Because deep down they're good people.

Nu-Clue

What does a Jewish paedophile say?
Hey go easy on that candy.

What's the difference between E.T. and an illegal immigrant?

E.T. learnt how to speak English and eventually went home.

>Why can't lefty into humour?

asking this particular question in this particular fashion is painfully ironic.

I walked through Auschwitz and it was really hard.
And the hardest thing was my dick

>Why doesn't Japan...
You were doing great. Take a breather

What do Trump's hair and thongs have in common?

They both barely cover assholes.

What is bitter, ugly, has a worthless degree and lots of debt?

>Molested a street joke, good job.
Try me Nigger, I will say them to your face.
Actually funny, good job. 1/7 is still an F.

I've never seen someone fail so hard at comedy before. Brevity, man.

Feminists?

Alright maybe not a joke but it has to do with my grandma being racist

My mom and I go over to my grandma's house to pick her up for dialysis, and I'm sitting in the back seat

While my mom was out of the car getting something in my grandma's house, my grandma sitting up front turns to me and says, "why are you riding nigger?". Kinda shocked I asked my grandma what "riding nigger" meant, her response was, "well where else do you see niggers on buses and in cop cars?"

Incredible!