I just got off the phone with my dad who works at the state department

I just got off the phone with my dad who works at the state department.

He said bombs by midnight.

If you live within 20 miles of a large city I'd be spending the next few hours getting drug and high becuause you're fucking dead.

Goodbye Sup Forums

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Tanks in 30 minutes

My dad works for Nintendo and he let me play the Switch 2 and the next Zelda game.

k. Jeep me pasted

My uncle's friend is Japanon and gave me a degloved jew face

In all seriousness though my Grandfather is a Sergeant Major In the Marines and he told my mom to leave the Cleveland Metropolitan Area. Good thing I just moved out west 20 miles last week. Just in time.
>Rural Retard now

City dweller here
Fucking nice

why would you want to survive

SAGE ALL JIDF THREADS

I'll have to embrace this death.
There's nothing on this earth for me.

Can confirm, a buddy of mine in Mosul said him and a bunch of other guys got orders to be flown out to Syria very soon

Just got off the phone with Rex Tillerson and he said we're carpet bombing North Korea and then nuking Moscow.

Yeah? Well I just got off the phone with my dad who works at nintendo.

I just got off phone from to my dad and he said don't go into the woods just yet.

Thank god, finally. Let's do this shit

I fucking wish this shit would actually be happening

Just got done listening to my phone calls of interest a work today. Heard some guy talking to Rex Tillerson, when Tillerson said we're going to be carpet bombing North Korea and then nuking Moscow.

Hey well my dad is the FBI

Don't keep me in suspense user, what did he say? Has he met Mr Nintendo himself?

My dad is a Mexican Intellectual he says you would be dead by midnight.

just got a call from Obama, he said WW3 has been going on for 2 days now

>larping
OP is a faggot.

>nuking Moscow.
Burger want to do what he was not able to do even during the Cold War.
Nuked Hiroshima instead.

I'm a Canadian, I would have shot myself in the head a when prep 103 was proposed but I guess I can't kill myself painlessly can I? Because there's no fucking guns allowed are there?!

Just got off the phone with your mum.

If you live within 20 miles of your mums house get some ear plugs because she's a screamer mate.

>my dad works at nintendo
fuck off

That's not true, there is always hope my friend. I hope you have a nice weekend

>If you live within 20 miles of a large city I'd be spending the next few hours getting drug and high becuause you're fucking dead.
why can't I just drive 20 miles away?

there's plenty of time

just got off the phone with my dad, he says syria is building a wall to keep america out and that we have to pay for it

I just got off the phone to my dad who's in jail and he told me to stay away from the West wing tonight.

Will the urbanite finally be crushed?

Your in the same house why don't you come down here and fucking stop me? I just heard you swear from down stairs, you don't want these people to have a chance? You been on here for years as well, come up the fucking steps and stop me.

I don't talk to my dad

>1 post by this ID

Absolutely full of shit

O sit bruh im out herr on tha streets tryna hussle i aint got no time 4 no bombs

Thanks men, that was the plan all along. Goodspeed and see you on the dark side of the moon!

....after i skinned some Reptilians alive.....

Well my dad works for Nintendo and he said you're the niggerist of niggers

My dad works at nintendo and he said youre wrong

>He said bombs by midnight.
He means he's going to get drunk you autistic fuck he wanted you to come with him and bond.

>bombs
Lol

keep sliding!

Thanks for the heads up. I'm packing now and should be on the road in 10 minutes.

Good luck user.

MY DAD IS DONALD TRUMP AND HE SAID TO GET INTO THE AUTISM BUNKER BBBBZZZZZZZZTTTTTTT

Just got off the phone with Amazon, they said my package won't be shipping and they won't be refunding my order. I asked them why, and the CS rep just said Rex Tillerson told him we're carpet bombing North Korea and then nuking Moscow so I won't even need the money.

this
>t.someone who lives in a very black city

i just got off the phone with my dad who works at counterstrike, if you're near bombsite B then cyka blyat and gg

The daddy I get cummies from works for DHS and he'd probably evacuate me with his strong Irish arms

Just got off the phone with Trump and he told me that he's spent most of his weekends getting sodomized by his male intern.

>Sup Forums has gotten so autistic that its actually falling for LARPing autism
im leaving. i should have known this would happen since you were all exposed as niggers on HWNDU. fuck you all

Kek I know OP is a troll and im already drug and high.

S-sauce?

My cousin attended Sandy Hook Elementary School and I can assure you it really happened.

based kiwi

>1 post by this ID

SAGE

>implying i am not already high
Hope this is for the greater good, not for the greater israel.
youtube.com/watch?v=8ymEKiY1UR8
also, good larping there m8

>that feel when it might actually do Denver some good

Fuck off with your bs larping thread

My sister was in a movie called Sandy Hook in the early 2000's. I can assure you, what I saw on that VHS was not a false flag and gave me a full red alert. I remind her all the time so she never forgets Sandy Hook.

my dad works with the nintendo state department and told me that trump is versing assad in mario kart RIGHT NOW

mushrooms in 30

oh, 'straya!

this bantz is top tier

FAKE NEWS! VERY SAD!

San Antonio fag reporting in, were fucked, we have a lot of military bases here so were getting hit. So I suppose this is goodbye

libshit shill. fuck you

This. I died in Sandy Hook so it definitely did happen.

Also AMA

My dad works for Nintendo and he said there is a new metroid trailer coming out within 2 weeks and keep a eye out for the leaks

My fathers wife works at White Castle. Big giveaways for all customers in all cities. Just wanted to let you know.

You must be Jared Kushner, and if you're locked up kike dad knows something from the inside of a prison, you probably should watch out for Bannon.

My question is why the fuck are you fisting marsupials in bants-land instead of fucking Ivanka?

51st state here, thanks for taking the hit for us goyim.

I plan on going out with a bang thats why i have guns

how can i apply for citizenship. I love the U.S. and I love the U.S. constitution.

proof?

Digits and op kills him self tonight for this blatant of a larp.

Remember when that Mexican wizard predicted that Trump wouldn't win? He wasn't talking about the Election. He was talking about the struggle against ZOG

just got off the phone with my contacts in russia, apparently we're going full nuclear in the next couple of years tho

yes hello i heard you used weapons of mass disruption on your own children, can we get a comment on this story please?

>cold war
>Hiroshima

Choose one e

Choose either of these two ways. One, make sure your skin isn't white. Two, enrich an Murican tourist with your seed.

1 post by this ip
sage

sage

wrong

concern shill

Guys, SEAL Team Six just ran through my front yard.

It's Happening!

But Obama got a Peace Prize this one time. All I can hear is "but Hillary but Hillary" as we tail spin

This. 100X this. Like shelters will help against H bombs. This is retarded.

WTF GUYS THERE A LITERAL SPETZANAS in my fucking freezer holy SHITTTTTTTT nuclear war and paratroopers red dawn clinton was right!

>FAKE NEWS! VERY SAD!

Its real. My uncle, who works at McDonald's, told me and he should know.

Obongo personally came into my class and shot me and my classmates if that is what you are asking.

in what time zone?

I love this narrative. King of debt and fake news falls for debt and the king of the fake news stories

anyone who cannot laugh at posts like these does not belong here & its blatantly obvious

OMG I CAN SEE A NUCLEAR ICBM HITTING RIGHT NOW THE LIGHT IS SO BLINDING AND THE SHOCKWAVE IS HUGE.

Mentos, the Freshmaker.

My father was a major in the Marines and one sergeant major he sorta knew was running in a storm and got zapped.

Of course this has little relevance but, hey, learn something everyday right

fug off

Just got off the phone with God; he says we should have girls at Welton Academy.

Goodbye I love you all except the shills

Did he get you the new Pokemon?

because everyone else is going to do that.
What sucks more than dying?
Dying while in gridlock.

Guys my prostate massager just ran out of batteries is it happening??

nice, will daddy trump help you make classrooms safe again?

I just got off the phone with your mother. She says I can come over after you and your dad go to bed

my dad works for the jews and he says it's over for you goyim

Tfw OP is full of shit but you still hope its true