/CPD/ - FIRST NICE DAY OF THE YEAR Edition

Let's get this one started early, Roberts.

>BUT WHO THE FUCK IS ROBERT???
ROBERT is the hero Chiraq needs but doesn't deserve; His nemesis is MALE BLACK, a notorious thief, murderer, and general rapscallion. By night they battle for the fate of the city.

FOR YOUR LISTENING PLEASURE

>>CPD Dispatch Stream:
broadcastify.com/listen/feed/763/web

>>Same feed with ambient music:
youarelistening.to/chicago

>>For Ambiance:
soundcloud.com/sithdemonic/sets/newwaveretro

Zone-6 (isolated scanner of worst area)
broadcastify.com/listen/feed/13262

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BACK THE BLUE
>>Get Behind the Vest donation drive:
getbehindthevest.org/
>Chicago cops aren't even issued fucking armor by their shithole city.

>>The Chicago Police Department Memorial Fund (ALSO GET SOME SWEET SWEET MERCH):
cpdmemorial.org/

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CHICAGO'S K/D RATIO:
>>Shootings ScoreboardS:
heyjackass.com
crime.chicagotribune.com/chicago/shootings/
crime.chicagotribune.com/chicago/homicides/
homicides.suntimes.com/

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>>Chicago Racial Demographics:
radicalcartography.net/index.html?chicagodots

>>Chiraq Gangland Map:
wbez.org/shows/wbez-news/in-chicago-gangs-abound-but-where-are-they/0d956c2e-171a-483a-8666-f5228d98812d

>>Police Codes:
bearcat1.com/radioil.htm

>>Chicago Police Dept. Directives:
directives.chicagopolice.org/directives/

>>Related twitter
twitter.com/spotnewsonig
twitter.com/hashtag/shitoemcsays

PASTEBIN: pastebin.com/pD418Eky

Been gone for a couple of days, Robert.

What have I missed?

Two dogs fighting in an alley.

Last night

Body removal
someone put garbage in some guy's dryer
a super manlet 21 year old Mexican got killed
gazillions of shots fired
talk about dragons and vampires
dispatch is EXTRA sassy
Black guy jerking it in a tow truck
Some people having sex in a parking lot for hours
shittons of street racing
some chick pissed herself in a cop car
Curbstomping

Why so much street masturbation in Chicongo?

Maybe they know we are watching?

Police scanner public masturbation. New fetish acquired.

Here's the RUN DOWN

Today is the nicest, sunniest, warmest day of the year so far, and it's after 4 days of clouds and rain. Tomorrow is supposed to be even warmer. Chimpout threat level tonight is MEDIUM to HIGH

Isn't every night a chimpout threat level HIGH?

Bank robbed this morning

Why is this so cozy? It's people getting raped and killed, people on the worst day of their lives.

Because it's right.

We've been lied to, all of us. Lied to for some long and so much that we learned to believe it, even if we knew it was a lie. What were we lied to about? It honestly doesn't matter. What's right and what's wrong, who is supposed to be good and bad, even basic things about human nature, it all comes to bare, along with several other lifetimes worth of lies.

But here, here's the truth. Real, live truth, still twitching and damp. There's no way to shill or spin the radio, no way to somehow tilt it so that blue sky becomes black. It's alive and real and uncoated with huds or talking heads or a comment section to help you know what to think and feel. Here, we can be the same vile, cruel bastards who mocked every demographic of lawbreaker, from Irish to Polack to German, who's ever decided to cut up rough. We're carrying on a legacy of banter and derision that's gone on since our ancestor's time.

One of many things we lost on the alter of good feelings. Yes, there's loads of painjoy, and who doesn't love to see some moron crankshaft get got in the middle of a robbery? What most wouldn't understand is that our cries of nog, spic and the like are...just names, in a way. They have heat, yes, but we tear into EVERY fuckstick who gets under Robert's boot. The racism just adds to the fun. The way they did for our fathers, and our father's fathers.

We get to be alive. We get to be nameless. And because of that, and because we have constant evidence of it, we can let out that angry tribal we have deep inside, who wants to smash the head of everything that's fucking up what is supposed to be ours. That wants to scream and point at the invaders we are beaten in to loving. We get the freedom to be unkind again, robert. That's why it's so cozy.

We get to be monsters again.

Good evening everyone, meanwhile.

I'm back on the right dosage of meds, i'll try to keep the ghostposting to one a day.

You don't understand. As soon as the first weekend of warm spring weather comes around, it's like the hot African ooga genes are activated. And as it gets warmer over the summer, it gets progressively worse. It's the first nice weekend of the year basically. Things gon' be fun taNIGHT!

Then I'm staying awake for the Chicongo Safari.

Two or three hours after the sun goes down we won't be able to countpost anymore due to the amount of shells.

It's almost 6pm, Jungle Time. It'll still be light for at least another hour. After sunset, shit goes wild.

Heavy breathing there, Robert.

Born too late to fight at Rorke's Drift

Too early to fight space kangz

Just in time to enjoy the nightly Chicongo Civil War.

>bitch in a white nissan
>hitting herself

Fuck, people are so hot tonight they gotta fight even if nobody's around...

>man with cig and black jacket
>pointing large black rifle at people and things

Fucking fuck man, GTA is just a game, brother...

fuck, sliding is still bad today even...

Abridged list of things today; list is a little sparse cause I was gaming hard.

>cops found gun, 14 rounds of ammo
>pull someone over, dispatch: "use caution, that's a hot car"
>black male "doing something" to a female tryna run away
>male black took a single pair of shoes from footlocker
>body attached to horse and carriage
>3 shots fired
>motorcycle flashing gun while driving around
>caller followed by white police van, says they threw rocks at her
>male blacks impersonating city workers, demanding money
>SUSPICIOUS ARABIANS, DON'T BELONG IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
>caller's wheelchair died in the street, honestly depressing
>gang member busted out a window of rival gang car
>person with a knife called in, says he's threatening others?
>a 10 and 13 y/o are STILL in the library, call the cops
>male white banging on windows at yoga place
>male black with dreads, strongarm robbery
>banging and yelling in nearby apartment
>half hour later, no one responded to that domestic yet
>female black and female hispanic fighting on a corner
>"...10-4"
>suspicious female hispanic with child
>woman drinking in the street
>30 hispanics/blacks flashing gang signs
>man in yellow chevy following caller and masturbating at her
>confused woman without clothes in dept. store

sounds like a good start...

TONIGHT MALE BLACK'S GONNA SET THIS TOWN ON FIRE

bump for heroin jawbreakers

>"BLBLBLBLBLBL"

>"WLWLWLWLWLWL"

>"...ok"

Couple of pursuits this early, shit...

It seems like it would be hard to get a bingo with this card

Someone got three the same night it was made...

You think we call it chiraq or chicongo because we're racist? No, it's because it's a valid descriptor...

Real Robert is ready for his hours

Tonight's gonna be GGGUUUUUUDDD

>two
>two shots fired
>ah ah ah

>TWO
>TWO SHOTS FIRED
>AH AH AH

>COUNT WITH ME!

>animal welfare

...

>teens driving recklessly

bumping for crazy shit to go down tonight

>Battery in progress Eastlake Rogers

It's already as lively as it was around midnight last night...

chimp out time

The sun hangs lower in the skies of Chicago.

>caller and her brother have been smoking pot
>now she wants her to leave
>calls the cops

An't that about a bitch...

What is your most memorable moments Robert Veterns?
>nog trying to drag women into the drainage system.
>katana wielding nogs battling in the streets for their shogun.

>THREE
>THREE SHOTS FIRED
>IT'S NOT EVEN 8:00 IN CHICAGO
>AH AH AH

3
3 SHOTS FIRED
AH AH AH!

Was trying to get support for a "the count posts more then three times from the same ID" as a bingo space...

> you will never be in your 20's chimping out with your homies

>22 inch rims

>another masturbation call

Why so many tonight?

rollin d u bs nigga

more shit happens in that city in a day than in my city for an entire year

It's warm, people laugh less when you whip it out.

>drunk guy wants five people he doesn't know out of his house

Holy shit...

I've been there. It happens.

Explain

>20 male blacks argueing

20 MALE BLACKS GONNA START FIGHTING OH SHIT ROBERTS

Used to happen all the time in college:
>lets have a house party
>cool
>5 hours later
>who the fuck are these guys?

I let myself get dragged to one back in '93 in a crap part of Lincoln NE. No clue who the hell the host was. One of the idiots that went with us kept getting in the host's face; he called the cops on us.

Not as exciting as it sounds. Fists, sure, but a group like that will have someone armed. First stab, bash, or shot and they'll cockroach their way to the shadows.

>females fighting
>one has a knife

Normally you gotta pay a fair bit for that...

True.

Side chick putting banana peels in the gas tanks

WE WUZ POSIEDON - nigs jumping into the river to escape Robert

Stealing telephone pole with wire

Hispanic lady nig knocking and peeing on folks

/cpd/ is my only refuse

thank based OC-creators, you are the lifeblood of Sup Forums

...

>going to the bottoms

I still got the tweet...

>threw the caller's mailbox at her

THANK FUCK FINALLY A CPD THREAD

Been scanning through pointless shitty threads for like 30 mins trying to find this it's practicallty the only reason i bother with pol anymore

Let's strap in for some comfy niggerdeath lads

>Mailbox assault

>threw a fucking mailbox through old spic lady's window

What in the fuck it is with mailboxes lately...

wtf lol

We have cities even worse than chicago on per capita basis

...

Here's one decent thread with a bunch of WL investigation

>dragons and vampires
I'm gonna need details on that.

Fucking hell that's good.

gotta add maiboxes to a card

This is pretty slick, Robert, nice work.

thats from 2016

A more amusing cop night:
>friends having house party
>everyone plays presidents and assholes
>everyone ends up in their skivies
>the chubby chicks decide to go dance out in the street
>open the door and there are the po-po

Neighbor had called them on us for the noise. Were NOT amused to be met with mostly naked chubbies...

Skyline/Cain user is online. Good evening, Roberts. How are we, this evening? Ready for some comfy warm weather tow truck masturbating?

>shots fired

>child sprayed w/ mace.

...goddammit...that should be an isolated incident dammit...

CHILD SPRAYED WITH MACE OH FUGGG

>child hit with mace
Prolly deserved it anyway

Glitch Cain, good to have ya! Got coffee made, house is clean, playing watch_dogs and being disappointed there's not random gunfire and pissing spic bitches...

The spray or pic related? I'd believe either one with this city.

I will be utterly disappointed in any open world/ urban game that doesn't have a seedy, violent criminal underbelly active, at least when it's dark.

GTAIV didn't really do this place justice.

>ONE
>ONE SHOT FIRED
>AH AH AH

>REPENT BEFORE THE EYES OF THE LORD!

hispanic male fondling himself as soon as i fire up the feed

Agreed! Love this guys work.

>IT HAPPENED AGAIN.
Stereo counting is the best kind of counting.

People would never buy the reality, I think. With all the touchy feelgood being passed around, you couldn't do it even if it was true.

You'd need like...hotline miami type shit to do it justice. I still say the best would be a openworld bit, you're a cop, swat, whatever, get random missions off the scanner...and everyone free to play is a nog. That might do it.

>I still say the best would be a openworld bit, you're a cop, swat, whatever, get random missions off the scanner...and everyone free to play is a nog. That might do it.

And I would still throw tons of dosh at it. Challenging and rewarding as the PD, and being able to mob up as a color-coded nigga with mayhem in mind would be a great way to blow off steam sandboxing.

It's what everyone ends up doing anyway.

I got some ghostpost higher up for you to look at sempai, should you find it shot-able. I've been on a lot of cold meds...

GTA V has a police mod, you can get and respond to various calls, cuff people, do whatever

>already backlogged