I suck at chess

What's my move?

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launch 59 tomahawk missiles on that open airfield since i'm pretty sure the darkskins used sarin gas

queen check pick up the free pawn? your opponent is worse than you, if that is even possible

polite sage

Bring your other knight out to threaten the pawn.

take the pawn then Nf3

KEK

>get challenged by a pawn, then trade your queen to take a pawn
brilliant

Take your king and put it on its side. For fucks sake, it looks like you're intentionally cutting off your own pieces.

>queen check pick up the free pawn?

Qa4 b5
Qxb5 c6

And so do Trump...

>2017
>Still playing 2D chess

Flip the board and shit on the table, asserting dominance

Your next move should be to evict the Jews from the US.

then you take his queen...

>Algerians everybody!

Hijacking this thread from OP.

How do I learn to not play chess like a complete pleb?
Are there any good books or sites to use?

Website?

Bomb Syria

What is that faggy looking chess game
Use lichess

fuck off nigger

tfw you were the best chess tranny on lgbt

[spoiler]how do I git gud? it just seems like memorization but as well as taking into consideration logical patterns obscure enough to the point where the game actually has the reputation of being hard but on an entirely different level if you were to actually attempt to be competitive in it[/spoiler]

Ironically enough, start by reading end game scenarios. There's tons on (((wikipedia))).

Yes, there are. Both books and sites.

Knight g-f3 is one of the better moves dumb ass.

Ask Trump

Get out patzer

Can I get my next move?

1800 uscf here, what do you want to know faggot?

Only person that wins at chess is the #1 player.. And eventually he can't win anymore. He couldn't even play. He's dead.

as soon as you realize almost every viable opening has been analysed 30 to 40 moves ahead, you start to lose interest in chess. still a fun and deep game if you deviate and the opponent doesn't understand why that deviation is shit.

Some general advice which helped me:

1. A counter-threat is often better than moving your threatened piece to safety.
2. Focus as much on your opponent's moves as you do on your own.
3. Your pieces have more value in the center of the board, so the goal is to control these spaces.

Move the rook to the white square faggot

that's why you have to play risky openings. well until you get to GM level, then it is different.

if your going to play QGD all day most of those openings are boring. try benko gambit, kings gambit even. you have to play with some risk if you want to do well. even grandmasters fear the marshalls gambit

I like the little horsies. I used the nick them and make them gallop around when I was a kid. Also queen check, grab the pawn

Nxd4 nigger
Why are you playing against a retard and still having trouble?
Also

king gambit is just a meme for edgelords

Then move the knight you alreafy know where

Just cause it was analysed, doesn't mean the analysis was correct. Sometimes a superior move is discovered and theory changes. You can't really analyse openings with the computer

i will break your face with the kings gambit

and when you lose you will tell me you were only pretending to be retarded and ask for a ''real game'' ?

Benko gambit is good in blitz. But in classical even an patzer like me can survive black's queenside attack and trade down to a winning endgame.

1) Study openings
2) Study endgames
3) Study famous games and try to guess moves
4) Practice calculations (lichess.org has practice for free)
5) Watch youtubers
5b) MatoJelic reviews classic games and Chess Network has a chess beginner to master series
6) Play a lot against actual people, then analyze the games (w/ engine, self, or friend)

lichess.org/OgbtWM8l

deviations only happen late in the game these days. preparation for chess games consists of studying sequences of moves, learning them by heart and understanding the reason.trying to surprise an opponent by going into a sequence he's less familiar with.

Focus on building a good pawn structure and developing knights and bishops first, trying to dominate the center squares. Rooks and queen come later.
Castling early is usually a good thing. As is having both rooks connected to each other.
Learn some common openings so that you don't feel lost in the beginning of the game.
Be wary of the opponent's threats. 1-move threats are easy to prevent. More complex threats need a lot of practice to be detected and prevented.
Learn basic endgame (such as checkmating with a rook and a king)

These tips should be enough to make you look less pleb. But they're still the basics.
There's also plenty of chess channels on Youtube that help beginners.

Take the pawn on d4

nypa fuck off, wrong board

Didn't see this post. Use your knight on f3 to take the pawn on d4. Dont be an idiot, this is the best move

Queen to A4
he has to defend it hopefully moving a pawn out of position
queen to B3
if he's stupid he'll chase the queen
knight to E4
and awful lot could happen by now but ideally...
Queen to F7

gg.

do i win?

yes, move on to 4D chess now