You are in the middle of Russia (which happens to be Siberia) with a mission to kill as many people as you can and you...

You are in the middle of Russia (which happens to be Siberia) with a mission to kill as many people as you can and you don't speak Russian. What do you do?

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Use a chemical weapon to genocide my own people because I am a dictator called Assad

FPBP

looks like a cock

kind of a small one tho

/thread

It's 5 144 953 square kilometers. But I guess your asshole is so worn up you won't even feel it.

I don't use faggometers or talk about other men's assholes.

Long con, obviously. Start up a Siberian moonshine factory as you integrate yourself into society. Trade favors to the locals to learn Russian. Marry a busty wench as you reap your alcohol money until you retire and give your distillery to Ivan, the local downy. Teach him to distill moonshine wrong and infect your customers with US prohibition-era diseases. Your huge customer base will quickly dwindle to nothing as terrible bootleg diseases akin to krokodil disease will blind and melt the flesh of the Serb snow monkeys. And you still get paid :^)

Of course you don't talk, you INVADE them! Faggot.

That's basically what all your foreign policies is about.

I don't accomplish the mission, kill the person who ordered it.

My foreign policies?

1. Don't invade private parts of other people
2. Don't invade personal space
3. Don't talk at all unless it's necessary
4. Shitpost

I don't know who the fuck would want to kill as many people in Siberia as possible. I doubt anybody would notice anyway.

Anything to get into space, huh? Ok, we'll let you use Baikonur.

Find some way to put poison in their vodka. Probably nobody will get suspicious even if I don't close the bottles after poisoning them.

But how do you fight the urge to drink vodka yourself? Don't overestimate yourself. You are not so different from those Venäjä folks.

Lets say I find 2 bottles. I poison one and after that walk away while drinking the other one. That way I won't get the urge to drink the poisoned one.
I only need to make sure I don't visit the same location too often and everything will be just fine.

But what if you meet locals on the way? You will have to drink with them or you will cause suspicion.

I'll just pretend I'm too drunk to see or hear them and stumble away.

kill all niggers, japs, chinks. jews.

So, basically do nothing? You will have a hard time finding them in Siberia.

>You are in the middle of Russia (which happens to be Siberia) with a mission to kill as many people as you can and you don't speak Russian. What do you do?
Are you planning something, user?

I go on a local market and start selling methanol in unlabelled bottles

Ethanol is an antidote to methanol. Do you honestly think you can supply the amount of vodka necessary for one average evening?

ты дayн мyдaк

Organize unsafe sex orgies.

you retard asshole

we dont invade we go on vacation. you should know this ivan.

It's not an antidote, it only serves as a competitive inhibitor of methanol (meaning it competes for the enzyme in order to decrease the amount of methanol metabolized). It is NOT an antidote.

Pawel would create a lot of blind and dead russians.

Well, ok.

You are in a middle of Siberia. You walk for days untill you find a village. People who live there are Old Believers. It's like Orthodox Christianity, but on Hardcore difficulty level. They don't even sing any songs aside from religious chorals in church. Even when married they don't see each other naked.

And you want to offer them orgies. Well, good like being castrated in the name of Christ.

i get them all to come to the sauna with me

фaк ю

poshol nahuy

mamku yebal

Я cмoтpю, вaм в ceмьe тpyднo бeз oтцa.

the population in russia is so scarce you might die before finding someone alive to kill.

You can always kill yourself.

youtube.com/watch?v=6x0v9E-hZqY

Do nothing, wait until majority dies from alcohol piosening, while others kill each other over 5 last rubles ir bottle of Vodka. Survivors are ok people no need for genocide. Profit.

нe нyжeн oтeц, кoгдa eбy твoю мaмy

I guess you will have to wait forever, since those people dying from alcoholism for centuries now without much progress.

Heкpoфил. Фy тaким быть!

>мaмa yмepлa
нy, вoт ты мeня пoдлoвил

kill myself two times

I had a friend who tried to kill himself three times, which was a good idea because only two of them worked.

Wonder why someone draw a dick-oblast on my map.

Fun fact: the equivalent of "go fuck yourself" in Russian is "poshol nahuy", which literally translates as "go onto a dick".

How you understand the shape of the map in op post.

how is пoшёл imperative case?

benis?

How is assange doing comrade?

...

hes ded

sell alcohol and tobaco

krokodil seems to work better

>how is пoшёл imperative case?
It isn't, but it is often used as such in casual conversation, e. g.
>Дa пoшёл ты
Makes very little sense rules and structure wise but would be perfectly understandable to a russian.

Kill myself because I'm the only one in Siberia

bring a coulpe jews...that always seems to fuck a lot of things up.

Also, under no circumstances go to Omsk. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES GO TO OMSK

You mean Snowden? Isn't Assange in the UK at some foreign embassy?

mummy went to omsk and got punched by man in tracksuit

Same way to take over Mongolia, drive around in jeeps and enslave people and nobody will notice at all

Go back to sosach

Give up mission and drink with comrades.

>Going to Kyzyl
>Walking through central park
>Slapping girl's ass of a random tuvineese looking pair
>Raising your hands in capitulation
>Pointing on a first random slav-looking guy who watching the show
>Crying: "Ivan strong, Ivan hui bolshe Ching Chong hui"
>GTFOing from the city
>Turning around to catch a glance of burning city

To put in perspective, in 1950's there still were villages with population convinced that they live in Russian Empire under the rule of tsar.

Even Russians fail to conquer Siberia efficiently.

I kills them in hand-to-hand combat. Russians are pussies, see the videos where chezhens beat their asses.

Lol, go try to to anything about muslims fucking your women first, cuckold.

>Murican foreign policies
>Don't invade personal space
>Invade public space
>Insert dick of freedom

wew