Got subpeonad what the fuck do i do?

It's to testify for the state against some guy I've never seen before accused of second degree theft. I think it's a trap I don't know just feels weird. Why would someone stealing less than $1000 even go to trial and why would I be called to testify against someone I've never seen in my entire life? I looked up the plaintiff and he looks like you're typical low life criminal he's probably guilty but i would rather not get involved.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=qzPvx8VUSDw
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

I dont get it. Some guy stole a trinket. You look up the guy accused? And he looks shady? Or the guy who's accusing him? And why do you have to give certain evidence if you were never privy to anything?

whoops i mean your and defendant lol

The state is accusing a guy of second degree theft. The state thinks i'm a witness and wants me to testify against him. I looked the dude up and he looks like your typical criminal scum

Just tell the truth user
Only way you can fuck up is if you lie and commit perjury or obstruction of justice

You need to go back Frogposters worstposters.

well you have to do it man, no getting around it. It might suck going to court but it will suck more to get your rectum resized for not doing it

if you've never seen him; weren't a witness, then that's exactly what you say.

Incorrect. Say nothing until you get a lawyer. Plead the 5th until you die. Even if you know it's true if you communicate it poorly you could still end up with a record.

Never, ever, ever talk to the police or a prosecutor for ANY FUCKING REASON without YOUR LAWYER present.

you'd be committing perjury if you legitimately never saw the guy before, so

Also make sure that whenever you're exercising your right to remain silent that you explicitly state you are exercising your right to remain silent. Failure to explicitly state such will be seen as a sign of guilt.

He's being summoned as a witness you dumbass, the 5th only applies to incriminating YOURSELF

Also if OP says he never saw the guy before ever, all he has to do is turn up on the date, take the oath and say "On date X i was in place Y and I've never seen that guy before in my life"

But at the end of it it's probably not a "trap" per se. It's just governmental incompetence that might end up crushing you under it's oblivious boot heel. Don't say shit about anything to anyone.

>a fucking frogposter

It doesn't matter if someone ELSE is being investigated for a crime. If you come across as having committed any sort of crime or as being implicit in the crime currently being investigated then you will get slapped with a fucking charge.

It's like how all those movie dumbasses say "We just broke into his house they won't care about us! This guy is a serial killer!" cops don't give a fuck.

They suspect you OP.


They know you were in on it.

yeah show up and say only
>I PLEAD THE 5TH
and
>AM I BEING DETAINED

I mean literally a lawyer's singular purpose is to tell you to shut up because you are going to say something wrong and incriminate yourself unnecessarily. Any time you are dealing with any sort of legal problem, consult a fucking lawyer first.

>Plead the 5th
Umm sweetie, the 5th amendment only applies to SELF-incrimination, you can be compelled by court order to give evidence on what you witness/know of OTHER peoples crimes. OP has to comply with the subpoena, the only way he can fuck up is to lie or not comply. Bad luck for the other guy, but who cares, as long as OP does not commit obstruction of justice or perjury by lying or omitting facts.

I WONDER WHO IS BEHIND THIS POST
|
|
|>
|
|3
|

Fake a heart attack

I'm confused. How the fuck does something like this happen? Did this guy just randomly select someone out of a phonebook and call them to testify?

repeat after me
" I dont recall"

Probably not the best idea to consult with Sup Forums about this. Take this to a lawyer. You've also been incredibly bad at explaining yourself, which is quite annoying. You have left me and others confused as to the circumstances of your situation. Sage.

Lawyer, correct. Always.
However, the 5th only applies to yourself. You have the right not to say anything that might incriminate yourself.
The court can compel you to answer all questions where this does not apply

Christ you guys are stupid. Your right to remain silent applies to law enforcement. Not the court. Even when you plead the fifth you must state "I plead the fifth"
And the fifth only applies to yourself. Not when asked questions about someone else that you had no involvement.

>Right to remain silent applies to law enforcement
>Not the court

JUST

Dude
How do you think the law works?
Is there some special bill of rights that applies only to interactions with the police?
Well, technically the fifth amendment does only apply to interactions with the government. The courts are also part of the government.

But you do realize that these rights apply to police because they apply to the government first and courts second

Lawyer

He'll make sure you dont say anything stupid, as least some coaching, since you seem pretty paniced right now, and panicked isnt what you should be.

Good luck user, let us know how it all goes, okay?

It's not a trap if it's a subpoena. If you really don't know this person then it's probably a mistake.

It happens all the time. The DA subpoenaed the wrong person.

YOU CANNOT IGNORE IT THOUGH!!!!

Just because they made the mistake it doesn't mean you still aren't legally required to show up. If you don't get it cleared up before the court date YOU STILL HAVE TO SHOW!!!!

YOU CAN CALL THE DA OFFICE AND EXPLAIN THAT YOU BELIEVE THIS IS A MISTAKE. THEY WILL FIX IT.

Again, this happens quite often. The morons that actually do the job of finding the correct individual in the DMV records database often screw up and end up subpoenaing someone with the same name.

Tell ya what buddy. How about you find "right to remain silent" in the Bill of Rights.
> go on
> I'll be waiting

Golly gee could it possibly be amendment 5

"no person shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself"

This desu

>can't infer what "fifth amendment right" means
top kok

You just proved my initial point. You can't be compelled to TESTIFY against yourself.
> court
You DO have the right to remain silent when speaking with law enforcement. As well you should.
You cannot, however, remain silent when questioned by the court. The judge will find you in contempt and throw your ass in jail until you finally say "fifth"

What is "any criminal case"
Does the presence of the cops constitute a criminal case, or is a criminal case something that exists as a trial in court

What is incriminating yourself by giving information on a third party that the prosecution can reasonably infer incriminating evidence on you for a second case

But yes you do have to invoke the fifth, you can't just be silent

>Odd impromptu call to court

Harikiri is your only option. You must take pol's secrets to the grave.

And you also have to invoke the fifth with police

Fifth does not give you the right to be silent. It gives you the right to not self incriminate.

>I do not recall.

Ignore it, because no one is justified in violently impressing another person into service for any reason.

Yes, that's right. "right to remain silent" is what the police tell the lowest common denominator because most people don't know what testimony, incrimination, etc mean

If you know the truth say it if not fuck off you nigger.

>do this
>court issues an arrest warrant
>find you in contempt

hurr

The 5th amendment is your right to not self incriminate, however, you can invoke it as a witness since the court cannot prove that you answering any question about someone else will not self incriminate you.

You can absolutely not say a damn word when the police or anyone questions you regarding a crime someone else committed, because they have to prove a negative i.e. your testimony will not implicate you in a crime.

Im a burger, whos dealt with stupid shit from landlords in court wanting me to testify against other tenants.

A criminal case means that you have been formally charged of suspected illegal activity by the court as a result of a criminal investigation (police, FBI, DA)

Personally I'd love that.
Come be immoral pieces of shit all you'd like. Sin your heart out.

>Implying the words "criminal case" meant the same thing in 1789 as the technical sense they have in the year 2017

False. You can simply stare at them until your eyes bleed without further charges. But the smart thing to do is tell them that you are exercising your right to remain silent

>Got subpeonad what the fuck do i do?
Show up to court on time.

Tell the truth.

OP is already dead.

>show up to court
>plead the fifth until they let you leave

Better is to get an attorney and have them find out the purpose of your testimony in this investigation

You're either completely stupid or intentionally saying retarded nigger shit

This user got it right.

K A F K A
A
F
K
A

Actually, no. This is called "textualism". Have fun with ad hom friendo

Have you reported any items stolen?
Do you work in retail, banking, or telecommunications?

plead the 5th. That seems to work

Didn't the Attorney General plead the 5th last year? If the person in charge of laws can do it then anyone can. USA is weird

OP: youtube.com/watch?v=qzPvx8VUSDw

The existence of law has no necessary connection to the merit - moral or otherwise - of law.

You're all cowardly sheeple who are either pathetically lacking in moral spine or else totally ignorant of the objective fact that people anything you want to call law is contrived shit from the arbitrary whims of other worthless fleshbags who you have a sub-human reverence for.

Yep, this user's advice is spot on. Contact the DA and tell them something's fucky.

deep bro

lol @ u tripcunt

Any adjectives other than 'true' aren't relevant.

>AM I BEING DETAINED!?!?!

>look at how mad this fucking nobody is
>look at how powerless this fucking nobody is
I became a meter maid just to torment faggots like you.

Nigger comes into your dwelling. Kills you.
>lol I have nothing to complain about he overpowered me xD i got what i deserved xD

help a nigga out and say he dint do nuffin

>believing the cops would actually help you

Might makes right - if people murder and rape and torture, you're perfectly fine with that. What an amazing human you are!

>I can't read

just tell them that. explain that you dont know him, have never seen him, and will testify to that effect. you really fucking think the state is going to force you to come to court, if they know your testimony will not only be unhelpful, but detrimental to the prosecutor?

also fuck off to /adv/

Now that I'm thinking back i did have my locker at the gym broken into almost a year and a half ago. I remember the cops calling and saying they caught the guy a couple days later though

The front be does not apply as a witness you not, you are not being accused of anything,and are intact instructing legal proceedings,you are under oath when testifying.

(((they))) convince DA to summons goys to court
recommend goys get a lawyer
a goy and his shekels are easily parted

>the rage of the microdicked incel
Just, like, learn how to gain power and stuff. You know, like how normal men did for the past several millenia. Then you can't be victimized.

>or you can go on being a faggot i really don't give a fuck

The guy that's the defendant is white surprisingly enough. Looks like he got hit in the face with a shovel when he was a baby though and his car on his facebook is shitty too. bad genes + poor = criminal

Toddler playing with a pot on a stairwell knocks it off - pot lands on your head, killing you.
>ha well survival of the fittest man xD i shoulda been stronger amirite xD
Hilarious!

Where is your god now?

PUT THAT DEGENERATE FUCK BEHIND BARS YOU PUSSY!

IDC IF HE DID IT OR NOT!

MY GOD YOU'RE A BLEEDING VAGINA!

Even if i don't get a lawyer i'll still have to miss a day of work to come in a go "yep that's my gym lock that got stolen". Jews win either way.

digits don't lie

What's up with this frogposter stuff I'm seeing everywhere? Is this a new shareblue tactic or did I miss something?

...

No no what you need to do is tell the judge that you wont comply with his orders because there are gold fringes on the flag and that means his court is under admiralty law.

dumb frogposter is an old meme you freshcunt

>implying I give a shit what you do
I've got mine until the end of time senpai~
Good luck with yours!

Dude if he's a nigger say that you saw him do it.

Most people don't even know about that. Probably the judge doesn't either

...

That's very unchristian of you

You've gone from sovereign citizen retard to nigger retard in less than two minutes. Think about that for a bit.

>but not in a loading zone or i'll write your faggot ass up :>)

>be American
>get called to be a witness
>get criminal record

You're a moron.

Not at all - I'm commanded to love people, not care for them ^_^

What the fuck are you talking about? Does the fact that you can die an absurd death at any moment freak you out that much? Well, since your options as it stands are oblivion or hell, I suppose you might have justified fear.

Pretty sure you're commanded to bear witness

What do you think pointing out other people's sin is doing?
I've named the sin. What else do you wrongly think I'm obligated to do?

>umm sweetie
fucking dropped

If you really do not know then do not bear false witness. That is something that would be very hard to live down in your conscious unless your a psychopath.

explain to the judge that he's innocent and you know this because you were getting fucked up the ass by him when you saw the man who stole the money, and then point to the judge and say "IT WAS YOU!"