A food tech startup that has raised $118 million in venture capital — including from some of the most prominent...

>A food tech startup that has raised $118 million in venture capital — including from some of the most prominent investors in Silicon Valley — is facing questions over its flagship gadget.

>Juicero charges $400 for a machine that presses juice from its proprietary juice bags and that requires a smartphone app. The problem? Users may be able to squeeze the bags for free using their own bare hands.

www.bizjournals.com/sanjose/news/2017/04/19/juicero-juicer-machine-use-hands-vc-funding.html
youtu.be/5lutHF5HhVA
WHY?

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youtu.be/-i0UugILBJg
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lolol wut?

This has to be some sort of scam to transfer money or obtain control over a market segment or something.

fucking retards.

>silicon valley
>not just a bunch of millennial producing expensive useless crap
>people will still buy this overpriced garbage

Basically it was pitched as similar to the pod coffee but turns out the device that squeezes the chopped up fruit packets (protected by DRM) into juice is unneccesary, I think it was just stupidity.

Most companies like this? They get as many investments as possible, get some company to build the prototype, sell it to investors, get the product made as cheap as possible. Yet, its not about selling that product - the CEO or head of the company pays themselves like 30 million of that $118 million and if the company flops it flops.

Welcome to the world of "startups"

Incredible. The lack of foresight is astounding.

Goes to show how just because there is money doesn't mean the idea is good. You really can sell anything to consumers with a good marketing pitch

Wait. All they did is put chopped fruit into bags? How the hell did they get this much funding?

>DRM
ah, that's probably the key to it.

Mark of the beast.

>taking reddit topics and posting them to Sup Forums

Just kys

Selling fruit juice like they sell pod coffee, printers or disposable razors, pay for an appliance that only works with brand name cartridges

Why would someone buy this, when they can go the store and have someone juice it for them- or just go buy 100% organic juice of the shelf. lulwtf

Jesus Christ people are lazy.

>jews laundering money with VC
Nothing new here.

What kind of data/code the DRM was put up to? Proprietary pressure sequence? have they patented it out yet?

>Tickling my almonds

It must have been some REALLY autistic jew

ahahahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

> social media director: "hey we are getting some bad press...."
> ceo: "oh, shit, did they squeeze the bag?"
> social media director: "ya they squeezed the bag"
> ceo: "ah shit, welp, we're ruined."

The press reads a unique QR on the packet, the press is also wi-fi enabled for some reason

My guess it's just viral marketing to make people buy overpriced bags of juice

What is it about Silicon Valley that makes them eager to sink money into this kind of crap?

Speaking of SV, how could we ever forget about the shitshow that was pic related?

where can I buy one? Would look cool in my kitchen.

>wi-fi enabled
"internet of things" they call it.

Normies thought one of the former heads of the CIA was joking when he said some years back that they'll be spying on you via your dish washer.

Sounds like a democrat money laundering scheme in silicon valley. See who owns the company, who invested, who supplies them

> now they're gonna think we're juice or something

this is untuckit for juice

this is basically standard practice for SV, where you been?

so the bag doesnt actually contain solid fruit, but juice water? why the fuck do you even need a machine then?
even so, why the fuck do you even need it at all? if you want fruit juice get a $40 fruit juicer and thats it wtf please russia nuke the amerishits already

Kek

SodaStream does the exact same thing. They're an Israeli company, they sell little devices that basically make soft drinks. The pitch is that instead of buying a $1 bottle of carbonated water and just squeezing some $1 raspberry concentrate into the bottle, you can pay them $45 dollars for a C02 canister and $7 per flavor and they will mix the two for you. Just add tap water, Goyim.

"finely chopped" fruits and vegetables
so yea, probably pre-filled with juice

>so the bag doesnt actually contain solid fruit, but juice water? why the fuck do you even need a machine then?
>even so, why the fuck do you even need it at all? if you want fruit juice get a $40 fruit juicer and thats it wtf please russia nuke the amerishits already

This is what happens when morons invest in the ideas of other morons.

>Leftists getting ripped off

Good.

>$118 million raised for a $400 machine that squeezes the juice out of botnet connected, DRM protected proprietary bags of juice

other useless products/product flops

Angel Babies, a line of dolls
>moms didn't buy the toys because they were DEAD CHILDREN

New Coke
>sucked

Mr Tea
>an electric device that runs hot water through your tea bag

>some really autistic juice

MONORAIL

i dont even

the fuck is wrong with the world today

Nah, people are just dumb

Remember those smart walkways and sun panel roads? Plastic from air?

thats a basic business strategy and it works otherwise they wouldnt teach it and companies wouldnt make millions of it:
>razorblades. the money comes from the selling of razors, not machines
>brand coffee makers like the nestle ones or lavazza. only their own brands can be inserted in their machines. the money comes from the coffee pods, not the actual machine selling.
>glade auto air fresher. the actual machine is sold in ali baba for like $1. the money comes from the inside can replacement which can only be used with Glade products, etc

theres nothing lazy about it, its a strategy to hook up a consumer to buy your replacements.
the real lazy shit i see here is that americunts cant fucking use a knife and chop their fruits and use a basic fruit juicer

...

Juicegate scam

Except this machine is really expensive

>end stage capitalism

They're selling you a bag of juice and something to squeeze the bag of juice, it's not like selling razors and razorblades since youdon't need one to use the other

the juicero team

always is , try coming up with some crazy idea urself and ull see zero donations , yet somehow the most retarded ones always get in the millions and usually never deliver

>bad press
Fuckin hell, user

>the real lazy shit i see here is that americunts cant fucking use a knife and chop their fruits and use a basic fruit juicer

I just buy fruit juice from the store.

God, I hate people like that. The guy(s) who came up with it also thought about making the machines dependent on their proprietary autistic bags which would increase their profits further. It's like following a "start your own business 101" book word-to-word like a fucking monkey without thinking about any side consequences whatsoever. The fact that people like that get funded is simply mindblowing.

God, where did I see this before? It was either on shark tank, or some other retarded shit where they were trying to play this thing off as the next big Keurig machine, raised MILLIONS of dollars to get the company off the ground, $500 machine to press a juice bag into your cup. Someone with half a brain asked why a $10 pulpy juice bag being squeezed from a $500 machine would ever sell, and how was the machine special?

Uh, its got over 3 tons of force, and its a patented design, and you can only order the juice from us!

and its still in business making the founder a multi-millionaire. I think this is the new get-rich quick scheme, make some marketing wank, startup with investors and become ultra rich, then disappear with the money.

I mean, I dont believe not even for a second that this bag contains actual real solid pieces of fruit.

First of all, if the machine did an actual squishing, the bag would burst because of the inside air being pressed. Second of all, you'd need some kind of filter to separate the actual juice from the fruit remains (pulp), why do you think a fruit juicer has a round bowl-like blade? it uses centrifuge to separate water from the solid pulp.
Third, there are already juice companies that sell real freshly squeezed fruit juice with no chemicals, you know those juice bottles that go bad just after a day because its actual fruit.
this flabbergasts me

I saw this on a recent casey neistat video. It looks stupid

If it's VC-funded, it's shit. No exceptions. Simple rule to live by.

>Silicon Valley
Calexit couldn't happen any faster.

>America.jpg

I just came up with a great idea. A machine that opens cans for you and dispenses the contents in to a bowl for your consumption, but get this - it only works with our proprietary cans so we can charge the consumers more money!

Don't steal my idea please, I'm taking this to the patent office.

yeah besides that. like i said, the strategy works, but there are some dumb motherfuckers out there that skipped or didn't understand that business book chapter

You know what i would look for in a juicer, one that , you know, makes juice from whatever I put in it.
You know what i'm not looking for in a juicer?
A glorified caprisun straw that costs four hundred dollars.

im not defending them. the strategy is real and it works, but the people who tried to use that strategy with this failure of a juice presser are dumb fucks who didn't understand how it works

youll get zero donations , the people who have successful startup always have ((connections))

>mfw the botnet won't let me squeeze my own juices

>I said bag of juice, not bag of Jews!

I just don't understand how someone could sit through that pitch and then green light an investment. It's such an obviously flawed idea. I could maybe see this working as a vending machine but even that is far fetched and nullifies the whole DRM aspect and all that.

>zero diversity

No wonder it failed

>capitalism creates innovative and useful products

Give me a quick rundown on the VC jews.Whats their endgame?

oh, so it was dipshits libs throwing their money at a progressive, diverse group of "engineers"
Did the juices have a lot of buzz words like "organic"

this kind of bullshit is just a constant side-effect of mass media advertising. you can always sell ANYTHING to SOMEONE, if you can find them, and MSM makes that possible. skymall, as-seen-on-tv, half of all profitable crowd-funding campaigns.

It's like something from a sitcom. It's like something Kramer would come up with.

"Ok, so this $400 device is a juicer. Can I put any vegetable or fruit I want in it?"

"Well no, you can only put our proprietary bags in it."

"What is in these bags?"

"Juice."

"But then why do I need a $400 juicer?"

"To get the juice out."

"Why can't you just sell the pouches on their own with a straw like a Capri Sun?"

"JERRY YOU'RE A GENIUS."

Then creating a juice bag club like the dollar shave club, getting that residual muhknees every month, locking people into contracts... people must have a dozen or so monthly contracts, box clubs now (Netflix, shave club, Spotify, Amazon prime, those food club chef things (blue apron/purple carrot), trunk club for clothes, makeup/glossybox/birchbox,popsugar club, wine club (clubw)/beer club/spirits like bespoke club, pasta club, fruit club, sock club ($12 a month, KEK), books like owl crate club
KEK exactly... people don't realize or maybe they do, how easy this shit adds up...

BULLETBALL!

this is why I hate Amerifats

SHART

So basically the spout has a valve that requires x amount of force to push the juice through it.

because you're right, it couldn't be fruit because pulp would clog the spout AND any filter that could fit in that narrow spout REAL fast

>not even an engineer I just know what mashing berries do to my colander to clog it up immediately

might as well rail lines of sugar

Guys what if we made memes that could only be used on Sup Forums?

we'd be rich

Shut up user! We can make one that is a TOOTHPASTE SQUEEZER!! Wi-fi enabled, social, heck make a toothpaste of the month club, and a floss club!

lel

rent-seeking will make you do crazy things

i buy those from sainsburys and they're good. Not everyone wants tucked in shirts.

anyone who'd touch the bag, or cut one open, would know instantly.

On the one hand, the only way to know this is if you're actually on reddit too. But, I guess I'm glad people like you exist to call out your fellow redditors and let the rest of us know the score who never set foot on that SJW authoritarian shitheap.

tl;dr - i'll gas you last

i giggled
underrated

>put on shirt
>dont tuck it in

there, now pay me $

Capitalism will never work.
Capitalism assumes the people are rational and sceptical.

Except it's even worse then that. All you have to do is cut open the bag and squeeze it out yourself. The machine literally doesn't do anything to the liquid from what I understand.

10/10 would watch

They can see your belly when you lift your arms. It's fucking lame and disgusting

>100% hispanic
What a surprise, they raised $100 million+ in diversity bux basically

Sell sell sell those subscriptions!

You may only use our proprietary toothpaste pouches made by us, for only $59.99 per tube. Each tube contains enough paste for up to 12 brushings!

The squeezer can produce up to 3000 inch-ounces of force to produce a volumetrically consistent amount of organic paste to your brush!

you know they already made dress shirts that are designed to not be tucked in

Communism assumes people aren't lazy.

>Drinking juice to begin with
That way the sugar just enters your blood stream way faster. It is healthier to just eat the fruit itself

>inb4 shares tank, Juicero goes bankrupt and is purchased by the Sup Forums group, who make alterations to the design and repackage it as a machine that can press Jews with up to four tons of force.

...

You know, I can clearly see a one-world government where you are REQUIRED to buy these machines because they can ensure the safety of your juice, and no more raw fruits will be sold due to possible contamination.

think of the children!

Instructions on how to use it
youtu.be/-i0UugILBJg

Sounds like one step above plumber's crack.