Juicero
>$120M in investment
>makes a $400 (formerly $799) always online "juice" press, that requires a smartphone app
>it squeezes DRM protected propietary pouches of ground up fruit/vegetables to produce juice that are $7 each for 200gms (8 ounce), the pouches have QR codes and can be disabled remotely
>turns out you can get the same results by squeezing the pouches with your hands
bloomberg.com
youtu.be
How to use it
youtu.be
Ad for it:
youtu.be
Other urls found in this thread:
kickstarter.com
vimeo.com
medium.com
youtube.com
youtu.be
finance.yahoo.com
twitter.com
>the pouches have QR codes and can be disabled remotely
what
> in b4 retard neckbeards who dont drink fresh juice say this is overly ornate and difficult
posting in a weimar republic thread
kickstarter.com
dont forget this too vimeo.com
Drink water you fucking failure
>botnet in a juicer
Topkek this isn't the future I was promised. It probably records how much you drink, at what time, favourite flavours etc. for marketers.
inb4 it's a theater created by a billionaire cartel with fuckhuge short positions accumulated since 2010 dangling over the precipice held back by federal credit bonanza and they need a catalyst to make everyone think "that's it, this is peak bubble, I'm out"
>drinking fresh juice
>not eating fruits without losing the healthy parts
you did this to yourself
Did somebody tell Sup Forums about this? They'd have a field day with this.
You don't want your juice going bad, do you goyim? Better drink up quick or we're disabling it for your own safety.
Oops, looks like your $50 box containing 5 glasses worth of juice got delivered a little later than expected and your packs have gone bad on arrival. Looks like you're going to have to buy a new box.
Now your phone isn't working or your internet is down? More packs you dumb go-- err, I mean fellow juicer.
and probably has microphones and even cameras built in. it's literally on stand by and connected to the wi-fi 24/7. and dont forget google is involved. wouldn't be surprised if this is a full spy suite.
the real reason is because they dont want you to buy third-party bags that lets you put in your own fruits since the juicero guys can only ship out to 17 states.
That's one kikey looking jewrat.
After looking at this video vimeo.com
I think this guy is on the wrong track. Instead of Juicer he should market this as a mashable. Looks like it would be good for premaking mashed potatoes, mashed carrots and mashed turnips etc....
i think it's more of a gimmick than to prevent you from making your own juice. the bags are basically pre-juiced anyway, the press doesn't do much.
its a jew, stop overcomplicating things
Let's make tech companies Sup Forums
I'll start: a $15k robot that takes up space in your hallway that's connected to sensors in your clothes. When the robot detects you've washed a piece of clothing more than 10 times it starts singing goldminer tunes while mining dogecoins and when it has earned $10 it leverages it 5000 to 1 in a wild forex gambling operation which if profitable buys you a new pair of socks on average once every two years but they're Brand socks with sensors so it's good.
im in
Fucking kek.
I just pasted this comment all over every jewcer ovideo I could find.
Saw the tranny and the jew in the picture and immediately knew dis is gonna be gud.
What's even the point of this thread?
how is that more complicated? the press machine literally doesn't do anything, you can squeeze the bags by hand.
2k people backed that for 180k+, why do you need an internet connected toaster? Getting retarded at this point.
So what's the problem with normal juiceboxes then? Why do I need proprietary JuiceBags(tm)? Why must I pay some kike $400 for a hydrualic press to squeeze a bag? I can squeeze a bag with my hands.
Nothing about this makes sense.
see
Because it's organic and premium
Celebrate the downfall of Rome.
happy merchant figurines
>A person close to the company said Juicero is aware the packs can be squeezed by hand but that most people would prefer to use the machine because the process is more consistent and less messy.
lel
Shoes with soles that convert walking to electricity. Your phone gets a free recharge every two months. The shoes cost $2k and the battery dies every two years, costing $450 in proprietary repairs. The shoes are also internet connected to a village in Kenya and sends them a couple Cartel credits every time you walk into Cartel businesses and spend at least 50000 Bonzi Buddy Cash.
IT'S SO FRESH IT SHOULDN'T EVEN BE CALLED JUICE
IT SHOULD BE CALLED 'SQUASHED PRODUCE'
It's not even hydraulic. That would only have been an requirement if you really needed a significant amount of pressure at very low noise levels, which is not the case when just squeezing liquid out of a sponge and out of a bag.
Case in point of western decadency.
Genius, I'll preorder 2
>making sure the juice is a puree
So less healthy.
Ahahhaa. You think someone could write shit like this without being on drugs? I dont think its possible for a healthy brain to do it otherwise.
I think the reality is a lot of investors are old cunts and invest in anything with WIFI CONNECTION etc now.
Dotcom bubble all over again.
Silly goy, it's not about your product at all; it's about how you market your garbage.
COLD PRESSED JEWS
the product never shipped, they all got ripped off. apparently there are a lot of people scamming kickstarter with fake startups.
i guess that's true but 3rd party juice bags that would work on it are equally retarded if only 10% less
...
>be Google
>want to rule the world
>an asshole has a brilliant idea
>privatize kitchen to control people with stupid ipod blender or whatever
>he's a fucking vegan, he only wants to make spinach juice
>well, fuck
>throw a bunch of millions at him and acquire intellectual property in the process
>wait for his stupid project to crash and burn
>in 10 years, use same tech to make google oven, google cupboard and google ashtray
...
Chief executive Jeff Dunn said the criticism overlooked the "experience" of the machine.
He claimed the "hacking" of the pouches did not produce the same quality of juice. saying the machine was calibrated to deal with different ingredients differently.
But Juicero has now given customers the chance to return the machine and get their money back, including those who bought it at its launch price of $699
In his blog post Mr Dunn, a former Coca-Cola executive, said that the machine - or 'press' - along with packs of fresh organic produce and a smartphone app combined to "enable a great experience".
The app lets users buy packets of ingredients which cost between $5 and $8 (only people who've bought the machine can order them) - and sends alerts when the produce is going out of date.
And Mr Dunn said that because each pouch of fruit and vegetables was individually tagged, the firm could remotely disable them "..if there is, for example, a spinach recall. In these scenarios, we're able to protect our consumers in real-time".
"The value of Juicero is more than a glass of cold-pressed juice. Much more," wrote Mr Dunn.
"The value is in how easy it is for a frazzled dad to do something good for himself while getting the kids ready for school, without having to prep ingredients and clean a juicer. It's in how the busy professional who needs more greens in her life gets app reminders to press produce packs before they expire, so she doesn't waste the hard-earned money she spent on them."
so not fresh?
>legalize and promote marijuana everywhere
>all objectively thrown into the trash
>everything that once sounded retard while not high, now sounds amazing
>populace now obediently dependent on products created by those who were high
>youtu.be
>They need to fucking explain how to unbox it.
It's really made for the braindead.
wtf is this and why do you put your juice in packs and dont just buy fresh fruits to make juice f you want to lmao
also juice is shit, same shi as coffee and tea but expensive, sugar is death
nigga you saw this on world star didn't you?
>without having to prep ingredients and clean a juicer
oh thats seems legit, no srsly, if i could afford i would buy
>implying this is any different from legalizing alcohol
I don't understand the $120m. I can understand $20m easily, but over $30m for this is insane. What would they need the money for?
>He claimed the "hacking" of the pouches did not produce the same quality of juice
And that whole last quote screams of upper class mongs.
>MUH BUSY PROFESSIONALS
These sort of people are awful, on a recent UK politics show we had one literally say
>Without all the immigration, who will make my coffee in pret!
(Pret being a British starbucks knockoff)
>hacking
really, what a bunch of morons
A 32 GB ram WIFI InternetofThings lunchbox that attempts to calculate your caloric intake with a script within a framework within a frmawork within a framework algorithm. If you exceed your limit it converts audio cues from the environment into wild $50 Brand (tm) gluten-free cornflakes shopping sprees until your credit card is maxed out. The cornflakes are DRMd and ferment themselves into a yellowy alcohol soup if the mouth does not have the owner's licensed to eat DNA profile.
> same shi as coffee and tea but expensive
And what do you drink? Vodka?
Objectivity, not courage. Also, people are getting high for the entire day, and not just after work.
ijuice!
You fuck around to buy a stupid fucking overpriced squeezer that for some motherfucking stupid reason requires an app ( A FUCKING APP! ) to operate so you can squeeze a bag full of overpriced fucking pulp?
Then you fuck around to recycle the fucking bags?
You have got to be fucking kidding me?
People buy into this retarded shit?
Noooooo! Nooooooo! I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT!
Sort of off topic.
/fit-pol/, what are some good batch recipes for those who'd rather only cook once or twice a week?
anything sold as a solution to being "busy" is probably a complete piece of shit and cause more trouble and do a half assed job
Woah... So this is the power. Of capitalism.
I remember one machine, which could do from 1 little cup of ingredients 1 liter of cola. Don't know if they still producing them
You have never been to Austria. It's not as bad as in the CzR but people also show up shitfaced at work.
just cook a lot of rice and some meat and reheat it on the stove
I didn't think about that. I have a juicer that was 300 or $400 and I haven't used it in over five years because of how much of a pain it was to clean. It would also smell bad real quick.
Pasta Bolognese or any other pasta sauce really, and Curries are great, you make a batch and cook pasta/bolognese fresh when you eat it.
Shepard's/cottage pie too, you make individual portions in small dishes and freeze them until needed.
>do what you did a few years ago for over a month and then got bored and stopped working out entirely
Yeah, but the point is that you don't need to buy a $400 machine to press the juice. They could have just sold the bags and you could just press it with your hands, and you still wouldn't need to clean or prep anything.
>pasta/bolognese
I meant pasta/rice
how does Indonesia stay so based?
population of 263 mil which is 4th in the world
but you never hear a peep from them other than people winning a trip there on Wheel of Fortune
Why is it so high there? Culture?
Doug is a filthy juice piece of shit. Fucking kike should hang
So about 7 bucks per drink
let's calculate with a couple without kids
each person drinks 2 a day
It's over 800 bucks for a month to drink this shit.
A company that aims to replace all the world's exercise bikes with special $50k machines that produce enough green electricity to power two small LEDs. The electricity profit is split between the company and the gym. $500 million IPO easy
I'm almost convinced kickstarter is just a money laundering enterprise
Any specific guidelines/recipes for the absolute ignorant, lazy cooks?
Yet 95% of the time something evil or degenerate happens it's a fucking kike from a microscopic population. Think of those odds.
>IMPLICATIONS
idk
i do it for the cheap calories and good taste. throw a bunch of soy sauce and hot sauce on and it is easy.
>advertising your juicer with a kike and a dyke
whoever bought one deserves whatever they get
I don't think i want some jews knowing when I'm having some mashed potatoes
>British retard who doesn't even make his fucking juice himself
This.
>dad getting the kids ready for school
That's a woman's job
Remember finance.yahoo.com
Grilled Cheese is about to make a comeback, remember Goy buy low and sell high. This stock is oversold.
Google it I guess?
I mean cottage pie is just beef mince cooked in a pan, with some carrot, mushrooms, onions, whatever other vegetables you want, in gravy with some herbs (proper gravy, not that cum coloured yank stuff) with a topping of mashed potato instead of pastry.
...
shitty coffe and tea, juice is literally dibetics tier because of fucking fructose, which is sugar
MISS ME YET?
good night doggo
The best part is that it is less fresh than just fucking pressing the fruit / vegetables yourself
crickey
>"The value is in how easy it is for a frazzled dad to do something good for himself while getting the kids ready for school, without having to prep ingredients and clean a juicer. It's in how the busy professional who needs more greens in her life gets app reminders to press produce packs before they expire, so she doesn't waste the hard-earned money she spent on them."
>frazzled dad getting the kids ready for school
>the busy professional who needs more greens in her life
Fucking Jews, they never stop, do they?
>so she doesn't waste the hard-earned money she spent on them
