LEL
LEL
>this rules over America
LEL
Absolutely disgusting
I saw a video debunking this, apparently you can squeeze the same quality of juice out of those bags by hand, and don't need the $500 press.
>Ivanka is a walking ad.
At least post the link faggot.
>YOUR JUICER IS A MESS!
Post all of em I. Was too lazy just use ((gizmodo))
gizmodo.com
Nazi's loved juice, they couldn't stop glassing it to the point that no remains were ever found.
Now look at this Sup Forums Ivanke Drumpfler (port-manteau of DRUMPF and Hitler) drinks juice too.
I hope you're fucking happy.
oy vey we must think of the gas goy
They'll fix that in the $600 version
America firs-
Ivanka is a fucking airhead. I followed her Twitter for some time, and Jesus fucking Christ. This moron has an IQ in double digits.
All she posts is trash. Not a single original idea, no values, it's all just ''hey, check out this top 10 list of things to do haha'', ''check out pictures of my kids haha''.
>these are the leaders of the world
>Blonde hair
>blue eyes
>daughter of "literally hitler"
>wants to glass the juice
Confirmed /ourgirl/
I love her insta, her daughter is really cute.
>blue eyes
Shes a fucking billionaire.
The product makes sense for her.
Just like gold plated headphones.
We only mock poorfags buying overpriced shit.
>We
>Paying 400 dollars for a matching that presses cut fruit.
>Using you hands and u only pay 7 buck for the bag.
Perhaps the wall is too much.
The name sounds like something from The Simpsons.
lets be honest nobody wants to sit there and squeeze it by hand so Sup Forums is wrong about that, the machine does in fact serve a purpose
the problem i have with the machine is that its not actually fresh juice because apples and other produce start to deteriorate and turn brown and shit when theyre cut up almost immediately
its no longer fresh when its like that in a bag form all chopped up...... its basically a canned food not even healthy anymore
>drink the juice
>pee out the juice
>i have thus eliminated the juice
I don't think you can order these bags without having a press
>Be insanely wealthy
>Like these bagged smoothies that your maid puts in the machine when you wake up
>could just take them out of the cabinet and squeeze them myself
>but that might get my shirt worth more than 5 of theses machines dirty.
>we
The wall just got 9,427 miles longer you filthy bogan.
>lets be honest nobody wants to sit there and squeeze it by hand
You can get an illegal Mexican to do this for 50 cents an hour
AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA FUCKING KEK
shoutout to the based aussie that spammed juicio threads last week
Or you know
Picking up fucking bottle of juice from the organic section
Or if you really can't leave your PC
A delivery service from a juice bar
Oh no where oh where can we ever get bags of fruit??
I get the cold press thing, it is something for the autistic juice lover, something you can't just do with your hands like they do in the videos, it won't taste the same. It's like a coffee, you can't make an espresso by hand, you need a tool, same with a french press coffee
the problem with the juicero is that is way too complicated and expensive, it's something the mainstream market won't get, it's only for autistic rich people
well, she is a woman
so halfway juicing fruit, shipping it to you, making you pay for a machine, making you connect it to wifi, making you subscribe, is better than just juicing it into a bottle. kys.
>burgers finally start accepting bagged beverage superiority
She never said this, just checked.
Yeah, you made me look.
There's some ideas which haven't been made yet because to the average person they realize some ideas are just stupid. A 500$ juice presser is one of those ideas. Not even the chinks were greedy enough to think to make a knock off product of something so stupid and unnecessarily expensive.
fun fact is that cat is perfectly fine. they survive any fall since their terminal velocity aint shit to them
we've got you covered, goy! we've even pre-squeezed them with our patented HoloJuice™
for me i just use an actual real juicer
you have to be careful though you dont really find non pasteurized juice on the shelf in too many places
in america atleast
dude i didnt say i liked the machine
Sup Forums was saying it was a dumb idea the other day because you could just squeeze the bags
but i was saying thats not even the main issue for me
im saying its not real juice anymore because its halfway juiced and deteriorates immediately
and the only person who would want a cold pressed juice is looking for the health benefits of freshly juiced juice , but you dont find that with this
>buy $400 juicer
>”early bird” buy at $700
>$5-8 per sachet (makes 1 glass of juice)
>the scam is called “jew-sero”
>promoted by Ivanka Kushner
At first I laughed, but then I realized that never mind the juice scam, Americans have elected a president following the same scam.
LEL x 3
ivanka what are you doing?
>there's a juicero in the white house right now
>the Trump family drinks from it every morning and smiles
We could have had Don Jr instead of this.
Kill me now.
>cold pressing juice
And they say Hitler was evil
>tfw North Korea wins by low earth orbit cat troopers
Best timeline.
You could have had Ron Paul but you ignored him you inbred American fucks.
You of all countries don't get to criticize anybody on elected leaders
>cold pressed juice
When did this become a thing?
Didn't we have a thread like this a few days ago?
Is this some kind of message directed at us?
Is Ivanka browsing Sup Forums?
Someone literally posted the link to the tweet in this thread.
She literally looks like a bleach blonde skinny version of Kim Kardashian.
Ron Paul is/was a wingnut. No wonder you ended up with a hipster high school teacher as premier.
It's a useless marketing buzz word
I want to cold press your butt.
>ivanka trump in favour of bombing syria
>suddenly our media is all out saying ivanka is the best thing about trump
really made me sink
You cannot make this shit up. US politics and the presidency is turning into a shitshow.
it's been years, but it became a meme in liberal cities since obama's second term
people buy them cause they're new and they're stupid
>juicer connects via WiFi
>checks QR code expiry date on bag
>won't press your $8 expired bag that arrived late
>it's for your own (((safety)))
next development:
> (((juicer will automatically order new bags for you)))
we /idiocracy/ now
>I saw a video debunking this, apparently you can squeeze the same quality of juice out of those bags by hand, and don't need the $500 press.
no way, idunbeleevit
chinaman may make it, but the problem is it needs the juice packets to work
it costs that much cause of the service, and the parts its made it's something america should be proud, everything is well made with metal parts and quality plastic, but it's overengineered as if a german made it
>juicer will automatically destroy itself when warranty runs out
no you guys are blue pill and drinking pasteurized juice ur whole life
they heat your shit to high temperature and it takes out all the nutrition so it lasts longer on the shelf so they can sell it to you and make money
you guys are the fools
>it's all just ''hey, check out this top 10 list of things to do haha'', ''check out pictures of my kids haha''.
that's 96% of the internet that's not porn
>juicer will automatically order newer model right before self destruction
You need to go back to plebbit.
>>Using you hands
like a sucker
ivanka needs to be gassed
I swear I hate Ivanka more and more every day. Cunt needs to be thrown out of the White House.
>juicer will automatically call the police if you try and tamper with leased juicero juice packages
youtube.com
It's a big scam to get more people to share their information.
This machine needs Wifi to operate. Also you can't buy the bags without having the machine beforehand. You can look up the name and heritage of the (((creator))) behind this machine. I've spoiled it already.
ITT: Sup Forums laughs at Ivanka and acts like they themselves have never been scammed by Jews before
you just have to buy the machine to "activate" them
wh-what
...
>no way, idunbeleevit
Whoway! I saw it too. It started a thread here on the canyonero...er....juceiro.
>juicer will automatically place craigslist ad for a mandingo to keep your wife occupied while you are in jail for copyright infringement
no ivanka pls stop pls
>Sup Forums laughs at Ivanka and acts like they themselves have never been scammed by Jews before
Ivanka IS the jew who scammed us, we are laughing at ourselves.
>100% pasteurized cold pressed ingredients
Just eat pears. They grow on trees that can subsist on Sun and rainfall both of which are free. Or you can buy like 15 whole pears for the cost of one of these glasses of juice. Then you can spit the seeds out in your back yard and in a while they will turn into an unlimited source of free pears. Am I missing something? Am I crazy? What the fuck?
Idranka my juice
now that i look at it , it seems as if the shit in that bag is already 100% just juice in there
juiced before hand LMAO and gives you the placebo effect like theres vegetables and fruits in there
I only drink water from reverse osmosis, it's the safest thing around here. I don't fall for the sugary jew
They're not too smart in Estonia huh
Ha. The jew invented reverse osmosis filters.
I find it funny when people say this
They don't realize how much world peace there is in idiocracy
There's no racism and sex is everywhere
Everyone has a job and suicide is probably down by a lot they all look pretty happy everyone gets laid everyone gets paid
Medicare looked fuck easy
It's honestly the best future
>by hand
You're underestimating the profound laziness and apathy of the average American citizen.
juice will explode in your hands if you violate NAP and try to access the proprietary "fruit water substance" without using the ijuice system.
wtf are they thinking? LOL
I wonder what happens if you put your hand in there.
Woah.
>juicer provides video and audio evidence for your trial and publishes your entire internet search history and activity, judge only needs to read the generated qr code which also legally binds juicero juicer to him as new owner with a duty to pay for subscription for at least 1 year
...
>it's literally $7 bags of juice you pay $400 for your DRM equipped juicer to squeeze for you
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
ya and thats why i juice things like kale and lemon and cucumber and celery and only a little bit of apple
and keep it low sugar
and you get a lot of health benefits
doesnt mean ur just chugging sugar all the time
and you get all ur vital nutrition you need every day
i dont fall for the under nourished meme