HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING, CODE RED BROS
WASHINGTON POST
Looks like Comey won't have to give a testimony after all! On Wednesday,Independent investigator Robert Mueller announced that his investigation of Donald Trump had produced "enormous, incontrovertible and disturbing evidence" that the failed former president committed treason by colluding with Russia to steal November's election from President Hillary Rodham Clinton.
At a press conference, Mueller teary eyed and exhausted said it's his recommendation that the Department of Justice indict Trump as a traitor - a crime that, if proven in court, is punishable to extreme lengths. He also recommended Trump to be detained at Gitmo (A prison he proposed to keep opened) throughout the duration of the trial
"Hillary Clinton's staggering 3 million-vote victory at the ballot box ensured that Trump's brazen attempt to contravene OUR American democracy and betray his fellow citizens were ultimately unsuccessful. But our independent investigation of Trump's ties to Putin has produced conclusive proof that Trump worked with an enemy of America, and his campaign actively called on Russian agents to commit crimes against his rival, including hacking her emails. Tonight I have learned the future is female"
At one point, Mueller referred to Trump as "the greatest traitor since Benedict Arnold and the Rosenbergs." Chants of "Lock Him Up" "Fuck Barron" and "Kathy Griffin was right" could be heard from the streets.
In an emergency press conference Paul Ryan apologized to Clinton for both violating her Constitutional rights and abusing the powers of his office and violating her rights in the course of investigating her emails in communications with Congress and subsequently sliced his abdomen open in what appeared to be a katana sword
"Ryan dishonred our institution and shamed his ancestors, he did all that could be done" said Chuck Schumer
"He was already dead" said an Anonymous GOP congressman
