CNN BREAKING NEWS

CNN BREAKING NEWS

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RUSSIANS HACKED HIS TWITTER

he died this morning, choked on a chicken bone

IT'S HAPPENING

2 scoops. 1 more than guests...
Panel discussion with Chris Cillizza.

WE CAN NOW OFFICIALLY CONFIRM

CHECKED WE SPOKE TO A HIGH LEVEL ANONYMOUS SOURCE TODAY

THE ANONYMOUS SOURCES OF OUR ANONYMOUS SOURCES SUGGEST

How do we break the news to CNN that they're not a news channel anymore?

Did somebody have to sit down with the National Enquirer to tell them nobody cared about Batboy? I don't know how these things go, all I know is CNN is officially a dead network.

They're becoming more and more dependent on him

SOMEONE FAMILIAR WITH THE THINKING OF SOMEONE WHO IS FAMILIAR WITH THE THINKING OF AN ANONYMOUS SOURCE

Ok, I agree now, Trump should stop tweeting, altogether, with no warning, or press release.
Just stop tweeting for like a month and then start again by making fun of the media

These folks are literally eating out of the palm of his hand at this point.

Their entire day to day business relies solely on one man making a comment 140 characters or less.

This is the absolute definition of cucking a business.

Shit....
DEFCON 2

>you will never get paid by CNN to sit around and refresh Trump's Twitter page all day

reminder that as most of the other (((news))) was covering the failed dumpster bombings of NYC, CNN was reporting on pic

WE CAN NEITHER CONFIRM OR DENY A 3RD SCOOP AT THIS MOMENT

WE GOT 5 ANYLISTS ON THE DESK TODAY TO DISCUSS THIS OUTRAGEOUS MOVE FROM THE DONALD TRUMP

>CNN
HAHAH TRUMP TWEETED THREE (3!) TIMES TODAY!

>CNN
HAHAH TRUMP HASNT TWEETED IN THREE (3!) DAYS!

THREEEEEE
F(UUUUUUCKING
SCOOOOOOPS!???????????

WTF, I love it when he tweets now

A WHITEHOUSE INSIDER HAS INDICATED OFF-RECORD THAT SOMEBODY IN THE KITCHEN STAFF HAS LEAKED THE ICE CREAM AND DONALD TRUMP WAS WAS IN SUCH A RAGE THEY HAD TO CANCEL THE MEETING WITH THE KING OF ASIA.

>tfw you realize Chris Cillizza is literally getting paid for an "analysis" of Trump's recent lack of tweets.

ANONYMOUS SOURCES HAVE PROVIDED US WITH A COPY OF A CLASSIFIED WHITE HOUSE KITCHEN MENU, CONFIRMING THAT TWO SCOOPS ARE A REGULAR OPTION FOR PRESIDENT TRUMP

CNN'S DON LEMON WITH MORE ON THIS STORY

WE HAVE SCHLOMO GOLDSTEIN ON THE ANYLISTS DESK TODAY DISCUSSING HOW HIS TWITTER ABSENCE NEGATIVELY INFLUENCES RACE RELATIONS IN THE UNITED STATES

An anonymous outside White House insider source has confirmed the president is charging his phone. We cannot confirm if he will tweet from any other electronic device however higu ranking non disclosed sources verified it is his phone

Stay tuned to CNN, please

He tweeted on June 7th, took at break on the 8th, then started tweeting again early on the morning of the 9th.

And CNN freaks out over this.

>>Trump needs to stop tweeting!

>(He doesn't tweet for 22.5 hours

>>OMG WTF I'm freaking out because Trump isn't tweeting??!

(((CNN))) and western (((media)))

Hah no
youtube.com/watch?v=tb5PPnuu3bs

well this is a pretty big deal, I mean, if trump doesn't tweet then what exactly is CNN supposed to talk about?

he's being told by his $1500/hr lawyer Mark Kasowitz (or whatever his name) to shut the fuck up about russia

which is a good thing to be honest.

>2017
>this is real news
can't make this shit up

>Barron isn't able to masturbate in fear of a staffmember hearing it and leaking it to CNN
Pretty sad desu

+ two scoops of ice cream

>Did somebody have to sit down with the National Enquirer to tell them nobody cared about Batboy?
Batbot was Weekly World News.

>please

like a crack hoe

an anonymous insider source in the intelligence community formally informally familiar with trump's brainwaves has CONFIRMED that he has abstained from twitter out of GUILT.

he is FINISHED

>implying Baron isnt on Sup Forumsootcamp right now
>implying that if spotted he will do anything else but look the person in the eye and finish as per protocol
>implying he wont cum on everything in the white house, keep pictures and timestamps for future use and quality shiposting after the 8 glorious years
>implying even the deep state will dare touch Trumps child

>Reverse image searched
>Nicholas Cage could have been Aragorn

Holy fucking shit. We got lucky he wasn't.
Viggo Mortensen is an awesome guy and perfect Aragorn.
youtube.com/watch?v=NbY1jP1gOaA
>If we flip over, just save yourself. I can't swim.
Still makes me laugh all these years later.

do autists even wank?

CNN posting might just be my favorite new meme

>CNN posting might just be my favorite new meme

fucking this. infused with colbert posting it's become my favorite meme of 2017 so far. let's see if it tops the ted cruz redemption arc of 2016.

3 times this morning...

Are you aware of where you are?

This is how you run a mayor news corporation brainlet trumptards

PRESS F TO PAY RESPECTS

WTF i hate Trump now

Trump rules the news media... they NEED him for the ratings... they are actually SCARED he may NOT tweet anymore.

ofc. he produce the news , whatever they are. No matter how bad he might be, he still makes decisions that the press wants to know about. I would love to see him go silent for 1 month just to see left media freak out .

BREAKING NEWS
TEENAGE BOY MASTURBATES

I think it's safe to say CNN really knows where it's at when it comes to anything.

They really know their stuff!

Does that mean that Brazil has a more legitimate claim on HK than the CCP?

Reddit flipped out when he started tweeting again in the morning..

THIS JUST IN OUR UNIDENTIFIED SOURCE SAYS WHAT I UNDERSTAND TO BE 3 SCOOPS OF ICE CREAM. MAY GOD HELP US ALL

BREAKING NEWS

THIS JUST IN

WE ARE GETTING REPORTS FROM A SOURCE IN THE WHITE HOUSE

DONALD TRUMP EATS HIS STEAK WITH KETCHUP

you've heard of chris chan haven't you?

Not a single fucking word about the UK election. WTF?

>DRUMPF TWEETS TOO MUCH

>DRUMPF DOESN'T TWEET ENOUGH

What's there to day? There was a reallocation of seats, it seems to have blown up in May's face a bit unless that's what the Torys were intending, and now we have to wait and see how things go.

It's not like anybody needs to be singled out for congratulations or wished a better brexit or whatever else.