Relationship advice

Not many people i can talk about this to and this board is probably the place where im the most likely to have somebody that can relate to my issue. Beside anywhere on Sup Forums outside of that board is a degenerate cesspit I instantly regret it every time i get out of there

I've been with my gf for 12 years since im 19 so over a third of my life. We were both your standard atheist lefty fag who dont want any kind because muh hedonism/yolo. Over the years as I grew up I became progressively more right wing and she basically stayed the same. It's clearly beginning to create frictions on both sides.
Now Im the polar opposite : I want children (tfw wanting kids is basically a right wing idea these days), im against state intervention in most things, I hate progressive shit, Im religious-curious you could say etc etc you guys know what a right winger is. She hates islam and is kind of xenophobic but outside of that, she's your cliche leftist on virtually all aspects.

She's also extremely immature when it comes to political debate it always devolves into insults and yelling unless we mostly agree so ''redpilling'' is far from easy, if even possible.

If the relationship was a month old, I would instantly leave but its been 12 fucking years I literally dont know what life is without her I kind of feel committed you know ?
I know how fucking shitty the average woman nowadays is and im not sure ive the energy to deal with this shit. Im talking shit about her right now but she has a lot of quality that most women dont have I know she's much better than the average not even close. I really feel like I would regret it deeply if i left her over this is it even that important ? So i'm kind of lost here, what should I do ?

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Find common ground. Try to convince her if you think your argument is better. Genuinely listen to her reasoning, especially when you disagree.

how important is politics for her? you guys could try talking about it.

This, pretty much. Have a long, frank and open discussion with her. If you can't learn to at least tolerate each others' political views then you should get out before it's too late. I hope you can work things out.

Women can't be redpilled.

There's a reason women always vote more left than men on average.

It's genetic.

You can try to convince her, but it's likely you'll just blow out. Remember, most people aren't going to understand concepts the way you do. The reason you are asking here is because we're also autists that speak your language. She doesn't.

You need to speak to her in her language, and that will probably be emotion and experiential. Instead of trying to convince her of things, try to get her involved in experiences that will cause her mind to change, or at least that can soften her or give more ground for a discussion. Your goal should be to make her more open to you, and then state what you want. Don't try to convince or debate her. Soften her up, then let her know that you are embarking on a certain adventure, and invite her to come with you.

As for how to soften her up, I don't know. I was in a similar position (although only 4 years) and I blew out trying to persuade her and got kicked to the curb. She told me that she thought marriage was oppressive, kids were parasites, etc. 6 months later, she confesses that she was just frightened, and that I was right to bring those things up, but that I was too blunt. And she thinks I was right. And she now wants a traditional relationship...with the new guy she is seeing.

Maybe see if she wants to go to church with you? And if you need a soft way to make an atheist understand why you are getting interested in religion, then Jordan Peterson is your man.

I might try talking a little more emotionally when I talk politics i tend to be very cold and rational that might work a little better if I was appealing to emotions a little

What about the children though ? It's exponentially more important than the rest.

I kind of feel like shit in that because it's me who changed so its kind of my fault in a way.

There is something inherently wrong with a woman who doesn't want kids... Considering it's their only true purpose in life. Sounds to me like her brain has been poisoned by the electric jew, user.

If you truly have accepted Right wing views on politics and life (read: matured and come to your senses), you will never be happy with a woman who has not. Especially one who won't bear you children. She will probably drive you crazy desu senpai.

If I were you, I'd sit her down and tell her honestly where you're at and how you feel. You love her and you want a family with her. Make kids a deal breaker, give her time to think about it, but be prepared to walk away if she still says no.
The pair bond you have is tough to break for sure, why throw it all away right? Well some things are more important than feels or selfish desires user, and kids is one of those things. When you're on your deathbed, you won't give a shit about all the 'reasons' not to have kids that you (or she) think is so important now. You'll die regretting not having any.
Fuck that! Have kids. Forget her if she won't, another woman will.

>She told me that she thought marriage was oppressive, kids were parasites, etc. 6 months later, she confesses that she was just frightened, and that I was right to bring those things up, but that I was too blunt.
Yeah I got the kids are parasite thing too. For some reason she think we won't have a penny to spare or a minute of free time even if we just have one kid.

>And she thinks I was right. And she now wants a traditional relationship...with the new guy she is seeing.
damn thats shitty, sorry about that

Just try your best to find some mutual understanding. Don't forget to listen to her side as well.
As for children, deal with that later. You don't want to have kids with someone if you're uncertain about your relationship, and you're only 19 so you've got time. If she's saying that she never wants to have kids, and you aren't able to convince her then you should end the relationship, because that's clearly a dealbreaker for you.

>Maybe see if she wants to go to church with you?

I dont even have a bible much less going to a church. I would have and go to church for a while but i know its gonna cause shit so i just dont and it pisses me off greatly.

im 31. I was 19 when i met her. She's 29. It's getting important quickly

If you're going to do this, do it over time so she knows you're serious and it means a lot to you. Get her thinking about your future together and what would happen if one of you was to die. If you had offspring, at least there'd be someone to look after her once you're gone. Give her genuine reasons for why you want to do it, or why you believe what you do, don't just lay it on her like you're reading out an article.

Oh shit I misread. Yeah, you need to make it clear to her that having kids is important to you. Discuss it properly, give her time to think about it and if she still doesn't want kids then you should end it. It sucks, but it'd suck even more if you didn't get to live the life you want to.

She's right around the age that women's hormones start making them baby crazy. Huh, did you know women lose 50% of their fertility by age 32? Interesting.

>im 31. I was 19 when i met her. She's 29. It's getting important quickly
Jeez, don't you think that she's a bit too old to be so immature?

>Sounds to me like her brain has been poisoned by the electric jew, user.
''It's the kikes'' would sum it up well. All those problem are related to modern garbage

University made her worse in some aspects too. And because she learned it there she think it literally cant be false.

>When you're on your deathbed, you won't give a shit about all the 'reasons' not to have kids that you (or she) think is so important now. You'll die regretting not having any.

I know that. I know ill regret it deeply. When we're old, I might even resent her and hate her for being childless and leave her anyway.

It's just so fucking hard but i don't think i could live a life without having kids.

I knew mine wanted kids because she had a dog that she treated like a kid, and her maternal instincts were often on display. But she had a bad relationship with her mother, and her friends are faggot SJWs.

Any traits of yours that could make you reasonably believe that she does want kids, but just doesn't know it, or can't admit it?

This user is probably correct. But at the same time, part of being Right is believing in traditional gender roles, and part of that is accepting the male responsibility to lead and guide your partner. You may not be able to convince, but perhaps you can lead?

>I dont even have a bible much less going to a church. I would have and go to church for a while but i know its gonna cause shit so i just dont and it pisses me off greatly.

I've only been a few times, but I've felt a lot better for it. I suggest Catholic, and a Latin Mass if you don't have something specific in mind. I'm not sure I'll become a regular, but I felt like I was reconnecting with a lot of my roots and past.

The point of inviting her would be to make it less strange. Latin mass is also good for that because it isn't preachy. A good one is like going to a musical performance, especially if they've got a good choir.

She may also need to see you begin to strike out on your own in order for her situation to start to change. You may need to blaze a trail for you both.

Does she stalwartly not want kids? why, what reasons does she give?
It's kinda critical more than ever nowadays for kids to be a factor in most relationships

Some women just don't want kids, believe it or not.

>She's right around the age that women's hormones start making them baby crazy.
yeah Ive thought about that. The current plan is exactly to wait out that period and see how it goes and seriously considering leaving if nothing improves

the usual hedonistic meme shit.

>no money
>no free time
>you basically destroy your life for another human being
>you just feed a parasite who might not even like you when its old

etc.

My friend, of course I do. But I was trying to let the leaf know that it may be too late for her now.

I got out of a 8 year relationship that started when I was 18. Took me 2 years to get over being a needy beta with every new girl I dated. Don't leave the relationship until you have already got a tinder profile going and know that you have some options otherwise you might end up single with the emotional sophistication of an 18yo

Honestly mate, the more I'm hearing, the more I'm confused why you two are still together. You should've made this more of an issue years ago.

>Any traits of yours that could make you reasonably believe that she does want kids, but just doesn't know it, or can't admit it?
doubt it, we were of that opinion since the beginning.

>She may also need to see you begin to strike out on your own in order for her situation to start to change.

maybe. that could work

ive only wanted kids for a bit over a year now. We were on the same page before

im a long term relationship guy and I hate sluts. I'd prob go to church to find another girl.

>you might end up single with the emotional sophistication of an 18yo
very likely

>ive only wanted kids for a bit over a year now.
That explains it. There's no easy way to go about this. People grow apart, and have different visions of what they want in life. Sorry, but if you can't work it out, then splitting up is your only option. All the best man.

i want that fucking coffee mug

i want that one

>you haven't stated clearly what your goals are.

If you haven't been leading the relationship it is harder to recover to the position of power you should have held from the beginning because she is comfortable with you and any deviation from your norm can wind up with a 'you changed' mentality from her.

Anyways here's how to go about it. You need to frame the questions in such a way that you lead her down a path to the conclusion you want her to have but it's in such a way that she adopts the idea as her own. I mean essentially she does arrive at it on her own but you merely facilitate the A to B unbeknownst to her into what your desire.

That is how you red pill a female. You won't convince the average chick with logic, reasons and stats. You must operate emotionally and then twist those emotions to favor the viewpoints you want her to have positively. There is a lot of social stigma aganist what we do, mostly unjustified but it's because most people sperg out and make the whole thing look bad instead of hiding their power level.

Honestly OP, I can relate to your situation because I find myself in a mirror opposite situation in mine. I don't think the same things will resonate with her as did with you. Part of the red pill is admitting gender differences, so that should already have been obvious. If you want to capture her attention, try linking her to some red pilled women stuff about a topic she already agrees about.

This chick does good content, for example.
youtube.com/watch?v=aPm0NKcBZcY

The same shit isn't going to work on her as what worked on you. Be smart about how you present it.

yeah one thing ive learned itt is i should proceed differently. I was talking like I would talk with myself if I wanted to convince me

Please don't listen to this guy. Just have a frank discussion about what you want.

If y'all have been together 12 years and have no money or property wtf is the point? Y'all aren't even building shit. Free time is easy to get even with a kid especially once they get a bit older, also you can end up doing cool shit with them. Wtf is so important or precious about your 'time' if you also use no money as an excuse to not have a kid. Also for how much people say raising a kid is 'work' and in some senses it is, it really isn't if you're not a bitch. They're going to do basically whatever you say up until 11ish if they respect you. Even further if you legitimately treat them right. People make raising kids into this grand struggle but it was seriously the easiest shit I'd done. Just hang out, read to em, play with em, and teach them shit. It's a fucking cake walk if you're not retarded or mentally unhinged and easily melt down due to 'stress' which is another hugely overblown topic when dealing with kids.

Because women are totally known to be super logical and rational and he's coming to Sup Forums because everything was solved with a quick, easy and frank discussion

>People make raising kids into this grand struggle
its the constant brainwashing

OP, please read these two images.
It's up to you to decide what's good for her

...

Manipulation is not the key to a lasting or meaningful relationship. Communication and honesty is. And by the sounds of it, I doubt she will be manipulated that easily.

>how to women
>anime posters

nah but seriously ill read them and all the incoming posts but im off to bed now its 5am

It's not from me btw
I just agree with most of what is in there

He already isn't in a lasting or meaningful relationship. They want drastically different lives. I imagine these issues have come up before and unless he can bring her around to his side it won't matter. Again a frank discussion won't change this. You could argue that he should find someone who mirrors his values and what he wants more in life but I simply gave him a tool to use to get what he wants and keep his woman.

You're right in that he is unlikely to change her mind, but playing childish mindgames certainly isn't going to fix the problem. His best bet is to talk it out, and then probably bail.