The fact that these movies were made in the right time is a miracle. If Peter Jackson decided to film the Lotr trilogy in 2017, what would change?
Let me start first.
> Gandalf is obviously gay, wears flowers around head, has queer mannerism.
> Aragorn is black.
> Frodo and Sam develop openly gay relationship.
> OR Frodo is cast as a she-hobbit because muh feminism and a woman would be portraited as suited much better for resisting the power of the One Ring.
> Sauron is a fucking white male.
> Saruman's tower would bare a striking similarity with the Trump Tower.
> Elves would stay white to promote the fact that it's a dying race (Elves leaving the Middle Earth) and the only solution is for white women (Arwen) to seek a life with the bbc (Aragorn).
> Elrond would be even bigger cuck and look like Carl.
> Rohan and Gondor folk would be multiracial.
> (((they))) would draw paralels of how the One Ring is similar to wedding rings and therefore needs to be destroyes to get rid of marriages.
> Eowyn will have big muscles, shaved blonde hair and be a lesbian.
> The Shire is a socialist paradise, everyone shares everything with the community, so there will be no disputes about the inheritance of Bilbo's house.
The fact that these movies were made in the right time is a miracle...
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> Legolas would be a man who wants to be a woman, so xe wears a skirt but doesn't shave xis legs to show that his journey into transculture is only at the beginning.
> Gimly would be a hardcore right-winger at first but slowly falls for Legolas and at the end they get together.
> "I never thought I'd die side a side with a trans."
> "How about side by side with your love?"
> "Aye... I could do that."
what would gollum screech
> Ents from the green party "Fangorn" would put embargo on Mordor because Sauron's industry is high on emissions and cause global warming.
Forced gay/black characters just for the sake of having them, are really stupid. How about we just let artist do their thing and keep politics out of it.
> At the end the Black gates of Mordor will crumble to symbolise the fall of the Mexico border wall and free borders.
> Women would fight besides men.
> They would show men dying but never women to show how they're much better at men's job, if given the same opportunity.
> They will show muscular head-shaved white men shaking in fear in the caves during the Helm's deep battle instead of women and children to show how nazis are weak.
Sam lectures Gollum about fat-shaming him every time he says "fat hobbit".
> Pippin and Merry are gay.
> Saruman is Mike Pence.
> "Legolas! What do xour trans eyes see?"
> "They're turning northeast. They're taking the Hobbits to the Gay Conversion Therapy!"
Throws a tantrum when you "deadname" him as "Smeagol".
> Instead of Sauron's lines that we have now (I see you. You cannot hide. Etc.), Sauron would try his hardest to redpill the normies but to no success.
> *Frodo accidentally puts on the Ring*
Sauron: THE WHITE GENOCIDE IS REAL!
> *Frodo is out of breath and curles up in his safe space*
> Eowyn vs The Witch King
> "No man can kill me."
> "DID YOU JUST ASSUME MY GENDER?"
You speak as if there won't be remakes
Maybe even reboots
> Aragorn, Legolas and Gimly are in the forest of Fangorn
> Suddenly it's not so dark anymore.
> "Aragorn, somexing is out there."
> "Legolas, what do you see?"
> "The fucking white male approaches."
> "Do not let him speak, he will put his First amendment on us."
> The Gondor symbol of white tree is deemed racist.
> Now all shields have a curved black dildo painted on them to show solidarity to Rhun refugees.
Minorities would just take over the cast, and LOTR wouldn´t be anymore a epic story like it was but a ridiculous 1 more multic, without identity or roots
One of the best triology ever.
> Saruman tries to redpill Gandalf.
> Bluepill Gandalf can't handle it, is mad and puts a rag on Palantír to cover it.
>Rohan attacks Gondor for maintaining a system of structural violence and institutional oppression
>Gondor attacks Gondor for it's "worrying" portrayal of Orcs in theater, song, and literature
>Theoden (girl) inexplicably invites Orcs into Rohan
>they assent
>Hobbits successfully lobby to be allowed to serve in combat and leadership roles in Gondoran military
If these movies were made today they would be The Hobbit movies.
> "I never thought I'd die side a side with a trans."
> "How about side by side with your love?"
To be honest that's better than nothing
They already put niggers and a dwarf/elf relationship in the Hobbit movies.
He'd scream about Men's Rights.
>Eowyn will have big muscles, shaved blonde hair and be a lesbian.