>be born a brazilian >become atheist because the mere thought of a god so cruel to let this to happen to you is terrifying >soon find out the greatest national heros are Santos Dumont and Pelé >Santos Dumont for inventing the airplane, our way out >Pelé because he kicks a ball around and makes those who remained here forget their miserable for 90 minutes >be at school >"education is the solution to Brazil!!" >most educated brazilians rule / ruled Brazil, wrote the Constitution and vote for the worst possible communist available >spend 16000 hours in public school >ends up a thief or a drug dealer in the best scenario >somehow get in university to fill a racial >mfw mixed race and can claim to be white or black according to my needs >university has the most modern Tumblr technology and pseudo-scientific bullshit imported from the US >leave university with useless degree and apply to a Concurso Público in order to become government official so you can't be fired >be so lazy that not being fired is the most you want from your life >spend 20 years of life trying Concurso Público because half the brazilian population is competing with you to acquire paid lazy leave >get shot in way to Concurso Público >murder has 6% chances of not going in a drawer and being forgotten >less than 1% chance or murderer being caught >your body is lying on the street >blood and happy >you smile at least knowing you'll go to a better place
would pic related pass as a local in your country?
Isaiah Hill
go to germany and claim to be a refuge from syria
Brayden Roberts
Too white and too clean.
Needs braces to look more charming.
>also
Checkbones are too thin. Hair is too curly.
Cooper Carter
In the north region, yes. In the south or southeast areas, not so much.
Carson Powell
>a the south is where the browner brazilians live? like the ones who look like ''fat ronaldo'' (no9)?
Oliver Lopez
No, the south is the whitest region. Like Gisele Bundchen kind of white.
Daniel Davis
>university has the most modern Tumblr technology
okay i fucking lost it
Isaiah Baker
this would actually work
Hudson Ross
So where did all the niggers come from? Were there slaves brought over to Brazil to farm bananas?
Evan Long
did your friend die user?
Cooper Bailey
They were bought by Dad Portugal from the african Kangz to live with us yet most slave traders were either (((innocent merchants))) or blacks / half-breed themselves.
They've been here forever and mixed so much with the indians and whites that blacks are actually a tiny population in Brazil. Most "blacks" are just incredibly mixed.
The issue is that immigrants from Germany, Italy, Lebanon and Japanese came and they got in the middle class in one generation meanwhile all the other groups haven't achieved that in 500 years.
Really makes you think.
Austin Ward
>>become atheist because the mere thought of a god so cruel to let this to happen to you is terrifying
>your body is lying on the street >blood and happy >you smile at least knowing you'll go to a better place
You're an atheist but you believe in heaven?
Anyway, I hear you, OP. Brazil is a toxic shithole of niggerish bullshit. You should just move to Canada or something. They'll take anyone, especially if you're from a poor country and kinda sorta black.
Aiden Davis
Yes.
Our murder rates are higher than Syria in Civil War.
Brazilians just die. That's just how things go.
Gabriel Garcia
>south or southeast areas, not so much Ahahaha. Have you ever gotten more than a hundred meters away from your parents' apartment? There are hundreds of Haitians running around in the South and the Southeast is where a good part of the ex-slave population went to find manual work.
Oliver White
I spent 6 months in Brazil in the late 90's. It was pretty dope. Got treated like Brett Michaels on tour
vAI COMENTAR MERDA NO 4 FOLHA DE TREVO NA PUTA QUE TE PARIIU
Anthony King
hey user I might be going to work for Embraer The governor where I am in Florida gave the Brasilian company a 20.8 million dollar tax cut to outsource jobs to my part of the state My friend who is trying to me on at the company told me it is nearly impossible to be fired if you are in a union there in Brasil
If I go work for Embraer I'll have to go to Brasil for a few weeks every quarter for training
Redpill me on what I should know
Nicholas Murphy
Stay mad, dwarf.
Julian Gray
Heaven? He never mentioned heaven What he means is that whatever awaits him, it's better than brasil Regardless if it's hell, heaven, or just nothing at all.
Oliver Watson
Don't pick trannies on street. They'll overpower you and steal your shit. Don't use your phone on street unless you see other people using it.
Don't have sex around because girls have the largest flora of STD known to man.
But don't worry. Brazil is safe as long as you stay out from crowded tourist sights, crowded streets, desert streets, local markets. beaches, traffic jams, non-privatized public parks, favelas, specific murder districts in every town (like Triângulo da Morte if you are going to São Paulo) and large events like carnaval and unprotected buildings because arrastões are common.
Also, beware kidnapping. If you look rich and foreign, it's gonna happen. In case of the rape, pretend you are enjoying it so it lasts shorter.
Also don't buy anything in Brazil. Everything here is expensive because the government needs money more than we do.
They likely won't fire you because you are american and firing people is ridiculously hard in Brazil (that is why nobody hires).
Y
James Harris
You can piss on the street if you want and that is really cool.
I love opening my thong, sliding my masculinity out and painting a wall with 4 liters of beer. It feels so natural and brazilian.
Streets often smell like piss in here.
>inb4 DESIGNATED
It's beautiful and natural.
Also, avoid eating brazilian food because we put cardboard in our meat and call it "gourmet" so people will pay more.
Jeremiah Allen
>Santos Dumont for inventing the airplane, our way out
Well nice to know, pretty sure no one knows about him outside of Brazil. Sort of like our nigger tier inventors.
Why every catholic country is such shit in inventions or any contributions.
Jose Collins
>decide to make a change about this post-modernist madness >go to brazilian plebbit >post scientific proof that quotas are bullshit and both groups often have identical ancestry >50% of plebbitors: yeah, but skin color quotas are still good >the other 50%: yeah, we don't need skin color quotas, we need communist social quotas based on how poor you are tumbling down tumbling down tumbling down
Kayden Gonzalez
Is Brazil really that terrible? Aren't there a few good things here and there? It is a BRIC nation, the beaches look beautiful, the food looks good, I love samba and capoeira.
Nicholas Barnes
>BRIC Doesn't mean anything.
We are doing the worst.
Except for South Africa that is turning into Zimbabwe.
>Beautiful beaches
Ever heard of arrastão?
Someone shouts and a hrode of minor thiefs descend upon the beach stealing everything they can grab and then running to the nearby busses.
>the food looks good
If you like paperboard in it.
>samba and capoeira
Samba was made up by brazilians in the 40s so they had something to be proud of.
>Capoeira
Useless martial art and shitty african dance combined.
