If you had a time machine what would you do ?

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I'd go tell Hitler not to fuck with Stalin and concentrate on the Western front. As long as we're just making shit up I'd also go tell Hirohito to leave the US alone and tell Mussolini not to sell out to the Germans.

Go back to 4th century Rome and urge them all to invade the Arabian peninsula (specifically Medina and Mecca) and spread Christendom or Hellenic paganism in order to prevent Islam from ever being created

Would also get a ticket with all 7 winning numbers for whenever the next mega millions jackpot is

First year of the universe so I could burn up in molten hot hydrogen instantly

Nietzsche as fuck, man.

Take all time travel science with me all the way to the post heat-death universe as to not let jewish timelords take over and tax the universe

I would do unspeakable things to that slutty jewess

>I don't understand military history
Stalin was going to invade anyway. Hitler should've invaded earlier

Go back to ancient Egypt and teach them how to build pyramids. Also teach them about kek and the power of meme magic.

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Kill Churchill, help Hitler win

enter year -0 into its destination so it would send me into oblivion as a form a suicide

GO back to early last year, make a GIF of the President closelining a CNN logo, then wait for said president to tweet that image, and when CNN doxxes me; refuse to 'apologize' for my 'anti-semitic' and 'islamophobic' posts and openly declare that I've nothing left to lose you pathetic CNN faggots.

bring her a vaccine and marry

Kill LBJ and everyone involved with the 1965 Immigration Act.

Make the pregnant Anne Frank copypasta real

Sell it for cocaine and hookers.

Go back like a day and pick a good stock. Rest of the world can go fuck themselves.

Or you could just pluck her off the train

Go back and kidnap anne frank, and rape her anally for a couple months to train her ass, then I take her around the south side of chicago to pass her around to be used in all her holes by all the feral niggers there, and film it and sell the footage for mad pornbux profit.

First nano-seconds of the universe, so that my body will influence the position of the subatomic particules and ultimatly the whole disposition of matter in the universe.

Jeff Mangum will give you six million dollar extremes for it

Prevent my parents from meeting.

>Le Eastern front was a mistake
Lear your history m8

Watch Ghengis slaughter millions upon millions of arabs desu

TIME MACHINES ARE REAL
DO NOT BELIEVE WHAT (((THEY))) TELL YOU

pose la chicha et va au lit mon user
I'd tell the Japs not to invade Hawaii but to attack Russia jointly with the krauts instead

do everything the same again

more time machines

You realize CP is illegal right?

Also, selling her off as a sex slave to Neutral Milk Hotel will make you a lot more money.

Trust me on this, I'm a descendant of slaveholders.

I would take modern knowledge, tech, and weapons to 5000bce to see what happens. Breed with a Neanderthal. And probably kidnap people from different time periods and start a side show.

fpbp /thread

I would go back in time

Tell Hitler not to invade Poland and to redouble efforts to form an alliance with Britain and America against the Soviets.

Does anyone here know if time machines could actually somehow exist where we can go to the past, alter it, and then go back into the present day?

illegal things make far more money, and also i'd be supplying a demand from the powers that be, you think jeff magnum has more money than deepweb illegal pornbrokers? kek

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Visit the future and see when immortality is achieved

go back and give Anne Frank a high quality ballpoint pen that wasn't invented until after the war

Travel to auschwitz and see if the holocaust really happened

probably time travel

Go and tell Carolus rex what he'll need to do in order to win the war.
>Kill/imprison russian captives after Narva
>Go for moscow if you need to, Poland is not in shape to attack, sign peace as soon as possible

The most 'scientific' approach to time travel sees it as a sort of phone, needing a receiver at each end. Which would mean you could only travel back to the first invention of a time machine, but not further.

you can change the future but you can't return to the changed future

Yes, I would.

no it's impossible to travel back
you can go forward thou even with current technology

then shove it in her butter beacon

Why are Jews so intelligent? Seriously. She just looks intelligent.

But what's the point if you can't return? That sucks ass. Man, how fucking amazing would it be if we could just correct the mistakes of the past.

Make sure America gets aborted

All of Hitlers generals said the same thing. Why would he listen to you?

She looks like a rat. I guess rats have a certain cunning.

Kill Churchill.

Well Jeff will pay you right away plus it's technically not illegal if you arrange for the purchase to take place in an African country where slavery is still legal, thus shielding you from any consequences but fair enough.

At least make her pregnant so goys like me who get off to that can enjoy it too.

Also someone post the preggo Anne Frank hentai and copypasta. I'd do it but I'm not at my computer right now.

>Tell Hitler not to give the English a chance to escape back to England after France got their collective asses kicked.
>Prevent Pearl Harbor
>Go back in time and convince the Aztecs I am their white god a few years before Cortez arrives in Mexico.
>Pretend to be a time traveling American from the future and tell FDR not to be involved in WW2.

Convince south to pick their own cotton

>If you had a time machine what would you do ?
Give the NSDAP all the information they'd need to win the war.

I would fuck every Cavewoman and have every future human being be my child

Murder Edison. Find Tesla. Become his front man. Infinite Energy for everybody.

I would use the time travel paradox to make One Hundred million copies of myself that are better than clones because they are essentially an exact copy of me just 1 second apart, then I would ethnically cleanse the United states

The war in the Eastern Front was going to happen no matter what. What he should have done was not fuck around with Greece as it pushed Barbarossa back over a month, and had he been just as successful with that extra month of time he could have taken Moscow.

Go 40 years into the future and get a sports almanac, stock charts for the last 40 years, lottery number histories and...top 40 music as well.

Go back, become the world's first trillionaire and be a record producer that cranks out nothing but chart topping hits so everyone in Hollywood and Wall Street will do anything to suck my cock and avoid my wrath. Use my money and influence to completely alter the political landscape and crush liberalism.

>preggo anne frank fetishism
so trite, so passe, so behind the curve
step up your tryhard fetishism game, my kin

Interesting. Perhaps we'll see if all those sci-fi films were onto something and if science can actually take us that far.

You mean, you can't return to the present?

Push on to Moscow instead of getting buttfucked in Stalingrad?

>Stalin was going to invade anyway. Hitler should've invaded earlier
Stalin had no plans to invade. Hitler had nerve gas. All he had to do was advertise this, and the cold war would have started much sooner.

i wanna fuck anne frank

my brother...

gonna need a whole box of penis

Kill Moses

You're now standing on a square in 4th century Rome. Tell me how you work yourself up to a position where your opinion about invading Arabia matters.

You'd have a better chance by going to 7th century Arabia and undermining Muhammad. That is, if he existed and the Islam as we know it wasn't created much later given that the early Arab expansion after the supposed death of Muhammad left absolutely no signs that these conquerors had a new religion or prophet which is very strange considering they would have been ordered to first ask the peoples to convert to Islam before attacking them, and further, after conquering them they ought to have made Islam the law of the land. There is not even the slightest whiff of evidence of either.

Shot Dewey and Truman.

>Nobody said this yet

Prevent the assasination of Franz Ferdinand

A man can only do so much. I'd probably go back to 1914 and try to stop Franz Ferdinand from going to Sarajevo or go back and murder Muhammad.

Find a way to help MacArthur nuke the chinks

Fucking just beat me to it.

Go to the end of time, to the brink of all existence. Delicately cleanse my lips with a moist towelette. Fill a woopie cushion and place it on a small wooden stool.

Return to my time and speak of this to no one.

Yes, he was.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Igor_Bunich

kill mohammed

Shoot Hitler and find someone more competent.

Europe was a powder keg, literally anything would have set it off and due to pre-standing alliances, the sides and ultimate result of the war would be more or less the same

>not murdering Abraham

nigga you went deep!

This would have literally done nothing to change the course of history. Himmler would have been the next guy.

coom on it

I would live the life of an artist, the greatest one, with my art history knowledge, i would make the famous one just before they are done and claim I have surnatural powers.
Then eat like a mad man and fuck wemens

Time travel is FORBIDDEN!!!
You'll just end fucking up time and destroying the universe as we know it.

Time travel is possible, just not the whole going backwards part.

Give Germany suffecient intel to win WW1.

put on a hazmat suit and check out the dinosaurs during the Ordovician era.

>preventing
>not going back a little earlier, putting on a yarmulke and prosthetic nose and assassinating him before gavrilo arrives while screaming SHALOM SHEKELSTEIN! again and again

har har Sleep it off and you'll end up in the future.

to be fair that ain't time travel, just physics.

Nope, that wouldn't have saved him either.

easy you show the romans technology beyond their imagination bring a couple guns a phone a laptop anything they dont have

nothing legal.

Hit it and quit it.

To also be fair, you would have to be traveling to go faster in time.

Another idea: Go back to 14th century France, take up the identity of Nostradamus and troll historians for eternity by using my knowledge of the future to make predictions

What I need to achieve this