It's CDN Morning News with your host:
Lazarus Leaf
With thread regulars:
BritBro
Archievebot
and the rest of (you)
Fight breaks out over a late pizza order!!
>Pizza Pizza fight began with complaint that order took too long, witness says
metronews.ca
Get mess with a Canadians food. They go crazy.
Think Americans are fat and loud?? Try meeting a Canadian
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Canadians can't keep a straight face singing their own pathetic "national anthem"
>O Canada' performance at MLB's All-Star Game draws criticism - again
>The Calgary native best known for the singles "Jackpot" and "Bound to You" apparently giggled after she sang the words "God keep our land." She recovered and finished the verse.
What songs?? Never heard them. Then again, I'm literally stuck in the year 2000.............
How the fuck did Canada get some teams in the MLB anyways?
One team folded, and we have 1 team left.
Same city that has an NBA team
TORONTO
How AMERICANIZED OF THEM!!!
Us Canadians do nothing but sit inside, stare at things, shit talk about and hate everyone.
More women getting mens jobs in Canada
>Premier-designate John Horgan appoints women to key positions
metronews.ca
Women are fucking cheapskates. Stop giving them jobs.
They spend money on themselves. That's it.
They expect men to pay for everything with their none job that a woman stole.
Even the girls at work complain the industry ain't as lucrative as it use to be.
It dawned on me. Women have all the jobs and don't spend money on other women. Or men. Or their own kids.
Hey Kikes, y'all screwed up.
Women are cheap as fuck, unless it's for high end Italian/French Fashion Houses.
They don't like your cheap trashy merchandise.
Men use to spend money on your crap.
Women don't
Women have all the jobs cause of your Kike social engineering, but they don't like your trashy products, thus not giving you any money.
When I go out, most of the tables at restaurants are occupied by groups of loud,laughing women, and the servers are mostly male with a beard and "man bun".
I doubt those cunts tip.
They don't take their man out for dinner.
Sorry babe, you took my job, I can't take you out for dinner no more.
Cheap ass women. Seriously. They're fucking cheapskates.
Girls at work complaining all the guys in the club are cheap
>Yo babe, buy me a PS4
The looks on their faces LOL
>Cheapskate ass woman
Then they laugh and walk away
the new diversified forestry service is really making an impact.
>replace all the white guys
>fucking place burns down
>turns out those white guys were actually doing something other than riding a desk and checking the occasional form while outdoors.
>no one can figure out what those white men did that prevented fires way back in the beforetime
youtube.com
Ow my soup, MY SOUP, STOP!! MY SOUUPP!!!
looks like north africa
Going out has gone down
Eating out has gone down
Movie viewership has gone WAY down, Hollywood is losing 100s of millions a "blockbuster"
Nightclubs close down often cause of lack of sales and people
WHY??
Men got no money.
All that shit was to impress women.
Women don't like broke men
Women don't spend money on anyone but themselves.
ontarioguy here. fuckin gas prices are out of control. 99c at one place. 10 KM down road 109. 5 km from the 105. go 5 km in any direction and they will vary 10c a litre. fucked up shit
So weird, how like the price of oil tanks, but the prices in Canada stay sky high.....
Americans pay like 40-50cents a liter
Here's some gas prices from Houston (I wish i was Texan)
Remember, they use gallons. 1 Gallon is 3.71 Liters.
$1.80 a gallon is roughly 48cents a liter.
Whoops
Loser Canadian woman, copies idea from Americans, loser Canadians write a news story about it.
>Canadian restaurateurs and consumers say "straws suck"
metronews.ca
>In May, the bar and brunch spot, as well as its sister restaurant, the Hayloft Dancehall in Prince Edward County, Ont., stopped offering plastic drinking straws.
>The move was spearheaded by his colleague and Hayloft co-owner Trish Cook, who got the idea from a bar she visited in San Francisco.
>They’re part of a growing global movement of bars, restaurants and consumers eschewing straws as an unnecessary environmental blight.
Women "care" about the dumbest fucking shit.
Don't get me started on those feminist cunts who claim to care about "oppressed" women, then you mention women in 3rd countries and how easy they have it in Canada and their brain breaks.
if they don't raise the interest rates today the dollar is going to dive and gas will be even more pricey. Does the gas there have the carbon tax added to it yet?
idk libcuckcs added i think 10c a liter tax in january so yes i believe so
It would be good if the dollar tanked. So many people would just die off, cause they couldn't be taken care of.
Canadians LOVE free healthcare cause most are genetic failures from inbreeding and drug/alcohol use during pregnancy.
ALL those old fucks, would die quick.
DAILY REMINDER; More than Half of ALL Canadians will be dead in 40-50 years.
>Canadian seniors now outnumber children for 1st time, 2016 census shows
cbc.ca
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>More Canadians are 65 and over than under age 15, StatsCan says
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>10c a liter
pegged to the litre....even if it was free they'd still tax ya, the bastards.
Still, not soon enough.
Example: I'm in my late 20s-mid30s. My granddad is 85.
There is stories of 92-94 year old Canadians "doing stuff" or finally dying
I could be 50 or so by the time that old bastard finally kicks the fucking bucket.
With his money and advanced medicine, people are living longer than ever.
which is all part of the liberal plan with refugees, ''women must work'' ''equality'' bla bla. all part to kill off canadians
Really doesn't matter to me if all Canadians die. Seriously.
Good Riddance.
We shouldn't exist.
I'm half True Canadian. I'm part fucking inbred. Like fuck man..............
if you guys here a distant popping sound this week that is homeowners beng hit with the new rates and suiciding.
The snapping lashing sound is the sound of boomers cracking the whip even harder on the backs of millennial employees who must pay for the boomer's houses and lifestyle.
FYI: the more you know
Nah man, them boomers are cowards. They're going to off themselves in droves.
Like those dudes jumping out of windows in the 1930s when the stock market crashed.
The Great Canadian Dying begins.
I sure as fuck won't be taking care of anyone but myself. Also only helping myself, to their goods.
>Toronto’s million-dollar condo sales are multiplying, Sotheby’s report finds
metronews.ca
SOMEONE has money, sure as fuck, isn't WHITE Canadians though.
>condo sales are multiplying
that's cause no one could afford to buy detached ...because of chinese money creating a fuckmassive megabubble.
Shopping cart theft is also up, also not a good sign.
Burning Down-ada
>Watch: Couple's terrifying drive through B.C. wildfires caught on video
>Sally Aitken hopes the video will be instructive to people hesitant to flee hundreds of fires raging across B.C.
metronews.ca
Video doesn't work for me though.
Almost half of Canada is literally ON FUCKING FIRE and no one is doing shit.
That's Canadians for you. Seriously. They literally have NO IDEA what to do, about anything.
Call that faggot from CBC, "Don Pittis", he's the business editor and expert, also was a forest fire fighter. Get him out there eh? Show em how its done eh??
Nation of dumb fuck losers.
Canadians are DUMB AS FUCK.
This is "Steven Polozi", the Finance Minister of Canada or whatever.
Dumb as fuck Boomer, who literally has a " I hope to God, nothing happens at work today cause I have no idea what I'm doing" face on 24.7
Here's him at some kids Science Fair or something. Some "hands-on, make science fun" kid exhibit.
The CBC is trying to trick you into *thinking* he's some "computer genius" and that's the "Canada Money Computer" or something.
LOL
kek
Literally looks like a child, mesmerized by this contraption and what it does.
Boomers are literally children in adult bodies.
Spoiled, dumb children.
>Darrrr whoops eh?? Sorry eh?? Just gonna walk away smiling like I did nothing wrong eh? Not my fault eh???
With what fucking money??
>CPP Investment Board buying Shell's stake in Irish off-shore gas field
Where does this money keep coming from? The government has none.
Canada and Canadians are 1.7 TRILLION in debt
$1,700,000,000,000 dollars.
Imagine having that much money.
35,000,000 (35 Million)
>OWES
$1,700,000,000,000
W_E_W_L_A_D
I ain't paying back shit. I got no money either.
Probably why they're letting this shit hole burn down.
PLOT TWIST
Trudy is letting Canada get so bad, he looks like a savior when Trump offers to save Canada, by annexing it.
Cheap gas
Cheap food
Good weather
Diverse landscape
Strong dollar
Decent economy with lots of potential
Lots of people but still lots of open space
America is the best country on Earth.
Fuck being a Canadian. My god I hate this place. So much.
Can own guns
Have REAL rights
Freedom of Speech
Freedom to start your own business
FREEDOM
REAL FUCKING FREEDOM!!!
Not bullshit Canadian lies by some jenky fuckwit commie worshiper named Pierre Elliot Trudeau.
As if I left those out.............That's the most important and best shit about America
A couple years ago they added added the provincial protion of the HST(8%) to fuel which was never charged before. Then this Jan they added the carbon tax which added up to about 4.5 cents per litre. If we removed all taxes and levies and paid a market rate for gasoline like in the USA it would be in the high 50s, low 60s right now. Another massive hidden tax considering the average person spends thousands in fuel a year, they are paying thousands in tax at the same time.
Also a ripoff is motor oil. No one seems to notice that it is still 7-8 bucks a quart here or like 30bucks for a jug. At current oil price it should be 2-3 bucks a quart at the very most. When i was a teenager and oil was the same per barrel as it is now oil was like 2$ a quart
Big Ol BBQ out in BC
What you Canadians going to eat if all the cows burn down??
Holy fuck is beef ever expensive these days too.
>B.C. wildfires threaten as many as 20,000 cattle, association says
DARRRRRRRRRR, wusssa matter?? Can't afford to over pay for stuff, cause you're poor?? Im rich. I love over paying for shit tier goods. I got the money eh?? Stop being poor and enjoy over paying for things in Canada, you loser.
Canada, the land where if you're a Boomer, you can literally be, whatever the fuck you want
>Disgraced dentist turned foot specialist loses license again
metronews.ca
Holy fuck, every Boomer in Canada has several different high paying jobs, after some shit tier resume, they'd shit on if it wasn't theirs.
Jesus fuck.
We NEED to start an Annexation Meme Campaign.
FUCK being a low life Canadian. You're proud of lies, stolen American culture and misrepresented facts.
Being American, is WAY better, than being Canadian.
Trudy is obsessed with being liked by the youth.
I bet more young people like me and listen to me, than they like Trudy.
We need a meme strike that targets Trudys autism and need to be liked.
>If Trudy made Canada part of USA, the youth would be saved and love him for ever.
Stuff like that.
Stop being pussy whiners eh??
If you hate being here, SAY IT.
>PM Trudeau to hold formal bilateral meeting with U.S. VP Mike Pence
The Sunscreen is SAFE, you're just bad fucking "parents"
>Sunscreens are very safe', but experts say to watch for allergies
>Despite a recent slew of worrisome headlines about Banana Boat suncreen burns, dermatologists say the lotion is perfectly safe— just make sure to cover up and stay in the shade
It's a fucking baby, it's fragile and delicate. You NEED to watch it, 24/7 for YEARS. Deal with it. That's being a parent.
Also, this fucking (((skin cancer))) stuff is bullshit.
Literal fucking bullshit.
>OMG, my mothers, best friends sisters,daughters, BFFS, nieces, grandma DIED for skin cancer!!! OMG!!! OMG!! Imagine that was YOU?? How TERRIFYING!!!!
Humans have been in the sun for 1000s of years.
People brains break when you tell them life hasn't always been like this.
Fuck Millennials are dumb.
You kids think EVERYTHING about the past is a lie, cause it's not like it is now.
Oh hey I've been there! My friends all say pizza pizza tastes like cardboard but I really like it, especially how much you can customize your pizza when ordering online (I always get extra tomato sauce and garlic&herb spices)
Also has anyone noticed that the cabinet having an equal number of men and women is pretty sexist? It heavily implies that some of them were hired for their gender over someone more qualified of the opposite gender. I mean I like how things are more fair for us women now, but I don't want to see the scales become unbalanced in the other direction.
K at the skatepark and some kid brings up that (((skin cancer))) bullshit.
I'm like
>Yo kid, back in the day, you woke up at 6am, fed the chickens, milked the cows and then plowed the field till the sunset. You didn't have no sun screen. People did that for 1000s of years without sun screen. Skin cancer is bullshit. The human race would not have survived if that's the case.
The look on his face LOL His brain broke. He looked at me like I was making things up.
"Ohhh duh, I meant sun burns!"
>No kid, you said "skin cancer"
"I meant sun burn"
>sun burn, skin cancer, two very diff things bro
"DUUUUUUUUUUUUH"
Pizza Pizza across Canada is like that. Cardboard with some sauce and cheese.
At least it's cheap.
4.99 for a medium cheese or 5.99 for a medium pep.cheese
Not bad for a country like Canada. Fills you up.
I'd personally hate if we became part of America. I mean, things are going great over there because of trump and awful here because of Trudeau, but America was a corrupt shithole before trump, and they'll become a corrupt shithole again after Trump. I'd rather we work on our problems separately, a smaller country of 40 million people is easier to sway than 400 million.
But it tastes soooooo good, I like it more than Domino's or Pizza hut. And I like the XL sized pizza more cause it has the best pizza slice to crust ratio, although it's impossible to eat alone and leftover pizza sucks.
You literally have some fairy tale idea of what Canada is and was.
Whatever bro, enjoy your slavery.
God I hate having to share a country with cucked moron bitches like you.
Here till I fucking die......................
I read this book, was really cool actually, called "The Last Canadian"
Was written in Cold War times, but it's about this American who got hired in Montreal and the Russians send some super virus to North America and it literally kills 95% of everyone in North America. He survives with his family up north in the wilderness until one day, some "carrier" passes by a couple miles away by some freak chance. His whole family dies and he becomes a "carrier" himself. The rest of the novel is him roaming across North America, meeting survivors. Oh ya, the virus kills more men than women. In the book, all the survivor dudes had harems.
That book always made an impact on me. i re-read it a few times.
Maybe that will be my life..............
Here till I die again I should say..............Fuck...........
>Don't miss bro. Make it count. If I come back 2 times it'll be fucking weird and I'll be out for blood.
Here's some shit on loans and interest rates. i don't have any loans or a mortgage so I don't care.
>Interest rates likely to increase today: How that could affect your loans
cbc.ca
More crap on debt
>Mortgages won't be only problem for many Canadians as rates rise
cbc.ca
Next winter is going to kill lots of homeless Canadians, who "owned" a house until this week.............
...
Archived it
archive.is
I knew you would buddy
Beeep boop beeep
Thanks Archivebot
Canadians don't have food. I donno what they ate before "Kraft Dinner", cause that's their "national cuisine"
Stolen, white trash, shit tier, American food.
Homemade Mac n Cheese is fucking awesome.
Kraft Dinner is processed shit that tastes like crap. It's garbage.
>mapping the origins of a Canadian Classic
MAP it back to USA, where it was INVENTED, you dumb fuck leaf moron.
It's all fucking lies. Canadians didn't invent or do shit.
This isn't really talked about, but suicide rates have more than doubled in Alberta, since the oil crash, cause no one could afford their lifestyle anymore cause they had no job or money.
Boomers are going to off themselves in droves.
I'm not taking care of your mommy or daddy.
All the old fucking 80+ Canadians will finally fucking die too.
Leaving 15 or so million leafs with a country of stuff.
>'In over their head': Looming interest rate hike has debt-burdened Canadian homeowners nervous, survey finds
It's BOOMERS with all this debt. I most Millennials don't owe anything except a student loan.
This is mostly ALL Boomer debt.
Take their house and cars as a repayment, i don't care. I'm not paying for them
Are... Are you alright? You seem a little stressed out.
It says risen 30% but Canadians lie about everything
>Suicide rate in Alberta climbs 30% in wake of mass oilpatch layoffs
cbc.ca
OR I over exaggerated a lil for dramatic effect. Can't blame me, I'm Canadian eh??
*goof grin, thumbs up*
Why you got a "Don't Tread on Me" flag, when you're a total cucked bitch?
Do you even know why they made that flag??
Jeez you're embarrassing.............
Cause snakes are cool, duh.
Why are you having a total meltdown on Sup Forums? Go take that stuff over to Reddit, they might actually coddle you and make you feel better.
You have a dumb leaf on your flag...see I can make observations to
Has "Don't Tread On Me" Flag, says
>I'd personally hate if we became part of America
LOL WTF??
Jeeezus fuck you people are embarrassing...................
I must say though Tim Hortons does have the best coffee
God you're stupid.
Canadian with USA proxy detected..........
LOL
Trying to play tough guy, when you're a total fucking retard............
Canadian as fuck.
Mac N Cheese is so bad and white trash tier that most food pantries dont want you to donate it
Nope just come from a border town unfortunately. So I know of your snow jew ways
Lol that's pretty hilarious. And yeah, italpasta with any sort of homemade sauce completely destroys it.
...
Don't fuck with my pizza
It's fucking trash. It doesn't taste good. It looks like shit.
Kraft Dinner and some chopped up hot dogs is a Canada delicacy
hey look another food you didnt invent
You need to calm down and sleep off whatever drugs you're taking. You're clearly unhinged right now.
reveal your true flag, leaf
But I wanna be a snake not a leaf D:
The fuck are you talking about??? Your level of autism stupidity is off the charts.
You come out of no where with some stupid as fuck comment
>duh your flag has a leaf, I can observe too
like you're some kind of fucking genius.
You jumped into a convo and made some random dumb fuck remark. You're Canadian as fuck.
The retard is using a flag by American Rebels cause they hated British rule.
He doesn't want to be American, he loves Canada, uses American Rebel flag. You jump in and say something about my flag.
Fuck you're stupid.
If you hate Canada so much why don't you leave?
You're a loser bro. You're a literal mental retard.
Who cares what that flag means, little faggot bitch boi canadian, wants to "feel cool" with a snake flag.
Fuck what shit stands for, if some bitches feelings want it to mean something else.
Faggot fucking Millennials.
You're all real life pussy cunts too.
Hurr Durr. Thanks for the novel...coulda said that in 3 lines or less
WUT.
HALF OF YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE $200. YOU'RE A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY WITH 1ST WORLD PROPAGANDA.
Reading is hard, right fuccboi??
Cause the Canadian Government made it very hard for anyone born here, to leave.
Duh, learn your country faggot.
stay mad loyalist snow nigger
You're retarded. I'm pro-American.
>Calls me retarded for using the Gadsden flag while loving Canada
>Uses the Canadian flag while shitting all over Canada.
Listen up, you hypocrite, Canada may have a lot of problems, especially problems created from really dumb reasons, but it is still one of the best countries in the world, if you want to talk about culture, we have lots of it from hockey to accents to flannel shirts, if you want to talk about food specifically, we have poutine, flapjacks, maple syrup, loads of fusion cousine from all the various regions of people living here so close to each other.
So you can take your unfounded rage and choke on it, you loser
SUCCCC
WHITE Homeless Canadians in tent cities an "eye sore". Bird Sanctuary preferred.
>Residents want homeless camps and flood debris cleared from Elbow Island Park
cbc.ca
Fucking "potato head" Canadian. He looks like my granddad, except he's from Alberta.
That's weird huh?
I see lots of old guys, who look like my granddad
INBREEDING maybe?? Hmmmmm
USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA
>Calls me retarded for using the Gadsden flag while loving Canada
>Uses the Canadian flag while shitting all over Canada.
What's your fucking point, retard??
I live in Canada and I'm shitting on it. What's your point retard??
Do I NEED to love Canada, since I live here??
Are you that fucking dumb??
>Listen up, you hypocrite, Canada may have a lot of problems, especially problems created from really dumb reasons, but it is still one of the best countries in the world, if you want to talk about culture, we have lots of it from hockey to accents to flannel shirts, if you want to talk about food specifically, we have poutine, flapjacks, maple syrup, loads of fusion cousine from all the various regions of people living here so close to each other.
Using the word "hypocrite" wrong. I doubt you even know what it means, since you;re using it improperly.
Best countries where all the youth die from OD??
Or you just don\t care about those Canadians??
Those homeless Canadians just don't matter, this is the best country ever.
Hockey was invented in England. USA has WAY MORE teams, than your fuckhole nation does. Count them retard. Can you count past 3 as a Canadian??
Flannel shirts? That's culture? My fuck you're retarded.
Food?
NAME SOME then. Fusion dishes??
What the fuck??
Newfoundland sucks friend, gas was $1.50 for a long time now it's down to $1.25 for the time being but it's going to go up again soon. Smuggle me off this cuck rock please user
IF only they had won the War of 1812.............
IF fucking ONLY...............
Here's WHY, the Americans lost the War of 1812
>Laura Secord
Loyalist cunt loser bitch, who gave away American positions to the British, while they had Canada OCCUPIED.
If it wasn't for this ONE WOMAN, Americans would have won.
ONE WOMAN, cost a whole country, their freedom.
Literal fucking cucks.
ONE WOMAN cucked a nation
en.wikipedia.org
>Laura Secord (née Ingersoll; 13 September 1775 – 17 October 1868) was a Canadian heroine of the War of 1812. She is known for having walked 20 miles (32 km) out of American-occupied territory in 1813 to warn British forces of an impending American attack.
>pic related: Laura ratting out the American positions to the British
If I had a time machine, I'd murder this cunt and all her relations to the very beginning of her family lineage.
Loser fucking cunt..................
>Can change flags at any time
>Hates the country whose flag you're using
>Still doesn't change flag
Oh boy I can't believe I needed to spell that out. You must be really really dumb. And you attacking me for being ideologically different from my flag, while youre doing the same thing and can change your flag, makes you a hypocrite. Can't believe I had to spell that out as well. This must be why Trump speaks at a fourth grade level publicly because geez.
>Hockey was invented in the UK
>Canada was a colony of the UK until very recently
This is like adding two and two together, honestly. I feel sorry for you and anyone who's had to teach you. If I were your mother I'd abort you.
Why would I change my flag? I live in Canada. I'm not a coward faggot like you, afraid of
>A FUCKING LEAF
I swear, they made those flags to save you poor fuck losers money on VPNs,
Canadians are the biggest proxy faggots on here.
Just cause the option is available, doesn't mean I need to use it, Einstien. It's fucking laughable you think you're intelligent.
>Hockey was invented in the UK
>Canada was a colony of the UK until very recently
>This is like adding two and two together, honestly. I feel sorry for you and anyone who's had to teach you. If I were your mother I'd abort you.
So you basically invented hockey yourself then, by that logic.
Genius here everyone.............
I'm out for the day. Till tomorrow.
Just Remember:
> I got nothing. It's hard to think of shit daily.
Going to take Sundays off for now on too.
Don't you dare wear the Canadian flag while spewing such hatred for the country.
And what? No. Canada was a part of the UK. Our governor general to this day serves under the queen. We and the British are connected, we didn't invent hockey but that doesn't mean it's not part of our culture and heritage you dumb, stupid, syrup guzzling manslut. I hope you get like, five paper cuts today.