Hey boys now that I have your attention, what's the easiest way to kill oneself? I'm asking for a desperate friend

Hey boys now that I have your attention, what's the easiest way to kill oneself? I'm asking for a desperate friend.

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helium tank

c ya dude

live

Did he just finish transition surgery?

Keep overeating you'll be there in no time.

Fat shit

go into a black neighborhood and shout "nigger". If you are white, the process will be a lot faster

"kill yourself"

lol no matter what you're coming back faggot there's no escape

I honestly don't know what you mean, could you please expound on this

publicly announce that you voted for trump

since you, I mean they, if they are, are in clapistan, blow your brains out with a shotgun

Drink bleach and livestream it. You probably have bleach under your sink right now.

Why are you asking on Sup Forums? This isn't politics related.

Wear a fake police uniform for triple points

If your friend doesn't know then he's in for a rough time.

Researching suicide carefully was a bit of a redpill for me. I've had exactly one friend who pulled it off right, and it only worked because he had an elaborate system of redundancy to take care of how badly he'd botched the individual parts of the plan.

ur mum isn't politics related

Just go outside. Dont you americans have like 200 mass shootings a day?

I have been a fervent Sup Forums poster since moot introduced it and yet you dipshits are fucking with me

just give me the fastest easiest way to kill myself ok

>be black
>call cops

Easiest? I suppose you could stop eating and drinking.
Hanging or jumping from a high building are also easy and less time consuming.

Don't kill yourself my man.

If there is no enemy inside the enemy outside can do us no harm

>be white
>wear MAGA hat in black neighborhood
>partially one populated by Bloods

>Don't kill yourself my man
you are a fucking idiot
everybody rational will kill themselves one day
please just shut up and let the suicide professionals handle this

okay so basically at this time I'm gathering that helium is the best way to go?

am I wrong? correct me please.

>you are a fucking idiot
That's very rude my dude.

Carbon monoxide from a car engine in an enclosed garage
Just sit in the car and then fall asleep, never wake up

There's a lot to go wrong with oxygen depravation, and you risk coming out of it brain damaged.

I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I am just looking for solid results. So that's what gets me. It's nothing personal brother.

Jump off a tall building, try to aim your landing on to a jew or a synagogue if you could

you're pointing out problems, which I appreciate, but you're not pointing out solutions

That republican asshole who I read about killed himself with helium, why cant I?

It's alright. Do you have a car? You could always just floor it and slam into a big tree or something.

He should get one of those flying squirrel suits so he can aim himself right at a Jew and shout
>LIGHTENING BOLT!
>LIGHTENING BOLT!
just before impact

Jump off a cliff

Works every time

Not a very good option. OP is being lazy. It's not hard to get it done right if you consider your options.

Won't work on newer cars 1990+

I do have a car.

How come you want to kill yourself? What is so bad about your life?

Randomly hit a flock of birds which break his fall leaving him in a permanent locked in syndrome

>OY VEYYY

Op I believe this is the answer you're looking for

Try a therapist first. Then maybe think of suicide after.

I can't believe you even have to ask that question.
I post on Sup Forums, right?
Isn't that all you need to know?

/thread

idk about you but I'm planning on snorting 9mg of fentanyl after drinking some vodka

Go outside and take a long hard look up at the universe.

There's also nothing wrong with going on psych meds. SSRIs and other antidepressant can be very beneficial for certain people.

I ~have~ been to a therapist. Therapy is for idiots. It's like faith healing. Honestly. It's shit.

>easiest
depends on your situation, what is available, etc.
but there is no afterlife
no respawning
so after death there is no memory, no nothing
no fun there
take up smoking or something

You can't go wrong with the old noose

Wanna hang out OP? We can play vidya or watch movies over skype or something.

Smoking works. Takes the edge off for a little while

Do you wanna kill ourselves together? :3

So does vodka but it actually makes everything worse

easiest? jump from a high place. wouldnt recommend that though. just OD on opiates like a real white man.

OP, you have a family? Tell them everything. I'm not asking you to get help from them. Don't cause them any unnecessary suffering. Come clean first. I suppose they deserve to know.

make sure to drink before doing the opiates for a guaranteed death

Get some vodka, and sleeping pills. Weed is optional. Wait until winter time when it's coldest. Go to some secluded place in the country. Bring some mp3 player with some music you want to listen to. Get faded and wait for the cold to feel warm.

Take the sleeping pills and let your conscious return to the void it was ripped from while the music slowly fades out.

At least thats what i would do.

They do not need to know anything. I don't know why you have said that frankly.

read /r9k/ for over 5 minutes, "they" will at least steady the resolve to end it all

Also, if this man kills himself, is the blood on our hands? How far does morality carry forward?

>wait until
>wait until
>wait until I'm a goddamn idiot

Go fuck yerself

If you want to go down, why do it the easy and boring way? Skydive, hunt with spears. be a fucking new Buster Keaton.

Don't do it

Once you learn how to smoke you'll prefer the dissociation that nicotine has to offer if your method of choice takes a lot of voluntary effort to go through with.

No, it isn't. I used to have a shit life when I was younger and my life is great now. I have problems just like others, but overall my life is great. I currently work in I.T.

I suppose so. Usually loved ones are the reason you stay alive. If your life really lacks vitality, if everything feels absolutely boring, I suppose it would make no difference whether you live or die. That's just how it is

youtu.be/E8tgLNgXCLA

Link: Porcupine Tree ~ Fear of a Blank Planet.

I work in I.T. currently!
I make *great* money.
It's the worst and I want to die.

>is the blood on our hands?
To some extent. I recommend against finding out what it's like to wonder how much blood might be on your hands if you had had a real chance to prevent it.

You can change. You can change your life, and give your life meaning. You don't have to kill yourself user. There's always someone else who has it worse.

this

You are gonna end up with massive brain damage, mostly aware but trapped in a vegetable body.

you have my attention? what do with slide threads?

My best friend killed himself. You wake up every morning thinking if you could've done something different, done something to help, and wonder if you were really that oblivious to his misery. I'd spare OP's family and friends that particular hell. Hence I asked him to come clean.

Get a 12 gauge shot gun. Get 00 buck shot. Point the gun in the mouth back towards the brainstem. DON'T point the gun straight up through the top of the head. DON't point the gun side to side through the temple. In through the mouth, slightly upward toward the brainstem. If you do this, you won't survive.

DON'T do it though. life is not so bad and there is still beauty in the world.

Time's Square subway station - Mennonite singers
youtube.com/watch?v=67LLfdJTAVA&index=51&list=PLQ0PXV3djGQtvN3GT83IFkkMFN9I9iRlw

Investigate the Clinton foundation

This is nuts, all these people that want to die on pol. I think you guys all just need to quit jacking off (it causes depressing brain fog) and quit viewing porn. Seriously. Get some exercise, eat right, start talking to real live women, find a hobby, and reach out to Trump supporters for wisdom.

Please post on the correct board.

That's what right to die laws are for, right? Buddy?
That whole Terrie Shiavo shit. I'll get on that if I'm not successful. But I'm making it clear in my suicide not that I do not legally want to be resuscitated. Like an anti-DNR.

>Investigate the Clinton foundation
critically underrated

Yep. Even worse when you have to basically take care of his parents after admitting that you knew what you knew and didn't put 2+2 together or even express any concern.

>Anonymous (ID: YKDAooSM) 07/16/17(Sun)23:37:15 No.1
Honestly I don't like sex, I don't like porn, I exercise, I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like unnatural and I want to perish and not deal with this whole shit. I hate this entire thing.

there is an entire website dedicated to the topic.

I don't see why you would be in a rush. We're all gonna be returned to the void at some point. I've had the same thoughts as you.

Just need to find whatever you think you are missing from your life.

You do drugs?

play videogames with me

The worst man. You can see it in their eyes. They hold you, and everyone else who knew about it to blame. It's enough to make you want to die.

I drink alcohol that's it. I get really drunk. I'm really drunk right now. I want to die right now.

And even when I am sober I wish to die.

Go back home and pass out. You're in no condition to think rationally. If you're home, Turn off the computer and sleep.

Yup. Apparently I'm the antichrist who lead a satanic ritual to convince everybody to sacrifice his son.

Oh well. I lost my best friend, but he's got it way worse, so I guess if it helps that I'm the antichrist then so be it.

Stupid Leaf faggot where did you learn to count ?
Only place people shooting each other are in low tier nigger neighborhoods .

>be asked how I'm doing
>always answer I'm fine
>I'm not

i just want the pain to end

Every time I'm in condition to think rationally, I genuinely wish I were drunk so that I could die.

Just want to be super obliterated so that I could die.

Take a drink of water and inhale it

That's just how life is. I still think OP should talk to family about everything. I believe euthanasia is legal in the States? Just see if he has exhausted all avenues to help, before committing suicide.

don't do this, you'll contribute to negative gun statistics, giving anti-gun legislation more "ammo" if you will

You have GABA deficiency...fix it and you will feel better.

It would be like carbon monoxide poisoning pretty much, but you can buy it in a tank

Yeah OP here I have not hanged myself yet
I do not know what this idiot is going on about with the antichrist and shit
obviously moses and jesus are not real, hence the antichrist is not real either
so yeah
go fuck everybody

don't fucking be a cunt user. You will be needed in the coming years. Stop being such a fucking faggot and man up.
Dont let (((them))) win. break your fucking programming and remember who your fucking forbears are and the world they created.

Hanging is not easy to get right. That's one of the worst ideas.

GABA user is right about your drinking problem.