CDN Morning News: I Slept In-ada Edition

"Slept In" meaning I was up till 6am, then crashed out till 10am.
It's Monday so it's time for the news with Lazurus Leaf.


Start off with a belly buster

>Look in the mirror and what do you see? Not enough diversity, says report

metronews.ca/entertainment/2017/07/16/look-in-the-mirror-and-what-do-you-see-not-enough-diversity-says-report.html

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
>muh 50000000% white cuntry!!!

Other urls found in this thread:

metronews.ca/news/canada/2017/07/16/aging-farmers-lack-of-succession-plans-put-future-of-family-farms-at-risk.html
metronews.ca/news/canada/2017/07/16/couillard-wants-to-talk-about-his-constitutional-document-with-other-premiers.html
metronews.ca/news/calgary/2017/07/16/seven-get-stuck-when-mach-3-breaks-down-at-calgary-stampede-midway.html
metronews.ca/news/canada/2017/07/16/american_women_seek_canadian_babies.html
metronews.ca/life/health/2017/07/17/doctors-say-more-support-needed-to-help-patients-reduce-opioid-use.html
youtube.com/watch?v=LJDjLin2W5E
metronews.ca/news/canada/2017/07/16/by-the-numbers-for-wildfires-burning-across-british-columbia.html
metronews.ca/news/canada/2017/07/16/offers-of-accommodation-supplies-and-entertainment-pour-in-for-b-c-fire-evacuees.html
metronews.ca/news/vancouver/2017/07/16/strong-winds-thunderstorms-may-hinder-efforts-to-contain-b-c-s-wildfires.html
cbc.ca/radio/day6/episode-346-fighting-wildfires-with-technology-pizzagate-returns-impeach-o-meter-game-of-thrones-and-more-1.4203979/trump-s-odds-of-staying-in-office-the-day-6-impeach-o-meter-for-july-14-1.4204043
archive.is/COEB6
cbc.ca/news/business/crea-housing-market-prices-1.4208256
cbc.ca/news/business/canadian-real-estate-impact-1.4203087
cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/muslims-react-cemetery-vote-1.4208144
cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/bc-wildfire-williams-lake-1.4207548
youtube.com/watch?v=Wb55teb1gJ0
cbc.ca/news/politics/2016-census-age-gender-1.4095360
archive.is/Tp6xF
cbc.ca/news/business/statistics-canada-seniors-1.3248295
archive.is/i3qW1
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

No Food-ada

>Aging farmers, lack of succession plans put future of family farms at risk

metronews.ca/news/canada/2017/07/16/aging-farmers-lack-of-succession-plans-put-future-of-family-farms-at-risk.html

What you Canadians going to eat, when all the farmers are dead??
Each other??

Canada isn't an overnight meme country!!!

Quebec, didn't sign the 1982 Charter of Rights and Freedoms

>Couillard wants to talk about his constitutional document with other premiers

metronews.ca/news/canada/2017/07/16/couillard-wants-to-talk-about-his-constitutional-document-with-other-premiers.html


America - Declaration of Independence signed in 1776

Canadian Charter of Privileges was written and signed in 1982 by Justines daddy.

HOUSING IS CRASHING HARD.

>Toronto existing home sales drop 37.7% y/y
Average Toronto existing home price fell 5.8% m/m
Average Toronto existing home price up 6.3% y/y

>pic related is journalist who try spreading bad propoganda about glorious socialist parade ice of canada.

Capitalism is false god.

*wrong image.... please feel free to approprate the image of hero lenin

Shitty ride built by shitty Leaf carny breaks and hurts people.

>Seven get stuck when Mach 3 breaks down at Calgary Stampede midway

metronews.ca/news/calgary/2017/07/16/seven-get-stuck-when-mach-3-breaks-down-at-calgary-stampede-midway.html

When I was a kid, I was at a Canadian summer fair where a guy died.
They had this "reverse slingshot" ride where you were strapped in, between 2 giant poles, pulled down and then released and flug upward to the end of the bungee line.
The line released it's apex and buddy feel like 100ft or so and died.
True Story.

>20% of american pregnancies are with canadian men near border states

metronews.ca/news/canada/2017/07/16/american_women_seek_canadian_babies.html

What you Americans going to do, when all your babies are Canadian??

you have never really lived until you go on a fair ride built by a man high on oxycontin and meth.
You can do this at any fair in canada.

Weed - BAD to most people

Opiates - prescribed like candy by "doctors"

>Doctors say more support needed to help patients reduce opioid use

metronews.ca/life/health/2017/07/17/doctors-say-more-support-needed-to-help-patients-reduce-opioid-use.html


One time after granddad had a new body part put in, he had a huge bottle of Oxycotin.
I was over and he was all doped up, grabbed the bottle and said
>You want these?? I hear they're worth a lot of money

Ha ha ha ha

This is the third monthly decline in a row...

youtube.com/watch?v=LJDjLin2W5E

My town stopped having the main one like 10-15 years ago.
"Too loud" for all the old whiners, who are still fucking alive, 10-15 years later.

boomers hate the sound of happiness

>metronews.ca/news/canada/2017/07/16/american_women_seek_canadian_babies.html

Odd............

>pic related

Unless it's their own.

WILDFIRES!!!!

>By the numbers for wildfires burning across British Columbia
metronews.ca/news/canada/2017/07/16/by-the-numbers-for-wildfires-burning-across-british-columbia.html

>Offers of accommodation, supplies and entertainment pour in for B.C. fire evacuees
metronews.ca/news/canada/2017/07/16/offers-of-accommodation-supplies-and-entertainment-pour-in-for-b-c-fire-evacuees.html

>Officials 'scrambling' to meet needs of B.C. wildfire evacuees: minister
metronews.ca/news/vancouver/2017/07/16/strong-winds-thunderstorms-may-hinder-efforts-to-contain-b-c-s-wildfires.html

One province is on fire
Housing market is crashing
Dollar is based on oil, but somehow at 79cents

W_E_W_L_A_D

Fucking amature hour in this country

>DARRRRRRRRRRRRRR Americans did everything for us in the past, we don't know what to do!!!

Loser Canadians have "impeach-o-meter" for Bad Drumpf
>Trump's odds of staying in office: The Day 6 Impeach-O-Meter for July 14

cbc.ca/radio/day6/episode-346-fighting-wildfires-with-technology-pizzagate-returns-impeach-o-meter-game-of-thrones-and-more-1.4203979/trump-s-odds-of-staying-in-office-the-day-6-impeach-o-meter-for-july-14-1.4204043

Hey dipshits, look at the totally UNACCOMPLISHED LOSER running (YOUR) country.

Jezus fuck, someone needs to teach you people a lesson.

Don't give them traffic archive.is/COEB6

Archivebot to the rescue. Thanks

WOW, it;s actually happening. Boomers are going to lose their asses.

>Average Canadian house worth $504,458 in June, down 10% since April

cbc.ca/news/business/crea-housing-market-prices-1.4208256

Get fucked you greedy pieces of human trash.

>One province is on fire
the new 'diversified' forestry service's fault.

the white men they replaced were doing something out there that stopped the fires being so bad. no one knows what.

Oh look, my personal favorite, the ARCTIC FOREST FIREFIGHTER turned business expert, Don Pitis has something to say about it too

>Sniffing out the truth about the end of the Canadian real estate boom: Don Pittis

cbc.ca/news/business/canadian-real-estate-impact-1.4203087

You put waaaaaaaaaaaay to much value on what "white canadians" do.

Like you imagine stuff. Cause they lived like pioneers until the 1950s................

Is this a hate crime under Bill M-103???

>'What are they afraid of?' Quebec imams condemn vote against Muslim cemetery

cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/muslims-react-cemetery-vote-1.4208144

36,000 homeless

>11 emergency centres across B.C. scramble to help 36,600 wildfire evacuees

cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/bc-wildfire-williams-lake-1.4207548


Not my fault eh? Hey losers, shoulda lived where it's NOT on fire eh? Ever think of that?? Eh?? Go get a job at Tim Hortons and work for a new house loser.

I'm sure the statistics will show there are no differences between whites and other races, especially crime stats and general competency numbers. I'm sure the non-diverse forest service just 'got lucky' and it is 'global warmings fault'. I'll be even more sure when the arbiters of truth at the CBC tell me.

until then i will dream of the beige horizon of equality and hope:

youtube.com/watch?v=Wb55teb1gJ0

White Canadians are drugged out, violent, psychotic alcoholic junkies.

Like you're the bottom of the white races. Don't point fingers. Must Canadians survive off petty crime, white collar crime and fucking over anyone they can.

I'm not posting news stories about Americans here bud........

Half my family comes from a clan of inbred bootleggers.

NOT criminal, just good ol boys trying to make some damned money eh??

First joke I ever heard about Canadians

>What do Canadian women, say to their dates??
Get off me daddy, you're squishing my smokes

HAW HAW HAW

DAILY REMINDER; More than Half of ALL Canadians will be dead in 40-50 years.

>Canadian seniors now outnumber children for 1st time, 2016 census shows

cbc.ca/news/politics/2016-census-age-gender-1.4095360
archive.is/Tp6xF

>More Canadians are 65 and over than under age 15, StatsCan says

cbc.ca/news/business/statistics-canada-seniors-1.3248295
archive.is/i3qW1


NO ONE cares.............
Don't worry, I get it. It feels like my grandad will never die. He's been alive my whole life, why is that going to change? It won't.

Everyone dies.

It's going to be weird. I mean literal post-apocolyptic scenario of a giant empty country of little or no laws

I'd say a good portion are 75+ too.

With the housing market collapsing, Boomers are going to loose their shirts and commit suicide in droves, leaving their elderly parents uncared for, cause the youth are hungry and hate filled.

Half will be dead in 5 years.
Strange days ahead.


I'm out for today. Feel free to keep the thread going.

Just remember
> Boomers are finally losing their asses