Florida Thread

Thread for the best state of the US.

Other urls found in this thread:

clickorlando.com/news/st-cloud-homeowners-find-catfish-in-mailboxes
orlandosentinel.com/news...-murder-cooked-body-parts-20141117-story.html
thesmokinggun.com/documents/The-Villages-sex-couple-sentenced-687591
clickorlando.com/news/body-of-woman-2-live-monkeys-found-in-florida-hotel-room
news.yahoo.com/video/police-burglar-hid-police-eaten-140049438.html
thesmokinggun.com/buster/clearwater/woman-busted-for-dildo-battering-786902
cnn.com/2014/11/06/justice/florida-amputee-sought-in-slayings/
archive.is/BXENn
thesmokinggun.com/buster/florida/walmart-stuffed-animal-defiler-657903
news-journalonline.com/article/20141007/NEWS/141009574/0/BREAKING
extracredit.blog.palmbeachpo...-school-principal-suspended-after-pot-arrest/
news.yahoo.com/florida-woman-found-dead-arrows-head-205015049.html
twitter.com/AnonBabble

352 reporting in, white power and have a bump

Live in philly but from Florida, 386 and 352.

I heard the new medical marijuana laws are bullshit

I used to live in South Florida.
I'm glad I don't now.

772 anyone?

They are. They restrict it to several illnesses and still possessing it is considered a crime

Wewlad all niggers are employee by the state

Yeah, it's rough. I went to report my neighbor's illegal building, which I can understand not wanting to pull a permit but he has now endangered my property, and the niggers there threatened to go over my property with a fine tooth comb when I asked for a timeline on the inspector stopping by after three days of no reply after they told me he'd be by that afternoon. Just sad, but that's living with niggers for ya.

ST. CLOUD, Fla. - Several residents in Osceola County have found catfish in their mailboxes and yards, prompting questions whether it's a prank or something more serious.

Maddison Fertic said she received an unusual delivery Monday morning when her postman discovered a large, dead catfish inside her mailbox.

"I was honestly in shock because it doesn't make any sense," Fertic said. "It's just one of those things where it's, just, 'Why?'"

Fertic said the fish was 12 inches long, and she had to use a stick to pull it out.

"It looked like it could have been a live fish that somebody stuck in there and then it flopped around like fish do because the whole mailbox is dirty," she said.

Fertic is not the only one to get the unwelcome mail. According to a Facebook page for Osceola County residents, two other people reported similar incidents this week. One resident reported finding a catfish in her mailbox and another said a fish was thrown into the yard of her St. Cloud home.

"I was kind of in shock that somebody would do that. It's not something you hear of every day," Fertic said.

Fertic said she lives in a quiet, family-friendly neighborhood. She thinks she is a random victim, adding that no one else on her street was targeted. She believes the incidents could be related to kids playing pranks, but she is worried the silly stunts could turn into bigger potential crimes.

"It starts with the catfish in the mailbox, but then it starts with breaking into a car. You never know where things escalate to," she said.

Fertic plans to file a police report.

>clickorlando.com/news/st-cloud-homeowners-find-catfish-in-mailboxes

>Completely flat flat flat
>Entire terrain is concrete suburbia after concrete suburbia with the occasional alligator-infested swamp you can't set a single foot in between, followed by more concrete suburbia
>Completely entirely Hispanic, the extremely few whites left are all Jewish

Yea, nah, I'd rather live in Russia

What u gonna do when a Bermese python slithers out of ur shitter and bites ur nuts?

Port St. Lucie here, brother. I'm black though...

Angela Stoldt told officials she took a hacksaw to her neighbor's body last year and tried to cook away evidence of James Sheaffer.

One leg went in the oven. Other parts went into pots.

Stoldt's house in Deltona smelled of burning flesh, but she assured her daughter it was just a rat broiling in the oven, according to details made public last week after a grand jury charged her with first-degree murder.

"Thursday is when I was cooking him," Stoldt told investigators. "Friday is when I was dumping him."

Court documents filed last week detail for the first time her alleged confession and attempts to make his body vanish. According to the documents, cooking didn't work. She allegedly ended up putting the remains into trash bags and dropping them into dumpsters in New Smyrna Beach.

>orlandosentinel.com/news...-murder-cooked-body-parts-20141117-story.html

>hot AND humid

I'll take California's mexicans/liberals over roasting in a giant sauna all day.

Couple Gets Six Months In Jail For Public Sex
Duo caught trysting at sprawling Florida retirement community

NOVEMBER 10--The Florida couple arrested last month for having sex in public at a sprawling Florida retirement community have each been sentenced to six months in jail for their morning tryst atop an electrical box.

Charm Gilbert, 40, and James Adams, 47, were found guilty last week of indecent exposure and disorderly conduct in connection with their October 1 outdoor interlude at The Villages, the 55,000-resident community that bills itself as “Florida’s Friendliest Retirement Hometown.”

Gilbert and James, who have been in custody since their arrest, pleaded no contest to the misdemeanor counts. In addition to the jail time, they have each been ordered to pay more than $1000 in fines and court fees.

A deputy was dispatched to The Villages in response to a 911 call about “two naked people making out.” The cop subsequently found Gilbert and James, pictured above, “having sexual intercourse within direct view of the public” near an entrance to the retirement community.

The deputy reported that when he approached the couple around 8:40 AM, Gilbert was “lying on an electrical box with her legs spread open.” Her breasts were exposed and she “also had her shorts and underwear fully off exposing her vagina,” the cop added. As for Adams, he was “fully naked exposing his penis.”

Adams--who lives about a mile from where he was collared--told the deputy that he and Gilbert were frolicking outdoors “due to them not having any other place to go.”

Gilbert and Adams are the second couple to get six months in custody for having sex in public at The Villages. In June, a 69-year-old woman and her 49-year-old partner were sentenced for having sex in a town square. Both couples were sentenced by County Court Judge Thomas Skidmore.

>thesmokinggun.com/documents/The-Villages-sex-couple-sentenced-687591

NORTH PORT, Fla. – Authorities say the body of a woman was found along with two live monkeys in a hotel room in southwest Florida.

North Port city spokesman Josh Taylor says 59-year-old Linda Marie Smith of Arcadia was found dead Friday at the Budget Inn.

Taylor tells the Herald Tribune that two capuchin monkeys were found in carriers in Smith's room.

Taylor says police plan to interview a man who also had been found incoherent in the room. The man hasn't been identified.

An autopsy is pending. Taylor says there were no signs of trauma to Smith's body.

The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission took custody of the monkeys. Spokesman Robert Klepper says the animals would be placed with someone licensed to own a capuchin monkey as an exotic pet.

clickorlando.com/news/body-of-woman-2-live-monkeys-found-in-florida-hotel-room


Police: Burglar who hid from police eaten by gator
by WABC – NY 1:42 mins

Police in Florida now know what happened to a burglar who hid from officers. He was eaten by an alligator.

news.yahoo.com/video/police-burglar-hid-police-eaten-140049438.html

Cops Arrest Woman, 57, For Battering Female Domestic Partner With Dildo

A Florida woman is facing a domestic battery charge after allegedly using a dildo to batter her female domestic partner during a fight in the couple’s residence, police allege.

The confrontation Saturday evening occurred while a Clearwater Police Department officer was inside the home of Annette Kielhurn, 57, and Gamze Capaner-Ridley.

The cop was present to oversee Capaner-Ridley’s removal of personal belongings from the house, a move apparently prompted by Capaner-Ridley’s filing the prior day for a civil domestic violence injunction against Kielhurn.

After the women tussled over possession of a dress, Officer Eric Blomgren directed Kielhurn not to touch the 47-year-old Capaner-Ridley. However, “Shortly afterwards the defendant intentionally shoved a ‘dildo’ in the victim’s face and grabbed her right arm while arguing whose it belonged to,” Blomgren reported.

As a result, the cop arrested Kielhurn for domestic battery. An arrest affidavit does not indicate whether the dildo was seized as evidence.

Seen above, Kielhurn--who has Capaner-Ridley’s first name tattooed on her chest--was booked into jail on the misdemeanor charge. She was released from custody after posting $500 bond. According to court records, Kielhurn was arrested in late-June for trespassing (and the case is pending).

Kielhurn, a former New York State corrections officer, served about three years in prison for narcotics trafficking after a 1996 police search of her rental car turned up 25 kilos of cocaine in the vehicle’s trunk.

thesmokinggun.com/buster/clearwater/woman-busted-for-dildo-battering-786902

850 reporting in. Fort Walton/Destin best beach in america

Florida: The farther north you go the more South it gets.

(CNN) -- Police were searching for an amputee Thursday after the shooting deaths of his parents in Florida.

Investigators with the Orange County Sheriff's Office found Michael Petrozzino, 63, and Nancy Petrozzino, 64, fatally shot Tuesday at their Orlando area home after Nancy failed to report to the elementary school where she taught.

Homicide detectives have released a surveillance photo of Sean Petrozzino taken Tuesday morning by a Wells Fargo ATM in Orlando and are calling him a "person of interest" in the slayings. In the photo, he appears to be clutching cash with the end of his arms, which end near his wrists. He stands on prosthetic legs.

Officials have declined to call Petrozzino a suspect but say he may have a weapon and is considered dangerous. He was last seen in his parents' vehicle, a red 2012 Toyota Camry with Florida tags, and is thought to be in South Florida.

"Please note for identification purposes, the physical characteristics of his hands," the Sheriff's Office said in an advisory.
CNN affiliate WFTV said Petrozzino, 30, lost portions of his limbs as a child because of bacterial meningitis. The station reported that neighbors said he had recently moved in with his parents after having financial troubles.

Michael Petrozzino worked at Disney World, and Nancy Petrozzino taught second grade for 10 years at Andover Elementary School in Orlando.

"We're at a loss. She was very well-liked," Orange County Public Schools spokeswoman Kathy Marsh said.

>cnn.com/2014/11/06/justice/florida-amputee-sought-in-slayings/

Archive or screenshot please
archive.is/BXENn

A Florida man today took a stuffed animal off a Walmart shelf and then used the toy to masturbate before returning the ejaculate-covered item to a store shelf, police report.

The repulsive episode occurred around 3 PM at a Walmart in Brooksville, a city 50 miles north of Tampa.

According to a police report, Sean Johnson, 19, “selected a brown, tan, and red stuffed horse from the clearance shelf in the garden department.” He then went to the comforter aisle in the housewares section, “proceeded to pull out his genitals,” and “proceeded to hump the stuffed horse utilizing short fast movements.” The lewd act was captured by surveillance cameras.

After Johnson “achieved an orgasm and ejaculated on the stuffed horse’s chest area,” he placed the “soiled stuffed horse on top of a bed in a bag (comforter set) contaminating that property also.”

While Johnson fled the store before he could be apprehended by Walmart security, he was subsequently arrested by Brooksville Police Department officers. In a written statement, Johnson admitted that, “I did unmentionables to a stuffed animal.” Noting that he committed a “horrible act,” Johnson added, “I need to think before what I do. I’m extremely sorry.”

Johnson, seen in the above mug shot, was charged with indecent exposure and criminal mischief and booked into the Hernando County jail. He was released from custody at 9:45 tonight after posting $1500 bond.

The Walmart merchandise that came into contact with the reshelved stuffed animal was deemed contaminated and not suitable for sale.

>thesmokinggun.com/buster/florida/walmart-stuffed-animal-defiler-657903

If you guys didn't have niggers I'd move there in an instant.

>tfw you are half german half thai born in Florida and central florida is still full of white germanic people.

How do we solve the invasive species problem, boys? It's just a matter of time until they bring black mambas, cobras, and pit vipers. We'll have no choice but to bring in mongoose to fight them off.

Idaho is best

A strip club dancer angry that her boyfriend would not converse with her beat him, then went after him with an ax, Daytona Beach police said.

Tammy Hiser, 34, was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and battery causing bodily harm, according to her arrest report.

Daytona Beach police said they were called at 12:55 a.m. Monday to the Days Inn at 2409 W. International Speedway Blvd. where Andrew Whitaker, 28, reported he had been battered by his girlfriend of two years.

Whitaker and Hiser moved to the Daytona Beach area and were living at his mother’s home but were kicked out because of Hiser’s drinking, a police report indicates.

Whitaker told police that he picked up Hiser at Biggins, a strip club in Daytona Beach Shores where Hiser worked, but that his girlfriend was drunk, officers wrote in their report.

Once inside the vehicle, Hiser tried to make conversation with Whitaker but the boyfriend, who was mad because Hiser was intoxicated, refused to answer, police said.

Hiser then got upset because Whitaker would not talk to her so she punched him repeatedly in the face until they got to the hotel, police said.

When the couple got to the hotel, Whitaker got out of the vehicle and went to the room. Moments later, Hiser showed up at the room’s door with an ax in her hands and told Whitaker that if he called the police she would strike him with the implement, police said.

Hiser then walked toward Whitaker and swung the ax at him, police said.

Whitaker was able to grab the ax from Hiser and hit her in the face and ran out of the room and called police, the report states.

Once outside, Whitaker noticed that Hiser had used the ax to shatter the windshield on his car, police said.

In the September incident, Hiser beat Whitaker because he told her he could no longer be with her if she didn’t stop drinking, Whitaker said.

>news-journalonline.com/article/20141007/NEWS/141009574/0/BREAKING

The principal of the Mavericks High of Palm Springs charter school has been suspended after police say they caught her in a marijuana-filled car with one of her students.

Krista E. Morton, 45, of Wellington, was arrested Wednesday after cops received a call about possible sexual activity in a parking lot by Lakeside Park in North Palm Beach.

Police say they found Morton in the car with an 18-year-old senior from the school. The report says Morton’s “shirt was unbuttoned, exposing her shoulders and part of her chest.”

Morton first told officers that she and the student were “just friends,” an arrest report stated. Then cops say she claimed he was a stranger she had picked up off the street because she was lonely.

Later, the 19-year-old student admitted to cops that Morton was the principal of his school.

Cops said they smelled marijuana coming from the car and discovered a plastic container containing marijuana.

Both Morton and the student were arrested on marijuana possession charges. Morton spent the night in jail and was released this morning, jail records show.

Mavericks High, an alternative charter school located on Congress Avenue in Palm Springs, says it has suspended Morton pending the outcome of the investigation.

Lauren Hollander, CEO of the Mavericks In Education management company that operates the school, called it “a very unfortunate situation.”

“First and foremost is the best interests of the students in the school,” she said.

The Mavericks charter school chain was founded by Frank Biden, brother of Vice President Joe Biden.

>extracredit.blog.palmbeachpo...-school-principal-suspended-after-pot-arrest/

Honestly there's so many of them, they kind of define us at this point. Saw some wild peacocks just a couple weeks ago and they were clearly pretty used to humans since they freak out at my presence.

MARY ESTHER, Fla. (AP) — A Florida man told police he shot his mother with a gun and a bow-and-arrow and then stabbed her Sunday because he claimed she "stole his diamonds and also gave his father cancer," authorities said.

The Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office received a call at 2:48 a.m. Sunday reporting a man knocking over Christmas decorations and yelling at another person. When deputies arrived, they found 65-year-old Gloria Watkins slumped forward in a chair with arrows protruding from her head.

Her son, Michael Watkins, 42, admitted to the killing, according to an arrest report.

"You see that, that's death," Watkins said as he pointed to his mother, according to the report.

Watkins claimed his mother "stole his diamonds and also gave his father cancer" and that "he had to kill her because she was trying to kill him," the report said. The report did not say why or how she was trying to kill him.

Watkins was charged with murder and resisting arrest without violence. The sheriff's office said Watkins ignored repeated commands to get on the ground. After eventually complying, he stood up and retrieved a large knife from a sheath on his belt, authorities said.

Deputies used stun guns on Watkins twice.

An autopsy was to be conducted on the victim. It's not clear if Watkins has an attorney. Officials with the jail and the sheriff's office could not be reached.

>news.yahoo.com/florida-woman-found-dead-arrows-head-205015049.html

239 reporting in

813 up in this bitch

813 checking in

who /whitechase/ here

My apologies nordbot. I thought the greentext mitigated it

Where the hell did those lizards even come from?

I saw 1 a couple years ago and now I see more of those fuckers than i see geckos.

Scares the shit out of me every time I see one.

Broward County checking in. This neighborhood is Trump country.

>claims to be white
>lives somewhere it never snows

Thanks for being a containment zone for illegal Puerto Ricans, Haitians, Dominicans and Cubans.

Just moved to the panhandle 6 mos ago, this state is hilariously incompetent.

ayy where in

what are the british isles

Brothers, how do we gain the military strength and financial backing to annex the gulf coasts of Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, and Texas by 2020?

We could also consider the Atlantic coasts of Georgia and the Carolinas.

>illegal Puerto Ricans

727 reporting in

>illegal
>Puerto Ricans

Fix that bruv. Also, NYC is more of a containment area for Ricans & Dominicans. As for Cubans, they proved decisive in giving the Donald the victory here

t. Miamifag Cuban

Broward Boy here sieg heiling right back atcha.

Why the fuck would you white trash niggers want to like in a sweltering croc infested swamp which sits below sea level and will get washed away with the next cat 5 any day now?

Too little English spoken?

I'd move to Florida if I liked Jews and inhaling swap gas

You gonna nuke us Kim?

Florida should own all of this, bare minimum. If Cuba was annexed and made ours a century ago, it would have been great.

They're a commonwealth, not a state. They need Visas to work/live here longer than 90 days. Cubans are given instant amnesty though thanks to JFK, sole reason was to piss Castro off.

Then you'd have Haitian boatnogs trying to cross over into the now wealthy Cuba in droves.

The agama lizard is straight out of Africa. They'll inevitably replace the brown anole, like the brown anole replaced the green anole.

No.

Our icbm is for Japan first

>Mercilessly humid
>Full of mosquitoes
>Full of niggers, spics, beaners, and kikes.
>Nobody South of Orlando speaks English
>Only whites are inbred rednecks
>Almost got bit by a water moccasin the other day cleaning my coy pond

Based gun laws though

954 reporting in. at the gym, having a great start to my neet week

Miami went dark blue what are you talking about those Cuban niggers didn't help us at all.

Everything you said was wrong except for Florida being pretty flat

So, we have a bunch of Haitians in Florida. If we conquered the Caribbean a century or two ago, those places wouldn't be as shit as they are now.

Look at Florida after a tropical storm/hurricane and look at the Caribbean. After a it runs it's course, we Floridians rise from our dwellings and travel to Pollo Tropical or Publix, while the Caribbean goes through a tropical Mad Max situation. Why? Because of building code.

Moving out of Florida soon. Bittersweet feeling. Grew up in Treasure Coast

Oh shit, what highschool? Saint Lucie West Centennial here.

Grew up in Broward, checks out.

Hollywood beach a few weeks ago

Oh shit man! Jensen beach high

...

glorious Broward County

>no one south of Orlando speaks English
>what is tampa bay

...

...

Full of Jews

407 reporting

...

...

...

that'd be miami

west florida is based

What crops grow in Florida besides Orange trees?

...

863 here. Florida may have a shitty education system but it isn't all bad. While in in highschool, all the black people flew Confederate flags, loved Trump and we're generally Republicans. The Hispanics hated Trump and there were several fights. (All most a race war) It was hilarious to watch.

It is, the one they wrote up in 2013 that got shot down was fucking perfect
The jews here won't let anything pass no matter how good it is until they're guaranteed to make money off it plain and simple

Good, we're full

t. yankeecuck that has no idea what the fuck he's talking about
Your kind are a dime a dozen
Fuck off our clay and go back to your own shithole

FtL

Good, we don't want pussies here

Cry more georgia

Honestly, Tampa is not too bad. Most of Fort Myers and Saint Augustine is still pretty based as well.

Lol, that's actually pretty true

It's not that bad mate, sure as hell beats the chink/kebab infestation you got
Come to central or the coastal part of the panhandle and you'll be fine
>Mfw there are literally multiple eurocucks and out of state cunts who legitimately believe that Florida is majority Anglo
>Mfw their entire argument hinges on everyone lying about their ethnicity or that they changed their names to be german

>How do we solve the invasive species problem
Start chopping off the hands of people who bring them to our state
No more mercy

fll

850 Master Race reporting. Fuck the nigger infested shit hole that is Tallahassee. A blight upon our area code.

Snow is for faggots who like the idea of freezing to death and everything he's ever owned being destroyed by water damage annually
Fuck off back to your shithole blue state faggot
>Inb4 but muh state went trump

1. NY
2. CA
3. MA
4. Nj
5. TX
6. MI
7. VA
8. WA
9. NH
10. CO
----------------
50. AL

We already have all that
Our problem is a lack of initiative to take said clay

Don't forget our greatest contribution to meme culture, Florida Man Headlines!

why do people either love or hate florida? ive never been

Agreed, Grayton Beach used to be the best, but the cancer that is Seaside infested the area with west coast transplants. Now everything is overpriced and bougy.

>will get washed away with the next cat 5 any day now?
People been sayin that for the last 300 years and it's yet to happen faggot
Ain't no goddamn storm out there that can rip the Gunshine state from his perch

So JFK let beaners into our country to piss off another beaner?

Nah, if we have take it we would patrol the shit out of it and stopping illegal border incursions would be a much higher priority than it is now

You don't like it get the fuck out cuck
>Nobody south of Orlando speaks English
You're either a Yankee that doesn't live here or you need a goddamn bullet in your done
Either way you're wrong