I'm a brain surgeon- ask me anything

Brain surgeon here. AMA.

How likely is it to get into med school as a white guy?

Hey ben,hows Mr trump doing?

What you think of the italian guy working with the chinese to switch peoples heads?
I think a crippled guys head on the body of a braindead guys body.
Doesnt the operation start this fall or something?

Why did you become a brain surgeon against medical advise?

how to get a cute wholesome gf asap?

I do massive amounts of dopaminergic stims.
Prognosis?

Will we ever use pure hydrogen oxygen heavy lifters again or has hydrazine and solid propellant taken preferred status in the industry?

Are womens brains more retarded than mens?

how much does your malpractice insurance cost?
(as a fraction of your salary)

can you insure your hands?

How much longer til we have Deus Ex tier implants? Can you read minds?

Are you black and talk slow?

Have you ever poured Mountain Dew on a patients brain?

What was your biggest fuck up during surgery?

What is the primary vascular channel for an oligodendro glioma?

...

Whats up with this?

Willing to bet this is a slide thread.

Are traps gay?

Are you a brain surgeon?

along the same lines. is your picture a trap OP?

How can Ben Carson be so stupid?

Why don't you get a real education, Ben?

A very dear family member of mine has to undergo a brain surgery and I am really glad there are people like you guys. I praise your work and your dedication. God bless you.

Why does it take so long for you to answer the questions?

Maybe we have to answer for him

An 80-year-old man with a Glasgow Coma Scale score of 15 is admitted to the intensive care unit three hours following a fall from ground level. Bilateral proximal humerus fractures have been splinted. CT scans of the brain and cervical spine show a 1cm left frontal lobe intracerebral contusion and chronic degenerative changes to the cervical spine without acute fracture. Neurological assessment show good motor strength and reflexes in the lower extremities. Motor strength in the upper extremities is difficult to fully assess due to the fractures, but the patient appears to have bilateral loss of fine motor movement in the fingers and weakness with wrist flexion and extension.

What is your diagnosis, why, and what is your prognosis?

Alternatively provide us with a timestamp of your medical degree, and either PhD or or a censored payslip.

can u make my brain more intelligent?
pls asking for a friend

>1 post by this ID
When will John McCain die? How badly can we hope he will suffer?

What's the best way to perform lobotomy on some one? I have a friend that has become a liberal fucktard and I'm thinking of drugging her to sleep and perform lobotomy.

>fall from ground level
>debilitating injuries
How

Take her to one of your cities and leave her for about 5 mins. No lobotomy needed. Just let the north African Muslim pack's rape her; might red pill her; if not, leave her to get murdered.

Something tells me OP isn't going to deliver

>good motor skills in lower extremities
>debilitating

Did you read the problem or just the first line?

To answer your question though, its an 80 year old man. They break their hips when they trip.

Why don't you fuck off back to r eddit where you belong?

Whats the mechanic that causes autists to keep replying to an obvious bait thread?

Do you operate on the tranny clones, or do they go to the masonic hospitals, like the Queen?

What do brains feel like?

>Go to church.
Church is for praying, not searching for whores.

How does it feel to live in the shadow of rocket scientists?

Ive had brain surgery but OP after 30+ replies is a fuckin
>1 post nigger

What the fuck are you doing wasting your time on Sup Forums
I hope you get a malpractice suit

>nigger brain vs white brain
Who would win?

If shooting myself (hypothetically), is it best to
1) Through mouth, up 45 degree angle at CNS
2) Through mouth, up 60-80 degrees at brain mass
3) Between the eyes from outside face
4) Temple horizontally

>not knowing the complexity of a human brain
It may seem pretty simple to you taking into account youve never used it before.

#

>white
>M.D.

Not looking good, holmes.

Fill out the questionnaire:

1.Are you cis?
2. Any strong delusions re: your peepee?
3. Are you scum?

If 1 and/or 3 just kys.
If 2 chop it off and start wearing a halter top and we can schedule your interview.

#

Go to church.

#

>advise

Wew.

#

Hallucinations.

#

No, we are graduating to gunpowder.

#

Scientific studies say absolutely.

#

It depends on your specialty. I pay over 100k/yr, so about 15%.

#

Yes. You can insure anything.

#

We have been there for awhile, so to speak.

#

Lymphatic system is ususally the path.

#

Shut up, Tyrone.

My money's on the poor guy dying due to his head being removed from his body.

Only answered easy questions too. Can just Google certain definitions and get a response because thats what everyone has done to ask him a question.

I want to see him answer before I even half believe him.

nice ama

Nah I'm really thinking of doing lobotomy. I've got the tools and some books from an old mentalhospital in my town. It was the largest hospital that experimented with lobotomy in Sweden. It shut down in the 70s but they just locked it up and left everything still in there, even patients journals. They turned the hospital in to flets last year, but i managed to get in and raid the place a few years back.

How does the brain heal from Brain Surgery?

Brain cells divide much slower than normal cells so do you use some paste or some shit and will it ever be consumed and heal for any incision?

I wouldn't know.

#1

On the order of months.

Hey mate I'm no doctor, I'm just a programmer I don't know this shit.

"Hallucination" isn't a prognosis retard. It's a symptom and part of the diagnosis.

How much for a brain? Are there brain sales?

What are shitstain mccains chances of surviving?

Sorry, just the brit culture coming out in me. Been studying here for 6 years now it's running off.

Do your parents know you're gay?

Any new treatments for glioblastoma? Surgeries for the tumor if it's in front of your brain stem?

When you are carving up someone's brain, do your thoughts ever turn to cock?

Would you save McCain if you were the last doctor able to save him from his cancer? Or would you botch the operation on purpose, leaving him dead on the slab? Or would you save him, but leave him an invalid, only able to blink his eyes like robot physics professor

Are Negro brains physically darker than the brains of white people, due to melanin? Is there a statistically significant difference in either the weights of the brains as a whole, or the thickness of the prefrontal cortexes between black people's brains and those of white people?

>Hallucinations.
Oh my dear child we're way past that point.
I regularly have tea and biscuits with the shadow people.

Do yours?

and this thread sucks

why dont you kys you larping faggot?

Are you a methhead? Or are you doing this to work more efficiently? Business or pleasure, or a combination of both?

Timestamp or GTFO

This is on the medical school general application. How is this justified?

Bonus: Would it behoove me to just say I identify as female? Or do they see through that shit during an interview.

I got waitlisted then denied and now I have to do all this shit over again.

Yes, often, but not during brain surgery. Also, I was asking OP, not you, jizzknuckles.