Prison, justified or otherwise

What's the best strategy for surviving prison? All countries are welcome ITT. What you did to get imprisoned might not be cool, but the judicial/correctional systems of various countries are definitely worth discussing. I'll start. I've been in a holding cell three times, but never convicted of anything more than a traffic violation. I did carry a gun concealed without a permit for a while and got caught doing it, but I hired a good lawyer and now have no record. I'm not ashamed at all. It's my right as a human being and an American. Tell your prison stories here. Did you fuck up? Did you survive? Are you sorry?

Other urls found in this thread:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MS-13#History
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

As anyone seen that show Locked/Banged up Abroad?

Can any foreigners verify if any of those shows are accurate.

is saw it. did you see the one in columbia? i think they killed that guy. he was a dumbass though and almost deserved it if that was real and i bet it was real.

Probably, I forget which one, though.

The one with Thailand and that dude getting crammed into an area with hundreds of people all sharing needles was fucked.

Most prisons in the US are pretty well run with strong controls by the guards. But there are no guarantees. I found that the strong and the smart were the two groups who were generally safe. If one has a quiet, smart, reserved manner then he will do fine. Even the baddest black gangster will generally avoid conflict with a scholar. He needs the smart nerd eventually. He won't burn a possible bridge to freedom. One of the best strategies is to study law, especially laws concerning appeals and case law that is most common during appeals. Be smart, be tough, or be someone's gf

well that's questionable. dealing drugs can endanger ppl's lives, but if you were just selling weed or something else that doesn't kill ppl, that's different. if you sell drugs ppl can od on and especially if you don't tell them exactly what they're getting, i'd be fine with you getting manslaughter at least.

Learn to cook with minimal supplies, game the mail system or tattoo. People will still fuck with you, but if you're the one guy on the block who can cook a pizza, get them porn/jellybeans or tattoo reasonably well, no one is going to come after you as long as you keep quiet and perform your function.

Either get yer 'ead down or stand up to everyone,anytime
I was in for 4 months one time and must have had eight fights.
One time I wanted to read the wings newspaper but they were all hoarded by one nutter in a six man pad, I marched in and picked which newspapers I wanted and was challenged straight away by the nutter jumping me and biting my fucking forehead! I south-pawed him fast and hard getting him in the corner and beating him till his padmates asked if he wanted help, he said no.lel but stayed curled up, I took my papers and left.
Cleaners came to his cell and got him a knife. I was moved off.
Another time a guy with a paki gang tried pushing in the dinner queue so I put my tray out and they all went smack crazy.
I still stopped 6 of them getting in my cell.

OP I did create one but here .
Nick/jail is Boriiing as Feck !
there are EVIL guys who will mind rape you inside , let that shit go and dont end up his Bitch/homo Punk ! these guys are Gutless Bullies and Battering them is seen as kudos/Respect .

I would agree but the same argument could be made against gun and ammo sellers. They are not responsible for abuse of product. The difference with drugs, perhaps, is that any use is dangerous and so the seller KNOWS that the user is in danger. There are not proper uses of hard drugs...kinda like selling suicide pills and then arguing that the seller isn't responsible for the user.

When you get in the cell block. Find the biggest, baddest looking mother fucker. Bring him back somewhere. Get down on your knees and just give the worst blow job possible.

Yu'll get the worst reputation in your Cell block for sure.

>What's the best strategy for surviving prison?
Respect other inmates, stand up for yourself if someones doesn't respect you and don't be a snitch.

I served 4 years in prison for "public incitement to criminal acts" and "dangerous bodily harm".
I spent most of my time playing Durak with some Ex-Soviet people.

Why do we let prisoners interact with each other? It would be better for them in the long run if we put them in permanent isolation so they can't be a bad influence on each other. So they don't go mad with social isolation, put a computer console in each cell and let them browse Sup Forums (the console can't go to degenerate sites, though, so they become brainwashed to not be degenerate.)

Thoughts?

which nick were you at ?, I was in Strangeways in 80s , then after lads got the jail a refurb back in 96 til nawties, not been fitted up since Keked .

Is there less rape in euro prisons? I heard in most places its unheard of and its because we have feral niggers that it happens.

if they put computers with WoW i would be 24/7 there

that's fucked up. i don't remember that one.

i naturally distrust guatamalans based on history, but this seems like good information. thanks user.

you're alright too you crazy treehugger

you're a badass. i wouldn't mess with you if i got nicked. i'd want you on my team against the pakis tho.

seems legit

no guns/ammo are different. at least the buyers know what they're getting.

ur a faggot

this. not sure what those kraut games are, but i'm sure they sucked less than sucking dick.

i don't think you've ever even been arrested. try to keep it that way. you'll do well.

Dartmoor Jail ..God forsaken victorian prison tried that it produced broken Mentally unhinged Killers on release , treat humans as filth they will have a vengeance with a relish kek

not guatemalan. just visiting...so I guess your bias is still in tact. My experience would verify it too. It is a selfish, eat or be eaten society here.

> stupid enough to get caught
You do not deserve survival very much.

Fines, penal colony deportation, or death penalty immediately following conviction should be the only possible sentences for criminal cases.

As someone who studies behavior for a living, it's empirically proven that protracted punishment is no more effective than swift punishment. The point of punishment is to discourage or suppress behavior, and if swift punishments are just as effective as protracted punishments, a large fine (or even something like public lashings) that are shocking and strong but relatively brief would be better than wasting millions of dollars keepong someone alive for decades in prisons.

But we all know that prison doesn't reform most prisoners. So then why have prisons? Say someone legitimately reforms themselves - can you honestly say that, even if they make all the right decisions from the time they are paroled moving forward, that their life will ever truly be as good as it was before they went to prison? No one will hire them except shitty menial labor jobs that don't pay shit, meaning their quality of life will be shit or they'll turn to crime and wind up right back in prison. The stigma of being an ex-con will never go away, they'll be branded a freak for the rest of their life.

So what purpose does prison really serve then? The answer is that it's used to discard human garbage that we don't want living next to respectable folk. So if that's why we're locking people away, why not either a) kill them so that they aren't taking up space and can't harm anyone ever again, or b) if you still want to out in airs of being civilized, ship them off to another corner of the globe and leave them to fend for themselves. Then they won't cost you any money and the chances of them ever coming back to harm you are practically zero

I never heard about a case, it may happen.
Most inmates were Russians and Muslim shitskins and homosexuals aren't welcome.
And it doesn't matter if you are a active rapist or a passive bitch.

it's a great russian card game

Armley, funny enough the paki gang was all mancs
But to balance that out I was in with kingy from Manchester and I swear to god we got a curry delivered in cell 26 from 21 by swinging it! Finished off with grog and a spliff! They were the days .

England deported its criminals, but at what cost? Now we have Australians.

Larpchan

I have Never thought Homo stuff inside jail , even when Top Mates with my Bestest pad mate , who died of lung cancer ..*SAD* this rapey stuff must be a Kike/Media film delusion in foreign jails ?? , sharing a pad/Cell , we got to shit/piss in a bucket in the 1980s and slops out next morning , so our rule was Never shits in slops , unless urgent , if you wanted a Wank /Fapping , you told mate *Quiet time* and he put head phones on cd player .Us English Blokes are Civilized Guys ok

Other advice.
1. DONT run a store (buy and sell goods). It will get you in trouble and collecting on debts will get you killed.
2. Don't get tattooed. It might sound like fun but it will get you marked as a bad-ass wannabe.
3. Find the "Pops" of the cellblock and hang out with him and his crowd. He is paternally untouchable and by extension his friends are good guys to all groups.
4. Dont hang out with any "group" especially racists and gangs.
5. Live out of a box. Be ready to move and never get comfortable. Transfers can be difficult.
6. Get a good job or get into a school. Best jobs are in legal office and education. If you are jobless you will be assigned kitchen or laundry. Hard work, low pay. You will earn about $20-40 per month which you use on their overpriced "store"
7. Write letters to loved ones, don't get addicted to expensive phone calls.
8. Don't dream about conjugal visits. That is Hollywood. Visits are in a large auditorium with guards watching and you will not be allowed any great amount of contact.

They sorted themselves out. Now they've been domesticated to the point where they express their urge to act out through bantz rather than killing or robbing. Australia is a success story in regards to a successful model of criminal corrections as far as I'm concerned.

But the goal isn't to treat them like filth. If I were imprisoned, the prospect of getting to spend years browsing the web would be preferable to the prospect of dealing with the stress of social life among my fellow prisoners.

>best strategy for surviving prison?

well written article. Prison is warehousing, not reforming. People don't have the stomach for killing criminals but they don't really believe in reform. Prisons are the solution. The country can claim to be reforming prisoners while discarding the human garbage and not soiling the people's conscience with unacceptable bloodshed.

yea guess so. that's where ms-13 is from right? fuck them. they all have to go back.

if i'm smart enough to be sitting here drinking wiskey and being OP on a thread you're replying to, i deserve survival at least as much as you. you have no idea the shit i've survived faggot.

>penal colony deportation, or death penalty
for criminal offenses, sure, but not for civil actions or common law cases. don't know who i'm quoting but it's been said and i agree with, "for every wrong there is a remedy." and "the remedy should match the crime." SO, if someone shorthands someone else in business, they shouldn't be hung or sent to a penal colony, especially if they can reimburse whoever they owe. maybe they should have to pay some extra money to that party or to the court for their trouble, but jail/penal colony is overkill. death is right out of the question. what about a guy who punches another guy in a bar fight? does he deserve to die for that? what kind of justice are you espousing? like i said, the punishment must be equal to the crime. on the other hand, if you torture someone, you should get tortured. call me a jew (and i'm not) but an eye for an eye motherfuckers. just be fair about it.

gotcha

kys

the best advice in this category would be from eurofags. have you prepared for hakim to bust a nut in ur ass?

Leeeeds lad ....I played chess with the head carpet Groper , he burnt his daughter to death ,Honour killing for fucking a Nigger , Fair dues he was a good player . Kingy doesnt ring a bell , was he was from that lil mob at Salford cannot think what called now was tv show about the dermott somebody talked with them , Plastic Gangsters but thats Madchester then I Met many so Called Hard Gangsters in Manc nick . Kek

Good advice bro .

not hating, but i'm gonna go ahead and list off the britfag words you just used that burgers understood:
Armley
mancs (i assume ppl from Manchester?)
kingy
grog

*that no burgers understood

A friend of mine from the Army just got out of prison after spending 5 years for an armed robbery.

He and this ghetto black dude he knew from his neighborhood tried to rob a strip club at like 4 in the morning as they were closing, and they got away with it for quite a while until the other dude started bragging about it and flashing his money around. He got caught, flipped, and they both went to prison.

My buddy said that when he went into prison all he did was speak Spanish and no one gave a fuck. He's white, but passed himself as Hispanic, so no one gave a shit. He was in Angola in Louisiana, and if you are for a seriously long stretch you would need to pay protection money to one of the white gangs/or join one.

Nowhere I would want to go.

In the UK its $3,50 a day for a prisoners food ..? you think they will give net access KEK

Exactly ..Well said !

I was thrown in a drunk tank in Calgary New Year's Eve and this injun turns to another injun and says "kiss me mother" injun says I ain't ya mother, big injun says "KISS ME" and the little injun kisses him but not to his liking and tells him he wants the mouth open! Little injun was a good boy that night.
Till a guy came in and layed down on the floor, big injun goes over and lays down as a big spoon, fumbles around with other guys pants, pulls his down the yanks the sleeping mans pants down and tries ramming it up there. Guy woke up, murmured something and went straight back to sleep!

crazy. i speak a little spanish, but i'd never even consider an armed robbery or any violent crime so i'm not too concerned. also, thank you for your service, however shitty your bosses might be. MAGA!!

hmmm I thought MS13 was Mexican. Wouldn't be surprised though. Guatemala has real gang problems. Just other day heard that the bakery in front of my house (a tiny hole in the wall place) was threatened by some gang for "security" payments. That is common. Even water delivery truck drivers are threatened with death if they don't make some sort of payment. Many bus drivers and deliverymen were killed because they couldn't come up with the cash. They now carry armed guards. It is a war zone here...but hey let's open the border because only good people will come in, right?

If I have to go to prison I hope it will be in Canada, then I would identify as a woman, so they would have to put me in a women's prison, where I would be pretty popular due to my excellent dong

I got charged with a felony, shit posting IRL. Never get drunk and call people or institutions who have fucked you over. I was in a bad place, lived with an alcoholic girlfriend, my truck broke down lost my job and was at my wits end. I started thinking about it an it made me angry. I was away from my family and friends. I had no support from the people that should've mattered to me the most. I was in county for 3 days my mom bonded me out and my dad put to work in a sawmill. I'm currently paying off a lawyer and my bondsman and getting my life back on track. Allot of times I wish I never had to go to jail, but I think it was a lesson I needed to learn. I would've just ended up killing my self if I had stayed. Hopefully I dot go to prison, I've never been in trouble before.

Armley is a Victorian prison in Leeds
Mancs is indeed some from Manchester
Kingy is a name, my bad.
Grog is cell made hooch

get out of my thread faggot

oh i was wrong, looks like most of them are from el salvador or california now. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MS-13#History

do you guys call a new guy a fish? Or is that just argot of the States?

ITT: Men who received violent anal sex behind bars from the one, the only, Purple Aki.

I've not heard it , just ins or newbies.

I was betrayed by a Young guy, I was learning the trade , I was a Non Crim walter white type guy , had a fab life/senpai and great job ...I talked to ex hooligan mates, they told me MDMAs/Es in the late 1980s is the new drink ? I allegedly imported a million tabs ! sold at £5 a pill , Had a good mate Kev he was hungry (like jesse) I NEVER TOUCHED DRUGGES .. I was so removed those doing it .. I could of won trial at Crown Court but Kev squealed .. ten years ..served 4 half .. I believe Kev died in house fire .

Prison wasn't too bad. The only weird thing was my cellmates rule about farting.

"Yo, you fart, you fart on the toilet, then flush."

We would form a gang quickly and take out the immediate threat.no doubt that cunt should be dead.

Lad people have tried taking him down.

Three blokes went at him with baseball bats, he took the hits like a champ and battered them.
He's also knocked out a few screws when they raided his cell and he had to be tasered.

I've never been to prison, but through my work I see many people who have been, in prisons all over the world.

they're all different.

Scandinavian prisons seem pretty chill. as you'd expect really. food, shit to do, reasonable sentences based on rehab rather than punishment.

the USA is based on being as shitty to prisoners as possible. stupid rules, and silly length sentences. and pretty violent. it's a business, if a family member wants to send something in, it has to go through a prison approved shop. lol

Europe varies. Greece, italy and Spain are basic as fuck. healthcare and food at the minimum possible levels, but you can get conjugal visits in Spain. just don't get sick in any of them and expect good treatment.

Japan's are more like army prison. you're forced to sit and stare at walls all day in one spot. not allowed to lie down at the wrong time, nor talk to others around you .

Thailand etc are shitholes where if you don't have cash you're left to rot eating half a bowl of rice a day.


how you survive in any of them is just keep to yourself and try to keep in contact with people outside.

I would fuck off.... unless you want doxxing an your ass busting like a bloody mess ..show Respect dude ok .

WEll why as he still got eyeballs
I could be dead but my fingers would already be in his eyeballs, just fall back

>bro hug/back pat
keep working. be honest. you'll find a better woman and a better truck, shit maybe even a badass dog. stay low key and shit you might just find a better job.

makes sense. i keked @grog

that could have been a lot worse

THESE FUCKING CAPTCHAS ARE FUCKING PISSING ME OFF! FUCK YOU GOOGLE!!!!!!!!

Your pants would be down your ankles and your pink twins parted before you could even try.

Either stop phoneposting or switch to legacy captcha

i'm on my laptop. how do i switch to legacy captcha?

Nope, motherfucker would be cyclopsed

>134569381
I could sort your CUNTry ./. Just a STRONG ENGLISH BLOKE IN THERE .. shoot to kill gangsters , no compos/ sad faces from relies ! I would Rule your Nation an turn about in 3 months ..lol

Oh yeah I'll keep doing right, the work isn't too bad either and actually pays pretty damn good I get about 550-600 a week so now I'm just saving. I really packed on the muscle working here so even if I do go I won't go in the skinny fucker I was before. Thanks user for the kind words

Respect dude ..

He shags bodybuilders on the reg. I'm sure you wont be much of a challenge. He'd have you pressed against the wall screaming bloody murder I bet.

That's your fantasy chief
I say chase your dreams

Prison was easy, I just minded my own business, worked out, read, wrote, and drew. Only 2 fights in prison and 3 in county jail in a year, all minor and due to territorialism and egos.

that means fucked in the eye socket doesn't it?

>ftfy
you are a nigger. go back to plebbit or jamaica faggot. i have more guns and ammo than you you don't want this.

IP changed but the story stands chief.

No lel, ffs .it means I would try and dig at least one of his eyes out , seriously this man has been terrorising northern fucking Britain with his antics.
Better off dead or at least blinded.

any time. you seem cool.

that's 5 fights. did you get hurt? did you kick some ass? most importantly, who started it?

i can't keep track of all this shit. link to your last post if you want more (you)s

badass

You just know you'd be his bottom bitch.
The most aggressive acting are always the weakest. lmao

Pups .. an even after 12 months kek
guys where taken in slowly as I got FUCKED ! he got burnt up badly .....toooo crispy bones he fucked me , Hooli mates said I NEED TO BE RUTHLESS in Nick .his wife was/then ended up a habit, and whore ,the daughter went in Care ..! That stops any Threat .. although next jail term I was jumped by apes stabbed /knicked my back 37 stitches showers , had to show Niggers in Manc Northwest I dont SUPPLY ANYMORE ! .. lol at the time , they kept Monkey /Drug Niggers Gang shooting each other and then tit for tat .. < dont ever Threaten me in Nick .. them scars are prison stuff ..ok kek

Here prisons are very soft right now. The growing ammount of niggers and sandniggers might make it more harsh though.

A friend of mine (professional boxer, medium weight) ended up in jail for armed robbery. Sadly, a nigger made him his wife for 3 months. Weird thing is he entered weighting 160 pounds and went out weighting 200.. he just worked out while being someone's wife.

I'm not being aggressive just relating my experiences for shitsngigs

>Argentina
Too many f*ench immigrants my dear former colony.

legit OG detected. don't fuck with him.

don't worry, i'll never go to your country

i'm not calling you aggressive. rule britania or something. keep the mudslimes out of europe. scare them off!

I broke one molar, a pair of glasses, a knuckle and two fingers, lost my left big toe nail. I won the county fights, started just one of all five with a roommate over them looking through my letters, the prison fights ended too fast due to guards to be decisive but I was just caught up in them due to proximity

they have pepper spray canisters on the ceilings of the mess haul btw, fml

>Purple Aki
I'm so confused

Wilco, roger out old boy.

I have done eyeballs an ate them in a mob doo ..I had this nasty new Cunt an he told me cos I ruined manc drugge trade , an he told STOP IT .. an I said OK .. (DO DRUGGES ! ! I AM JAILED but DONT UPSET ME OK ! ) .. who was after week it was Borrinnnnnng , I am in hospital after being sliced /open up .. ..

He is that dark it goes into ultra-violet

>What's the best strategy for surviving prison

That would be an easy murder suicide by police for a beautiful white man such as myself. I will never be put in prison with the animals in this country.

I have been in jail for the weekend but while its very shit its not life threatening.

This.

I did 6 months in Norway. Was fantastic desu, would do it again.

Quick one when niggers killing each Gang .. someone told NF guys Nigger shooting county ..
Niggers out on estates an waving gang stuff, shot dead /.. Brilliant ..Kek.... UK news so worried most apes were deaded ..Kek ...cos someone gave hunting season season/blacks kill blacks ..lol WINRAR !!

I haven't been to prison but I've been to pretty bad jails.
If you just mind your own business and arent a gullible idiot (street smart i guess) youre fine.
But if theres fights you have to fight theres no getting around it. you just have to do it.
majority of the population cant fight worth a shit and most people are inherent pussies with more to lose than gain so its usually fine.
it's the people who have literally nothing to lose that are dangerous cause theyll stick you

Tell the wards as soon as you're in danger. They'll relocate you to a special facility. If *you* are the one that's dangerous they'll relocate you to one of several identical facilities so you don't know where in the country you are.

you arent going to be in danger if youre unaffiliated and dont have debts.
pc should be a last resort. once youre in you cant come back out. and 24 hour lock down for more than a few months would drive you insane.