If you had a time machine what would you do ?

...

help hitler
win the lottery
fix my autistic moments and get qt gf

Don't let my parents die :(

this pretty much sums it up.

I might go to the late 1930s and circulate current year footage taken from each allied country and tell them that they won the impending war.

Go to the day Marx and Engels started the manifesto, kill both of them, then firebomb the building to destory everything. Then, leftist safari around Europe, hoping to bag me a Bakunin.

kill my parents so im never born

Buy lehman brothers stocka

Fap into primordial soup.

kill Mohammet, yes THE Mohammet.

Ohhhhhhhhh cooooooomelyyyyyyyyy i wiiiiiillll be withhhhh you when you lose your braiiiiiiins

Time vacations

>See black roman britain with your eyes
>See Amelia Bassano write Shakspeare first hand
>Observe as the turkish hordes walk trough europe with their cannons of peace
>The horrible and distorted christian society in the middle east for being the only one progress to the land

fpbp

Prevent black slaves from coming to the United States.

Then we wouldn't have a perpetually angry black minority.

id finger anne frank

Prevent myself from killing your parents :^[

Goto 1940: nuke London also nuke Jew York
Goto 1941: nuke Moscow

Even better, hunt and kill all arabs and niggers back when there were only a few doezen of them.

why did you do it though?

>go back to the first puddle where goo turned into life
>piss and shit directly into it
>dive in cannonball style to ensure it mixes turbunently as i disappear from existance due to the alteration of timeline

Make sure the United States completely annexes Mexico like it was originally going to do at the end of the Mexican-American War.

>not realizing that at most you'd delay the inevitable
you might as well just do something you'd enjoy

He said time machine, not alternate universe machine

probably just steal heaps of shit i didnt need, for the lulz.

Fuck Anne Frank.

Go to concentration camps and film the inside while they're running. And of course sire hundreds of children of every race so that by my time the white population might have a fighting chance

You mean BBC was lying?

Are you implying we wusnt romans n shiiit?
Das raciss.

Kill moot

Go back in time, steal a fuckload of money, go into the future to find out the outcome of Mayweather v McGregor, then come back and make bets.

>go back in time with a profound disguise that tricks women into thinking your a deity and that they need to have sex with you to birth the messiah
>cuck the whole world
truly enlightened

Great idea

IIIIIII LOOOOOOOOOVE YOOOOOOOOOU JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJEEEEEEESUS CHRIAIAIAIAST

Rape and murder Anne Frank, and then cum on her mother's face.

KEK

you would probably be born with different ones

Give a pen to that poor girl

I'd go way WAY WAAAAAAY back and shoot the first jew.

All world problems solved.

>go back to 1630s Europe
>30 years war in full heat
>prevent Gustav II Adolf's death

Punch Mark Zuckerbergs dad in the balls.

I see what you did there

Go back and invent all the cool things and ideas from the future and become a rich genius lawl

Accuse Mayer Amschel Rothschild of witchcraft and heresy, then call the inquisitor and the mob

sink the Amistad.

...

and all other slave ships returning from Africa.

fuck the shit out of her

I would destroy it because I understand the potential consequences of fucking with that sort of thing. Nothing good would come from it. Time travel isn't going to be possible anyways. The mere action of traveling backwards in time would create an extra event, which could possibly create a disruption that prevents you or the creator of the time machine from ever being born. This opens a whole new can of shit. And would the action of traveling back in time not be infinitely repeated once that time rolls around again? How would you stop infinite copies of yourself from showing up wherever you teleported to? Time travel itself creates more problems than it could ever solve. I'm an /sci/ fag so obviously I'm looking at this from a scientific standpoint, not that of a science fiction movie.

TLDR time is weird don't fuck with it

This. And also Herzl and other founders of Zionism.

>worrying about the world getting messed up when you live in 2017
>not just doing something crazy and fun for shits and giggles

OY VEY, anti-semite, mysogenistic and racist, can´t you see niggers can´t swim?

Go back in time to the primordial soup. Take a shit inside. Go forward.
Humans are now Poomans .I transform into one because laws of the universe. Live a very pooish life.

>I transform into one because laws of the universe. Live a very pooish life
Nice try Bulgaria

>travel back in time to 1900
>this action happens again and again every 117 years
>this is in the future, except time is bent in such a way that you're going back to 1900
>you see the results then instantly
>there are an infinite amount of (You) floating around in space
Yeah, sounds like fun.

Why must you follow me? I should've never made that post.

Assassinate Lenin.
Help Hitler.
Help Africa.
Help Arabs.
Come back to my Shitland as a God-Hero.
Rule alongside all other race lords, me being Mixed Race God.
Work together to expand Science.
Conquer the Universe as the Empire of Mankind.

No seriously how come I keep bumping into you?
Same user from that thread btw

>infinite amount of (you)s
>get them all synced in meditation
>transcend into one godlike being

You'd all just die in the vacuum of space. This is why it's a good thing that we don't have time machines.

>scan thread
>disappoint

>Same user from that thread btw
I haven't posted that screencap more than once since I took it months ago..it must have caught on somewhat

I'd find that damn Anne Frank. Why didn't they just fucking check the attic?

Now we have Jews everywhere! FUCK

...

Save Anne Frank and have my own post-war baby boom with her.

Hold up I'll post it.

Hope so. Hope you're not stalking me or anything.

i would sink titanic before it ever left the port

Something something I am genuinely in love with Anne Frank something

>Hope you're not stalking me or anything.
OK now I am

Have Esther killed before Xerxes finds her and she convinces him not to kill all the jews.

I am genuinely in love with Anne Frank. She was a beautiful, witty, and graceful young woman whose light was snuffed out far too early.

I frequently fantasize about being Peter van Pels hiding with her.

Oh god, just imagine deflowering that sweet girl on a lazy Amsterdam afternoon, lying and learn what each other's bodies were for.

Now imagine nine months later, she's got a massive bulging stomach from carrying your child inside of her and it seems like she’s gonna pop any moment now. Her popped belly button makes it look like she's got a giant third boob where her stomach once was. She waddles around and can barely move half of the time. She's developed an insatiable craving for your dick and you've likewise developed a taste for her pussy. You’re both cooped up in an attic all day have nothing better to do besides fuck like an unsustainable third world population. You lie down on your back, she strips off her almost comically too small clothes and kneels on top of you. She grabs a hold of your rock hard cock, inserts it deep inside of her, and begins to ride you like a stallion. You feel the pressure from her incredible weight and huge round belly bearing down on you but the indescribable pleasure of her tight pussy throbbing on you cock negates any discomfort. You sink into her beautiful soul, into that secret place where no one dares to go. After 30 minutes, you and her are both moaning with ever greater intensity, you know it won't be long now. Suddenly, you feel your cock shaking like a V-2 rocket and the orgasm reaches it's climax as your cum literally explodes like an 88mm AT round inside her Sherman tank, blowing the turret right off. You and her both join as one, souls screaming from the sheer ecstasy. As the elation wears off, she lies next to you. Too exhausted to do anything else, you simply hold her in your embrace. In that moment, there is no family squabbles, no Nazis, no war. Just you and her, watching the sky turn pink with the setting sun.

first off, SAGE

if i had a time machine, i am gonna side with the Spaniards and then encourage them to BLEACH or outright genocide most of the native population.
Finally convince the Spanish monarchs to make the Philippines into an autonomous region with a militant Christian attitude

I'd kill Edison. I'd kill Rockefeller and I'd kill Churchill if he was a viable threat in that timeline after those two died.

>infinite number of (you)'s reach moksha in a state of Christconsciousness at death
>be reborn into a godlike super human through the massive spiritual energy

So... what're you up to tonight?

You dream of the beautiful face you have found in this place. So soft and sweet.

One day you will both die and your ashes will fly from an aeroplane over the sea.
But for now you are young and all you want is lay in the sun, and count every beautiful thing you can see. Love to be in the arms of all you’re keeping here with you.

What a beautiful dream that could flash on the screen in a blink of an eye

pretty much hit it on the head. (also buy prestock in microsoft and apple.)

Suddenly, you awaken from your slumber to the sound of a bloodcurdling scream. You open your eyes to darkness, it takes a split second for your vision to readjust. You feel lonely and cold. Another shriek knocks you back into reality. Anne sitting next to you, clutching her belly, face contorted from pain. A foul smelling fluid lies pooled on the floor around her mid-section. Your hot dirty fuckfest has brought on labor. she cries your name, begging for help, begging for you. The noise. She’s louder than a line of Louisiana Tigers giving the Rebel Yell right now. You raise your finger to your lips to tell her to be quiet. But the agony is too much for her to bear. You’ve got to do something or else it will awaken the entire neighborhood and with it, the Nazis. Suddenly you remember the bulge in your pants. You’ve got morning wood. It’s not the best gag, but it will have to do. You stand up, squat like a slav, using her belly as an impromptu stool, grab your still cum-crusted cock, and shove it right inside her mouth. At first, she tries to scream even louder in surprise, but your circumcised 100% Kosher dong blocks her windpipe, reducing her screams to a barely audible gurgle. Suffering from unbearable pain, she bites down on her your meat with each contraction. Now you’e in pain too. With each contraction, she bites down harder, it feels like she’s gonna tear your cock right off. Eventually, the pain subsides for her and she doesn’t bite down as much. Now it seems almost as if she’s starting to enjoy it. You can feel your child kick on your testicles. Clearly it’s excited too. Suddenly, your cock starts to shake like a V-2 again, you pull it out of her mouth just in time. You bust your steaming hot and sticky load, blanketing her like an incendiary carpetbombing of Dresden. Semen stains her mountaintops (all three of them), along with her hair and most of her face. She quietly giggles from the ironic amusement of it all. You giggle too

Bomb the secret meeting that gave rise to the Federal Reserve Bank.

go to bed, jeff

Then a look of sharp pain shoot across her face. She’s having your baby. You wish you could bear all the pain for her, but all you can do is sit and watch. You look down at her vulva, still oozing with cum from that great fucking you gave her a few hours ago. You can see a head of black hair poking out. You fear that she’s gonna start screaming again, much to your relief, it seems that she’s gotten better control of the pain, thanks to you. She begins to softly moan, it seems as if instead of experiencing excruciating agony, she’s experiencing an orgasm. You can’t help but grin as she keeps pushing. As more of the head becomes visible, her moaning intensifies. Finally a small head emerges from her vagina. You can see a face wrapped in an umbilical cord. A small pair of hands grab the head, she weakly tries to pull the head out. You put your hands around the head and begin to help her pull. Desperately, she goes into the next contraction with all of her energy, and pushed with everything inside of her. She feels everything. She feels shoulders and hips and feet all slide down inside of her and pop out in one long push, with a rush of fluid behind it, and it feels amazing. She throws her head back with a rip-roaring orgasm that penetrates the very heart of her soul.

You look at the newborn now lying on the floor and see that it is a boy. You have a son. Perfect, perfect in every way. He begins to stir and you realize he’s about to cry. After all that’s happened, you don’t to given away to the Germans from the wails of a newborn. You gently lift him up and place him on Anne’s semen stained mountaintops. The baby quickly finds the breast is soon sucking happily. Semen, blood, amniotic fluid, breastmilk all mix and fill the air with a strange scent that while repulsive, is also extremely arousing. You can’t resist the urge anymore. Your mouth land on top of Anne’s opposite breast, sucking first your own cum, but then her tasty milk. You look into her eyes, she’s somewhat annoyed, but too exhaust to really care. A gust of wind coming from a hole in the wall blows through, cooling both of your sweat-drenched bodies, but also disturbing the little one. You’re afraid he’ll start shivering. You look around the dusty attic for something to keep the baby warm. You settle on Anne’s fur winter jacket, having sat unused for the past two years. You know Anne will definitely not be happy that you ruined her favorite coat, but it’s for the best. She hasn’t been able to fit in it for the past nine months anyway. You carefully wrap your little one in the coat and hand him to an exhausted Anne, she continues to quietly feed him. You notice the dead silence for the first time, not even the other occupants of the Annex, mere feet away in the next room, were roused. You feel a sense of relief. You’re safe, for the moment at least. Eventually you curl up next to her quietly and begin to doze off. Your secret sleeps in winter clothes. Tomorrow, you can find a way to explain the night’s events to your parents and hope they don’t kill each other. You can somehow find a way to get your little bundle of joy to safety. But tonight, you just rest, your first night as a family.

this may be a bigger deal than we think if we dont act to keep kuckeberg from becoming something.

Oh god, just thinking about this is making me rock hard. The hardest I’ve ever gotten. Oh, I think I’m gonna… I’m gonna-

*Cums in Diary*

It's 2PM right now, why the fuck would I be in bed?

also
>months ago
It was literally a year ago I know you were there

Kill this bitch and wipe my ass with muh diary

go on project high jump and find out what really is down or over there in antartica we cant find out about.

>not fucking Esther and putting a bastard in her belly

What's wrong with you?

Rescue Anne Frank and have 6 million jewish kids with her

Seriously. This is the time where your average American Sup Forumsack wakes up, stuffs his face with red bull and chicken tendies to prepare for the next 48 hours of shitposting.

set random houses on fire to encourage cooperation in the pursuit of hidden sandniggers

>I know you were there
Yeah I was in the thread, I took the screencap
>It was literally a year ago
Oh how time flys

...

Only correct answer^^^

Keep Anne constantly pregnant until her womb is all dried up and her vagina looks like the Eastern Front from giving birth so many times

This, but in Brazil, also fuck it, stop from bringing them anywhere near the american continent. And genocide the native jndians or send them all back to Asia.

Time travel fascinates the fuck out of me but as this user said time travel is not to be fucked with and the unintended consequences are enormous.
Keep in mind the butterfly effect. If simply killing 1 person can vastly alter the future, imagine killing or saving an empire.

Sup Forums is thinking small time but if I were to go back I would try to save the Byzantine Empire from being conquered. Imagine how different history would have played out if it never fell. I would love someone to do an alternate history video of what would have happened if it survived.

Either that or I would assassinate all the intellectuals involved with the frankfurt school

check'd

>Pick my own cotton
Or
>Stop myself from being born
It's a tie.

Nothing.
Time travel makes you gay