>These sassy, sophisticated, solvent women say they are struggling to find other halves that can measure up
>They are in great physical shape, living full and interesting lives. Yet finding suitable men for them to date seems to be a heroic challenge.
>This has left me wondering why a generation of single, sexy, solvent women just can’t find love. What immediately strikes female mid‑life daters — of whom I am one — returning to the dating scene in later life after a marriage or long-term relationship, is the lack of single men.
>According to Jo Hemmings, a behavioural psychologist and dating coach, there are an estimated seven new women for every man on the dating scene in the 40-55 age group, so availability is clearly a big issue.
>‘I’ve had clients coming to me wondering: “Am I asking too much to find an attractive, independent, solvent guy of my age?” ’ she says.
>As she explains, part of the issue is that when divorce strikes, men and women react in different ways.
>Men’s relationships frequently overlap; they won’t leave one partner until they find another, so they are never really single.
>By contrast, women take longer to recover from a break-up. They often step out of the dating ring completely, sometimes for many years, to rebuild their lives or to focus on bringing up children.
>‘When they return to dating, it’s really hard for them,’ says Jo. ‘There aren’t as many men because they have a wider pool. Men realise quite quickly that there are far fewer of them than there are women of a similar age. They then date much younger women, creating a huge void in the market.
>‘Traditionally women go for men who are their age or slightly older, so they are left wondering where all the men have gone.’
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