FEMTORPG: Friendship is Feminist Conspiracy Sponsored by the Nasal Enhanced Edition

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Other urls found in this thread:

pastebin.com/fwpekR9m
pastebin.com/x31wLvx1
pastebin.com/X5d7fpKs
youtube.com/watch?v=gjc75gzztdw
youtube.com/watch?v=3yL9w5_thAU
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

It's a sunny afternoon in Sherbert Equinities University. Today the student body is hosting a multicultural festival inviting equines of all races and cultures to come visit the the college and enrich the campus.

You and some other deplorables sit in the deans office taking a very stirgent lecture on your position on campus "Yes I'm afraid this is a notice of your expulsion my little ponies." Dean Sherbert declared as he looked behind the shutters on his window screen "This college is a home to our students here and I can't have you disrupted their safety with your 'intellectual spaces' " quote on quote "Noo! I've withstood the shame of it for far too long. Just what do you think the university is funded for! Certainly not for delinquents that like to the rock the boat"

At this moment you notice the sound of rumbling in the room and muffled crying, The Dean continue "For Celestia's sake I have on record neither of you have even submitted your pronouns yet. Just how do your professors address you? Do have anything to say for yourselves!?" The rocking noise and muffled voice doesn't seem to quit.

pastebin.com/fwpekR9m

"Chrysalis did nothing wrong."

Trip says, leaning back in his chair and throwing darts at a poster behind the Dean, managing only to hit the minorities on the class picture of Sherbert's graduation.

"I don't identify as someone who submits pronouns, so checkmate. Game's already won, you've just been playing checkers."

"This chair is bumpy, y'know?"

Trip says, sitting uncomfortably.

pastebin.com/x31wLvx1

The dean grabs the darts out of the picture frames "Please stop that you're ruining my things" His voice waned with cuckoldry as he hands you back your throwing darts.

"So You don't identify as someone who submits pronouns!" The dean says with incredulity "Do I call you it! I'll be damned if I have to objecrtify one of my students" you notice a pool of blood streaming out from the office dresser cabinet The dean doesn't seem to give this any attention at all. It's also rocking side to side an awful lot.

"ayy nice dubs dood."

Trip says, before standing up,

"You don't call me anything you degenerate, go back to Saddle Arabia kike.

Trip pulls out his laptop, checking something.
>Fourth Eye: spell; can see beyond walls, barriers, illusions, lies and the fourth wall. Can make one roll to tap into meta information and listen in on out of character discussion.
[1d10]

"Warum schreit er und berührt uns? Ist das die College-Vergewaltigung, von der ich gehört habe?"

You find a liveleak video of the a changeling beating the shit out of your dean, caking him up in makeup, stripping him and mutilated his body with a pizza cutter. Near the end ot the video the changeling assumes Dean Sherbert's identity while tieing him up and locking him in the dresser cabinet. The crying from the dresser cabinet grows stronger.

The alleged Dean Sherbert flies at you toss your laptop into the corner of the room. It click on another video that livestreams Dean Sherbert flailing his fists at you while balling his eyes out "YOU JUST HAVE NO LOVE!! DIE FASCIST! DIE!"
[1d10] the dean punches you mid tantrum

"And you need to stop making angry gurgling noises at students!" screamed the dean. The blood pooling from the dresser cabinet is covering the entire office floor. This is just getting ridiculous.

"ayy fucking lmao brah, don't even have the hivemind anymore. Now watch this shit."

Trip runs to the laptop and opens up pastebin, scrolling down Xenthori's posts.

"Eenie meenie minnie moe, pick a pony by it's toe..."

>Talent: Identity Theft (Once per session; Automatic: Reaching out into the vast reaches of Pastebin, Trip Code grabs a character sheet, reads it over, and transforms into them, becoming that character. Trip can change between the two as an automatic action after the first successful transformation, but cannot become another character until another session. Identity Theft is done by rolling a 1dX, where X is the current number of sheets in Xenthori's Pastebin, the outcome being the character he turns into. Hits/Wounds sustained carries over, yada yada yada.)
[1d121] jesus fuck that's a lot of sheets

Trip pulls up a sheet at random
pastebin.com/X5d7fpKs

"For fucks sake, the christmas pony. Time to fucking deck your halls, m8."

"Sie beleidigen meine Sprache ignorant Schweine? Du wirst für diese Ungerechtigkeit bezahlen!"

Pulling out a very very small dagger Joseph falls from above onto the dean imposter

>Rupture [1d10]

The limp wrists of the liberal changeling dean fail to do you any damage. They slap courageously and flaccid against your cheeks as you transform into a christmas themed pony in april.

You slit open the Dean's juggular killing him. Like the psychopath you are. fortunately in this powerfantasy your psycopathy is conveniently justified. "This -ack.. is what I get for applying my liberal arts degree?" Are his last words before he bleeds how and his disguise fades out revealing he's a changling.

At the same time the dresser cabinet in the room pops open with the real Dean Sherbert tied up and duck taped over his nozzle. He's dressed in drag, caked in makeup, visibly bruised and bleeding from the groin.

"Dean Sherbert! Ich wusste nicht, dass du die Demütigung genossen hast"

Joseph cuts the ties of the dean with the very very small dagger very very ineffectively and slowly.

"Ho Ho Ho, ho."

Gift Wrap/Trip Code says in the feminine voice of the earth pony, taking a candy cane blade from seemingly no where,

"Psssh, nothing personal, kid."

>Hot Irons: weapon; Cleave X targets with a critfail range of X-1.
[1d10+1] DC-1 due to single weapon

her tail twitches,

"Oh yeah, this character has a free action every once and a while. Take my sexual healing, real Dean."
>Mechanical Limb: Instant, Recharge 2. You may attempt to perform any relatively simple task even if your hands are occupied with fighting. Rolling a failure on this extra task, so long as it’s not an attack or skill, does not incur counterattacks. The rig is not designed for combat, but can still be used for that in an emergency. However rolling an offensive action using the Mechanical Limb has a crit fail range of 3-.

>Heal: recharge 1, spell, ranged; restores target’s hits to full and restores one wound, or removes all status effects. Crit restores 2 wounds, crit fail deals a wound of damage to the target.
Healing Dean
[1d10+1]

He coughs up glitter and blood "Ack.. That you wurstpony.

You resow his wang a heal his bruising, the bad news is you had to touch his wang. "And thank you bootleg santa claus but I'm afraid whether I die or live I am already dead."

"I didn't listen.. I always knew, I but didn't! -hnrk I knew The crystal princess's wedding was a false flag, I knew the mane 6 are a wiccan feminist think tank, Friendship.. It's all a conspiracy to keep an ample supply of beta orbiters for mares during estrus. If I only said something it wouldn't have come to this.. I can feel the gender fluid coursing through me. Soon.. It will be too late. You have to stop this. IT HAS TO STOP!" The dean's becoming hysterical. "Soon Beponce will be getting on stage in the auditorium. You have stop her from singing. Before she activates the Harmyiscegination sequence. Then we'll all become subverted." Shortly after the Dean passed out in a puddle of his fluids. It's pretty gross.

Areas in the college
Library, study hall, Main hall which has clubs and classrooms, second story of main hall is administration and Dean's office, Dormitories (co-ed), main campus, cafeteria and Auditorium and whatever else might exist in a college. In all areas of the college the multiculture festival is going on, celebrating all races but mostly those gay rainbow colored changlings that supposedly turned good in season 6 (I think it was season 6)

"Fucking could have-"

Gift Wrap begins to say, before changing back...

"Das ist schockierend! Ich denke, wir sollten uns aufteilen und nach Hinweisen suchen, ich gehe in die Bibliothek, wo die Stuten mit den breiten Hüften studieren, und du kontrollierst die Cafeteria, wo die Wechsler protestieren! OK?"

"Ahh that's better. As I was saying: Could have asked me any time. This was already happening. You could have prevented it."

Trip laughs,

"Integration, hah. This is why I went innawoods for a few years after breaking the hivemind. I knew what they were planning. Though, I'd love to fuck their shit up."

"Yo Breezie, ich bin ein berliner or whatever. Wanna go punch some skulls in for the sake of the right timeline?"

Not understanding Trip, Joseph tips a german to english dictionary off one of the dean's bookshelves and flips the pages around as he speaks.

"Lets. Find. Clues. Women. Fast, ja?"

"Let's find women, got it."

Trip says, cracking his knuckles,

"I don't have knuckles."

He turns on his beaten up laptop to read about Beponce.

>Fourth Eye: spell; can see beyond walls, barriers, illusions, lies and the fourth wall. Can make one roll to tap into meta information and listen in on out of character discussion.
[1d10]

should link to here

You're addressing yourself?

The dean's office door is flung wide open as some mangy looking Saddle arabians screech "AALLALALALLALALLA!" their tongues yodeling will blood lust. They are about to swing their scimitars about the room in ceremonial welcoming but then they see the scene before. A brutalized transvestite and slayed changeling lieing among two nazies. They stroke their beards pondering the matter "Hay!" The mudslime shouts "Dees ponies they are liek us.." He holds out a hoof confounded. A younger member of the group sympathizes "Maybe we are not so different after all."

The Saddle Arabian throws an arm around Trip Code and the rest of the group chaprone you through the building. The halls are littered with trash and blood. Every couple of yards you find a trash bin light a flame with some zebras and godforsaken races huddling around it. The building was not like this an hour ago "Tell me allah ackbrah, How are you culturally enriching canterlot this fine evening."

goddamnit

You fail to find any women, instead you make your acquaintance with some brotherly jihadies

Trip cackles, loving the chaos on both left and right,

"Haha I too fuck goats. Wait shit, they're sentient, that joke doesn't even work."

Trip picks his nose,

"But totally jihadding it up, y'know. We want to go after that pop icon next, the real pony-y one. Fuck what's her name... Beponce, that's it. She's bullshit y'know, how can there be equality when they're infidels, right?"

"Was der hässliche arme sagte"

WE NEED YOUR VOTE.

O

gotcha senpai

"But does your goat go to preschool? You see not all saddle arabians are like us some don't have enough class to fuck children enrolled in gradeschool. These Arabians deserve the retribution of Allah. That's why we are the number 1 frat house in the university." The Arabian waves a hoof to gesture at your surroundings. You guess this is a frat house now.

>Beponce, that's it. She's bullshit y'know, how can there be equality when they're infidels, right?"
"Beyonce" The Saddle Arabian furrows his brow and hacks a loogey at the mention. The troupe of Saddle Arabians following behind you also hack a loogey in tandem. "let it be done."

So it was settled you and a small army of jihadies walked out of the repossessed Building and marched along to the auditorium. In your wake was trash, discarded rainbow flags, and the bodies of many tolerant ponies. Huddled around the auditorium was a crowd of ponies that made it impossible to enter. A blue haired dyke fit in piercing comes wailing over infront of you guys "OHMYCELESTIA What you doing with those shitlords!" She points to you two.

"Move aside discarded meat, we are here to kill the infidel."
She blows up in tears and hugs jihadibro "NOO! They didn't, the nazis brainwashed you. shh shh shhh just tell me, tell me what you want."
"We want to kill the infedil"
"Shh tell me what you want"
"Your country will be fire, your fathers will lie dead before allah. And you will be muslim and your children will be muslim!"
"Shh its okay okay, I still love you"

Jihadibro looks over to you both perplexed "See what I'm talking about. They do not understand us."

"It's okay, they understand this."

Trip Code says, throwing a dart at her face.

>awkeye: instant; see far into the distance, find small details in a scene, see in dim light or nighttime, or examine an enemy to gain a +1 bonus against it for your attack this turn
[1d10]

Trickshot ranged attack, extra +1 if Hawkeye works
>Knockout: On hit, the enemy is unable to counterattack next turn, and is considered helpless, but does not lose a wound. He instantly and automatically gets up on the turn after that.
[1d10]

"Anyways you get the idea, they die when you kill them, atleast."

"Ich hoffe nur, dass sie nicht zu schlecht verstümmelt sind. Sie können hervorragend dienen als Ablagerungen von Saatgut."

>[Stealth]

Far off in the distance past the crowd of Social Justice untermenschen you see the entrance to the auditorium.

You throw the dart just no farther than a foot away from the mare assailing your compadre with misunderstandings. You hear the dart stick into the bone of her face but it doesn't really do much damage despite she screeches girlishly in pain.

A hamplanet class feminist awakens amongst the crowd. With a great effort she lifts her blubbery arm to point you all as she lets out a bellowing autistic screech
>youtube.com/watch?v=gjc75gzztdw

The liberals ponies rise up from their low energy drum circle and haseesh sharing and start to crowd around you. The hamplanet flings carriages of infant foals. You remember she was planning on getting an abortion but you guilted her into forfeiting the option. No theres hell to pay.

Dozens of crying baby carriages roll towards you and the jihadi bros. Make an instant to dodge also the libshits block your way.

Your stealth is successful you don't have to make a roll and may move through the grounds with ease

The jihadi bros swing there scimitars throw the carriages of babies.
[1d10] dodge roll

One of them detonates their pajama bomb vest "ALLAH ACKBAR!!" Amongst the crowd
[1d10] attacking libshits

>[1d10: 2] attacking libshits
The Jihadi bro's pajama bomb vest is a dud. He throws the vest on the ground in frustration "Cursed imperialist capitalist Equestrian pig merchandise!" And then spits on it repeatedly.

"Woah baby, babies!"

[1d10] dodge

Trip Code jumps from carriage to carriage, doing sick baby parkour as he throws more darts.

"Eat shit, lefties!"

[1d10] Dual Weapons attack at hamplanet
[1d10]

Sneaking past the crowd, Joseph looks around feeling for some important things like beponce or some ez pucci. Maybe even some money lying around?

>[1d10] taking a look around Master Thief

A loose baby flings out of his carraige smacking you in the face with social justice. The crying of said baby fades as she's lost in the confusion of battle. Beside you is your army of jihadies slicing through carriages like it was no business.

You leap over the crowd and miss the Rolling Hamplanet with your first swing but your second slicing her belly. Causing an eruption of confetti and ambergrease that covers the area. The explosion has subdued the crowd and you and your jihadi bros can press forward.
>you see the same as Joseph when you do enter.

Joseph moves through the crowd unseen and enters the auditorium in You see Beyonce on stage before a vast audience applauding. She's about to start her song.
>youtube.com/watch?v=3yL9w5_thAU

Toward the exit of the area is a staircase to another room. Probably stage controls for lights and sound.

"Fuck, here goes nothing."

Trip says, trying to transform into Beponce.

>Shapeshifting: spell, recharge 3; A Changeling can imitate almost anything the same size as itself. This acts as disguise, but can copy any specific person/object on success, with higher success rolls giving better quality to the shapeshift. The disguise is removed when knocked helpless, rolling a critical failure when attacking, or when dispelled by magic. Purchasing the disguise skill causes this ability to autocrit , but you cannot benefit from it otherwise. Changelings can tell each other apart via pheromones and can automatically see through any disguise you use.

[1d10]

Joseph sneaks onto the stage, dagger drawn and goes in for the autocrit backstab on beponce

>backstab, fucking obviously

fucking retarded

FUCK ME
[1d10]

You morph into Beponce just as your friend assassinates her from the backstage.

You sneak onto the stage and stab Beponce in the spine. She goes out cold in a split second and you pull her to the backstage. The audience thinks it's all a part of the show.

You fellow Jihadies come onto stage and behead the the backup singers and dancers. The crowd goes wild applauding and whistling in praise over the inclusion of diversity.
A Saddle Arabian grabs the mic and speaks into it as the music goes on "There will be one world, with one law presiding over it. There will be no more death and suffering. Bow your heads before Allah and accept his love or face eternal hellfire!" The crowd is in tears going absolutely nuts over the performance.

In the back stage Beponce's body cracks and writhes as she stands up. You see a pink aura of the audience's love for her cause her body to grow disgustingly as carapace bursts out of her flesh. Beyonce was really some arachnid broodmother changeling. She unleashes a mighty autistic screech. As the curtains open up revealing her to the audience.

Trip goes to the front of the stage disguised,

"I am the real Beponce, We came here today to tell you that what you love is fake. You are all unique and special people, this I know, you've heard it in my songs. But when someone also wants to be you, you shouldn't let them. You have to be yourself, and kill anyone who wants to take your place. Because."

Beponce bats his/her eyelashes,

"You. Are. Fabulous. Go ahead, if someone goes into your country and isn't native. Don't let them come here. You are an Equestrian, don't let non-equestrians pretend to be what you aren't,"

Trip winks to the Saddle Arabians,

"These are Saddle Arabians, you try and integrate them and they'll kill you. They are amazing individuals. Praise Allah."

finally Trip takes the microphone and goes silent for a bit,

"And if you're having trouble deciding who you are. If you're wondering what your gender really is. If you're wondering what you sexually identify as. If you don't know who you are, then stop being alive. It's the best solution. Being yourself, is beautiful. Not knowing what you are? That's a problem that can be easily fixed. If your dead, you know what you are. Dead."

She smiles, waving to the crowd,

"THANK YOU SO MUCH EQUESTRIA! BUY MY ALBUM. DRINK BLEACH!"

Joe drags beponces body to the back and lets the jihadis have it. Otherwise he just stands around I guess