25yr old Lisa Theris was going to the woods with two older male friends. She ran away at night when they confided in her that they wanted to become criminals.
She got lost in a 5 square mile large forrest for 28 days. She lost 50 pounds and turned black in the process.
This happened in Alabama.
Oh wow so brown people ARE just covered in shit and dirt!
>She got lost in a 5 square mile large forrest for 28 days.
>lost in a 5 square mile
WAT
Tan + Filth.
That's it.
>turned brown
Das ist Kacke, ja.
She looks good for 25 I'd say.
Yeah, that is staggeringly pathetic.
>She got lost in a 5 square mile large forrest for 28 days
Holy shit this can't be real, my sides.
Can white people become brown in the sun? I thought we would just turn red.
>"We want to do crimes now. We will become criminals. What do you think?"
NO YOU RACIST NAZI SHE CLEARLY BECAME A KWEEN AFTER ABANDONING WHITE SUPREMACY!!!
>She got lost in a 5 square mile large forrest for 28 days
>a 2.25 mile square
That's not possible. You could literally walk out in an hour.
Yeah well you now know what it feels like to see women in the workplace.
Are you ready to write a blogpost about how brave she is? It's 2017 bro. Get writing.
> 5 square mile forest
> lost
no fucking way
wow, really made me think
the most she would have to do is walk 1.25 miles in a straight line to freedom lazy bitch
What in the actual fuck is this bull shit? Gotta be fake
Regardless, she got way cuter.
>She ran away at night when they confided in her that they wanted to become criminals.
Once you turn criminal you become black.
>5 square miles
What the actual fuck. Even if this reporter is retarded and actually means a 5 mile by 5 mile square, you could literally just fucking walk out in like an hour
if you're really white you will tan a little but you're still not brown
then there are shapeshifters (these exist in mediterran and in some southern slav countries) they tan like crazy when getting sunlight
those probably exist in brazil as well?
so to check if someone is truly one of us you must place him into the sun and see if he can take it without showing his true colors
AAAAHHH NO GET AWAY FROM ME YOU'LL TAINT ME *turns black*
I worked down South for like 2 years.
Southern girls ARE unbelievably stupid. You can usually get them to fuck unprotected just by sending them dick pics. There is no feminism there so none of them have aspirations beyond getting pregnant with 8 kids by the time they're 25, unless they're from one of those aristocratic families that owns a cotton farm.
10 square miles and she never would have escaped.
How does this even happen? I used to explore bigger forests than this by myself. I was 12 and from the city with literally no wildlife experience.
This is what I'm thinking... Didn't Survivorman only ever take like 6 days? And it would be in actual remote places, like the Borreal Forest, the Outback, the Amazon, etc.
>What in the actual fuck is this bull shit? Gotta be fake
Real
al.com
Tan + Dirt + No Makeup = Back?
people struggle to walk in straight lines. always end up spiralling. Supposed to be evolutionary reasons for this illusion. to do with sticking with your tribe even when you really don't want to.
>basic ass feather tattoo
lel
If you are long enough in the sun you will be brown unless your are albino.
someone should post the map of the women group of bear grills island experiment
Well that's fucking horrifying
>everyone in this thread
>hurr she's a nigger now
>what is the fucking sun in a hellhole like alabama
>go to America
>get BLACKED
>5 square miles
>thats ~2.23x2.23 miles of land
>assuming you start at one border and pick the wrong direction you have to walk 2.23 miles to get out
>get lost for 28 days
this is a sad case because natural selection failed
it has to do with the curvature of the earth you retard
Still at 5 square miles she could probably see the freeway from wherever she started out at.
she literally walked in circles
How do you get lost in a 5 sq mi area? We ruck 12 miles every 2 weeks in my unit. Takes 3 hours... Reminds me of that dude that spent 3 days making a buggy from spare parts of his car when he got stuck in a desert, when all he had to do was walk 20 miles to the next city.
Obviously she's making it up, she got "lost" while with some criminals, no?
>Put on blackface
>tell the police you were lost
I don't know, probably? Here i walk in the 30C sun everyday and i just get super red, i guess i tan a little bit behind my neck but i still can see all my veins through my skin in my arms.
Can I immigrate to Finnland? Fuck Helsinki and korpiklaani is cool
Women are a mistake. A non romantic homosexual relationship with your best bro is the ultimate redpill.
>Your bro is always over and down to chill
>Someone to help do things with vehicles and around the house that's actually competent
>No faggot shit like kissing
>Dual male income = $$$$
>Go on badass trips like hunting safaris or mountain climbing instead of lame ass vacations
>Maybe adopt a little guy to be our bro
>Blow each other occasionally
before pic doesn't even look white
Pretty sure there's more to the story. She probably got tire of the 3 man and finally decides to return.
Pretty sure you are wrong and I am right
livescience.com
But if you post some kind of evidence im willing to look
Guys it was a woman. She probably tried for30 minutes, gave up then waited for help 90%of the time
That's understandable if she had no outdoor experience, but it's still surprising how small the circles must have been.
>women
They really are fucking retarded.
But I head on the news she had mental problems and was drinking from a cow's troth.
First thing I thought of but I can't find shit.
>Brazil
>We
HAHAHAHAHAHA
I understand that navigating with no actual orienteering skills could cause this but I mean 28 fucking days
People who have never been taught how to navigate in the woods tend to walk in circles.
>Reminds me of that dude that spent 3 days making a buggy from spare parts of his car when he got stuck in a desert, when all he had to do was walk 20 miles to the next city.
>mfw americans are so fat they will build advanced machinery out of scraps instead of walking 20 miles on foot.
Americans , you are truly bound to be a space race.
go down slope find water follow water downstream find people you stupid fucking cunt
Kek
>when the 52% black creeps out
is this a common occurence for """white""" americans?
>underrated
>lost in 5 Square miles
>for 28 days
The absolute state of Americans holy shit
underrated
Be nice to her, xe just wanted to get into medical school.
As long as you're not some third worlder looking for gibs.
Found the video, it was actually a Frenchy.
youtube.com
>5 square mile large forrest for 28 days
i mean at least she lost weight
>confided in her that they wanted to become criminals
What, were they implying they were going to rape her? Also, she didn't turn black; It's a fucking tan and a layer of dirt. Those boys back at camp probably did though.
They said she was lost, not smart.
Well try living 9 months under 30C sunlight and tell me if you still have the same white/pale skin as i do.
>what is a tan?
Romania bringing the bantz. Good jerb, sir. Made me lol.
Nobody thinks that, retard, we're laughing at her for getting lost in a tiny as fuck grove of trees for 4 weeks.
They might mean, '5 miles square', ie, 5x5. Reporters aren't the best mathists.
I had a hard time justifying getting "lost" for 3 hours on our night land nav course in the military and it was larger area. Got some serious fucking stink eye.
She literally has shit caked on her face. Probably gave too many rimjobs.
> 5 square miles
> could have walked in any direction for a couple of hours and gotten out
> took 28 days to figure this out
Now we know why Saudis don't let them drive.
Did you see 'The Island with Bear Grylls'? The women on that show were lost for days on an island the size of a couple of football fields.
That makes too much sense.
this means you passed the test and you are one of us
congrats :)
>lisa, we want to become criminals
>*runs away*
Not white, just as I suspected
This is white people in the US. They all have african DNA. If you leave them in the sun for a few days this happens to all of them.
Theris — a 25-year-old woman from Louisville, Alabama, who had been missing since July 18 — was naked and covered in a rash of bug bites and scratch marks. Her dark hair had become matted, and dirt had embedded deep beneath her nails.
“She said she ate berries and drank muddy water,” Garner said. “I gave her a hug and said, 'You poor thing. You’ve been through a lot.'”
Theris was lethargic, and begged Garner not to leave her side.
“I don’t think she could have made it much longer,” Garner said.
Chief Anthony Williams, of the Bullock County Sheriff's Department, was one of the first law enforcement officers to arrive on scene.
“That’s my first time ever witnessing someone in that condition,” Williams said.
An ambulance transported Theris to a nearby hospital where she has since been released to return to her family’s home in Louisville. Williams said none of Theris' injuries were severe.
Theris' brother Will wrote on Facebook, along with a picture of his sister in the hospital: "28 days stranded out in the wilderness and Lisa is still standing, strongest person i know." In another post he wrote that having his sister home felt "like a dream."
Police said the details of how Theris ended up in her condition are still fuzzy, but two suspects who were arrested on burglary and theft charges are believed to be tied to Theris' disappearance.
Manley Davis and Randall Oswald, who were arrested approximately two weeks after Theris disappeared, told authorities they were driving to rob a hunting camp with Theris in their vehicle, police said.
However, when Theris learned of their intent to steal from the camp, she said she wanted nothing to do with the burglary and jumped out of the car, they allegedly told authorities, claiming they have not seen her since.
The most unrealistic part is that she turned black after REFUSING to be a criminal.
> She ran away at night when they confided in her that they wanted to become criminals.
Looks like SHE became the criminal ay Sup Forums ? ... right?
>lost in a 5 square mile large forrest for 28 days
How long do you think it takes this dumb bitch to find a light switch at night?
Wow, did she just hit her shins on everything. Lol I mean it's not like she was dragged around in a tsunami. I can't say I'm surprised, but still. Also she looks like a normal weight so if she lost fifty pounds, well must have been cornfed. Getting lost in the woods was probably the best thing for her long term health,
I think she was abducted and raped but she doesn't want the stigma or shame so said her friends wanted to be criminals and she bolted.
Healthier looking on the left. The time in nature did her good.
Now she needs a shower.
is that her here again user??
qt
>Lost in 5 square miles of forest
I mean I can understand how that would happen if you have had no survival training what so ever, but MY GOD.
She was smart enough to survive for 28 days, but not smart enough to know her north, east, west, and south, or FUCK she could even have just walked in one direction for 5 miles, and be out of that shit within the day.
Blows my minds.
So what's the secret to walking in the woods? Making marks on trunks so you know where you've been?
You literally just have to look at a tree, walk to that tree, pick a tree behind it, walk to that tree, etc. Do this till you can find a landmark.
>>survived 28 days
days
She is not a nigger she is a zombie!
where is the way into the stomach at the alligators?
>"28 days stranded out in the wilderness and Lisa is still standing, strongest person i know."
And stupidest.
>She ran away at night when they confided in her that they wanted to become criminals.
Huh. I wonder who these these older male friends were.
>Since July 31, two men, Manley Green Davis, 31, and Randall Wade Oswald, 36, both of Pike County have been arrested on theft and burglary charges. However, the two men have not been charged in connection with Theris' disappearance.
5 square miles really isn't that big. If you have no experience at all in the woods you might keep taking the path of least resistance, avoiding thick bush, which can easily lead you in circles.
But fuck, 28 days... in flat terrain... makes me wonder if there isn't something more to the story.
yeah 100% there's more to this story.
if she and her two "male friends" (whatever that means) were going into the forest for legitimate reasons, chances are at least one additional person would have know about where they were. which clearly wasnt too terribly big an area. meaning they'd have found her quick. if they were actually looking, that is.
when you throw in the confession about wanting to become criminals, it becomes all the more obvious there is more to this story. nobody confesses to a Hooter's waitress that they want to become criminals. much less in the middle of a forest, at night.
furthermore, no rational woman goes into the forest with two guys she clearly doesn't know that well. much less without her purse and phone. this bitch is basic as can be, those are more vital than food or water for her.
if I didn't know better, I'd imagine:
1) the group committed a crime, or was planning to commit one in the near future.
2) she herself is the victim of a crime, and was afraid to exit the forest out of fear of getting caught.
3) deep state fuckery. this is pretty much a non-story, and the fact news is all over it says quite a bit. wouldnt surprise me if there was some ritual sacrifice going on in that forest.
this is literally not real.
Women.
yeah this was "based on true facts"
probably got prepared for the picture as well