Describe the perfect crime

You need to assassinate someone. How would you proceed.

> 130 IQ only please.

Break into barber shop. Steal bags full of hair. Kill target with knife, cover crime scene in so much hair that the forensics will be like finding a needle in a haystack.

Hidden blade from up high. Smoke bombs to escape.

make him addicted to porn, drugs and ruin his social life.
the fucker will end up killing himself

shoot them and dont be a little pussy, take your beatings like a man.

ps nobody on Sup Forums has a 120+ IQ unless theyre a jewish troll

poison

Use my head to bash there head in
>IQ 300

take a potato chip and eat it

Honestly, there are probably a lot of creative ways to assassinate people, some of which could be done over the course of years. In fact, how do we know there simply aren't people who get effectively "assassinated" by inducing early onset dementia through chemical exposure or some shit like that.

I refuse to believe the only assassins out there are the ones that kill you with bullets.

Dry ice

Pay attention to the angles (forensically) and take him for a walk on a high ridge. Plain sight always works best.

pay a nigger to do it. say he gets paid 1/4 before and 3/4 after.

once (if) nigger does it's job, kill it with a revolver. leave the body where it is. don't touch it or try to hide it, or cover it up in any way.

don't throw the revolver in the trash you doofus. bury it in the woods during the day or throw it in the ocean/ a lake.

carbon dioxide causes the gag reflex. use liquid nitrogen.

problem is, you'll probably get caught unless you make it yourself (deceptively simple but fairly labor intensive)

Scream AHHHH as you charge at them in open day light with your knife in a public space.

The perfect crime needs planning. Careful consideration for the target. There is no one-plan-fits-all.

Or sell it to another nigger. (Obviously unloaded)

>Implying the average IQ on Sup Forums isn't 370

Make said someone a tea. Overdose it with sleeping pills.
>oh noes! user overdosed with sleeping pills! why would user do that? He always seemed so happy.

>>take a roadtrip to small town.
>>stab small child with icicle until dead
>>leave

Travel to china or some really distant country
stab some random guy I have no connection to and go home
This is a foolproof plan

Pay someone else to pay someone else to do it 1 year later.

You need to create a scenario

Killing someone is not hard, and getting away with it also is not hard
The thing is, where do you get your material from, weapons, poison etc and thats also the main reason why you get cought

making L a smooth black man in the new netflix movie

literally impossible to be critical of IRL without being an evil racist nazi

FUCKING RACE BAITING DESTABILIZING SOROS

I had an idea but then I forgot it because it was so good

Getting a Deafff Noawt

how do you make someone suffer a porn addiction?

Perfect crime is a Law and Order tier meme. Vast majority of murders are unsolved. Police departments perennially understaffed, and majority of cops are not particularly clever. Buy a gun from a gun show and shoot someone.

Tools:
1. Dart gun
2. ice
3. a poison or substance that can kill or hinder in the mg range.

Method:
Substance is suspended in liquid then frozen to make a frozen cube of poison*Using specific ice trays to get the shape of a very small dart*

Rig the dart gun to shoot the icicle. Plan your method and rig a umbrella or concealing device.

Allows you to assassinate someone in stealth and the method of killing allows for the victim to die quickly

Push then onto the subway rails when the station is crowdy. Believe me, it'd work here.

>surname in reverse is IM A GAY
I never realized this before.

>The frozen leg of lamb that you use to bludgeon your spouse and then you cook it and feed it to the cops when they come over to investigate
I always thought that was the perfect crime.

I took an online test. I scored so high that I received a call from the CEO of the testing company that in my case they could only estimate my IQ. There were so many digits in the figure that I couldn't recall them all even if I tried, and I know pi out to 100,000 digits.

As to op's original question the solution is simple: lure the hapless victim out into the desert and drop an anvil on him from an extraordinary height.

That's already a thing.

who are you trying to kill op

...

Explosive radio controlled drone. Impossible to detect, and your purchase / build would be untraceable. This is currently the number one concern by security specialists in the world.

Also, we could give the target super aids by making him fuck OP's faggot asshole.

Hand a nigger a gold coin and the location to pick up the other gold coin when the job is finished.

Apperently just shoot them in the back at 4am in washington dc.

...

all you will need is a bee , some poison and a blow pipe.
1 : inject bee with poison
2 : load bee into blow pipe
3 : point at target and blow .
simples

>go to local doctors office
>$20 copay
>suction massage
that wasn't too bad user, only took 2 hours.

Buy him/her a special t-shirt and ticket to Malmö.

370?! FUCK THAT SHIT!

IQ OVER 9000!

>baking soda + cooking oil = toothpaste
stopped reading

Your scenario lacks enough specifics for a proper answer. Nice try FBI
t. bog level iq

This.

That's actually a good fucking idea.

What are you, a fucking Toon?

depends on who the victim is.

a random i've never met? i knock on their door and shoot them in the head when they answer.

the president or some other high value target with good protection? i would have a drone swarm spray chaff over his motorcade and the surrounding area then move in with a chinook and have 4 men in heavy body armor rappel down, two unload into the crowd with machine guns while two secure the target's vehicle to the helicopter bane-style before all 4 run into the crowd and detonate their suicide vests.

the target vehicle is flown out over the ocean and released into the sea, divers secure a thermite charge to the roof and engine compartment to ensure flooding.

You need to create a honeypot thread. How would you proceed.

>FBI only please

Shoot them in a dark alleyway, extract the bullet from them and leave

le over 9000 hahahaha!! xD yea bro

post wild shit that's impossible to defend against and know that 10 agents are gonna have a late, late night tonight because of it.

why u do dis to me ?

>a random i've never met? i knock on their door and shoot them in the head when they answer.
Wow, what a good way to make sure there are a ton of witnesses.

By being completely unrelated to that person and standing to gain nothing from their death is the only sure way to avoid getting caught.

How to proceed? Discretely find out their schedule and study every detail of it. Then, kill said person with whatever means best appropriate at most suitable the time and place.

Weapon of choice isn't too important. I'd preferably use something that I didn't own and could discard at any time. Such as a sharpened stick, wire, plastic knife that can be melted in a fire, etc...

Everything that I'd do at the time and place of said person's death would need to be completely ordinary and natural.

For instance, I find out that they leave work at a certain time and usually take a shortcut through an isolated alley. I'd go through the alley at the same time they were entering it from the opposite direction. I'd be eating some kind of snack, so that the person doesn't go on guard when they notice me. A little after passing them, I'd stab them in the neck with an improvised weapon that I mentioned above, then continue down the alley. Obviously I'd need to make sure that there aren't any cameras or witnesses and whatnot. The odds of them surviving such a wound would be very slim, although this isn't a mastercrafted plan, but a shallow one that I thought of in the spur of the moment.

I'd go do something else in the town afterwards. Shopping, eating, meeting with someone... whatever. Although that may not be the best idea, it still is a natural thing to do. I didn't go to town to kill the person. That was something secondary, or tertiary. I went to buy some groceries, for instance. That was just something I did along the way...

Best one I have heard of thus far. Worth the read

Work for the Clintons

who?
different people needs to be killed in different way
you would extinguish your mother different way than your barber

Honestly, I don't think anyone who was actually planning a murder would be retarded enough to post here.

>acquire large amounts of hydrochloric acid over a longer period of time
>bring said barrels of acid to an isolated, woody area
>lure target to said area
>use knife to kill
>dissolve body in acid
>pour acidcorpse into a river or something
>bury the knife far from the crime scene
>do a 360 degree turn and walk away
alternatively, if you can't get acid, burning the body also works but can tip off accidental observers that something shady/dangerous is going on - if you go with the burning option, be sure to find and get rid of all the bones, preferably by grinding them up and scattering into the wind

it's fuckin retarded as fuck, too complicated
you could just go with corpse in the middle of the night to some innawoods location and spend fe hours stripping meat from bones
bones into grinder, meat in the ground
easy and simple

Linked them this thread. Have fun in the pokey faggots